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| Think humans are polluting this planet? You should see E.T. and his mates |
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Ever been down Chester Road at about 8 in the morning? Man, its worse than smoking 10 fags sellotaped together. The air is very polluted. Its not too bad on somedays, but others you can taste the lead. Although middlewich isn't too bad for pollution, you imagine some places like london get bad during rush hour. And we don't just have London, though, do we? All these major cities in the world chugging out more smoke than kearns in the fag factory cannot be good for the atmosphere. So doesn't it piss you off that aliens are coming to our planet to pollute it even more than it has to. You don't see us earthlings flying to the planet Znorkk and pumping shite in the aliens atmosphere.
My proposal: Aliens, if you insist on flying to our crummy planet, then atleast land your aircraft and do some walking. We don't need more polluting from other worlds, we are doing just fine by ourselves. Hopefully, the aliens will be able to tap into the internet and read this stuff to help make a clean earth. Lets work together on this, you slimy bastards. |
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CLEAN FLYING:
Okay, although UFO's look like they are environmentally friendly, they are not. Aliens like you to think their advanced technology allows them to fly without effort across the sky. However, look at a photo of a ufo little more closely... They are petrol powered like our cars (you can see the exhaust pipes). Man you aliens bite. So here is my plan for you to give the errie ufos a fly in our skys without using horrible petrol.. |
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Simply, the aliens set up a catapult ontop of the cliff. They paint a massive rock white or silver with torches sellotaped to it and load it into the catapult. The aliens then simply snip the support rope and the white rock will go flying over the city leaving star gazers gobsmacked. |
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ABDUCTION:
May cost more than the "beam me up scotty" approach, but hey, this is the enviorment were saving here. Abducting costs valuable electricity, not to mention flying those petrol ufos. What aliens need:
- An ounce of hash
- Bright Lights
- A stretcher
- Lighter |
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Simply, our interglatic cousins must simulate the fear that one would experience whilst being abducted. Ganja is excellent for this. It will make the victim feel wired and paranoid whilst the ganja shows no effect to the aliens, its in their metabolism to feel no effect towards it. the ganja also make the victim too weak to put up a fight to get away. Thats what the alien at the bottom is doing, hes burning pot. The alien in the window is shining a light to simulate the bright lights that happen whilst being abducted, and the alien on the right is waiting with a stretcher to carry their gibbering victim away. |
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ALIEN / HUMAN BREEDING:
As sick as it sounds, women have claimed to have become pregnant by aliens seamen whilst during their abduction period. Then the women often claim that before the baby is born, the aliens come abduct her again to claim the baby. Artificial insemination? Nah, come on lads, that uses precious electricity. Do it the proper way... |
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This really doesn't need explaining, does it? |
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BLOWING UP STUFF:
If you've not seen independence day yet you deserve to die. Grumpy Aliens love to blow stuff up. However, destroying buildings without causing polluting fires can be tricky. Or maybe not.. |
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The aliens dont have to do much except block the toilets in the buildings with toilet paper. The waste would be so bad that nobody would want to go into the buildings what with the smells and flooding, thus deeming them abandoned which is sort of like destroyed. Hey, both words have a D and an E in them. Fuck you. |
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Pay homage to the homepage |
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