Plate o� Shrimp
-Film, Music and the Cosmic Unconsciousness-
Welcome, ye lads and lasses. Let�s not dawdle, shall we? Let�s get down to brass tacks (whatever that means*).
Anyone who knows me will tell you how bizarre it is for me to name my website �Plate o� Shrimp.� Why? Because I don�t eat seafood. In fact, I avoid it with the same fervor that women who look like Playboy Playmates avoid me. Of course there is the occasional odd exception. For example I have been known to use Worcestershire sauce, which contains some essence of anchovy. And if those rumors about Budweiser putting fish oil in its beer are true, well, let�s just say I�ve drunk enough fish to fill a decently-sized coy pond.
Of course this all begs the question, �Why precisely did this punk name his website �Plate o� Shrimp�?� Simple: it�s a reference to one of the all-time classic cult films, Alex Cox�s Repo Man. If you have to ask, you either haven�t seen the film or you haven�t seen it enough times. (Silly me. What am I saying? You can�t see Repo Man enough times.)
As to the specific reason I chose the name, well, that�s explained further in the Cosmic Unconsciousness section of the site. You can read about it there (when it�s actually active that is), or you can ignore it and enjoy the mystery.
A couple of things you should know about me when it comes to film.
1. I believe firmly in the policy that critics should not tell people not to watch any given film. There are exceptions, of course. I would have no problem, for example, telling my mother not to watch Re-Animator, as its combination of rotting corpses, homicidal intestines and a decapitated tongue bath just ain�t her bowl of chick peas. But that�s a case-specific kind of thing. When it comes to criticism, I have no problem telling people that a film is a complete piece of crap (well, for the most part, see #3 for more on that), but I�m never going to tell you that you shouldn�t watch it anyway.
2. This isn�t a big issue as I will rarely be doing long form plot synopses, but when it comes to spoilers, I try to be just as respectful of them if the movie is garbage as I would if it�s an acknowledged classic. So, just as I wouldn�t dream of giving away the ending to the original Planet of the Apes (not that I have to, seeing as how the last video re-release did so on the freakin� cover) so would I similarly keep mum about the ending to Tim Burton�s remake, though that may be partially in fear of someone asking me to explain the goddamn thing.
3. I am what I suppose we would call in this age of psychobabble a �bad movie enabler.� Basically what that means is that while some of my colleagues, even some of those here at the almighty Crab Chips, seem to take great glee in ripping certain movies new orifices, I tend to go out of my way to find the good parts, any tiny little good part I can find. I prefer to see these low budget stinkers from the Ed Wood, �at least they tried� perspective as opposed to MST3K�s famous surmise of Larry Buchanan, that he �just didn�t care.� Am I a fool? Quite possibly. Of course when it comes to big budget stinkers�well, I actually tend to do the same thing, but not as much as with the shoestring crowd. Unless the big budget stinker happens to involve someone whose work I otherwise admire. Or an actress I�d really like to boff. Jeez, this is getting complicated and creepy and the site is called �Plate o� Shrimp� not �Time Wasted Analyzing Marxo Grouch,� so let�s move on. And if I end up branded the Alan Alda of Crab Chips, well, don�t forget he got famous playing an alcoholic, womanizing troublemaker, so the joke�s on you. Or me. Or all of us. Fuck it.
Onward and upward!
Reviews
The Abominable Snowman- Hairy beasts, spiritualism and frostbite.
Forbidden World- When I say �knock-off�, you say �Corman!�
Freddy Got Fingered- So bad, it�s g- no, wait, it�s just bad.
Gothic- Typical Ken Russell excess. Literary twerplings get spooked.
Monkey Hustle- Lightweight blaxpo with good intentions but not much else.
Reform School Girl- Prototype WiP flick courtesy of AIP.
Welcome to Arrow Beach- Can we offer you something to nosh on?
Coming Soon
Tee-Hee, I�m Naked!- T&A Films of the �70s, �80s and Beyond!
Bu�uel in Brief- Random scribblings on the master of surreal cinema.
Punk, Not Punk- The music of SST Records.
The Cosmic Unconsciousness- Happenstance, serendipity, coinky-dinks - it�s all good.
Back to the Crab Chips homepage
* �Some believe it refers to the brass tacks used under fine upholstery, others that it is Cockney rhyming slang for �hard facts,� and still others that it alludes to tacks hammered into a sales counter to indicate precise measuring points.� Special thanks to the highly useful xrefer.com for that utterly irrelevant piece of information.
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