KLINGONIZE!
What is "Klingonize"
Klingonize is a term conceived by Capt. K'wISt zantai-XuDetlh (Joel Nye) by which things are converted into Klingon related materials. This is sort of a fun way of doing different things with a Klingon style. The following was created by Capt. K'wISt.
Here are some simple tips toward making everyday things more Klingon:
Speak (briefly) in the proper English dictum.
End sentences (especially polite ones) with the phrase, "...or DIE! "
Growl, or Roar. When you stand, when you bowl, but especially when something dies!
Threaten to destroy stuff, especially trivial fun things. ("That noisy cricket has no Honor! I must DESTROY him!")
Threaten to Conquer stuff. ("'Tis a lovely planet, I shall have to CONQUER it some day...")
Claim lots of stuff. ("I claim this parking space in the Name of the Empire!" or "...then we shall have all the cheese
Danishes on the entire planet!")
Make goofy issues of Honor. ("Oh, such dishonor I shall never live down!")
Get grandiose with Glory. ("It rained profusely, but the march was Glo-ri-ous!")
You Know You are a Klingon If?
- 1. Your other vehicle is a Battlecruiser.
- 2. You ask if your food is dead yet?
- 3. When eating utensils at a restraunant are used to clean your beard?
- 4. You walk into a weapons shop and yell "TOYS!"
- 5. When the census bureau asks "Other? KLINGON?
- 6. When you have to go to "Omar the Tent Maker" for your clothes.
- 7. When Terran is your second language.
- 8. When for comedy you watch WWF.
- 9. When lite reading is the "Art of War".
- 10. When you were scheduling your vacation for the "Gulf War".
- 11. When a belch is a compliment.
- 12. When the term "Nuqneh" is unconciously in your vocabulary.
- 13. Doing the "terran "Bug Slug" causes broken bones.
- 14. When your home decorating theme is "Early Iron".
- 15. When you pick your teeth with sharp, metal, pointed objects.
- 16. When you root for the guy with the better weapons.
- 17. When you walk into someone's house and ask if their pet is dinner?
- 18. When you hate small fuzzy things.
- 19. When you walk into a gun shop and say" Nothing Larger?"
- 20. When you walk into a bar and the bouncer takes one look at you and crys.
- 21. When you start putting a "K" in front of every thing you say.
- 22. When you look at a item and the first thought is how to turn it into something Klingon.
NOTE: If you come up with any others, please feel free to drop me a e-mail and I will add them to the list!
Proctor
House Trekkan
Ja'Krinda
be'Suvwl sutai-Trekkan
[email protected]
Updated 3/6/08
