Smile
November 2009 The harsh ringing of the bedside phone dragged Victor Kraatz from his slumber on the one morning of the week he allowed himself to sleep in. Groaning, he rolled over in the cocoon he had made of the sheets. �Hello?� He croaked. �Mr. Kraatz? This is Ethan Sinclair, Ms. Bourne�s attorney.� Victor sat up quickly, hoping that Shae-Lynn hadn�t decided to sue him for deserting her as she�d once threatened. He had barely spoken to his partner since they�d bumped into each other in Italy during the Olympics. He and Maikki, now entering their fifth year of marriage, had been bouncing around the world with work and in the attempt to adopt a baby. There simply hadn�t been much time for visiting friends. �Yes?� �I have some rather distressing news. Ms. Bourne passed away yesterday evening. I�m very sorry sir.� If Victor had been standing, he would have fallen over. As it was, he sank back against the headboard, utterly drained of energy. Ever since he�d first encountered the vivacious sixteen-year-old, she had played a pivotal role in his existence. Vic had simply never imagined that one day she�d leave his life as suddenly as she�d entered it. Shae hadn�t even said goodbye. �Sir, are you still there?� �Yes. Yes, I am.� �Good. The funeral will be held in Chatham next Wednesday. It is important that you attend. You are mentioned in her will.� �I�ll be there.� Vic dropped the phone back into the cradle. How could she be gone? * * * * * A stiff wind tugged at Maikki�s black skirts while Victor�s tie threatened to asphyxiate him as they stood around the grave. The morning of the funeral had dawned suitably dismal. It seemed that even the sun missed Shae-Lynn Bourne. Victor was trying to puzzle out yet another mystery. When he had informed his wife of the reason for their impromptu trip to Chatham she hadn�t been surprised. Admittedly, she had put on a good show but they�d been married for years. He knew when she was keeping something from him. It was galling. The priest droned on, reciting the customary prayers and recognitions for a life well lived. Victor didn�t bother to pay attention. There was nothing they could tell him about Shae that he didn�t already know. Nothing except why she hadn�t informed him that she was dying. The monotonous words being said wove a net, catching memories in the shining strands. Victor recalled the electricity that had shot through his hand at their first tryout. Shae-Lynn had been so young then, so innocent. He saw her face wreathed in smiles when he asked her to dance with him. He�d known immediately that a more perfect partner he would never find. They had cried together, laughed together, grown up together. Years had passed and laugh lines had appeared at the corners of her sparkling eyes. Together they had made it through controversy, injury, and finally succeeded. They had shared something few other people did, a gold medal and the right to call themselves the best in the world. Together they had been champions. He remembered their first nationals, first senior title, first World Championships (how nervous she had been), their first tour, their first medal� They had gone through so many firsts together, yet this time she�d gone on alone. His throat constricted at the thought that he would never again see her face with its multitude of freckles and its laughing brown eyes. He would never again see her shiny mop of blonde hair or her stubborn chin. More than anything, he would miss her smile, all at once loving and mischievous. How he had adored that trademark grin. As the coffin was lowered into the dark earth and he prepared to say his final goodbye, he caught sight of a small figure standing forlornly on the opposite side of the grave. He�d forgotten about her. * * * * * Several hours later, Mr. Ethan Sinclair turned to face the group of people sitting sadly in his office. Their faces were white and tearstained. The amount of black clothing in the room was oppressing. �I�m very sorry to drag your focus to business at a time like this but there is one matter that needs to be taken care of immediately and it seemed a good idea to deal with everything at once.� Consenting nods traversed the party. �Firstly, Ms. Bourne acquired a net-worth of a quarter of a million and her life insurance was another million. She leaves 50 thousand to each of her siblings,� Gasps echoed around the room, �And the remainder is to be placed into a trust fund for her daughter, Kassian. Now, we get to the more important item on our agenda: custody of the child. Since Shae was a single-mother, she thought long and hard before making the decision to ask Mr. and Mrs. Kraatz to raise her little girl. The blood rushed to Victor�s ears and he stared at the poor lawyer in shock. Shae wanted him to take Kassie? Him, when the toddler had aunts and uncles who would willingly make room for her in their families. �Mr. Kraatz?� Victor realized that Sinclair had been trying unsuccessfully to capture his attention for several minutes. �She asked that I give you this. There�s an office down the hall that you can use if you�d like a little privacy.� Vic�s eyes remained fixated on the white envelope. He finally tore his gaze off the distinctive, loopy handwriting and made his way into the solitude of the small room. He ripped the letter open, not noticing the paper cut he acquired in the process. It began simply enough � Victor, If you are reading this, then I am already gone. You�re probably standing there, with that bewildered look upon your face, the one that I love so much, wondering why I didn�t warn you. I spoke to everyone else, even to your wife, yet I couldn�t work up the nerve to confront you with the news that I had leukemia. I simply couldn�t bear to say goodbye. I�m asking you to adopt Kassian for me for a number of reasons. I know that you and Maikki have been trying to adopt a child. Your wife told me that she would love to have Kassie when I asked her. She really is a wonderful little girl. She�s so smart and very beautiful. You can�t help but love her. Oh please, Vic, love her for me. I trust you Victor. I know that you will make an excellent father. I hope that you will tell her about me. Don�t let her forget me. Make sure she knows who I was and how much I love her. I want you to teach her how to skate. Don�t pressure her to join a club or win the Olympics, just teach her to appreciate the feel of the ice beneath her feet. I want her to know and come to love everything that I loved, and that includes you. Smile, Shae-Lynn Bourne Unbidden, the words of the song they had skated to so long ago flashed into his mind. Smile, though your heart is aching Smile, even though it's breaking When there are clouds in the sky You'll get by... If you smile With your fear and sorrow Smile and maybe tomorrow You'll find that life is still worthwhile If you just... Light up your face with gladness Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near That's the time you must keep on trying Smile, what's the use of crying You'll find that life is still worthwhile If you just smile A light rap on the door startled Victor from his reverie. �Come in?� A small head poked through the gap, �So,� the toddler asked with a remarkable show of maturity, �Do you want me?� �I�d be a fool not to,� He replied, feeling his mouth quirk up slightly. �Good. Mom told me you�d say that.� The little girl was captivating. Her honey blonde hair hung in wisps around her heart-shaped face. Bright blue eyes sparkled amide a light dusting of freckles. Upon hearing his reply, a hauntingly familiar smile ghosted across her rosy lips. Maybe he hadn�t completely lost his partner after all.
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