Seen the new jackass movie yet? They don't do any new episodes for a long time so stick together three episodes and call it a movie. Don't get me wrong before you say I'm bitching about it. I'm not, the "movie" itself was good, but I just thought it was a bit of a rip off that they called it a "movie" when it could have been passed off a special on MTV. They could have named the "movie" an hour and a half special on MTV and nobody would have thought a thing else. But because it says movie.... oooh lets get our cock out and shag it. Mind you, the scenes itself wasn't to bad - it had pleantly of people getting badly hurt. But:
- You never saw the car go up the arse
- Some stuff wasn't that good - like trashing a rent-o-car. Wow.
- They needed more fire/explosion effects throughout the movie. Example: Firework strapped alongside dick instead of being attached by string.
- Needed to be a little longer
- Whats with all the practical jokes taking place in japan? That night panda thing, wee-man in a cone, party-boy dancing to the japanese police officer and fortune teller and some other gay stuff. Poor slanty eyed twats.
Overall its a good idea but its a little worn out. I heard it was really bad and movie critics said it shouldn't be shown. Woah - its like the stuff that couldn't get shown on telly. Man - erhen freis his sick then eats it. Thats bad but that was shown on MTV so eating his piss isn't even that amazing. Now - if he'd baked his shit into waffles than made other people eaten them without knowing, that would have been 593 times funnier. But, enough bitching, I did enjoy the moive so here are some points why it was good:
- Wee man kicked himself in his wee-head
- Johnny K got hurt with a bean bag and got knocked out by a "butter-bean" and a golf cart landed on him.
- X-rays with cars up arses
- People shitting pants
- Paper cuts from hell
- Humping whales
- Electro-shit stuff tied to a penis. And a firework.
- Plus other stuff that I can't think of.
But at the end of the day it still shouldn't have been classed as a movie and they shouldn't have cut anything out of the movie, which you could tell had been. Now we have to wait for the dvd to see a toy car inserted into a gentlemans ass. Bugger.
Keep in mind that this was in the MHelath section in the daily mirror, which is for middle-aged women but they did a feature called 'Dont be jackass - avoid doing these things!'. As if a middle aged woman is gonna get on a bike and fly into a cactus. Bollocks. If you do something stupid, you know your going to get hurt, but the article bollocks goes on about mental damage and busting arteries. Who cares? I bet none of the women even bothered to read this. And now you wonder what I was doing reading the women section, anyway. Pufter. And whilst we are on the subject, have you read the FHM's version of this? 100 best jackass stunts.
Jackass is nothing compared to Dirty Sanchez - hell, jackass is nothing compared to me. I've put my dick in a hoover, I've gone down the stairs on a baking tray, I've lit my testicles .I also have video footage just incase you think I'm a fat lying cunt - I might post pictures one day, should I be arsed.
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