Where do I start? I HATED this movie. All in all, its one of the worst movies I have ever seen (alongside deep blue sea and lord of the rings). Basically it has some stupid, blonde girl crying all the way through the movie. To make things worse, she has a voice like a chipmonk thats just inhaled helium. I wouldn't mind but the damn movie does not make sense. "ooh but koral you were just stoned so didnt understand" SHUT UP!! The biggest query I have is this:(and even those poor bastards who watched it all the way through still couldn't answer it). When our big matcho main man tells this amy person (whos a lesbian, how original) that he loves her, she goes psycho. "thats not fair on me" she screeches "im a lesbian, you know how difficult this is on me, blah blah blah". He replys with "but I love you" and she tells him to fuck off. How interesting i though to myself. Then, after all this bollocks that shes hitchin' a ride he walks back to his car and she runs back and kisses him. WHAT???? Unless some illegal drug is effecting my mind, and I was trippin', what the hell went on? It was so lame. Its just a crappy film aimed at stoners with girlfriends but still sucks. The only decent part was with jay and silent bob in it, but even their standards have been slipping these days. The film sucked. It made me even more pissed off when the had the lesbain talking about licking each other out. That part was so false it makes me wanna puke.
NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, YOU WILL NEVER FIND A FIT LESBIAN WHO WILL WILLINGLY TALK ABOUT HER EXPERIENCES WITH OTHER FIT LEZZIES. It just doesn't happen in real life. All these good looking chumps in the film, everybody looks too good and thier jobs are so perfect. Look at it like this: guy with great job (draws comic books) goes out with fit lesbian. Guy also has flat with mate and looks well off in money department. THOSE TWO SENTANCES ALONE ARE SUCH BOLLOCKS!! Why not do a movie more people can relate to..? Adverage looking guy does a 9 to 5 shift in the office. Hes dating a straight woman. Hes not well off and has to live in a tiny house with all his kids from the previous marraige. See? Thats more realistic because there are more people in that position. This trendy american / perfect lifestyle bollocks that actually happens to like 0.0000000000000001% of earths population is bollocks. And what the fuck am I on? Shes not even that fit. If they insisted on doing the stupid movie why not do it with some girl who is a stunner and hasn't got a high voice? Maybe if the chumps who did the movie actually followed my help guide, they might have kept a room full of stoners occupied. Unfortunatley they didn't becuase that moive did suck so much I think i might be sick.
After this e-mail was sent, it caused some upset. Kearns was pissed off as he has wasted money on buying in on buying a DVD for the movie (I know!). Here was my response:
Well, well, well. It seems like I've touched a nerve of which belongs to kearns. Clearly pissed off that I've dissed the shite that is "chashing amy" he responded with quite a harsh e-mail:
"stop moaning you fag.
the reason shes in the film is because she has worked with him in the last two films the clerks and mallrats so shut the fuck up."
Firstly, lets assume I know who the hell hes taking about. Him and her? Oh right, thanks for helping me understand this crap even better. I'll assume that your talking about the blonde chipmonk and "him" being her boyfriend. Did I ask for a reason why shes in the film? No. Did I need to know anything more about that crappy movie? Nope. I do not care. The movie sucks. Infact, the only more information I would have liked would be where her address is (so I can power-bomb her through a table). HOLY CRAP! It gets worse, apparently. Theres atleast another two moives with her in! (what is her name anyway? Oh yeah, I dont care). As of yet, I have to see a film that exceeds the standards of Jay and silent bob. They are like the comedy duo from this sad group of friends. Thats why jay and dr. bob is like the best film by these group of people, is it mirrormax? Oh wait, I still dont care. I managed to not put my head through the telly in fury when chasing amy was playing because I'd already fallen into a coma. The film was so bad. The god channel would have kept our attention better. I understand that mr.kearns has used his money to buy the DVD so must defend the movie otherwise he will have wasted �12 and look an idiot. Plus, hes probably masturbated over the chipmonk voiced bitch licking his ass.
Still bum the movie? Read:
(reasons why chasing amy is the worst movie ever (worser than lord of the rings):
- crying blonde all the way through
- crying blode sounds like chipmonk
- crying blonde is NOT fit
- the film is for stoners with girlfriends (bad combination)
- it is NOT funny, even in a stoned state I did not hear one laugh
- drawing comic books for a job, a lesbain girlfriend, own flat - IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE
The main problem, though, was the film was too puffy. Real men don't watch movies about love. They watch movies about car explosions, rape and monsters with 400 teeth. We real men dont want to watch emotion movies because no matter how hard you try, they will never be funny or show decent explosions.
Now, I'm off to watch a movie called "the exploding monster with lots of teeth" that I taped ages ago, it'll improve my man hood.