A recent topic of discussion around campus has been over the filtering of inappropriate materials, most notably pornography, on the Internet. While filtering this may look like a good solution, the truth is that there is a larger issue behind the problem of people looking at pornography which the filtering does not address.
The issue I am referring to, of course, is masturbation. Masturbation and pornography go together, as we all know, and masturbation is a vice that creates problems for many on our campus, as well as for many in society. Of course, there are countless liberals and fanatics who attempt to show that masturbation is not wrong, and even some who go as far as to say that it is healthy. However, we all know that these are destructive lies, and are aware that masturbation is a practice that we don't want endorsed by the University, and which most certainly is not endorsed by fine churches.
Will getting rid of Internet pornography get rid of masturbation? No. It is known that people have many means of acquiring pornography from media other than the Internet. Trying to crack down on the access of pornography from magazines, books, video, music, and even 1-900 numbers would be a tiresome task. However, if we attempt to extinguish the practice of masturbation, then the pornography issue is solved. Why else do people look at pornography but to masturbate? If they cannot masturbate, then it follows logic that they have no purpose for looking at pornography.
Trying to get people on this campus to stop masturbating will be a hard task, although the administration has shown that they are willing to go those extra steps and pay those extra dollars to make sure that the University produces the best people a church-affiliated school can offer. The first step, of course, would be to involve RAs in the monitoring of residents. It would be trivial to add this to the list of an RA's duties since they already have to monitor students to make sure they do not swear, engage in other sexual activities, or use drugs, alcohol and tobacco. RAs would be sufficiently trained to have an eye out for problem people who may have a tendency to masturbate, and also be aware of key places that students go to masturbate.
It would also be sufficient to instate an accountability system among non-RA students. The University could require students to leave their doors open to make sure that one does not attempt to masturbate in the privacy of their rooms. This would be helpful on many accounts, since this could also crack down on other illegal activities being performed behind closed doors.
It should be noted that there are a significant number of students who do not live on campus, and lest they should slip out from under the University's watchful eyes, other policies could be instated. It might be helpful to offer rewards to others who turn in their fellow students for masturbating. Another proven method for cutting down on the practice of masturbation is to distribute sandpaper gloves to each student, and require them to wear the gloves at all times. The gloves, of course, would make masturbation uncomfortable enough to deter students from attempting it.
I am sure that the administration can come up with other ideas sufficient enought for eliminating this problem. The administration must be ready for disapproval from the students, but their protests can easily be ignored or disregarded, as has been seen with previous issues. Most importantly, students should realize that if they have nothing to hide, then such policies do not affect them at all. Furthermore, each student at the University is well aware that they belong to a church-affiliated school, and must be prepared to behave as if that were true. Each student signed an agreement to give up their rights and privacy to do so, and since appearing moral is much more important than having privacy and free will, this should not even be an issue.
Thank you for your attention,
Adekunle Olonoh