�I�m sorry, but it seems that my wife has a flu and won�t be able to cook dinner for us tonight.� The old man apologized.

Tsuzuki pouted, looking like he was about to cry. His landlady was a rather good cook, and thanks to the arrangement, had cooked for the three of them for the past few years. It was then that he got an idea.

�I know!� He exclaimed happily. �Let me cook for you! I can make curry, and yakisoba and-� He rambled on excitedly. �It'll be fun! And you can keep the leftovers, and maybe she�ll get better from eating them!�

It was the fact that Tsuzuki had never cooked for them before that the old man didn�t immediately refuse. Instead he was already imagining the delicious meal that he would be eating despite the fact that the resident cook was sick. �Are you sure you�re okay with that?� The old man questioned out of politeness. �The arrangement with Tatsumi-� At Tsuzuki�s over eager nod, the old man immediately latched onto the idea. �Good! When can I expect you to come over?�

�I just have to do reports today at work . . .� Tsuzuki began. He figured he might be able to leave about an hour early and arrive home before rush hour. Of course, if Tatsumi found out about his plans . . .

�Oh, and could you be so kind as to pick up the supplies?� The old man asked grinning. If he happened to �forget� to give Tsuzuki money for them, he could have a free meal!

�Oh, yes!� Tsuzuki almost squealed. �Then, if you like my cooking, we can eat it every night!�

***

Tsuzuki tried to fight past a mob to get into the store. If the miser hadn�t kept him after for an extra half-hour doing reports, he might have actually made it before the workday ended. As it turned out, Tatsumi thought that Tsuzuki was shirking his responsibilities, (which he was) and spent the last hour making sure Tsuzuki finished the last report. Then, he demanded Tsuzuki stay after while he finished with his.

When he finally managed to slide around a vending machine and go through the doors, he found himself in a dankly lit room. The store he currently occupied was the third one he had visited in the last hour. He vaguely wondered why the most common beer that he drank was in none of the other stores.

He found his liquor wedged between a bottle of Diet Coke and another bottle of Bubble Gum flavored Orange Juice.

�Uh, sir, I need to see some ID.� The clerk said in a monotone voice.

Tsuzuki spent the next few moments gaping. He had simply never been carded in the 100 or so years he had been alive.

He searched his pockets, and when he failed to find the plastic piece, he started empting them on the counter. Soon, a piece of yesterday�s cake, Maria Wong�s Stepmother�s cell phone, a lock of hair that resembled Hijiri�s, a bottle of aspirin Abiko Tetsuhiro had given Tsuzuki to �remember him with�, plus thousands of ofuda charms littered the counter. There was no ID card among them.

It was then that Tsuzuki remembered that because he was dead, he had no ID in the human world.

�Please don�t card me!� Tsuzuki pleaded. �I really am over eighteen!� He tried to blink charmingly.

�Limit�s twenty-one.� The clerk replied, not seeming to notice the debris that littered the counter before him.

�I�m older than that too!� Tsuzuki promised.

�No ID, no service.� The clerk replied. �In fact, I don�t think you should be here if you�re younger than twenty-one.�

�What do you mean? And I�m older than that!�

�This is a liquor store.� The clerk told him, starring through him.

Tsuzuki was about to protest, when he noticed something odd. �But you can�t be twenty-one yourself!� He exclaimed. �How can you work here? In fact, you look like a high school student!�

�I work here, I don�t shop here.� The clerk blinked sleepily. �Well, my mom does take advantage of the employee discount in the movie section.�

�Movie section?� Tsuzuki gaped. �This is a liquor store! It can�t have a movie section.� The clerk shrugged and pointed at the black curtains by the cough syrup. Tsuzuki left defeated.

Tsuzuki soon found himself struggling back around the vending machine. He was convinced that the person who named it rush hour was just trying to reassure people that it would be over with in an hour.

It was then that Tsuzuki looked, and realized that the beer in the vending machine before him was cheaper the store�s. He looked from it to the store and shrugged, putting in a 100-yen coin. The vending machine chose that time to go out of order.

Because the population of Tokyo had grown accustomed to strange monsters appearing, and other such things, no one even turned their head at the man who was screaming and crying in front of a beer vending machine out side the liquor store.

***

�You�re a little late.� The old man observed. As it was now midnight, Tsuzuki was indeed a little late. However, despite the hour, the prospect of food had given the two men energy to stay awake.

As he cooked, Tsuzuki hummed a song until the old man quietly asked him to at least not sing off-key. When everything (including the many bags the food came in) was in the oven, both men stared across from each other with surprisingly nothing to say.

The old man didn�t want his tenant to know about his lecherous activities, and Tsuzuki wasn�t authorized to tell his landlord about his post-life job. Still, Tsuzuki couldn�t help but try to initiate a conversation.

�Uh, so,� He began. �What did you do today?� He asked. The old man jumped up, knocking his cushion over.

He had the look of a fugitive. �Nothing!� He looked around wildly before sitting back down. �Well, what did you do?� He asked trying to calm down.

Tsuzuki flinched at the question. �I also did nothing.� The men looked across the table at each other and nodded in understanding.

When the food was out of the oven, Tsuzuki put it in a bowl and set it on the table. A mouth-watering aroma wafted out through the small room, and the old man inhaled appreciatively. �This looks wonderful!� He exclaimed. �Itadakimasu!�

Tsuzuki echoed him, and they both ladled the food on the plates. The old man shoveled the food in his mouth, and chewed.

It was about this time that the horrible taste of the food set in, and the old man screamed, spitting out his mouthful.

***

�Are you okay?� Tsuzuki asked worriedly. The old man was too busy gagging out the food to bother replying. �Oh, I know! I need to let it cool!� Tsuzuki exclaimed. �You burnt your mouth, didn�t you?� He sighed in understanding. �Don�t worry, as soon as it cools, it will be better.�

The old man didn�t believe him. It was impossible to make something that smelt so good taste so horrible. He tried to relate it to the experience he had in college when he had to eat dog food and mothballs in coleslaw, but that was a seasoned meal compared to this monstrosity. He truthfully didn�t want to wait for it to cool down. �Where did you get the food for this?� He demanded while retching.

�Oh, the vending machines had most of it. But I did have some seaweed from my thirtieth birthday that I added.� Tsuzuki replied happily.

�Uh . . .� The old man thought fast. Really. �Why don�t I take this food and . . . and . . .�

�And?� Tsuzuki asked innocently.

�Uh . . .� The old man continued, the epitome of smoothness. �Take it to . . . my . . . wife! I�m sure she would love to have some!� He said, hoping that he managed to cover for himself.

Tsuzuki blinked, considering this. �Oh, how nice of you! I hope she doesn�t feel too threatened by my cooking skills.�

The old man smiled benignly, thinking that his poor sick wife wouldn�t be near such an atrocity. He grabbed the bowl, Tsuzuki�s plate as well as his, and ran out of the room.

�Isn�t her bedroom that way?� Tsuzuki called after him. Running to the rooms his tenant used, the old man didn�t have time to waste on a lie. Finding Tsuzuki�s toilet a relatively safe place, he flushed the food down the drain. The dishes themselves were tossed out the window, breaking first the window glass, and then shattering on the pavement below.

He wondered if he would get the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the world from Tsuzuki�s dinner.

***

Positive that his landlord was a lunatic, Tsuzuki went to bed late with no dinner. Every once in a while he would whimper in his sleep from hunger. Positive that his tenant wasn't exactly human, the old man woke up his sick wife and told her the good news. He was promptly pummeled for flushing everything down their tenant�s toilet.

Neither man noticed that the bug-infested toilet had an eerie glow to it. Slowly, a long tentacle slid out of the bowl and wrapped around a cockroach, pulling it back down.

***

�Tsuzuki, come here.� Tsuzuki froze halfway out the door before turning around and walking back to the office.

�Yes?� He asked timidly of the office chief. If Konoe noticed Tsuzuki�s demeanor, he didn�t show it as he handed Tsuzuki a file.

�There�s some strange activity at your apartment. Apparently, there is a concoction that can open a portal to the demon world. It is your duty to clean it up.�

Tsuzuki blinked in surprise. �But my landlords wouldn�t open a portal to the demon world!� He protested.

The chief didn�t look happy. Then again, he never looked happy, so nothing was new.

�It was made approximately last night. Did you notice any unusual activities?� Konoe wished he could retract that statement. Tsuzuki would have been asleep in a drunken stupor by then.

�No, all I did was cook dinner at around that time.� At first the chief wondered what Tsuzuki was doing cooking at such an ungodly hour. Then the rest of the statement settled in.

�You. Were. Cooking?� The chief asked in disbelief. Then he smiled. �I think we�ve got this nailed on the head then.�

Tsuzuki blinked confusedly at the older man�s euphemism. �You think that someone made a portal, and ate my cooking?� He asked innocently.

To the thought of actually eating Tsuzuki�s cooking, Konoe turned green. Trying to keep his composure, he focused on the matter at hand. �Just clean up the mess. This concoction is weak, and only tomorrow will the conditions be right for the portal to open.� Tsuzuki nodded in understanding.

�Okay, I�ll be right on it!� He said cheerfully. Now all he had to do was locate it in his apartment. How hard could that be?

Konoe left soon after, leaving the office in darkness. A few minutes later, a door opened, and a Gushoushin fluttered in, picking up some overdue books the chief had left in his office. The Gushoushin was about to leave when he noticed the calendar. Shaking his head, he set his books down and fluttered over to it. The chief had one of those calendars where at the morning you peel off the top paper, and it shows the date.

The Gushoushin made a clucking sound that, surprisingly or not, sounded like a chicken, as he peeled off the top paper. It seemed the chief had forgotten to do so that morning.

***

Tsuzuki thought his room seemed a little dark. Then again, his bedroom window, which was his main light source, was boarded up. It probably would look the same way if there wasn�t a demon portal in his rooms.

When the arrangement between Tatsumi and his landowners had been made, he had no idea what he had been getting into. He should have known not to let a miser choose his rooms for him. Of course Tatsumi had gotten the cheapest rooms humanely possible.

These rooms consisted of a 1x2 m bedroom and a 1x1 m bathroom. His futon comprised most of the floor, leaving a small gap at the end where there was a pile of clothes, which Tsuzuki wasn�t sure was clean. Kazusa�s toys were sprawled halfway up his futon, which was the only place they would fit. The only window was literally a hole in the wall that he had created when he had �accidentally� booted Watson out.

At the pillow end of the futon was a small closet like door, which led to the bathroom. Now, the word bathroom is applied loosely here. The toilet took up the entire space, with a rope that you would have to pull to flush. If one were to go in this room, one would have to stand upon the toilet to close the door. The bathroom window was as long as the wall, so if Tsuzuki actually used it he would end up flashing the neighborhood. (Then again, several people wouldn�t mind that.) Inside the toilet bowl, cockroaches and spiders were dueling it out over space and food for their nests. Even though the landlords had tried on several occasions to use Spiders-be-gone and Roach-a-cide, it seemed to only cause both populations to grow.

So, for obvious reasons, Tsuzuki used the bathhouses and office restrooms.

Tsuzuki frowned as he proceeded to search for the portal. There weren�t many places it could be. After shuffling around in his clothes pile, Tsuzuki felt along his futon, and lifted his pillow. Nothing. He checked the ceiling and behind one of the rotted boards covering the �window�. Still nothing. Tsuzuki checked under the futon, the toys, and along the side of the room. After he had checked every possible part of the bedroom, he turned towards the ominous door.

He took a few breaths and held up a shirt to his face. Tsuzuki had a pretty good idea what it smelt like from when Watari had gotten drunk and threw up in the only drain available. The odor was bad enough to make Tsuzuki join Watari, which made things worse, because he saw what was in the drain.

The afternoon light lit up the room, so he didn�t need a flashlight. The wadded up shirt blocked the majority of the smell, but it was already turning a greenish color. The bathroom looked a lot like it did the last time he saw it. The toilet looked like a birdbath; it took up the majority of the room, a rope hung from the ceiling, and there still was the war between the cockroaches and spiders. Yes, it would have been normal if there weren�t several tentacles snatching the bugs and pulling them down.

Those tentacles froze when the door opened, and released their squirming victims so they could launch strait towards the intruder.

Tsuzuki threw his shirt at the tentacles, slammed the door closed, and backed off crab-wise. Then he ran into the hallway, grabbing the file as he passed it, desperately pulling out an ofuda. The demon�s tentacles burst through the door, and one buried into his mouth.

As Tsuzuki gagged around the tentacle, the ofuda floated to the floor and gave a sudden burst of light. The demon had retracted its tentacle, and Tsuzuki was left alone in the hallway.

He ran back in and went to the ruined doorway of the bathroom. The toilet stood out like a demonic shrine, only there were no tentacles in or around it. Now Tsuzuki simply couldn�t get to the demon. Closing the door, he retreated towards the file.

***

The first paper of the file had in big, scrawled handwriting that was undeniably the chief�s, �You�d better not wait for this! If you do, then you aren�t getting paid.� The second was emergency measures for �If You Procrastinate'.

1. You will need to find a person who can seal demon portals

2. You will need to find the demon�s lair.

3. You will need to have that person seal the portal.

4. You will need to summon a shikigami to destroy any demons that have crossed the portal.

Tsuzuki wondered if the people of his division had a thing for pointing out the obvious. However, at the bottom of the paper was an address of a person who could seal demon portals. The next paper had specifications for the spell to seal the portal.

He skimmed it quickly and then reread it as a certain ingredient came up. �Where am I supposed to find Bubble Gum flavored Orange Juice?�

***

An hour later, Tsuzuki walked along houses that were too rich for their own good. He passed one that was made of gold, and had some old guy outside wearing only his boxers and lots of gold jewelry. Another house was made of quartz and had a woman with a red face hurriedly changing while servants held up sheets around her. It didn�t take a genius to realize that the person he was looking for was living in a weird section of Tokyo.

When he reached the corner of one of the streets, Tsuzuki held up the address and a map to the fading light. He squinted and tried to locate where he was. Unfortunately, our dear purple-eyed shinigami was lost. He had been wandering around this part of Tokyo for the better part of an hour, and he was no closer to finding the demonologist than he was when he had started. He briefly entertained the idea of going up to one of the houses and asking for directions, but a quick glance at the quartz house with the woman (now fully clothed) changed his mind.

He went down one street and up another. The place looked eerily similar to the street he had just left; only there weren�t quartz houses any more. He turned off that street and went across another, comparing addresses again with that of his paper.

At the street corner, Tsuzuki slumped against a sign. His stomach growled mournfully at him as he regretted eating only a light dinner before going on his search. He was lost, hungry, and even if he teleported back to the Meifu, his toilet was still had a demon living in it.

The wind started blowing, and Tsuzuki huddled against the pole to try to conserve heat. Unfortunately, the file slipped out of his cold hand and fluttered away. Tsuzuki jumped up and braving the cold, ran after it. It led him across the street before fluttering up into someone�s face, completely obscuring his or her features.

Tsuzuki made it halfway across the street before he froze cold in the center. Only one person wore those clothes, and unless he was also a fashion model . . .

Irritably a white hand snatched the offending paper off its face, and a cold gaze slid across the paper to Tsuzuki. Bloodless lips twisted into a semblance of a smile that was far too predatory to give Tsuzuki any comfort.

�Tsuzuki-san.� Tsuzuki twitched at the sound of his name coming from the figure before him. �What brings you here?� Muraki regarded Tsuzuki intently, oblivious to the latter�s discomfort.

Tsuzuki himself took a step back, and started to turn before he remembered that he really needed his file back. He was torn between going near Muraki, and returning back to his demon habituated rooms.

Muraki didn�t pass up the chance to read the file. Raising his eyebrow at the message to Tsuzuki, he flipped through, reading the instructions for stopping the demon, and looking interested at the spell components list.

Tsuzuki remained in his internal struggle. Should he go demand his paper back, or run away to his apartment and try to figure out how to stop the demon there? His struggle came to a crashing halt when a car swerved and nearly hit him, the driver flipping him off as he drove past. He circled to the sidewalk, keeping his distance, watching his files and, more importantly, Muraki.

Once he made it to the sidewalk, Muraki strode towards Tsuzuki with a slow purposeful gait until he reached a distance at which Tsuzuki started backing off. He held out the files at arm�s length, waiting with a slight smile.

Tsuzuki warily edged near him, and lunged towards the hand. Muraki jerked the files back; leaving Tsuzuki sprawled on his face, not a foot away. The former crouched near the latter and reached out to stroke his hair.

�Am I correct in thinking that you are looking for the owner of this address?� He asked. Tsuzuki jerked away from his hand, glaring at him. �I can take you to the owner�s house.� Muraki offered while he got up.

Tsuzuki shook his head; shaking it so hard his hair flew around him. Muraki only smiled at him. �Are you sure?� With out waiting for an answer, the doctor turned and started walking away. Tsuzuki watched him; his face going red when he realized Muraki was swaying his hips. He reluctantly followed the doctor, certain to keep his distance.

When the two arrived at a house that had vines growing over it, Muraki brushed aside the leaves to reveal a number and strode through the garden to the house. Not once did he look back. Tsuzuki was flabbergasted when he realized that Muraki had indeed brought him to the right address. Dread curled in his stomach when he noticed that Muraki was entering the house as if he lived there.

Tsuzuki hurried to the door, stopping at the threshold. Muraki waited for him just inside, still smiling. Taking as deep a breath as he dared, Tsuzuki entered the building, and the door swung shut behind him.

Tsuzuki jumped as an old man brushed past him to the kitchen, but he didn't dare to take his eyes off Muraki. The other man still smiled and held out house shoes, which Tsuzuki reluctantly accepted. While Muraki waited, Tsuzuki changed his shoes, and then followed Muraki deeper in the house.

The furnishings were surprisingly western and spacious. The wooden floor boards creaked a little as Tsuzuki edged past them, but not as much as when Muraki had. When they arrived in a room with western couches and a coffee table, Muraki finally halted and turned. His smile had neither disappeared nor receded since they�d met on the street.

"Do sit. Discussions like this take long, and you seem tired." Not moving his gaze from Muraki, he moved so the coffee table was between them before sitting. Muraki accepted his position, sitting opposite of Tsuzuki. "May I offer you refreshments? From the urgency of this file," He hefted the forgotten file still in his hand, "I would assume you haven't had a chance to eat."

Tsuzuki's hunger had disappeared the moment he met the doctor on the street. "What are you playing at?" He asked Muraki, ignoring the question. "Why are you helping me?"

Muraki regarded him with an amused expression. "Surely you can guess by now." He flipped through the file again. "Am I correct in the assumption that you need someone to seal the portal? Is that why you will be distracting the demon while someone does so?" His gaze returned to Tsuzuki's. "Unfortunately, there seems to be only one person who can seal this portal near here."

Tsuzuki felt his muscles go rigid as he realized what Muraki was getting at. "I can do it my self." He said through gritted teeth.

"So you will risk your life and that of those around you simply because you refuse to trust me?" Muraki asked sadly.

Tsuzuki stopped halfway standing, to watch Muraki with a horrified expression. Slowly, he sat down again, and waited. Muraki didn't say anything, watching him for his decision. Tsuzuki took several breaths before he could speak again. "Okay, we will work together on this assignment. Then you will leave me alone." He desperately delivered his ultimatum.

Muraki sighed and shifted in his seated position. "Oh dear, you really don't understand, do you?" He raised his eyebrow at Tsuzuki's confused expression before continuing. "You need my services for this. However, I am under no obligation to help you." It was Muraki who stood this time, and sauntered over to Tsuzuki. "If I were to assist you, what would I get in return?" He reached out a gloved hand and slid his fingers along Tsuzuki's jaw line.

Tsuzuki snapped his head back as he jerked away. Muraki chuckled low and deep in his throat, moving to follow Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki fell off the couch and scrambled to the wall to get at the window. But Muraki was already behind him and slid a hand on his shoulder.

�Tsuzuki-san,� He purred into Tsuzuki�s ear. Tsuzuki tried to shake the hand off as he opened the window. �Don�t worry, I won�t hurt you.� The lips brushed against his ear in promise of things to come. Tsuzuki managed to get one leg halfway out the window before both of Muraki�s hands clamped around his arm, restraining him. �Here, a compromise. I�ll help you by sealing the portal while you destroy any demons lurking around. In return,� Those hands gently tugged, and Tsuzuki was forced away from the window. �You will need to spend a day with me.� One of the hands released his arm, only to creep around him in an awkward embrace. �You�re not required to do any nightly activities with me . . . unless you change your mind, of course.� The low chuckle from behind Tsuzuki�s ear sent shivers down his spine. �Do you agree with this?�

Tsuzuki felt his body convulse with fear at the prospect, but the tentacles crept back into his mind. If he refused Muraki, then he wouldn�t be able to seal the portal and keep off the demon both at once. If he agreed, then spending a day with a psycho doctor . . . He ran over the options again in his mind, trying to ignore the fact that a certain psycho doctor was currently nuzzling the hair at the back of his neck.

�It�s only a day.� He told him self. �Nothing more than a date, like what I�ve done before. Besides my company, nothing more is required.� He sighed as he reached his decision, irritably yanking a hand out from under his shirt.

�Okay.�

***

�Where are you taking me?� Somehow, Tsuzuki had the idea that Muraki really didn�t care about the answer. It was probably because, once again, a foreign hand was going up his shirt.

�We are trying to find the supplies you need to seal the portal.� Tsuzuki stressed again, mentally panicking as he tried once again to stop the other hand from playing suggestively with his shirt buttons. When they finally reached their destination Tsuzuki stopped before the store with pride. �Here we are!�

Muraki was too shocked to continue feeling Tsuzuki up. He stared at the offending store in shock before he was able to find his voice again. �Tsuzuki-san, why are we in front of a liquor store?�

�Last time I was here, it had most of the components that was in that list.� Tsuzuki replied happily, whether it was because they were one step closer to making his rooms inhabitable or the fact that in his shock, Muraki�s hands had slipped out from under his shirt, no one knew.

Tsuzuki was relieved that Muraki paid for the items, as he was broke from yesterday�s shopping excursion. As they exited the store, both weighed down by the bags, Muraki finally seemed to take an interest in the assignment.

�Where exactly is the portal?� He asked, looking straight ahead. Grateful that he was no longer the subject of Muraki�s attentions, Tsuzuki told him.

�When I checked the apartment the readings came from,� Tsuzuki was not about to tell Muraki that he lived there, �The demon attacked me through the plumbing.� At Muraki�s sidelong glace Tsuzuki continued. �Through the toilet, actually.�

Instead of laughing, the silver haired man only looked thoughtful. �That means that the portal must be in the septic tank. It seems that you will have to attack the demon first, and when it is distracted, I will seal the portal.�

By then they had reached Tsuzuki�s apartments. They stopped across the street and unloaded their bags. Muraki sent a disapproving look at the building, but managed to say nothing.

�I�ll be ready soon. Until then, I suggest you start distracting the demon.� Muraki gave Tsuzuki an intense look. �A kiss for good luck?� he asked. It was those words that spurred Tsuzuki into running across the street and into the building with Muraki�s laughter echoing behind him.

***

Tsuzuki had an ofuda ready as he crept through his landlord�s house, avoiding all the creaking floorboards.

He had plenty of experience doing this drunk, after spending half his payday check on a drunken splurge; he would come home well past midnight and would get yelled at if he woke up his landlady. So, sober, he was even better at this quiet sneaking. And quiet he would have to be if he wanted to take the demon by surprise.

He slid across the wall opposite his room until he came to his half-open doorway. The light that was in his room cast the broken shoji door in an ominous shade. Taking a deep breath, Tsuzuki burst through the doorway, ofuda held aloft, and a chant to summon Suzaku on the tip of his tongue. Only, the last thing he expected happened.

The demon wasn�t there.

After looking around his rumpled futon, clothes, and Kazusa�s stuffed toys, he ascertained that the demon wasn�t hiding. The light that he had thought the demon caused was actually the light from his bathroom window. As he had never had the bathroom door open to know that the setting sun reflected light through his bathroom, his assumption was reasonably founded.

He edged in the room and glanced in the toilet. One thing good that would come out of this was that the population of bugs had significantly decreased. Now there was only one spider nest and three cockroaches, both species huddling in fear.

As there wasn�t much else to do, Tsuzuki stood on the toilet and tried to look out the broken window to follow the pipes. It was then that dread took hold of him.

If Muraki started sealing the demon portal while the demon was still there, then the demon would invariably attack him. Although Tsuzuki wasn�t all that opposed to Muraki�s demise, he still needed Muraki to seal the gate. And, Tsuzuki reluctantly admitted to himself, although he hated Muraki, he wouldn�t be able to stand the guilt of knowing that he had led Muraki to his death.

Tsuzuki jumped off the toilet and into the room, intending to warn Muraki, when something slick and wet wrapped around his throat and pulled back. The ground below him erupted as more tentacles wrapped around him and dragged him under the house. It was about that time that Tsuzuki remembered that he had shut the bathroom door.

***

When he came to, the smell was the first thing that hit him. It was a horrible, decaying stench that filled his nostrils like the tentacles that restrained him. Tsuzuki warily opened one eye and decided that he had liked it better when he was unconscious.

He was suspended over the bottom of a surprisingly clean septic tank. The tentacles that wrapped around him kept him eagle spread, and from escaping. He was able to see this because a large white portal dimly lit the tank.

However, the faint shafts of light also allowed him to see his captor. It looked a lot like a bunch of coiled tentacles that paled until at the ends were white. Seeing that its captive was awake, the demon started to shift excitedly, the muck with it, until it was at the point that it sloshed against his calves.

�You�ve awoken!� The intruding thought exploded in his head. �The one who had dared to attack Saagatanas!� The demon stopped moving, and a tentacle slid over to the portal. �I shall give you to Ashitarote-sama. If I prove that I have defeated you, he will name me Ryuuki Division Brigade Commander in Saagatanus�s place.� The tentacle slid in the portal, and the ones that restrained Tsuzuki started to follow. �Then it shall be me, and not a stupid human such as yourself that will have the power!� Dark laughter cut through Tsuzuki�s mind. He opened his mouth to protest.

�I don�t care about your demon hierarchy. If you want the position, go to Ashitarote himself and demand it. Just leave me alone.� He struggled against the tentacles as they drifted even closer to the portal. �You have a few seconds until the portal closes. Go back to the demon world, don�t come back, and I won�t destroy you.�

�You think that the white one will seal the portal?� The voice had tones of amusement in it.

�Why wouldn�t he?� Tsuzuki demanded.

If it were possible, the demon would have smiled. But because it didn�t have a mouth, it didn�t. �He has all the reason to help us, and none to help you. Why would he choose you over his allies?� The demon asked. �Besides, hasn�t he had more than enough time to complete his spell?�

That, Tsuzuki realized, was true. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious, but he had been in the apartment for a good five minutes before he had fallen in the demon�s trap. Muraki should have been able to start sealing the portal before now.

The demon chuckled in his mind again. �Shall I give you to him as a gift?� It asked happily. �I�m sure Ashitarote-sama will let me have you. And the white one may prove useful in the future.� Tsuzuki shuddered at the mental images of being a gift to Muraki. The demon paused, holding him inches from the portal.

�You are pretty, for a human.� It commented a tentacle started sliding under his shirt. With a jerk, it was ripped open; buttons were torn from their places to strike against the bottom of the tank. �Perhaps I�ll keep you as a plaything for myself. Shall I seal you in crystal so I can look at your pretty eyes whenever it pleases me?� The demon asked.

Suddenly a layer of lines appeared around the portal. The portal reacted by shuddering visibly, and the light dimmed before going black, leaving parts of the demon detached from the ones already through the portal. The demon let out a piercing scream, which left Tsuzuki�s head ringing for a few moments.

Tsuzuki didn�t know whether to be grateful or fearful. Muraki had carried through on his promise.

***

Muraki stood outside the apartment Tsuzuki had disappeared into. At first, he had thought that Tsuzuki had left him there, returning to the safe arms of his companions. Because a mental scream sounded when he had finished his spell, he threw his hypothesis out the window.

Tsuzuki might have been a person who would leave him standing alone after he was done with a case. It didn�t help his ego to be left with the tenets of the apartment building. They had noticed that their building had problems, and as it was a common occurrence, evacuated to across the street. Narrowing his one visible eye, Muraki strode through the door that Tsuzuki had earlier entered the building through.

Of course it would have to be on the top floor. Muraki kept calm as he strode up the stairs and through the open door at the top.

When he came to an area, which had a scent that reminded him of Tsuzuki, he paused before going in. The first thing he noticed was a large gaping hole, and bits of the wall missing. Looking down, he saw that the hole was present in the rest of the levels of the apartment complex. Pressing his already pale lips together, he left the room.

***

The demon had reacted to the portal closing by banging its tentacles around the now empty tank, shaking Tsuzuki from side to side as it did so. After it was done with its spasms, the demon stopped to rethink its plans. It obviously couldn�t bring Tsuzuki with it back to the demon world, at least not right away.

Tsuzuki, while he recovered from the sensation of being on a roller coaster, had to think of a way to destroy the demon. Now that Muraki had sealed the barrier, he also wanted to figure out why Muraki had helped him as well. But that wasn�t the immediate problem. If he could summon Suzaku . . .

Tatsumi would have a fit over the damage she would inevitably cause. However, destroying his house was a small price to pay for not being a demon�s trophy. Now if he only had a distraction . . .

The demon had, by that time, decided that its chances of getting Tsuzuki to the demon world were better if it wasn�t in an empty septic tank. It and Tsuzuki slid over to the hole and sliding its tentacles over the opening, it pulled them both up.

And right in front of Muraki.

***

The demon glared at Muraki. Muraki looked back, nonplused, before sliding his gaze over to where Tsuzuki was captive in the myriad of tentacles. He studied Tsuzuki for a few minutes, (actually he was staring at Tsuzuki�s bared chest) before sliding his gaze back over to the demon.

�Why did you seal the portal?� The demon wailed. However, because Muraki wasn�t telepathic or linked to the demon, he couldn�t hear it.

�Why don�t you give me Tsuzuki-san?� Muraki asked. As the demon had no mouth it couldn�t verbally answer him. However, the demon was able to respond by curling its tentacles possessively around Tsuzuki. Muraki sighed before reaching out and grasping one of Tsuzuki�s torn shirttails.

Tsuzuki truthfully did not like this. Muraki pulled him closer, the other hand sliding around his bare abdomen. He pushed away from the offending hands, closer to the demon.

�Tsuzuki-san.� Muraki sighed. �You aren�t being productive.� He pointed out. Tsuzuki kicked once more at the silver haired man.

The demon curled another tentacle around Tsuzuki, which sent Tsuzuki into a near panic attack. He struggled closer to the doctor, until he was nearly in the other�s arms, before struggling back towards the demon.

This went on for only so long, before Tsuzuki was forced to stop from exhaustion. Muraki shook his head at Tsuzuki in a scolding manner. The demon was shaking from mirthless laughter.

All in all the day wasn�t going very well for the purple-eyed Shinigami.

Done laughing, the demon went back to batting at Muraki with its tentacles. Muraki shoved them away from his body before snapping his fingers. The one remaining side of the apartment exploded as a three-headed hydra burst through. Muraki directed the hydra to attack the demon, decimating the top end of the apartments.

Tsuzuki pushed against the tentacles again, now that Muraki seemed distracted with the hydra. He shook his head to clear it of the tingling sensation that filled his senses.

Fire stormed out around him. It took the shape of feathery wings that curled around him protectively.

�Suzaku!� Tsuzuki exclaimed in surprise. �What are you doing here?� He asked in confusion. �Not that you aren�t welcome here,� he continued hurriedly.

The wings spread as Suzaku launched another attack at the demon. �As a shikigami, it is my sworn duty,� She explained, �-to protect you from perverts, lunatics, and the government.� Tsuzuki blinked at the last statement. �The demon counts as one.� Suzaku explained. Just as Tsuzuki was going to ask which one, Suzaku attacked the demon.

The demon screamed as it was incinerated by the phoenix; releasing Tsuzuki . . . right into Muraki�s waiting arms. As the fire consumed the demon, Muraki carried Tsuzuki out of the apartment and through the mob of people who were watching the battle. By that time Tsuzuki was struggling to get out of the white-clad arms.

***

Tatsumi says:

Tatsumi stands before us, holding a long pointer stick. In the background, there is a decrepit sign with a crescent moon on it, saying, �Sailor Says�. Over the logo in red ink is the kanji for Yami no Matsuei.

�Today we learned an important lesson.� Tatsumi gives us a meaningful glance. �Don�t flush toxic chemicals down the toilet, or they�ll open a portal to the demon world in your septic tank.� He pulls down a shade that has complicated instructions on it. �The best thing you can do, especially if Tsuzuki cooks for you, is-� He pressed his pointer stick against what can only be described as an ink smudge, �Go to the Gensou Kai.�

The stick is pressed against several parts of the shade as he explains how to do so. �And when you get there,� He continues, �You need to find Touda. He is usually sulking on the roof of Tenkuu.�

An angry voice calls from off the set, �I don�t sulk!�

�Yes, of course you don�t.� Tatsumi patronizes sarcastically. �He is usually on top of the building, avoiding other shikigami, brooding.� Tatsumi glares at someone off stage before continuing. �Once you find Touda, convince him to use his powers to destroy it.�

Suddenly someone storms up from the side. �My power can destroy this world; it�s not to be used to destroy filth!� He growls. Tatsumi glares at him before continuing.

�Yes. Well, now you know what to do.� The scene then fades so that all you can see is the logo for Sailor Moon.

The End