NEWFOUNDLAND COMPUTER TERMS
(Welll ! ! ! ! !..they kinda make sense)

1. Log on         Make the wood stove hotter

2. Log off         Don't add no more wood

   3. Monitor       Keep an eye on that wood stove

   4. Download   Getting the firewood off the truck

   5. Floppy disk     What you get from trying to carry too much firewood

   6. Ram                The thing that splits the firewood

   7. Hard Drive      Getting home in the winter

   8. Prompt            What the mail ain't in the winter

   9. Window           What to shut when it's cold outside

  10. Screen            What to shut in fly season

  11. Byte                  What the flies do

  12. Bit                     What the flies did

  13. Mega Byte       What the BIG flies do

  14. Chip                   Munchies when monitoring

  15. Micro Chip       What's left in the bag after you eat the chips

  16. Modem               What you did to the hay fields

  17. Dot matrix          Old Dan Matrix's wife

  18. Lap Top                Where the kitty sleeps

  19. Software          The dumb plastic knives and forks
they give you at the Big R

  20. Hardware              The real stainless steel cutlery

  21. Mouse                   What eats the grain in the barn

  22. Main frame             What holds the barn up

 23. Enter              City talk for - "come on in, b'y"

  24. Web              What a spider makes

  25. Web site      The barn or the attic

  26. Cursor                Someone who swears a lot

  27. Search Engine  What you do when the car dies

  28. Screen Saver   A repair kit for the torn window screen

  29. Home Page      A map you keep in your back pocket just in case
  you get lost when picking berries

  30. Upgrade           Driving up Barter's hill

  31. Server               Mrs. at Donovan's who brings the jig's dinner

  32. Mail Server     The guy at the Big R with the grade 8 education who brings the fish

  33. MSDOS          Some new disease they discovered

  34. Sound Card    One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you opens it

  35. User                  Buddy down your street who keeps coming over and borrowing stuff

  36. Browser          What they call you when your eye brows grow together

   37. Network         When you have to repair your fishing net

   38. Internet            Complicated fish net repair method

   39. Netscape       When a fish maneuvers out of reach

   40. Online             When you get the laundry hung out on the washline

   41. Off-line          When the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground!