Dogs normally make good pets. Fethching the stick, biting postie, tricks for treats and best of all, they are a real buddy when your bored. Normally dogs are the best domestic pet, and certianly the most intelligent. Cats suck. No reasons, they just do. However, no matter how good Fido is, be warned: they still eat. So? This tends to make them crap.
The legendary dog poo was always a good laugh at infant school. When some poor kid trod in dog poo, it would often generate much laughter from his peers. "Ha ha mr. pooey" and other such childish names, that makes the poor kids already messy experience even more humiliating. Now 18, with a group of friends, you tred in a pile of solid dog gravy then fear not: you are a mature young man, so whatever names your immature friends call you does not bother you. However, should they persist, then get a stick, scrape the doggy off, then wipe it on them.
Okay then, what happens when you are by yourself, in your garden? You tred in some shit then walk it through your house. Normally, an eagle eyed friend would spot the squashed brown on your boot, but by yourself? You have no chance. This is what happend to me the other day. I was coming in from a day out, around 3pm. Some stupid idiot let his dog crap right outside my drive. If I'd have know who it is, I would have got them round and forced them to eat it. So I'd walked dog shit all through my kitchen. And that..? That normally means I'm an unhappy person. So, after picking up all the shit from the kitchen, I started to work on my trainers. I couldn't find any gloves, but thought "fuck it, I'm a man, I don't need no puffy rubber gloves. Besides, whats the worst that could happen?"
The smell did not leave my fingers for a good 2 hours, preventing me from eathing anything. However, my trainers were cleaned and it had only taken me 30mins to make the kitchen, and my trainers compleately shit free. Chuffed? yes. For long? No. It turns out whilst I'd been cleaning my trainers, Jet (my bigger dog) had let her bowels loose all over the kitchen. IS GOD WORKING AGAINST ME? The door leading outside was open but the dog chose to unload inside. To make things worse it wasn't solid and had sweetcorn in. BARF. As I was cleaning up, the same words kept going through my head 'why didn't you stay at your job?'
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