Chapter Nine: Goodbye Mexico

     Okay, so here's the thing.  I did what I had to do.  I know that in the beginning I started out as a super villain.  Okay, a regular villain- we all know that I'll never be larger than life, as it were.  Then I got trapped.  I was fighting for my survival when I should have been fighting for what was right, but I've never been one of Buffy's friends.  They fight for what's right every day without fail, and then here I come, thinking that I can just be evil in an unharmful way, and I end up indirectly causing one of the good guys to die and one of the good guys to be filled with so much anger that she turned bad.  Well, bad for the good guys, which kinda just meant killing other bad guys.  Vengeance is powerful, but I should have been stronger.  I know that now.  I probably knew that then, but I was caught up in trying to get back at everyone who had ever doubted me or put me down.  But now it's all in the past.  I'm not angry anymore.  I think enough time has passed that I just kinda feel grateful to even be a part of something so huge that almost no one else in the world knows about.  I mean, when you think about it, Andrew and I are pretty special.  We're two of like twenty people in the entire world who don't go around at night with blinders on.

     So after Buffy came back everyone was different.  Kinda antsy and depressed.  I guess a lot of stuff was going on with them, but being outside of their circle and having my own stuff to deal with, I never really found out too much.  The Trio decided to give Buffy some tests to see who could rattle her more.  I think I did the best job, but of course everyone wanted themselves to win.  So it ended up a tie.  Anyway, Warren did this cool thing where he made time kinda wonky for Buffy, but no one around her was affected.  It really freaked her out.  I did something kinda similar, but I think I drove her more insane.  Anyway, I did make her quit her job.  My thought was "what if you had to live the same ten minutes over and over again?"  You would freak out, right?  Well, she freaked out a little, but then she figured it out.  She's pretty smart that way.  Then lame-o Andrew just summoned these demons.  I mean, sure, he got her fired, but really, doesn't she fight demons like every day?  It kinda sucked.  But Warren awarded him a lot of points.  It should have been my first indication that I was still the outsider, but I was happy enough to ignore it all.

     So we continued to mess with Buffy when she got in the way. Well, at least, that's what Warren said. The first time we did it was because she was getting too close, being at the bank the same time we sent someone to rob it. What a weird coincidence. If we had known she was having money problems we probably would have robbed it after it was closed or something.

     Oh. Here's where things get really weird. Even for Sunnydale. So one day we're all sitting around in the lair watching tv, and Andrew busts out with a song all about how great he thinks Warren is. So I'm all "what the hell?", but then I start singing backup. It was so weird. I'm thinking spell, but rumor is it was a demon. All I know is I sang a total of eight times, and all of them were on key. It was kinda cool. Except for that guy who burst into flames while dancing to my seventh song. That was weird. And kinda smelly.

     Nothing quite as strange as that happened again, but I wouldn't have noticed because the stress levels were getting majorly high when I was around Warren, which was pretty much all the time. He decided that we had to stick close to the lair since Buffy was onto us. And then the thing with Katrina happened.

     I know that Katrina's death looks bad for me, but Buffy, if you're reading this, it wasn't my fault. Or Andrew's. But we were a part of something pretty bad involving her.

     We found a way to control people's minds and make them do whatever we wanted. Warren wanted to use it on Buffy to get her off our trail (or other reasons, but let's not contemplate), but he had to test it first. So he went out one night with us watching from a safe distance, and tested it. Unfortunately, he ran into Katrina and sorta lost it. He decided that he would just force her to do what he wanted. I think he was still in love with her and kinda pissed about how the whole April thing went down.

     So later on she snaps out of it long enough to realize what he's doing, then the device stops working, then Warren kinda flips. I'm sure it was an accident, I mean, I don't think Warren was evil yet, but he ended up killing Katrina. Andrew and I were kinda dazed, so we went along with his plan to get Buffy to think she'd done it.

     Of course, that wore off and Buffy knew it wasn't her fault, but by then the damage was done. I was trapped. It was hard, since they were the only people who had ever fully accepted me, and now I couldn't trust them. Andrew decided that getting away with murder was cool, and Warren decided he wouldn't let me out of his sight. Especially since we knew Buffy would come right for us, after the invisibility debacle that went on a few days earlier. Buffy knew who we were and that we were up to something, but she didn't know the extent of it. I don't think any of us did until we were right there in it.

     Then it all went to hell. Well, it was almost there already, but then Andrew and I got caught. Warren had decided I was getting in the way, so he planned for an escape route from a heist via jetpacks that only he and Andrew wore. Unfortunately for him, Andrew's jetpack malfunctioned. I wonder sometimes if Warren had something to do with that. I guess I'll never know now.

     So Andrew and I were arrested and Warren was on his own. I guess this is when he snapped, and well, you know, did all the things that he did right before Willow killed him.

You guys know the rest of the story, and I'm not even gonna try to defend myself about that part. I was fighting for my survival again by fleeing to Mexico, but now it's time to fight for my redemption.

     It's getting close. I think we'll have to leave tomorrow. I heard Andrew talking to Warren again last night, and it sounds like things are getting more serious. I'm scared that Andrew will listen too much to this imaginary Warren, but I have faith that things will turn out all right.

     In the end, the good guys always win and the bad guys are always redeemed. It all has to turn out okay.

     It has to, because if it doesn't.

     Well, let's not think about that. I'm gonna mail this to a safe place on the way back, so I know that it will get to Willow after I'm finished doing everything I have to do. I guess I'll be seeing everyone in a few days. It's gonna be hard, but I'll get through it.  I always do.

-Jonathan