Although I began this work promising that I would not claim to tell readers what really happened, but instead what people said happened, I now feel as though I can offer my version of Judas’ life. If this were the 1850s, I would dress this up and present it as biblical scholarship, and if I were a better writer, I would make it into a historical novel, but I can only offer it here as an entertaining piece that says more about me than about Judas. Again, what I am claiming is not historical accuracy, but a story that ends the way I would like it to.

Judas was a regular guy. He met up with Jesus and joined his group. He was as confused and alarmed by Jesus’ actions and teachings as the other disciples. On the night of Jesus’ arrest, Judas suggested that they all do some heavy drinking in the garden (let’s not forget, Jesus was known to his detractors as a "drunkard" - Matt 11:19; Luke 7:34). Not the most appropriate way to celebrate Passover, but Jesus was not known to stick to rules regarding food and drink (Matt 12:1; Mark 2:23; Luke 6:1). Things got pretty out of hand, and the authorities showed up. Most of the other disciples were passed out by then (referred to as "sleeping" in the gospels – Matt 26:40-45; Mark 14:37-41; Luke 22:45-46), but Judas had the misfortune of having to watch his friend Jesus arrested, made more humiliating because Judas was hiding behind a bush, and Jesus was shouting ineffectually and incoherently for help, something about "Here comes my betrayer!" (cf. Matt 26:46; Mark 14:42). The next day, Judas was quite embarrassed at the previous night’s events. He went to the authorities to beg for Jesus’ release, or even to offer himself in exchange, but they were bent on Jesus’ destruction, turning Judas’ embarrassment into devastating guilt, worsened by the fact that he (as well as all the other disciples) had always been envious of Jesus’ power and charisma. They did, however, see some usefulness in him: they asked him to help guard Jesus’ tomb (cf. Matt 27:62-66). At first Judas was shocked that they were even talking about Jesus’ death, then he was appalled that they wanted him to be a part of it. But then he remembered all the strange prophecies that Jesus had made about rising from the dead, and he thought that being near Jesus’ tomb would in fact be the best place for him. They paid him more than he expected, and just before dawn, with the other guards having fallen asleep, Judas was the first to see the risen Christ. Before leaving, Christ forgave him and told him that they would not meet again until they were both in paradise, so Judas never had the problems with imminent eschatological expectation that other early Christians had. Judas went back to the authorities and told them the truth, still hoping to change their hard hearts, but all they wanted to do was to bribe him into saying that the other disciples had taken Jesus’ body (cf. Matt 28:11-15). He couldn’t agree to that deception, but did agree just not to say anything at all, not to tell anyone else of Jesus’ resurrection. Judas had always preferred anonymity anyway and could not see himself as much of an evangelist. He took their money, making them agree to circulate the rumor that he had committed suicide (cf. Matt 27:3-10), since he had never been very close to the other disciples, except Matthew, who as a former tax-collector had also been ostracized by the group. He had now been paid twice by the authorities, and quite a lot the second time, so he had plenty of money to buy a farm near Jerusalem (cf. Acts 1:18-19). He did always keep in touch with Matthew, and that is why Matthew’s gospel is the more sympathetic and accurate regarding Judas, though Matthew agreed to perpetuate the rumor of his friend’s death. Judas later married the eminently practical Martha (cf. Luke 10:38-42), raised several children, and died peacefully shortly before the Jewish War (66-70 C.E.), so he was spared the pain of that disaster.

So there’s my version. Judas makes a mistake, but he still gets the money, gets the girl, and gets forgiven. After the way he’s been treated over the centuries, I really think he deserves it.