| Best 5's |
| Best 5 ways to tell if a Redneck has been using your computer: 5. There is a can of wildcat in the CD-ROM drive. 4. These is a gun rack mounted on the computer case. 3. The password is "Bubba". 2. The six front keys have rotted out. 1. The monitor is up on cement blocks. |
| Best 5 reasons why TV is better than the World-Wide Web: 5. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels. 4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit tonight. 3. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard. 2. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in. 1. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beverage in one hand and Doritos in the other. |
| Best 5 signs your Cat is hanging around with the wrong crowd: 5. One day, without your permission he gets his ear pierced. 4. Several times a week, your cat comes home after one a.m. totally sloshed and with the strong odor of catnip about him. 3. You come home and catch him in the act of raiding your liquor cabinet. 2. After failing to get you attention with constant meows and by rubbing up against your leg, your cat pulls out his Magnum-44 and aims it at you, screaming demands about "Friskies". 1. You cat reminds you less and less of Garfiels the cat, and more and more like Fritz the cat. |
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