Nice. It was 8am. A bit early, but seeing as its my birthday, I couldn't see no harm in getting up early and enjoying the day. Plus, I've been sleeping in bed 'til late so getting up early was a change. How wrong I was. The first half hour started off great. I rolled myself a light spliff and had a smoke down the canal. "Seeing as you're up early, come shopping with me" father said as soon as I strolled in from my illegal activity. Bugger. How soul destroying could Morrisons possibly be? Its been a while since I've been to morrisons. Hell, its been a while since I've been shopping at all (with the odd exceptional visit to somerfield). My bullshit detector has risen considerably since my last shopping trip, but little did I imagine that morrisons would trigger the detector big time - I certainly didn't expect to be writing an e-mail about it before I went it. That place fucking sucks.
As soon as I went in, the speakers were playing this awful music. Cheesy shit like "if you wanna be my lover" playing and pitifully trying to make the place seem brighter. The staff were all people around my age, and not one could force a smile. All of them looking down and just working. Shit, not only does it destroy customer souls but the poor blighters that work for them aswell. There was way too much crap on the shelves, buy this and that all over the place. I noticed how the products sold were, like morrisons, full of shit (you tend to notice these things after a hour of being there). Sunny delight for example. Top drink if you dont mind being pumped full of drugs. But all these candy ass labels on it trying to show its good for sprogs isn't good at all. Sure it may have 100% RDA of vitamen C, but does it mention that its got 3 times as many preservatives as coca-cola? No? Why not? Oh yeah, its full of bullshit. If companies mentioned to consumers exactly what went into that lovely glass of Social delight, then consumers might not buy the product anymore, but atleast they'll apprieciate the honesty. I would. How can you possibly justify putting chemicals into drinks that may cause problems in the future? Sure diet coke is tasty and only contains 3 calories, or whatever, but do they mention it contains a chemical that gives brain tumours in later life if too much is consumed? 'Course not. (I would look up the name of the deadly chemical, but its my birthday. I can't be arsed!)
GM free is another load of old crap. Dipshits, listen up: GM stands for genetically modified. For this example we shall use wheat because its east to write. Scientist can genetically modify the DNA of wheat. They could change the DNA to make the plant withstand harsh heat or little water - whatever tickets the scientists' fancy. Then, the scientists can produce a batch of the wheat seeds and flog them off to farmers. The farmers then buy these seeds. Our new GM wheat wont die as easy as regular wheat giving the farmer more crops when its time to blow the cob-webbs off the combine-harvester. Simple as. However, some people think its right to bitch about GM foods because they "aren't natural". Alls the scientists are doing is speeding up the process of evolution, thus saving thousand of nigs who need the wheat that can grow in desert temperatures.
I'm not trying to make you for or agianst GM foods, think what you like about it, its just another thing that idiots who make food can put on their products. Hovis for example: "100% GM free" Oh, excuse me whilst I change my freshly soiled scrunts. Who cares? 100% GM free foods aren't exactly hard to make (or come by), and GM free doesn't mean there could still be preservatives in it, or the raw materials used weren't sprayed with pesticides. Fucking liars. I then proceeded to the magazine section, hoping to have a flick through the latest PC, music and naked ladies section, what a fucking let down. There were two PC magazines. One was computer buyer, which has the information, just a boring way to present it. Oh, and its like 5 quid. PC format on the other hand. Top mag. Its like a corss between computer buyer and Fhm. Jokes with articles on top computers. Kick ass. Well, it would, except thalf the mag was missing. With morrisons located in winsford, you tend to get the scallys coming in and stealing the free CDs that come with any magazine. The computer ones often have demos of the latest games on, so really don't stand a chance against any cd theifing town pirate. Music: Just kerrang. Whoopee doo. Not had that since Wednesday. Anything remotley to do with naked ladies was infact Fhm and other 'lads mags'. Seeing as the only lad mag I read is Fhm, it seemed pointless staying in the magazine section any longer - not unless I wanted to watch a spotty employee bring out even MORE copies of the TV listings mags. You know which types, 'Hello' and 'Chat!' the types of mags that pretend the soaps are real. Ooh: 'Kat and Alfie get together this week! Read how they finally get it on' and a picture of the eastenders in question on the front cover. Grannies bum this kind of shit.
Thinking I couldn't get much downer, I saw what I thought was the light. "All Cds in basket �3.99". Kick ass. Knowing that most of the CDs would be radio-friendly pop rejects like Aqua or dead 'legends' like elvis I was suprised to see SUBLIME there. I could not belive it! Well, until I pulled the CD out, then found it actually said "Sublime classics" which in turn meant Beethoven and Motzart. Shit. To be honest, I didn't expect to be writing my hated for a shop on my birthday. Its quite awful really, so I intend to stop now. But be warned Morrisons, and indeed, any other supermarkets that suck just as much: Im on to you. You dont wanna piss me off, because I sometimes get really mad!! Wooo!!