Chapter: One
"Rumor has it that she is the worst one yet." One
orderly commented to the other. Clearly he thought that just because I wouldn’t
talk meant I couldn’t hear.
I was being committed to Cedar Glen
Psychiatric Institution as a mute whom was actually deemed to be dangerous to
my own health. I was seventeen, unable to get myself out even if I wanted to.
But I didn’t. I had nothing to leave for. There was no way that I was going to
expose myself to society any time soon. I was escorted to my room alone.
"We’ll test her for a few days, if she doesn’t try anything
we can put her in the first available room."
"What if the other patient is a male?" the other orderly
questioned.
"Obviously you haven’t looked at her papers, every psych exam
she’s had indicates childhood sexual abuse issues. That’s what made her go
mute. I doubt she’ll even go near her room-mate, male or female." The
other orderly responded.
I made a conscious decision to try and behave myself over the next
few days. A room-mate would be fun to watch and study, and in a week I would
know all of his or her habits. And so I did behave. I made no attempts to do
anything but eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. In a few days I had earned my
new room-mate.
I was sitting on my bed when I heard the locks being released on
my door. An orderly came in and pulled me from my bed firmly, but not roughly.
He walked too briskly and basically had to drag me along, down a hall, in an
elevator, one turn after another until I was shoved into a room similar to my
old one. There was an empty bed to my right, mine I guessed. The difference was
actually two things. The first being that there was a very
small window on the back wall of the cell, but a window none the less.
Finally there was a bed on the left with someone sitting on it, someone I
recognized…
* * *
Self committed. Basically that
meant that I could get out whenever I wanted but I didn’t want to get out. I just
needed a break. Completely unexpected by everyone, I had a freak-out after out
fifth album tour. I couldn’t take anything anymore. No more fans, no more
music, no more meds. I didn’t want to worry about any of that and so I
committed myself. I just needed a break. I needed to get a grip on reality
again. I’d go back to the music scene when I was ready. The orderlies and
anyone associated with me were not to say where I was, so that I was free of
all ties.
I had been in Cedar Glen for about a year and two months now, in
my own room when they finally convinced me that it would be better for my
recovery if I took on a room-mate. At that one I laughed, but still agreed, as
long as I wasn’t bothered.
I sat on my bed with a pen and notebook when I heard an orderly
coming down the hall. They had warned me that my room mate had a history of
being hostile. The door was unlocked and the orderly pulled in the patient
behind him. A number of things startled me. For one thing, the patient was a
girl, and a pretty one at that. She had shoulder length brown, almost black,
hair and these wicked blue eyes. Even under the dumpy scrubs that all patients
had to wear I could see that she had a pretty nice figure. What actually
startled me more was her apparent age. She couldn’t have been more than
eighteen.
"Well Mr. Davis, here’s your room mate, the orderly, whom I
knew as Bob stated before giving the girl a slight shove forward, "call if
you have any problems." He said more to me than her. She was hostile? Yeah hostile as a butterfly.
"Hi, my name’s Jonathan." I said, attempting to sound
friendly and welcoming though I was rather unsure. This was the first human
contact I had had in ages. She didn’t say anything, just tilted her head to the
side and squinted at me with those strange, ice blue eyes. Finally she shook my
outstretched hand that I was just about to return to my side.
"So what may I call you?" I asked making a lame attempt
at started a conversation. I really had to learn social skills again before I
left. No, answer, just staring as she sat on the floor by her
bed. She looked at me again…creepy.
"How old are you?" I tried to ask. She wasn’t even
looking at me anymore. I gave up…almost.
"Do you even speak?" I asked cautiously. At that she
looked straight at me and shook her head. No.