Sexual Immorality
Do you struggle with the issue of abstinence and purity? Are you sexually immoral? Do you habitually, continually, and/or promiscuously engage in the sin of premarital sex? Perhaps, you know such behavior is sinful, but your flesh cannot help itself. Perhaps, you are a teenager and are curious how sex feels. Perhaps, you are a young adult and your hormones are raging. Perhaps, you are engaged to get married and have lost the desire to abstain from sex before marriage. Bottom line, if you are a sexually immoral individual and have no desire to remain abstinent and pure, please read on…
Sexual immorality destroyed families in the early church and is still destroying families today. Sexual immorality is a sin that comes out of a man’s heart (Matthew 15:9; Mark 7:21; Romans 1:24) and is the only sin a person commits against his or her own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). Rather than being one with God (1 Corinthians 6:17), the sexually immoral person becomes one with another individual sinfully (1 Corinthians 6:16). The body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body (1 Corinthians 6:13). Since our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), why does the sexually immoral person defile God’s temple?
In addition, it is important for the sexually immoral person to note the warnings by members of the early church in regards to sexual immorality. The early church sent letters to the Gentile Christians telling them to abstain from sexual immorality (Acts 15:20, 29, 21:25). The Colossians were told to put to death their earthly nature of sexual immorality (Colossians 3:5). The Ephesians were told not to even have a hint of sexual immorality among them (Ephesians 5:3). The Apostle Paul writes, “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the nature desires, but those who live in accordance with the Holy Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God” (Romans 8:5-8).
However, in spite of the warnings, many people within the early church engaged in sexual sin. These people claimed to repent when caught in sexual immorality, but then when they thought nobody was looking, they would again fall into the same sin. If they were caught again, they would again claim to repent . . . repeatedly, etc. Clearly, such a person is a liar because to repent means to have your heart cleansed, your soul restored, and your mind renewed. The sexually immoral person, however, is directly disobedient to God with their heart, soul, and mind. Anyone who is in direct disobedience with God and says he knows Jesus is a liar and the truth is not in him (1 John 2:4). John tells us those who purposely sin are not of Christ, but of the devil (1 John 3:4-9).
Man’s fall into sin greatly tarnished the sexual aspect of God's good creation. Just as Adam and Eve's lack of sin is described as “unashamed nakedness,” so also it is true that the consciousness of their eventual sin came about to them through the awareness of their nakedness (Gen. 3:7). This clearly implies that sexual desire, as part of God's good creation, is not considered sinful, bad, or dirty; but when sexual desire is subjected to and dominated by sin, it becomes deprived. The Bible refers to sexual desire, when dominated by sin, as "lust of the flesh" (Rom. 13:14; Gal. 6:16). Although sexual desire is one of the strongest desires God created, human sexuality is a very powerful and mysterious force (Song of Solomon 8:6-7). In short, human sexuality, while in itself good, is often expressed in perverse and wicked ways.
In order to avoid sexual immorality, the question that
constantly needs to be asked and answered is not, “Who am I” but “Whose am
I?” 1 Corinthians
6:19-20 teaches us those who have been bought with the blood of
Jesus Christ are not their own, but His.
Additionally, Scripture emphasizes what was bought with the blood of
Jesus is not only the souls of believers, but also their bodies. To God, we belong in body as well as in
soul. We are obliged to glorify Him in
our bodies as well as in our souls. It
is for this reason the issue of sexually immorality is not only one of sexual
purity, but also of the Lordship of God, in Christ.
In addition, in order to avoid sexual immorality, it is helpful
for us to consider what happens when we disobey God. If we abuse God’s good gift of sex, what are the consequences
that will occur? First, consider the
woman who violates God's boundaries regarding sex with a total stranger… She feels used and cheated! She realizes, too late, that she has “lost”
a most precious possession: her virginity. "Lost," however, is not
really the right word because the woman “gave it away.” As a result, she is trapped because she
could only give away her virginity “once.”
Now, she will never be able to give the precious gift to her God-given husband
at the proper time. Second, consider
the sexually immoral man who goes too far before marriage. He also “gives away” a priceless gift, and
he does so cheaply! The loss of
innocence, through sexual impurity, is as real for the male as it is for the
female. He may deceive himself into believing that the gratification of the
moment will make that loss worthwhile.
Nevertheless, he too will find, to his great grief, that it does not!
To make matters worse, today's society says very little about
the precious gift of virginity.
Actually, television, movies, and romance novels make virginity seem
very cheap. They sacrifice this
priceless gift on the altar for "fun." In today’s society, we want the sexual feeling now! Many people think they can use sex to
get love. Many people give in to their
boyfriends or girlfriends pleas just because they do not want to lose their so
called, "love." In every
case, however, selfishness has made the sexually immoral person violate God's
will. It is for this reason the
consequences of sexual immorality are irreversible.
What if God was to discipline sexually immoral individuals like He
did to Ananias and Sapphira, who both literally dropped dead for lying to God (Acts 5)? This puts a
completely new meaning to “being
slain by the Spirit.”
What about Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18, 19), which were destroyed due to
the sexual immorality and wickedness of their people? The Apostle Paul
told the early Christians that a congregation that tolerates sexual immorality
soon earns a reputation that crucifies Christ all over again. In 1 Corinthians
5:9-13, Paul tells the Corinthian church not to associate with an
individual who is sexually immoral and calls himself a believer in
Christ. Paul then proceeds to tell the Corinthians, “Hand the [sexually immoral]
man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and
his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.
Expel the wicked [sexually immoral] man from among you” (1 Corinthians
5:4-5, 13). Undoubtedly, sexual
immorality is a serious sin!
All sexual activity, before marriage, is violating the will of
God. Though some engaged couples claim
the "right" to have premarital sex, they will never be able to defend
their sin before an open Bible! They
believe their expressions of commitment to each other make it right for them to
violate God's will. Wrong! They think self-gratification, the desire to
be loved, and the fear of what their partner might think, will hinder their
relationship. What a poor excuse! Can such motives and actions be defended
before an open Bible? No! It is God's will that sex be protected
within the boundaries of marriage.
Lastly, I have concluded some
motivations for not having sex before marriage are “right,” while others are
“wrong.” One “right” motivation for not
having sex before marriage is one’s love for humanity. If we honestly love humanity enough, we will
wait for sex until we are married.
Another “right” motivation for not having sex before marriage is one’s
love for God. If we submit our
sexuality to Him, we will find security within Him. Once we are secured with Him, our sexuality will no longer be a
struggle for us. Our love for God will
drive us to please Him in all of our sexual conduct. At the same time, however, there are also “wrong” motivations for
doing God’s will. In fact, they are
just as “wrong” as having sex before marriage. One such “wrong” motivation is fear: (1) fear of being found out
(2) fear of pregnancy (3) fear of a disease (4) fear of the opinions of
others. Another “wrong” motivation is
pressure: pressure that if we do not conform to society, we will be ridiculed,
abandoned, and alone.
The Bible teaches sex is God’s
good gift to man. He gives this gift,
not to be used selfishly or romantically outside of marriage, but to be used
and enjoyed properly within marriage. We
must never misuse or abuse God's good gift of sex. Rather, in order to gain His blessings, we must use His gift
within certain boundaries.
Prayerfully, this teaching has helped you realize the complications sexual immorality brings.
Baab,
O.J. “Marriage.” In Interpreter’s Dictionary of the Bible, vol. 3. Edited by
G.A. Buttrick. Nashville: Abingdon, 1962, pp. 279-286.
Babbage,
Stuart Barton. Sex and sanity: a Christian view of sexual morality. Philadelphia,
Westminster Press, 1965.
Cole,
Michael S. (2000, October 12). The Christian Marriage. [Online]. Available: http://www.westwarkchurchofchrist.org/library/christianmarriage.htm
Collins,
Raymond F. Christian Morailty: Biblical Foundations. Notre Dame,
Indiana: University of Notre Dame Press, 1986.
Cosby,
Michael R. Sex in the Bible: An Introduction to What the Scriptures Teach Us
About Sexuality. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1984.
Emmet,
C.W. “Marriage.” In Dictionary of the Bible. Edited by James Hastings.
New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1963, pp. 623-628.
Hurley,
James B. Man and Woman in Biblical Perspective. Great Britian: Hodder
and Stoughton Ltd., 1981.
New
Life Publications. (2000, October 12). The Christian and Obedience—Lesson 3:
Bible Study. [Online]. Available: http://www.ccci.org/10steps/step6/lesson3/study.html
Patai, Raphael. Sex and Family in the Bible and the Middle
East.
Garden City, New York: Doubleday and Company, 1959.
Rashkow,
Ilona. Taboo or not taboo: sexuality and family in the Hebrew Bible. Minneapolis,
MN: Fortress Press, 2000.
Seidman,
Naomi. A marriage made in heaven: the sexual politics of Hebrew and Yiddish.
Berkeley: University of California Press, 1997.
Weems,
Renita. Battered love: marriage, sex, and violence in the Hebrew prophets.
Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1995.
VanOverloop,
Ronald. (2000, October 12). Sex and Dating in the Christian Life: [Online]. Available: http://www.prca/pamphlets/pamphlet_16.html