Chapter 4
Victor�s POV: It was a silent ride back to the Athlete�s Village. Sitting on opposite sides of the taxi, it seemed as though Shae-Lynn and I both felt a little unsure of what to say. It was so difficult being right there with her but not knowing what she was thinking, not knowing what to say. I was confused. Confused of why she did what she did, how I felt about what happened that night and, most of all, the intensity of my feelings for her. The car pulled to a stop---it was only a short car ride from the rink to the athlete�s village. Slipping him a $10 and thanking him, I climbed out of the car and helped Shae with her stuff, still unsure of the best thing to say. �Thanks,� she said softly, glancing up at me. It was apparent to me, just by looking into her eyes, that she was feeling the same nervousness I was. �You�re welcome,� I said, shifting my weight from my left foot to my right, anxiously. Why did this feel like 8th grade?! We paused, not saying anything, looking at anything but each other. �Shae� �Vic� Realizing, that we just spoke at the same time, we both glanced up and made eye contact. I saw her mouth start to turn into a smile and I began laughing. It wasn�t long before she had joined me and we were both in hysterics, realizing how ridiculous we were both being. �Um, you think there are going to be people waiting up for us in there?� I asked, thinking of how horrible it would be to have to face all those sickeningly sympathetic faces in there. There was nothing worse, in my opinion, than people feeling sorry for you�especially if it was you that made the mistake. Shae-Lynn glanced at her watch. �It�s pretty late, I think everyone will be in bed. Tons of events begin early tomorrow. Besides, I asked Tatiana to tell people to basically back off tonight. I�m sure they�ll respect that. I knew she asked Tatiana to do that for me. Shae can really handle anything but she knows how I hate confronting large groups of people, especially in situations. �Thanks,� I said as we began to walk in. �Uh, do you want to wait to talk till tomorrow? I mean, it�s late, or should I say early�I understand�� �No,� She said turning and facing me. �I�d rather we talk tonight. Besides, I don�t see myself falling asleep well tonight anyway,� �Me either,� I confessed. �Listen, Jen�s in the room�why don�t we meet down here and figure out where to go from there�say in ten minutes. Is that ok?� I nodded. �I�ll be back in ten minutes,� She smiled and agreed, then turned to go to her room. I stood there�.finally alone with my thoughts. Now there were far larger things than skating on my mind. It still killed me that I was the one that made such a costly mistake but that almost seemed miniscule compared to what was consuming my thoughts at the moment. The feelings I had for Shae-Lynn were larger than ever and I was at the point where I knew it would be virtually impossible for me to be with her and not act on them. I sighed and walked to the nearest chair. I had to sit down�clear my head of thoughts of her. Running my hands through my hair, I tried to think of anything else. Anything but the sight of her smile, the sight of her big brown eyes, always full of light�always laughing. �She makes everything unique, everything fun,� I thought to myself. -Flashback- Competitor�s Party, 1999 Canadians Standing uncomfortably near a few other skater, I glanced once again at my watch. I gasped in horror. Only five minutes had passed! Our coach always wanted us to go to these competitor�s parties. She said it showed we were humble and that we were good sports. Too bad they were torture.It was an understatement to say that I didn�t enjoy these parties. In fact, I hated them. I never was the type that was the life of the party, who enjoyed to meet new people, to mingle�.ugh, I could feel myself shudder at the thought. Don�t get me wrong, I�m not anti-social. It�s just that if you gave me the choice of staying home and being with people I knew well and going out to parties, you know what I�d choose. I just didn�t have that personality. I grabbed a chair and sat down and grimaced. Why was my tie so tight? I undid the top button of my shirt and pulled my tie down slightly. �Wow, this place is dead,� I glanced up and my breath caught in my throat. Shae-Lynn was standing next to me, looking as beautiful as ever wearing a black halter dress with red trim and an angled skirt. Her light blond hair was worn down and she was wearing just enough make up to bring out her already beautiful features. As strange as it sounds, I was actually just seeing Shae as a woman. Even though she has been a grown woman for years, to me, I really saw her as a kid. Over the past few years or so, it seemed as if Shae-Lynn had grown into a woman over night. It made me feel better about the ever growing crush I had on her. I cleared my throat nervously. �Um, I guess you could say that. You know how I feel about these things, Shae-Lynn,� She laughed and rolled her eyes. �Yes, how could I forget?� She cleared her throat and assumed the position. �Shae-Lynn, these things are such a waste of time. I spend the whole time sitting there, wishing I could be some place else. Why can�t I just leave�.blah, blah, blah, blah,� I couldn�t help laughing. �Ah, the Victor Kraatz impression. You know it�s gotten better with time,� She smiled proudly. �It has, huh?� She glanced around the room where people were huddled in groups, obviously missing the point of the party. No one was mingling with anyone outside their own groups. �No wonder you want to leave, Vic,� she commented. I couldn�t believe it. Shae-Lynn wanted to leave too? �Let�s make this place come alive!� She exclaimed, her eyes gleaming mischievously. She ran as quickly as she could in her tiny stiletto heels the had grown accustomed to wearing to the DJ, where she whispered something quickly in his ear. He smiled and nodded. She walked back to me with a coy smile on her face. Suddenly, the corny, elevator music stopped. �What did you do?� I hissed quietly at her, feeling all eyes on us. �Trying to make this place fun!� she exclaimed as the sounds of �Everybody Dance Now,� filled the room. �You did that by choosing the corniest dance song you could find?!� I asked in disbelief as she burst into laughter. She nodded excitedly. �I knew you�d love it. Now, come on!� She grabbed my arm and pulled me in to the dance floor. �Shae�.I uh�� �What?� She asked, already moving her feet to the beat of the music, oblivious to the stares of everyone in the room. I felt my face turn red and she slowed down so that she could talk to me. �I�.um�� �Vic, what is it?� she asked discretely so that only I could hear. �I uh, can�t really dance�� She smiled gently. �Sure you can. Anyone can dance,� she seemed to read my unsure expression. �Ok, here, I�ll slow down. Follow my movements. Nothing Fancy, I promise,� She moved her feet slowly from side to side, staying in tune with the music. I had no choice. I had to follow her, otherwise, I would have made a complete idiot out of myself. �There you go,� She said tenderly. �Loosen up a little. It�s really just like skating. Whatever you do, you won�t look dumb, ok? At least you're trying. You're having fun. Let them stare. They're not the ones trying to do new things. Don�t focus on anyone around us. Just focus on me,� I did just that. I looked into her eyes and felt my anxiety go right away. Soon, I was actually having fun. Before long, everyone had joined us on the dance floor and we were moving right along with the best of them. I still didn�t love those parties but I was able to find some fun in them after that night. And Shae was always right beside me. -End Flashback- I grabbed my stuff and hurried up to the elevator. I still needed to change and drop off my stuff. As I entered the elevator, I made a promise to myself. I was going to find a way, sometime soon to tell her how I felt. The feelings I had were becoming too difficult to keep inside.
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