DiC_Dub

It all began one day, mukashi mukashi, when Konton-sama was incredibly unbearably bored�that, or increadibly unbearably "f-ed up," but what difference does it make?�Anyway, she was busy lying around counting the number of bumps on her ceiling, when suddenly, one of the many CKO-tachi (for the uninformed, that's the "Chibi-KOPII-O"s... little miniature Yami o Makumonos o.o;) came running up to her�

Konton: 2,567� 2,568�

CKO: ::Rushes over, making little squeaky sounds of panic:: ;-;!

Konton: �2,569� 2,570�

CKO: Konton�! ;-;

Konton: �2,571� 2,57--�what comes after �71��?

CKO: ::Tugs on her sleeve:: Konton, Konton! ;-;

Konton: ��72�� 2,572�

CKO: YO, KONTON!!! ><

Konton: ::Pause� glances to the little rodent-ish O on her shoulder:: What�? I already told you, the CKZ-tachi finished off the Mazoku Munchies, so you�re going to have to eat the CKKs until I go get more. -.-;

CKO: �Not a problem, but there is a problem, y�know?

Konton: That almost made sense�

CKO: The other CKO-tachi have been captured!

Konton: ::Blink� now alert, leaps up, doing a Miaka/Sailor Moon pose:: Nani? Who dares! They shall be punished by my great hammer of JUSTICE!

CKO: *sweatdrop* �But, Konton, they�ve been captured by a dick!

Konton: -.-; Anyone who captures my beautiful little O-tachi is quite the dick, inde--

CKO: --I mean, literally! ::Holds up ransom note::

Konton: .;;; �::Takes the letter and reads it:: ��Miss Chaos: We have captured your mini-blondie-fellas and are currently holding them hostage. They will be returned on only one condition: that you hand over the rights to Lost Universe, thus allowing us to dub it, edit it, shred it apart and perform sickening acts with its innards, and release it onto American television in a form more suitable for a young American audience. If you do not cooperate, we will submit your mini blondies to a week long marathon of dubbed-Sailor Moon. They�ll never be the same again! �Sincerely, DiC.�

CKO: ;-; Isn�t it awful�?

Konton: ::Sigh:: Matte� mousukoshi desu. �Of course, to properly make your� �decision�, you may need to know what our plans are for the editting of Lost Universe. Pooh. Well, we have here included a list of the changes we plan to make to Lost Universe to make it more� �appropiate� for Western audiences.�

CKO: �Ara� so what�s the list? It can�t be anything all that bad, right? o.o; I mean, Lost Universe is far from being �Rated R� even in its original form�

Konton: ::Stares at the list� eyes slowing get wider and WIDER� jaw slowly opening and� staying that way:: �

CKO: o.o; Anou� Konton�?

Konton: ::Faints:: x.x;

CKO: o.o;;; ::Scurries over to Konton�s apparently dead body, taking the list from her hands and looking it over:: o.o; Hmm�

DiC Presents�

Edits include, but are not limited to, the following�

* The Nightmare Syndicate is called �The Negaverse.�
* Yami o Makumono is �Blondie.�
* Karii will be cut out of the show altogether � replaced by a giant inkblob (with her hair-hoses ocassionally sticking out).
* Stargazer is called �Darth Vader.�
* And he�s really Kain�s father.
* And Yami o Makumono really isn�t a clone; he�s Kain�s brother.
* No, wait; he�s actually Kain�s evil twin.
* But he doesn�t want to be evil � he was manipulated all this time by Stargazer!
* And the series ends with him realizing his mistakes and joining the �good side.�
* Gorun Nova will be called �The Bat Mobile.�
* Nezard is �The Pointy Ship.�
* Ragud Mezegis is �Ragu Mad-for-Geese.�
* Kain isn�t a Trouble Contractor, he�s a People Helper.
* Kain and Millie are brother and sister.
* They�re not in love � they�re just a very happy family�
* And Canal�s their mother.
* �Plasma Blast� is �Big Jewish Star Thing BOOM!!!�
* Vorufied is �Super Sailor Canal.�
* Common insults used by Yami o Makumono are �Captain Loser,� �Pilot Poo-Poo Head,��not to mention �Sailor Failure��
* Common insults used by Kain are �Dumb Blond� and �Negatrash.�
* Kain Blueriver is �Luc Skywalker.�
* Millie is �Leia.�
* Dark-Star�s inverted pentagram is replaced with a giant smiley face.

(CKO: -.-; Now that�d just be silly�)

* Merina is Yami o Makumono�s long lost twin sister.
* It was her childhood disappearance that made him sell out to �the bad side.�
* Yami o Makumono is actually a girl. O.o; The scene showing his bare chest is completely cut out (leaving a GIGANTIC plot-hole� ^^ We love those!).

(CKO: O.O!!! NA�NANI!!!??? ><!!!)

* Dark-Star (the ship) is �The Ship of Doom and Gloom.�
* Yami o Makumono wasn�t torturing Kain! Kain was just having a scary nightmare.
* Nina is �Serena.�
* Millie goes shopping for friends in the street!
* Goren-Oh is �Mr. Evil.�
* And Karii is �Ms. Inky.�
* The psi-blades are �light savers.�
* Psi-Energy is �Really Cool Smartness POWER!�
* Whenever times get tough, Rail shows up and says a long speech that revives everyone�s spirits and gives them hope.
* That or he sings a Broadway number -- same effect.
* Nina speaks completely in third person.
* The Lost Weapons are �Super Cool Special Pretty Ships!�
* Goren-Oh is a Keebler Elf.
* The Psi-Barrier is �Big Safe Protection Bubble BLAST!�
* Negative Psi-Energy is �PMS POWER!!!�
* Psi-Code Final is �Ultra Big Special Wowzer Ultimate Ultimate ULTIMATE Boom Countdown CRASH!!!�
* The Lost Ships aren�t draining their pilots! They just have a LOT of extra special safety seatbelts.
* Alicia didn�t die. She was captured by the Nightmare and transformed into Goren-Oh. O.o;;;

(CKO: What� the hell�?! o.o;;;)

* In case you couldn�t tell, we�re just pulling pointless crap out of our asses now�

(CKO: -.- �Now��?)

* Anyway, that means that Goren-Oh has to be a girl�
* Canal doesn�t die, either. She just has a Windows 95 programming error.
* Nina is Rail�s daughter from the future.
* Ms. Inky the inkblob is in love with Kain. O.o;
* �That which shines like gold upon the Sea of Chaos� Golden Sea, flow before me� You must bow down to the greater evil, Dark-Star!� is now �Big Scary Yellow Negablob of Destruction, SPLAT!!!�
* �The one who comes from Dark-Star must bow in the name of chaos!� is now ��Boo.�
* Swordbreaker is �Nutcracker.� X.x;

(LoN: Yea! ^^)

* The Lord of Nightmares is �Queen Shiny.�
* And Mazoku are �Negabaddies.�
* Kain�s most famous line will be: �Cripies, I�m swell. ^-^�
* The psi-blades are actually run on batteries�
* Gary Coleman will be Kain�s voice actor.
* No, wait� we changed our minds. Richard Simmons will be Kain�s voice actor.
* And Rail will be voiced by one of the New Kids on the Block.
* And� uh� Martha Stewart will play Yami o Makumono.
* So Yami o Makumono will know great ways to spruce up your kitchen for the holdidays! �With just a reef, some string, and markers��
* Now, as for those funky pictures�: