to whom it may concern
(but most likely it does not)
i simply cannot take this anymore
ive been abandoned
more than once or twice in my day
far too many times than i deserve
but now its one more time
and its the last time
too much time
too much effort
trying to protect myself
my heart my soul
only to be unsuccessful at the very least
trusted one, and only one
(keep your friends close
and your enemies closer)
the one whose soul
is now stained with my blood
the one last hope of mine
the last dove
in an acidic sky
strong enough to melt your soul away
as it has mine
trusted one, and only one
to hold my heart dear
to feel safe with
eventually only to find
that like the fool i am
trusted a wolf
with watching the herd
and looked right into her eyes...
growling, snarling, fangs bared
drooling at the thought
that shed soon be feasting
on the mutton of my soul
how blind, how naive of me
to believe that love exists
this will be the last time...
cant take it anymore
wont take it anymore
no relief anywhere
not from me not from god
not from you, not from you
and certainly not from you...
lived my life on guard
only to let it down
like wild bill hickhok
the one time he played cards
with his back to the door
was the last time he ever saw a hand...
caught that knife square in the back
gave it a nice place to rest
went in slow, painful
stopped snug, dead center, through my heart
a metaphoric knife
but painful nonetheless
however, not as much as the razor
which i hold in my trembling hand
only cut through the top layer of skin so
far...
a little pain, a little blood
what youd expect from a rusty blade
(the less clean the cut
the more painful the operation
pain which i deserve
for being as i am)
it looks so perfect
glistening in the dark
reflecting the dim light
back into my eyes
now the second layer
a little more painful
a little more blood
again, what youd expect
again, what i deserve
again, what i should have done long ago
my hand is shaking pretty bad now
and the blood is dripping to the floor
landing on the t-shirt
she was supposed to sleep in tonight
the crimson and tan is beautiful...
its just too bad
most of you will never see it
and most of you have figured out by now
that if youre reading this
i must be dead
and most of you right now
probably never saw it coming
and most of you right now
never knew id go so soon
but one of you did...
one of you was foolish enough
to leave their razor behind for me
the guilt will be punishment enough for thatparty
and now it is time
i must go feed myself
to the wolf in the herd
shes already devoured my soul
might as well have some meat for her bones
so i leave you now
with one last thought
perhaps it could have been prevented
perhaps not
perhaps it was meant to be
perhaps not
its of no use to anyone
(let alone me)
to ponder upon these questions
just get on with your lives
and forget about me
for i was of no significance to anyone anyway
except as a meal
for the wolf...
____________________________________
A DIFFERENT SOUL TO TAKE APART
A DIFFERENT PERSON TO BREAK MY HEART
-mOPZ