| Copyright 2006 KPUT Komedy Ink. All rights reserved. |
| ajldfdj |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billio people across the globe |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billion people across the globe |
| Click below and go to KPUT Bios and Future Obits and read about four guys who have collectively devoured a million little pizzas. |
| E-mail us at [email protected] to give feedback and/or receive monthly notifications of site updates. The next sentence is true. The last sentence was false. |
| Click below and go to the KPUT Archives and read six years worth of stories even we can't believe, and we wrote them! |
| presents a very special edition of |
Click Below for KPUT Archives |
| The pages on this site have been completely written or at least seen by: Ben DeJean Hector DeJean Glen Keenan Steve Scholz |
| January 2006 |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billion people across the globe |
| turns over it's pages this month for |
| "Recently, I have been attacked for misrepresenting things in my memoir Million Little Pieces and its follow-up My Friend Leonard. I was even called out for lying by Oprah Winfrey, who had recommended my book to her legendary book club. "I am not taking this lightly. I've talked about facing the truth in my books, and now I must face everything that I've done and do so with the stone cold sobriety my readers expect of me. I've never been more open and honest about my writings than I am today. That's why I'm offering you my new book with no excuses, no apologies, and no bullshit." |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billion people across the globe |
| James Frey Presents a Companion Piece to his Memoir! |
| Million Other Little Pieces, Footnotes, Revelations and Revisions is a dream come true! This brand new book contains every single scrap of paper Frey used to compile his memoirs, plus annotated footnotes describing the facts that inspired his million-selling* book. *(Sales statistics compiled before public admission of lies) |
They handcuff me and force water down my throat. I spit it out before choking. I bite the Guard's hand when he slaps me. The sherif says I am the Most Violent Inmate they ever laid eyes on. You're going in the record books, Son. I stare at the wall. Bubba stands off in the corner, too scared to piss. Don't let him near me again, Officer. That's boy's crazy! Another cop opens the door. He leads Bubba out to his own cell. That's when I make my first escape. Plowing past the guards. Running for the door. I get fifty feet into the Parking Lot when the baton hits me. I struggle with seven beefy Cops. They can only keep me down with a Tranquilizer Gun. I wake up with a bloody jaw, lying on my bed in a smaller cell. My straitjacket is tightened again as I'm force-fed more food. I spit it back in the Guard's face. |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billion people across the globe |
| I am riding in another wheelchair from the Mess Hall. What day is today? It's March 19. The guard takes off my restraints. I collapse at the chess table. My head fucking hurts. My heart pounds like a machine gun. If a Higher Power takes me away right now, I would go willingly. |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billion people across the globe |
It's the day before Christmas. I can't tell where I am. I'm having a relapse. I swore to myself that I would never wake again covered in drugs, tasting puke, choking on my own tongue. I lied. I am face down on cold Concrete. A guy throws me against the wall. Are you gonna pay? I am caked in coke and vomit. My nose is broken and bleeding everywhere. Are you gonna pay me or not? I barely hear him above the Sirens and the People walking past the Alley. I try to move my Left Arm. I cannot move my Right. You don't pay, you get your head bashed in, understand? I feel my wallet getting wet with my fresh Urine. My legs shake. I just want a drink. Vodka. Red Bull. Battery Acid. Anything that would take away this pain. I let myself go where I never wanted to go again. I can hear my Mom crying. I can see my Dad shaking his head. I can feel my legs being whipped around as I get thrown into the wall again and again. |
| Don't miss your chance to purchase the entire works of JAMES FREY! And be sure to watch the big screen for more of FREY'S TRUE LIFE ADVENTURES! "Million Little Pieces" will soon be a major motion picture, and this NEW book will be an even MORE MAJOR MOTION PICTURE coming to AN EVEN BIGGER SCREEN NEAR YOU with IMAGES SO MASSIVE AND BLOODY and FILLED WITH SO MUCH SHIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO EAT YOUR OWN SHIT, VOMIT IT BACK UP, SHIT THE REST, AND THEN EAT THAT SHIT AGAIN BECAUSE YOU'VE HIT ROCK BOTTOM!!!! ORDER YOUR COPIES TODAY!!!!!!!!!! |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billion people across the globe |
 |
 |
| You'll get amazing, never-before-heard shocking stories! |
 |
| EXAMPLE |
| James Frey claims to have a tattoo that says: |
| FUCK THE BULLSHIT, IT�S TIME TO THROW DOWN! |
| But his notes show the tattoo originally said: |
| FUCK THE BULLSHIT, IT�S TIME TO THROW UP! |
| And, you can read comparisons of Frey's actual writings with the source materials he used! |
 |
| EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK |
POLICE BLOTTER James Frey, 22, spent the weekend in jail charged with one count of drug possession. His cell mate, Marcus "Bubba" Henson, 29, was separated from Frey after Henson issued threats of violence towards Frey. Henson was sentenced by a circuit county judge to four years probation for violating terms of his parole. Frey cooperated with police and was regarded as "nothing but a model prisoner" by his arresting officers. Charges against Frey were dismissed due to a lack of evidence. He was later released to the custody of his parents. |
| FREY'S COMMENT "You can see here how I took something kinda boring�charges getting dropped�and made it into something exciting. Neat, huh?" |
| ORIGINAL SOURCE MATERIAL |
| EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK |
| Frey's even lets us into his most secret of places... his own private diary entries! |
| ORIGINAL SOURCE MATERIAL |
| March 18. 19-- Dear Diary: Woke up refreshed. Cant get over how I'm smiling. March 19, 19-- Dear Diary: Feeling all right. Nothing to report. March 20, 19-- Dear Diary: If this is spring, let's make it last all year long. |
| Plus you get a look at Frey's recent life, and the story behind the story!! |
| EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK |
| ORIGINAL SOURCE MATERIAL |
 |
 |
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billio people across the globe |
| FREY'S COMMENT "That's pretty much what really happened. To my best recollection, this page in my book reflects the notes as I accurately remember them." |
|
| On Saturday, July 2, 2005, more than 4 billio people across the globe |
| FREY'S COMMENT "My parents believe everything I write is true, and that's good enough for me." |
|
| �2006, Big Jim Industries |