| Den Mark H. dela Cruz |
| Jokes |
THE THINGS WE LEARN IN GRADE SCHOOL
Chance had it that an Atenean and a La Sallite were peeing in the Men's Room at the same time.
The Atenean finished first and after a quick shake, zipped up and was about to quickly exit. The
La Sallite finished peeing immediately after, approached the sink, turned on the faucet, started
to wash his hands and hurriedly shot a remark at the departing Atenean -- "You must be an
Atenean!".
The Atenean replied, "Why yes... you're right... But aside from the obvious markings on my
jacket, how did you know?"
To which, the La Sallite answered rather haughtily, "I noticed - you didn't wash your hands
after peeing. You see, we La Sallites, were taught very early in Grade School, to always wash
our hands after we pee!"
And the Atenean replied somewhat sheepishly, "Oh... Well.. You see, we Ateneans were taught,
very early in Grade School, never to pee on our hands..."
MAHIRAP LAHAT
Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT.
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.
WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?
If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle.
If you have no money, go to PUP.
BARKADA SA HUNTING
Tatlong magkaka-barkada: a La Sallite, a UP stude, and an Atenean went on a hunting trip.
The first night, the guy from UP comes back to the cabin with a big deer. The others ask him
how he did it, and he cooly replies: "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I
got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Ateneo comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I
followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.
So the La Sallite decides to try it himself. But the next night, as he drags himself back to the
cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody all over. "What happened?" they ask?
"Well," replies the La Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit
me."
HOW DO YOU KNOW ONE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
In a grand ballroom party conducted by the Philippine Society of Colleges and Universities,
the Chairman of the Board got curious in knowing what particular schools attended the big
celebration. So he checked out the house where it was all happening. Guess who he found
out and where he found them?
UP Diliman - everybody was lined up to the attic to have a fraternity ritual
UP Los Banos - they were in the garden mowing the lawn
UP Manila - they were into "drugs"
Ateneo - they were inside the TV room with a microphone chanting the "BLUE EAGLE" spelling
La Salle - they were eavesdropping
San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans while others were at the bedroom with some Paulinians
St. Paul - they thought they were with the Ateneans
La Consolacion - they wanted to be the Paulinians
Holy Spirit - they want the Paulinians
Miriam - they were beside the room of the Ateneans . . . like always
Assumption - they were inside the bathroom three hours already since arriving
St. Scholastica - they were next in line with the bathroom
CEU - some were doing the dishes while others were busy with the laundry
St. Louis - they were in front of the air condition
UE - they don't know what's air condition
UST - they were everywhere
FEU - they were nowhere
MLQU - they were not invited
San Sebastian - How the hell did they pass by security?
Letran - the Security
Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the roof
TIP - they were the ones who created the leak
NU - they were outside the house selling cigarettes
JRC - they were the ones buying
Adamson - went to Luneta instead
Sta. Isabel - they were Adamson's dates
CRC - what the hell is this party for?
PSBA - what the hell is CRC?
NCBA - what the hell is PSBA?
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©2002 Den Mark H. dela Cruz