Here's the best of the best - people's favorite lines for Young Hercules. If there's a few missing, e-mail me.
NEW! The Wisdom of Young Hercules, brought to you by Dearra.
  • "Gentlemen, and I use that term so very loosely...">>>Hercules
  • "First of all, Ewww!">>>Iolaus
  • "In your face, son of Zeus!">>>Lilith
  • "Party at my palace!">>>Jason
  • "Uh, something about your mommy.">>>Lucius
  • "It's not my fault, you're the one who challenged the satyr to the race.">>>Jason
    "Oh really, I think you're the one who told him I'd run through the town naked, huh? I'm never showing my face in Guilder again.">>>Hercules
    "It wasn't your face that was the problem.">>>Jason
  • "We're going to need the help of someone sneaky, someone underhanded, someone conniving....">>>Hercules
    "I'll take that as a compliment.">>>Iolaus
  • "I guess I'll just have to build it up.">>>Kora
  • "Jason, I need the eye, okay?">>>Hercules
  • "I am the master.">>>Iolaus
  • "Is it hot in here or is it just me? It's just me.">>>Hercules
  • "Ahh! Help, Mama.. Mama!">>>Ares
  • "Go buy your dog a cat.">>>Iolaus
  • "You're forgetting something Ares. A little something called inner strength.">>>Hercules
  • "You fell for the dummy, dummy.">>>Hercules
  • "Business before pleasure, handsome.">>>Lady at side of the road
  • "You're going away for a long, long time.">>>Jason
  • "First my mother, now my friends. Stop hurting the people I care about.">>>Hercules
  • "Nothing's wrong, except I'm not your mother.">>>Evil Hercules
  • "You could save him but you so want to finish me.">>>Lucious
  • "Get back here and fight like a man.">>>Hercules
  • "She can still be happy because that little thief stole my money!">>>Iolaus
  • "Easy. Back off big fella.">>>Jason
  • "Yeah, but the other part of me could be a complete and total sissy chicken.">>>Hercules
  • "Did you mean to do that?">>>Pythagoras
    "Did you mean to wear that?">>>Hercules
  • "Nooooo!!">>>Ares
    "Yessss!!">>>Hercules
  • "You wanna know what really scares me? Ticking off Cheiron.">>>Hercules
  • "I can see it now. It's never gonna work.">>>Hercules
  • "Stick a sandal in it Ares.">>>Hercules
  • "You touched my pig! You totally touched my pig! It is so on!">>>Iolaus
  • "Let's do it.">>>Hercules
  • "Whoo! You're not having a good time.">>>Hercules
  • "I'm going to set the world on fire.">>>Hercules
  • "Uh, plan..... no.">>>Jason
  • "Get a haircut!">>>Zylus
  • "It's a money melon!">>>Jason
  • "She totally slammed the windows on us!">>>Iolaus
    "I know. I was standing right here.">>>Jason
  • "Something goes wrong, Iolaus is responsible.">>>Jason
  • "Child's play.. good choice of words.">>>Kora
  • "Three young men left in charge of an inn. A formula for fun, or a recipe for disaster? A comedy in the making, or a tragedy waiting to happen?">>>Strife in a Twilight Zone-y voice.
  • "Is he in with the inn crowd or what?">>>Strife
  • "Half of them aren't even satyrs. Groupies. Satyr wannabies!">>>Strife
  • "You wanna get me out of here? I think I'm sitting on a pineapple.">>>Iolaus
  • "Hey! Hey! Don't you break that bread.">>>Hercules
  • "He threw a fig vendor at me!">>>Iolaus
  • "This town has really gone to the dogs.">>>Iolaus
  • "You are lower than something really low.">>>Hercules
  • "Smells like trouble.">>>Iolaus
    "Iolaus!">>>Hercules
    "Oh c'mon. I've always wanted to say that.">>>Iolaus
  • "You want me to go mushroom picking to build character?">>>Lilith
  • "I never threw parties. I just crashed them.">>>Iolaus
  • "We gotta stop them from using the ah-">>>Hercules
    "The uh..">>>Iolaus
    "The bang-bangs!">>>Hercules and Iolaus
  • "Amazons. What's up with them?">>>Hercules and Iolaus
  • "No one told you to challenge those satyrs to a sausage eating contest.">>>Hercules to Iolaus
  • "Bow down to the master.">>>Iolaus
  • "It's all because of Miss Snooty Two Shoes Mila.">>>Strife
  • "I get it... you're not really a god!">>>Strife
  • "If you ever feel the need to do some Amazon bonding, you know where to find me.">>>Iolaus
  • "I'm a producer. I'm looking for some fresh talent.">>>Iolaus
  • "How would you feel if three mortals were on your turf? Well two and a half.">>>Apollo
  • "Time to put you out of my misery.">>>Apollo
  • "Hey you think Cyane will bring her friend? We could double-date.">>>Iolaus
  • "It takes two to fight, as I understand it.">>>Pythagoras
  • "Oh, that's gotta hurt.">>>Ares
  • "Chicks always dig guys with horns.">>>Iolaus
  • "Good night John Boy.">>>Ares
  • "May the horse be with you.">>>Strife
  • "Zeus... kitchen duty. Hera... the garden. And try to cheer up a little.">>>Strife
  • "This is us leaving.">>>Hercules and Iolaus
  • "Some nightmares have all the fun.">>>Ares
  • "Let's exercise, huh?">>>Jason
  • "Stick to your swords God of War. Leave the dreams to me.">>>Morpheus
  • The tree gag is a big favorite, but I'm gonna have to get a wav of that.

Got a quote you don't see here? E-mail me and I'll add it.
All of these quotes were sent to me. If you wanna know where they're from, I can try to help you, but I don't remember all of them.

THE WISDOM OF YOUNG HERCULES


The following bits of advice were sent to me by Dearra, she compiled them and they are her property.. of sorts. If you'd like your own copy, e-mail her and ask politely.
  • Never trust a big, red guy with horns just because he happens to be your half-brother.
  • Sometimes friends are closer than family can ever be.
  • If a girl doesn�t like you, she doesn�t like you.
  • Never steal anything, especially if it belongs to your stepmother who hates you and is Queen of the gods.
  • Don�t mess around with the fire that�s meant to change the hearts of gods.
  • Violence should be a last resort.
  • Running away from your problems won�t solve anything.
  • If Bacchae show up at a party, it�s time to leave.
  • If a baby Basilisk spits up on you, find some water.
  • If an adult Basilisk opens it�s mouth, move.
  • Don�t hunt peacocks in Hera�s Valley.
  • Hunting Artemis� sacred golden hind is not a bright idea.
  • It�s okay to beat a lesser god that thinks they�re better than you, even if you�re only a half-god.
  • Selfish desires sometimes mask themselves as good intentions.
  • Choose your battles wisely.
  • Fight to defend yourself and others, not for the heck of it.
  • Don�t ask the Huntress for affection; you won�t find it.
  • Stay away from deserts infested with sand sharks.
  • You just might find an old friend at a freak show; they�re not always fake.
  • A phoenix isn�t the kind of bird you wanna mess with.
  • Don�t swim to the Underworld unless you�ve got relatives down there, or if you�re dead.
  • Never mispronounce Charon�s name.
  • Embrace your greatest fear.
  • If your older brother is the God of War and he hates you, try not to make him mad.
  • And if you do, hope you still have your father�s protection order.
  • We all have a dark side.
  • Never let it control you.
  • If one of your best friends is royalty, know when to drop names. It could come in handy.
  • If you�re a male and value your life, don�t touch the Huntress.
  • If you see a white stream of light shooting out of someones hand at you, move. Fast.
  • Respect your elders; they just might know what they�re talking about.
  • Value the family and friends that love you as much as you value your own life.
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