T h e   P o l l  R e s u l t s
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      Every Friday while traveling on a bus with the almighty Bearcat Band to the weekly football game, Ames and I pass around a poll.  It isn't much, just a sheet of paper with simple yes or no questions and it goes to show just how bored we are.  It all started on a trip to the marching competition in Monticello in the fall of 1999.  I rummaged through my clarinet case and found a lone sheet of lined paper, an ancient blue marker, and a short, rather dull #2 pencil (I keep some WEIRD things in there).  On inspiration, I tore the paper in fourths and constructed a word search with one which I promptly passed to Joel; I wrote some silly questions on another and it promptly got passed around the bus.  So as long as there are questions, I guess we'll keep this tradition going.
Please Note: that these are mostly "band nerds" that were polled so results can get weird.  Number of people polled varied greatly from week to week.  Got any good or funny ideas for questions?  Email me.  But make sure we haven't done it first.  (-:
Poll
  • The chicken came first
  • Berets don't look "cool"
  • A third of girls polled have or have had a crush on Wesley Lynch
  • Less than half know what a myriad is (I missed that one on the PSAT.  myriad- Constituting a very large, indefinite number)
  • Ghosts do have arms
  • The new dress code is very stupid
  • Mr. Moss is not quite the perfect role model
  • Most of us liked the marching drill for this year
  • Half were pictured in last year's yearbook enough to satisfy them
  • And we were supposed to win at the Monticello competition (well, we didn't do bad)
    • The Poll²
    Special thanks to Amy for teaching me how to spell the word "tongue" (I thought it was tounge)
  • 2/3 people polled know someone who can yell louder than Mr. Aguillard
  • The little mermaid is fairly cute
  • Most people have had or currently have an imaginary friend (scary, hunh?)
  • More than half know the meaning of life
  • Dr Scriber is failing miserably
  • Alot of people own Kooshes! (yeah, but do then NAME em?)
  • Pro athletes are paid way too much
  • Everyone can rub their stomach and pat their head at the same time but no one can touch their nose with their tongue (try it!)
  • We deserved the rating we got at Monticello
  • Blondes aren't dumb (Amy is a living example)
  • The number 13 is not unlucky
  • Only a few people know where Ulan Bator is (its the capitol of Mongolia, duh!)
    • The Poll Cubed
    We didn't like parts of this one much but here are some highlights:
  • 2/3 people like their hair the way it is
  • Only one person has ever chewed their toenails
  • Um, not a single person flosses at least three times a week (yuck!!!!!!)
  • Only one person would be willing to pierce something besides their ear
  • 2/3 enjoy brushing their teeth
  • 2/3 have gone 3 days with out a shower before
  • 3/4 said it was acceptable for a guy to have an earring
    • The Poll v. 3.5
    We asked our polled masses for question ideas so we left room for some feedback, all we got was "Don't bash Landon" and "Cute editorial y'all".  So much for that...  We added an editorial to this one bc we didn't feel like posting all of the results of the Poll Cubed.  Quote of the day was: "Discourage inbreeding; don't play country music"
  • 5/6 people are ticklish.  One person (no names) told us to ask his girlfriend.
  • Surprisingly, most people are willing to dissect a cadaver
  • Dead even split, half our pollers would consider going to medical school
  • Animorphs books are preferred over Goosebumps
  • Most people simply cannot imagine Mr. Moss with kids. Go figure. (We are endorsing the names Peat Moss, Repeat, Peta, and Ross Moss)
  • Most don't know where Katmandu is (no wonder they say American kids don't know geography. look in Asia, you can't miss it)
  • 1/6 get enough sleep
  • And no one has too much free time
  • little siblings are annoying. Enough said
  • Are you allergic to poison ivy? 20 said yes, 15 said no, and one said I dunno
  • 2/5 say Mr. Moss is good looking
  • Nerd is not an insult (infact, Mr. Teague says its a compliment)
  • Most people like scary movies
  • Half have rolled a house before
  • We were SUPPOSED to whoop the West Monroe Rebels (maybe next time...)
  • And last but not least, most everyone had hugged someone that day (-:
    • QuadroPoll
    Ummmm, well, we lost this one.  If I find it I'll post the results.
    QuintoPoll
    We only had one sheet of paper and it was doodled on one side by my rabid printer, so this one was somewhat shorter
  • The flag uniforms for this year were too revealing
  • Wow, only one person didn't think that guys have it easier than girls in general
  • Not a single person thought Y2K is a threat to mankind
  • More than half have shakos that don't fit
  • A surprisingly large number like the block schedule over the old 6 period schedule
  • Half have gotten a black eye in their lifetime
  • A little less than half have gotten in a fist fight before
  • Most don't like country music very much
  • Only two tweeze their eyebrows (it was an all girl bus this time)
  • Most have slammed their hand in a car door in their lifetime
  • And only three have had lice

    • The Half a Dozen Poll
    This was a rather nice poll, done on the Spring Band trip to Tennessee. I computerized it for the first time and I was very pleased.  Jared got ticked at us bc Amy called Clint "puny" and he thought we were talking about him.  6'5 and 220 lb. is NOT puny.
  • Only a small handfull want uniforms
  • The vast majority have broken a plate in their life.
  • A third have skipped lunch at Ruston High before
  • 5 out of 6 grew up watching Sesame Street
  • 3 out of 4 would be willing to roll Mr. Moss's house
  • 2 out of 5 would be willing to kiss a slimy newt for a dollar
  • a fourth have ever eaten cat or dog food
  • only a handful can name at least 10 Pokemon (come on guys! I could name 150!)
  • Plastic bags barely win over paper bags (paper all the way!!! wahoo!!!)
  • The vast majority own more then 15 music CDs
  • All but 3 out of 30 something have owned Legos
  • Gore or Bush?  Definitely Bush
  • only 2 out of 5 cried during Titanic (I bet all the guys answered no)
  • Practically everyone likes Girl Scout cookies (good! buy some from me next year)

    • The Lucky Poll (#7)
    Apart from comments that Lucky the Lizard is dead, this was an invigorating and enjoyable poll.
  • 1 in 8 has ever had their hair wrap around a stop sign and get pulled out the window
  • half have jumped off a roof
  • almost half have forgotten to flip their tag this year
  • half have slammed someone else's finger in a car door before
  • Fried chicken wins by a landslide over baked
  • almost half own a lime green piece of clothing
  • Microsoft Word beats out Word Perfect
  • only 6 of 37 will admit to having a "Boy Band" Poster
  • more than half consider themselves lazy
  • 3/5 had Napster
  • 4/5 had ever worn 2 different socks or shoes
  • The 2000-01 Freshman class was severely lacking in school pride
  • Internet Explorer and Netscape tie, and there are 2 lonely AOL users

    • Bonus Question for Upperclassmen Only: Do you miss John Serio too?  9 say yes, 12 say not particularly, and 4 didn't know him
    Comments from the Lucky Poll:
        The Amytorial: Don't you just love Lucky? He is the cutest green beanie fuzzy toothed lizard I've ever seen.  In fact, he's so cute Lindsey, our beloved but somewhat crazy drum major, is engaged to him. Don't believe the evil rumor floating around that Lucky is dead.  It's not true! I've seen him! He lives in amanda's minivan and told me Clint Pumphrey is just jealous of his good looks. Long live Lucky!
        Clint's letter to the editors in response to the Amytorial: I am severely disappointed in this poll's edition of the Amytorial. I doubt seriously that Lindsey is going to marry a stuffed animal. There's probably something illegal about that.  Even more disappointing is the insane notion that I am jealous of Lucky's good looks. HE'S A STINKING ALLIGATOR! Alligators are notoriously fierce and not to mention ugly.  You can't kiss them, snuggle with them, or even get close to them without getting your head bitten off.  I feel sure at heart that Lindsey agrees with me on the above.  In the future, I would hope that such a fine, respectable publication as "The Poll" would never stoop to such a despicable level.  Thank you for your time!   Sincerely,  Clint Pumphrey     P.S.  i'm just playing with you.  P.P.S. Lucky is dead!
    The OctoPoll (8th)
    Quote of the day: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.  -Mark Twain
  • 1/4 want to be cremated when they die
  • 1/4 like brussel sprouts
  • 1/3 own a globe or used to
  • 3/5 have written a love poem to someone
  • 5/6 know what day it is, including the number
  • the vast majority like this year's drill
  • 2/5 can hear at pep rallies
  • half have ever had a cavity
  • half have ever smoked... a ham
  • 7 of 40 can not think of a spontaneous question in 5 seconds
  • most have seen a rainbow recently
  • only half are organized
  • and less than half know what time it is
    • Love poem written on the bus
    Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
    A sweltering, pollen ridden one in the month of May.
    Your hair is so greasy and the smell is so strong!
    Your burps are so loud, so disgusting, and long!
    Just like the humid day when we all smell musty,
    Your hand in mine is so stinky and crusty.
    Your smell is so strong, it knocks me off my feet,
    But I do think it strange that others run when you come to greet,
    They cannot bear to see such beauty I think.
    You look so stunning in polka dotted pink.
    Oh! kill me now if you are to be leaving.
    For my heart would soon be crushed from grieving.
    I'd crave your squishy flesh and thick bod.
    Oh, my Love, I do think you a perfect god!
    Your earwax is of the finest grade,
    Your skin is a lovely pukish-green shade.
    Now do you see what you mean to be?
    "Please love Amanda" is my humble plea!

    Thanks muchly for reading our results.  I hope next year during marching season Hannah and Mary will be able to continue the tradition.             -Amanda (Princess Butterfly) and Amy (the human spel checkur)
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