EVERY MINUTE 

Kanes POV

I stand in my hotel room staring blankly out the window and contemplate the mess of my life. People look at me and see some sort of indestructible monster, but the truth is I’m weak. I’m so weak that I still can’t get over *him*. He still haunts my dreams and holds my heart. Everyday I still ask myself what went wrong. I loved him, still do, and he claimed to love me too, but still he turned on me. Just like everyone else I ever trusted. I wanted to believe he was different, but he wasn’t. He betrayed me just as the others did. But his is a betrayal that cuts deeper than any of the others ever could. The others I always knew would betray me someday, but he made me believe he never would. That makes it worse. Now I’m faced with having to see him everyday and pretending I hate him when really, no matter how much I try not to, I still love him. I’m jolted from my thoughts by a knock on my door. I consider ignoring it, but whoever it is knocks again, this time more insistent. I make my way to the door wondering who would be coming to see me. I open the door just a crack to see who’s there. What I see makes me wonder if I’m asleep on the bed dreaming. Standing at my door is the person who taught me how to love and then betrayed that love.

Sean.

As my shock wears off it’s replaced by suspicion. "What are you doing here?" I ask him.

He looks at me nervously, "Can we talk?"

"You’re kidding right? What could we possibly have to talk about?"

"Please Kane, just hear me out. Then you can beat the hell out of me if you want." He looks at me with pleading wide brown eyes that I never could deny.

I sigh at my own weakness and open the door to allow him entry. I close the door behind him and turn to him expectantly and cross my arms over my chest, "So talk."

He looks at me sadly, "Kane, I came here to apologize. For everything."

Ok, definitely not what I was expecting to hear. I’m shocked beyond comprehension. I search his eyes looking for the lies, the deceit, but I find only honesty although clouded by something else. Sadness? Regret? I’m not sure. I sit on the bed and stare at him in surprise, waiting for him to continue.

He takes a deep breath and then goes on. "Kane, I know you probably won’t believe this but I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what’s important in my life. I was faced with possibly never wrestling again and I realized that if I couldn’t wrestle then I didn’t have anything. I don’t want to live my life that way, but before I can move forward I have to make peace with the past. That means giving you an explanation. We became so close so fast I got scared. It terrified me that you had become so important to me, and that’s when Hunter approached me about reuniting DX. My fear made me weak and I decided it would be easier to walk away from you than to take a chance on us. So I went along with Hunter when he planned the ambush on you during our last match together."

He pauses for a moment and I see the tears brimming in his eyes and his voice catches as he continues. "The minute I hit you with that X-factor I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret it. I saw the hurt in your eyes and I almost stopped everything to beg your forgiveness. But then I saw the hurt turn to rage and I didn’t think there was anyway you would forgive me so I went on, I decided the kindest thing I could do for you was make you hate me. So I set about making your life miserable."

I look at him, tears beginning to cloud my own eyes, "Why are you telling me all this now?"

He looks at me forlornly, "I thought if you hated me it would be easier for you. But what I didn’t count on is that you would start to hate everyone. I can't stand to see you do that to yourself. Look, I know this doesn’t change anything, I know we can’t go back, but what I’m trying to tell you is give yourself a chance to find someone to care about and who cares about you. You’re a good man Kane, you deserve to love and to be loved, don’t give up on that because I’m an asshole."

The tears are flowing freely down his cheeks now and I have to resist the urge to wipe them away and pull him into my arms. This is the man that ripped my heart out and stomped on it, I remind myself. He moves to leave and I want to stop him but I can’t. I need to process everything he’s just told me.

When he reaches the door he pauses but doesn’t turn around as he speaks so softly I barely hear him, "You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I threw it all away. Now I have to live with that everyday of my life. I wish I could take it all back, Kane, but I can’t. I can only tell you how sorry I am."

And then he was gone.

I stay where I am stunned, still trying to sort out everything he said. As the shock wears off, hope begins to swell in my heart. I try to shake it off and focus on all the hurtful things we’ve done to one another. But my mind won’t stay there; instead it goes back to our time together. The quiet moments we shared. The way he would snuggle against me in bed and wrap his body around mine. Whispered words of love to one another. Then, all at once the dam I'd built around my heart breaks and my feelings for him flood over me in a tidal wave. If there’s even the slightest chance we can be together again I have to take it. It’s a risk, I know. He could end up hurting me again, but when measured against the overwhelming happiness I feel when I’m with him it’s a risk I know I have to take. I have to find him. I rush down to the lobby and demand his room number from the desk clerk. She looks startled but evidently decides against pissing off a 300 pound seven foot mask wearing man with a crazed look in his eyes. She gives me the room number without argument. I head quickly to his room. I have no idea what I’m going to say to him, I just know I have to talk to him.

Sean’s POV

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling refusing to let the tears fall. I vow not to allow myself the release of tears. It’s a weird form of self-punishment, I’m the one who hurt him, and I have no right to cry. Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to face the rest of my life without him. I bared my soul to him and he barely said a word. Not that I blame him after all the hateful things I’ve done. When I went to him I was sincere in my motive; I wanted to encourage him to move on. I knew what I had to say wouldn’t change anything between us. I knew it in my head anyway. My heart had other plans. My heart wanted him to wrap me up in those big, strong, gentle arms and tell me he forgives me. Tell me he still loves me. Tell me we can be together again. Yeah right. I shudder as a fresh wave of tears threatens to fall. My self-pity is interrupted by a knock on my door. I decide to ignore it, there’s only one person I care to see and I’m quite sure he’s not standing on the other side of that door. They’re persistent though, they knock again, although this time it’s more of a pounding. I’m just about to tell them where they should go when the pounding stops and that voice with the low rumble that turns my insides out travels trough the door. "Sean? It’s me. Let me in."

I scramble to my feet, breathing deeply to calm myself. When I open the door he charges in and goes to stand in the middle of the room. I close the door and walk slowly towards him wondering what to do. I’m not sure what’s left to say. I shift nervously as he stares at me and silence envelopes the room. Finally he speaks, "what if I don’t want to find someone else to care about? What if it’s you I care about? What if I miss you?"

Could it really be that he'd take me back and give me another chance? I look up at him incredulously as he reaches out a hand to caress my cheek. God I’ve missed his touch. I bring my hand to his as if to hold it there and have to swallow a sob as I find my own voice, "I miss you too. Every minute of every day."

Then, in the space of a single heartbeat, I’m wrapped up in those arms just as I had ached to be. I wrap my arms around his neck as his hands make their way down my back to tenderly caress my ass. When he gently lifts me, my legs instinctively wrap around his waist and I burrow my head in the crook of his neck. There are no words to describe the feeling of being held by him again. The closest I can come is simply, it’s the feeling of coming home.

He moves, never breaking his hold on me, so he’s sitting on the bed with me straddling his lap. I keep my head buried in his neck, afraid if I move or speak it will shatter the moment and I’ll discover it’s just a dream. I feel like I can’t get close enough to him. "Hold me tighter. Please," I whisper.

Although I’m already crushed to him he obliges me and as his arms tighten around me I sigh in contentment. He clears his throat several times trying to speak, finally he gets the words out, "I love you, Baby. I always have."

My heart soars and my body tingles at the use of the endearment. It’s a cliché, I know, but I love when he calls me Baby. He knows it too, so his choice to use it makes it all the more meaningful. I kiss his neck and nip at his ear before whispering, "I love you too. I never stopped."

I reluctantly allow him to lift my head from his shoulder and he takes a moment to remove his mask and gaze into my eyes before leaning in to lightly kiss me. It starts off soft and gentle, chaste almost, but then we deepen the kiss as we both indulge in what we went without for so long. I can’t stop the whimper that escapes my throat as I savor the feeling of being back where I’ve always belonged. I don’t protest when, never breaking our kiss, he rolls me on my back and covers me with his own hard body. His hands begin to roam my body and I arch into his caresses yearning desperately for his touch that I was denied for so long. My desire for him is overpowering in its intensity. I need to touch and taste every inch of him. I push gently on his chest, and he takes the hint allowing me to roll him over, reversing our positions. He groans as I nip and suckle on the sensitive spot on his neck that my mouth finds from memory. I kiss my way up his neck to his ear and he shivers beneath me when I whisper huskily, "let me take care of you Lover."

"Sean you don't.." I stop his protest with a kiss.

"Shhh, let me do this for you," I tell him.

The lust in his eyes is all the answer I need. I pull his T-shirt over his head and lovingly go about the task of reacquainting myself with his body.

Kanes POV

I can hardly believe my beautiful Sean is back in my arms. Although I've continued to dream of holding him again, I never dared to hope I would. The jolt of pleasure with every touch, the delicious taste of his soft lips with every kiss, and the evidence of his arousal pressed into my own throbbing groin all combine to assure me that this is no dream. When his lips abandon mine, my groan of protest turns to one of pleasure as he trails butterfly kisses down my neck, making his way to my chest. I close my eyes savoring the feel of his body pressed to mine and when he begins lapping at one of my nipples I tangle my hand in his raven curls holding him close, ensuring he'll continue his sweet torture. He suckles at the tight bud while his fingers toy with its twin gently coaxing it to attention. I gasp at the sensation, "Jesus Sean." Obviously he's not forgotten how sensitive my nipples are.

He chuckles quietly before whispering into my chest, "I see some things never change, let's see if I remember just exactly what it takes to make you beg."

I shiver, as much from the sensation of his hot breath ghosting over my already tingling flesh, as from the passionate promise of his words.

He moves to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first. I arch into his touch as he alternates between lightly biting then suckling my sensitive nipple, the roughness of his beard against my over sensitized skin adding to the sweet sensation. When his hand finds its way to the bulge in my jeans and begins stroking me through the denim I nearly come, then and there. "Oh God, Baby please," I manage to choke out.

He takes pity on me, and nimbly unfastens my jeans and I lift my hips allowing him to remove the rest of my clothes, sighing as my erection is released from its prison. I chuckle as my lover gazes down at me with lust in his eyes. "Baby," I tell him, "don't you think you’re a bit over dressed?"

He grins at me and stands to remove his own clothes. I watch him, my desire growing as each piece of clothing is removed. When he stands naked before me I realize he's obviously been working out, and although I thought he was perfect before, he now looks better still. "Christ Sean, you're more beautiful then ever, c'mere," I beckon him.

He blushes and takes a moment to retrieve a bottle of lube from his bag before rejoining me on the bed. I pull him to me, relishing the feel of his soft flesh pressed against my own, and capture his lips with mine. I nibble gently on his lower lip before thrusting my tongue into the hot moist depths of his mouth. He moans into my mouth returning my kiss with equal passion, his hair falling in a silken curtain around us. All too soon he abandons my mouth but before I can protest he journeys his way down my body with a series of light kisses and flicks of his tongue that have me whimpering helplessly beneath him. When he reaches my swollen cock he pauses to grin devilishly at me before his tongue darts out to collect the precum that's leaking from the head. The simple light touch is enough to have me thrashing on the bed moaning with anticipation of what's to come. My baby doesn't disappoint. He trails his tongue along the underside of my shaft, lightly kissing the tip and then taking just the head in his mouth. By the time he begins expertly easing my throbbing cock down his throat and applying gentle suction I'm already delirious with desire. I stare at him through lust filled eyes as he bobs up and down on my cock, his talented mouth igniting a need deep within me that had been dormant since I lost him. The pleasure is overwhelming in its intensity and soon my climax washes over me as I flood his mouth with my hot release.

Seans POV

God, how could I have forgotten how good he tastes. I greedily swallow everything my big lover has to give, and when the shudders racking his body cease I slowly kiss my way back up his body until my lips meet his in a fiery kiss. His arms wrap around me and my body goes slack against him, melting into his embrace as our tongues tangle together in a dance of passion. I'm so lost in his kiss I'm barely aware he's reversed our positions until he breaks our kiss and I find him staring down at me. He doesn't speak, just gazes into my very soul and opens himself up so I may gaze into his. No words are necessary, it's all there in the look we exchange. All the heartache of our time lost, all the passion, all the love, all the regret, all the forgiveness, and most of all the promise to never lose each other again. A noise escapes his mouth that I can only call a growl before he crushes his lips to mine once more, kissing me with a frantic need matched by my own. He's hovering above me, his hips straddling mine and I can feel his cock already stirring back to life, rubbing sensuously against my own aching need. He begins rocking against me grinding our cocks together and I gasp, arching into him, clinging desperately to his strong shoulders. Never stopping the seductive movements of his hips he lowers his head to lick and kiss the tendon of my neck, while his hand slips between us to toy with my sensitive nipples. The ability for coherent speech has long since abandoned me and I can only whimper with need and thrash beneath him as he continues to tease me. The rocking of his hips quickens and the friction of our cocks rubbing together has me groaning with desire, my release so close it threatens to escape my control at any moment. He swirls his tongue in my ear and then rumbles, "your beautiful like this Baby. Cum for me, cum right now Baby."

His voice affects me as much as his sensuous actions and I have no choice but to obey his command. I cling to him, vaguely aware that I'm screaming his name, as I relinquish control of my body to the waves of pleasure coursing through me and spurt after spurt of my hot release splashes between our chests. I'm still panting when he claims my mouth hungrily once more before he begins kissing and licking his way down my body. His tongue travels over me licking my cum from my chest, seemingly determined to taste every inch of me. By the time he makes his way down my body, between my legs, my cock is beginning to swell with desire once more. I watch through heavy lidded eyes as he licks teasingly at the tip of my cock and then suddenly he envelopes me completely in the hot wetness of his mouth. I clutch at the bedcover beneath me, moaning deep in my throat, as he works his mouth up and down on my throbbing cock. Through my haze of desire I'm vaguely aware of a bottle cap popping open and I cry out in pleasure as one slick finger enters me. My body moves of it's own accord, my hips thrusting down to drive his finger deeper within me, then arching up to meet his hot mouth still feasting on my cock. When he adds two more fingers to the first angling to hit my prostrate the jolt of pleasure that rolls through me has me screaming his name once again. He continues his delicious torture, his mouth worshipping my cock, his fingers gently probing and stretching me, making me a trembling mass of need. Through my whimpers of desire I finally manage to sob out a plea for him to take me, "please Kane, need you." It's the closest I can come to a complete sentence.

He answers me by lifting his mouth from its task, removing his fingers from me and settling his own hard cock at the entrance to my trembling body. He stares down at me, eyes smoldering with desire, before lifting my legs to his shoulders and in one long, slow, easy thrust he buries himself completely deep within my waiting body. He's every bit as big as would be expected but there is no pain. Never have I experienced pain when he takes me, not even the initial twinge of discomfort. No matter how urgent his need, or mine, he has always taken the time to prepare me in just the right way so there is no pain, just a delightful feeling of fullness. Strangled sounds of pleasure come from my throat as he begins moving within me. He sets a slow rhythm easing almost completely out of me, then languidly slipping back to fill me once again. He gasps above me, "oh, god, Baby." I cut off any other words he might manage when I cover his mouth with my own, desperately unable to convey all the passion, desire and love coursing through my veins.

As he expresses his love for me with every thrust of his hips, every fervent kiss, and every tender touch, suddenly it occurs to me. I realize with starling clarity, I've been fucked more times than I care to remember, but my gentle giant is the only man who's ever truly made love to me.

He reaches between us and begins stroking my cock in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. He continues his slow pace making me beg; more, harder, faster. Finally, gradually he increases the strength and speed of his movements, angling every powerful thrust to hit my prostate, until finally he's pounding into me as I mewl in delight thrashing beneath him. I'm completely lost in the pleasure, my climax a hairsbreadth away from overwhelming me and just when I'm about to crash over the edge he stops all his movements, preventing my descent. A sob meant to be his name, tumbles from my mouth, "Kaaaane."

"Shh Baby," is his only answer as he begins slowly easing in and out of me again.

Once more he gradually increases his pace, finally taking us both to the brink, but stopping, again, with my release just out of reach. When I whimper into his chest he whispers to me, "hang on Baby, I'm just not ready for this to end yet."

I do the only thing I can; I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and hang on for the ride, giving myself up to the pleasure.

Over, and over again, he slowly increases his pace until we're both writhing in a frenzy of need, taking us both to the edge of release, but always stopping just before the final crescendo can be achieved.

Finally, just when I think I can take no more of his wonderful torture, I feel my orgasm approaching and this time he allows me to ride the waves of pleasure to completion. I come, spilling my seed in his hand, screaming his name yet again, as my internal muscles clamp around him. With one final thrust and a strangled moan he comes, flooding me with his essence, claiming me as his once again. The sensation is one stimulus too many for my overloaded senses and his whispered words of love for me are the last things I hear before I submit to the darkness.

When my eyes flutter open, he's tenderly stroking my sweat soaked hair away from my face as he gazes at me with so much love in his eyes it brings tears to my own.

Words seem horribly inadequate, but I try anyway, "I'm so sorry I ever hurt you, I love you so much Kane."

He kisses me tenderly, "I know Baby, I love you too."

He rolls onto his back, pulling me with him so I can rest my head on his chest and wrap my body around his. He lightly strokes my back as I snuggle into his embrace and soon I'm drifting into the most contented sleep I've had since last I was with him.

End