But Usually Makes Two

*****

“So that was a fun nervous breakdown,” Willow said, smiling through her drying tears.

Toby smiled back, handing her the glass of water which she had left nearby. “I find that they’re all fun, in their own way.”

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I just needed some time to think really.”

Toby cocked his head to the side and studied her face. After a moment she began to fidget, looking everywhere but back at his curious gaze. Finally he looked away, sighing.

“I need to get a few hours of sleep before I have to deal with this thing tomorrow. Will you be okay on the couch, or did you want me to get you a nice room nearby-”

“No!” Willow said, causing Toby to flinch with the force of her voice.

She instantly turned bright red, dropping her gaze and fidgeting even more.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, giving him a sheepish look as her face slowly returned to it’s normal pale blush.

Toby studied her for another long moment, before coming to some internal decision. He nodded once and stood up, looking around for her bags, which were still sitting across the room. He brought them over to the sofa and placed them next to Willow, who smiled gratefully.

“Make yourself at home.” he said, stroking her hair for a moment, before disappearing down the hall and into his bedroom.

As he turned out the hall light and shut the door, Willow couldn’t help the loud sigh of relief that escaped from her lips.

*****

Toby groaned as his alarm sounded a few hours later. He reached out and slammed his hand down on the snooze button, wishing for just ten more minutes of sleep before he had to deal with political maneuvering. He sighed and turned off the alarm, rolling out of bed, laughing to himself as he noticed that he was still wearing yesterday’s shirt.

After an extremely hot shower and an almost desperate search for something clean to wear, he wandered into the living room to check on his guest. He was surprised at how much relief he felt when he saw that she hadn’t run away in the dead of night.

Toby took a moment to study her sleeping form, noting that she still looked nervous, even in her sleep. His gaze wandered from her face down to the other end of the couch, where the blanket had fallen away and one pale thigh was barely visible in the darkness of the pre-dawn room.

Shaking his head, Toby grabbed his keys and silently fled from the apartment, surprised at how quickly she had gotten under his skin. He was certain he had been over her, and then here she comes, timidly but oh-so-swiflty invading his life all over again. He must have done something horrible in a past life, or possibly this one, to have a beautiful young girl moving into his living room. Sleeping temptation.

Suddenly Toby was feeling much better about all of the political maneuvering that would take up his entire day, keeping his mind distracted.

“Please let there be a war,” he muttered to himself as he headed to his car.

*****

Willow awoke feeling well-rested for the first time in what felt like years. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the bright room, surprised that she hadn’t woken in the middle of the night, like she had every night for the past few weeks. She sat up, stretching and cringing as she felt how sore her back was. Well, life couldn’t be perfect, after all.

Her curiousity immediately took hold as she took in all the details of the room around her. She had been so wired the night before, that she could barely remember the conversation, much less her surroundings. She wandered over to the bookshelves she had briefly perused, feeling only slightly guilty at exploring Toby’s apartment without his knowledge.

“He said to make myself at home,” she muttered, her hand gliding over the book titles.

Her natural suspicion after years as a Scooby took over, and she began to pull books out at random, flipping throught the pages before putting them back in their appropriate places. She didn’t have to be obvious about her investigation, after all. They seemed to be in random order, but she wasn’t going to take any chances by rearranging them.

Willow soon tired of the bookshelves, wandering around the rest of the apartment. It was smaller than she had imagined, but then again, how much money did a government employee make? She realized as she glanced around the small, clean kitchen, that she had no idea what Toby did before he worked for the president. In fact, she had no idea about his life. His life in a factual sense. She had a very good idea about the emotional aspects of his life.

The one thing she noticed about his apartment right off was the lack of personal details. There were books and comfortable looking furniture and a few small pictures on the walls, but the pictures were pretty generic. If she walked into this room with no knowledge of who lived here, judging by its contents, she would still have no idea.

Willow sighed and wandered down the short hall. The first room was the bathroom, which she noticed was actually quite large, and thankfully had a nice big tub in it. She would be sure to take advantage of that later. A long soak sounded like just the thing to relax her before she had to deal with Toby at the end of the day.

She looked over at the other door curiously. This must be the bedroom. The door was halfway open, and the room inside looked to be a bit of a mess, judging by the suit jacket at the foot of the bed, just visible from her spot by the bathroom.

Shrugging to herself and deciding that he would have shut the door if he wanted her to stay out, Willow entered the room.

It wasn’t as messy as she had assumed at first glance. The bed was unmade, and a few articles of clothing were lying around, but other than that it looked unused. Not as unused as the rest of the apartment, Willow noted as she looked at the pictures covering one bedside table.

There were six pictures in total, strategically placed so that someone lying on the bed could see them all at once. Toby and the president and a few other people in formal wear, Toby and two redheaded women, one his age and one who looked to be in her twenties, Toby and the president in what had to be the Oval Office, a younger Toby with the same pretty redheaded woman as before, both with small smiles on their faces, two small children, and Toby and a woman who had been in the large group photo.

“CJ,” Willow said to herself as she looked at this last picture, before her eyes went back to the picture of Toby and the woman who must have been his wife.

He looked so much happier in that photo. Not that he was smiling larger or anything that obvious. He was still the same Toby, but there seemed to be less of a weight on his shoulders. His eyes were smiling.

Willow couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on her face as she looked at the picture of the small children. It must be nice to have real family around. As much as she loved Giles and Xander and Buffy and Dawn, it just wasn’t the same as blood relatives. Not that she would know.

The smile left her face as quickly as it had come. She sat down on the bed, dropping her head into her hands, breathing deeply.

“What am I doing?” she thought to herself, “why am I running away from the only people who were ever family to me?”.

But she knew the answer, even if she didn’t want to admit it. They had been her family, but she needed a break. She needed to be on her own, to figure out who she was without Buffy around. She had never tried to be her own person, and now might not be the best time for it, but it was the time she had chosen. If she gave up now, she might never get the courage to try again.

“I can’t be a sidekick for the rest of my life,” she muttered, laying down on the bed, trying to clear her mind of the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her again.

Before long, she drifted off to sleep, feeling safe and warm, surrounded by the faint smell of Toby.