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| This Page will be filled with my poems when I get it started...til then, this is all |
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| Waiting Bullshit, I'm so fucking tired of it countless times I told myself to quit plenty of time to grow should have learned a long time ago why do I wait for you, why do I need Want what I can't have and why does it feed? But I need you to help me figure out what this shit called love is all about how much longer will this go on wishing i was here wishing i was gone nothing's gonna happen, something isnt right but until i have you, i'll keep up the fight i love you, dammit, why can't you see when you're with her, its killing me each time I see you it rips me inside I scream and run but I just cant hide why do i wait and build up this pain standing still gives me nothing to gain already have enough problems as it is fuck it, i sure as hell dont need this how much longer will this go on wishing i was here, wishing i was gone nothing's gonna happen, something isnt right but until i have you i'll keep up the fight |
| Hellplesssss (dedicated to ...ahem, Neal a long time ago) You dont understand me, I dont understand you shut down communication and wait for something true I feel so helpless and no one even cares guess i'll always have my dreams and keep on saying prayers |
| Me Inside (yes the title of the Slipknot song, I know...) me, I'm always cheerful and happy but yet so sad inside me, i'm doing better now but the pain just wont subside me, completely worry free, yet problems weigh on my mind me, totally cool and let loose but tied tighly in a knotted bind me, im proud of who i am and what i can call my own me, but you see, i'm trapped inside this thing i want to disown me, with all this ability to find the worst in it all me, the pessimist, the cynical view, alone i tend to withdraw me, with all these obligations to be the best at everyting me, i cant do it all, its so hard everyday just being me, i have so many friends "everyone loves you, you are accepted" me, so how come i'm paranoid and feel like im always rejected? me, its only low self esteem, the power of all these put downs me, it definatly more than that, self hatred is what i have found me, i am along with everyone else and people can often relate me, so much different from the others and not one can comisserate me, ive accomplished so many things, i'll make it big someday me, i've gained nothing great, i'm failing the growing up stage me, i just dont care that much, nothing's gonna slow me down me, i'm sorry, it wont happen again, i'll do better next time around me, i carry on as who i am despite what people can see me, i wish i could just be myself, i wish i could just be me |
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| Wish I Could Die I am cold and ugly, weary from the fight wish someone would help me, help me loose my life death so dark and intriuging, its hard to turn away i can hear no one behind begging me to stay i look to the sky and tears come pouring down wondering why nothings here, not a sight or sound i see life falling out of my reach, i cant control the pain pick up the gun, this shit is driving me insane i cant stand the rain, i cant stand the pain i cant stand this fucking noise thats rolling in my brain wish i could be fine, wish you could be mine wish that death was sweet and then i wonder why I wish that i could die |
| Words Cannot Explain ----yeah, just a poem now the many things i love about you words cannot explain youve saved me in so many ways, from all my fear and pain Constantly i think of you and thank the heavens above that we've found each other, someone i can finally love I dont know if you understand how much you mean to me all my life i've hoped and dreamed, but now its reality your voice and sweet smile never fail to make my heart soar when yuo hold me and kiss me it leaves me wanting more everytime you touch me i seem to loose control as your eyes lock with mine they penetrate my soul i'm glad ive waited this long and shared this time with you you've taught me so many things and always pull me through when im with you there's nowhere else that i would rather be i hope your always here to love and set me free theres absolutly nothing in the world i would ever trade for the future that we can have or the memories that weve made the feelings i have for you simply cant be contained because i love you so much that words cannot explain |
| Saturdays ----(this poem makes me vomit now) hold me in your arms just a little while longer dont wanna leave just yet 5 more minutes, a time we wont forget whispers in my ear, things only you and i share soft kisses in your hair, i cant help but smile quiet moments, shy glances, talk, laugh, kiss nothing in the world i would trade for this tracing fingers across my skin, show my all your love the way you touch me softly spreads the glow throughout my body encourage me to feel you too, just as you always do hold on tight and never let go close my eyes, sigh, loose control is it real? you kiss my head and say the words my ears, heart and soul love to hear time to go, look in my eyes, give me a kiss cant hardly wait for next saturday's bliss |
| Hurt (another excerpt from Helpless, to Neal) Torn from the storm and broken from the plight throw myself to misery, turn away from light go ahead and do it, rip my heart out of my chest i can take the shit no different from the rest holding my breath, i cant see what is real somebody save me from this feeling that i feel freezing with the ice, burning in the fire blackened from the hate fucking my desires |
| Me and My Kamel (HAHA, MIKE and MICHAEL here's you're favorite poem ya losers! lol) flick, inhale, puff, the beginning of several minutes in heaven the lighheadedness that comes from inhaling too fast all my problems of the day gives a calming effect to stress that seems to last simply seem to float away fuck surgeon general, what the hell does he know? gotta light? bum a smoke? hell no, r u broke? complicates the pregnancy as cancer begins to grow buy your own damn cigs, these are mine so what, dont care i can live with one lung need every millimeter of tobacco i can find and that heart failure wont be much fun quick, find a place to go, lets hide around back but as long as I got my kamel, i'll smoke it to the butt gottahave a cig or two, maybe half a pack runnin low, get more cigs, put that nicotine into my gut cool and soothing menthol, the peppermint aftertaste marlboro lights, weak, yet still make a place but my favorite of them all , is the warm kamel drawl buzzworthy, lung collapsing, yet still feels oh-so-good wonderful taste of tobacco just as it always should |
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