The Serpent's Lair


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|- Py's Lair
  |- Presidential Squeeze 3


E-mail Konstricta

This is a work of fiction, people and relationships, as well as job descriptions, origins, etc. may vary. I took the general idea from the news, changed names and events somewhat, altered where I needed to, embellished, and the final result only resembles the truth.

Dedicated to my favorite turtle, who convinced me that this half baked idea actually had some potential.

Presidential Squeeze 3
(c) 10/99, By Py,

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President Paul Clayton sat at his desk in the oval office, feverishly signing papers with hardly a glance at them. He hated this part of the job, signing bills or vetoing them, or signing directives, decrees, etc., it was just such a boring part of the job. He was so glad that he had Mr. Vague, Mr. Greensleeves, and all of the rest of his cabinet and trusted employees at the White House to help him figure out what was best. His 2 most helpful assistants with advice of course were his wife Zelda, and the White House Barber, and when it came to the cabinet he usually let everybody handle his own department the way he or she saw best. This gave him much more time for jetting around the world, talking to world leaders, getting his picture taken a lot, and basically doing all the things that would most endear him to the public. And of course, their were vacation times, and almost every day some free time to himself, which usually he had spent with Veronica or some other intern or secretary. He didn't worry about his wife Zelda because she already knew, and even helped him in concealing things from the press, but he was concerned about Cello finding out. Cello was a smart kid though, in her teens, and probably suspected something was still going on. She couldn't have missed the entire circus that had occurred, and thus found out her father had been unfaithful, but she also believed all the excuses and such, and forgave him because Zelda did.

It had been several months since his appearance in front of Independent council Ben Czar, and all the noise in the public about his misleading the court and having an affair with an employee, had pretty much wound down now. He had convinced people that his failure to volunteer information hadn't been perjury, explaining his answer in court had been misleading but not a lie, and totally irrelevant to the case at hand, therefore unimportant. He had also convinced people that what consenting adults do in private is unimportant considering Zelda knew and had forgiven him, and that Veronica Stravinsky wasn't filing sexual harassment charges. Some people had pointed out that no one could find Veronica Stravinsky, and he had passed that off as unimportant, since if she wanted to file charges she'd make an appearance and do so. Somehow he had managed to avoid all the dirt being kicked up in the press, and avoid any possible criminal charges, although he had gotten the feeling that Czar had been on some sort of vendetta. It had been Zelda's idea to push that observation in the press in order to hamper Czar, and it had definitely helped.

Now, all that was over, all these papers were signed, and the secretary to Mr. Vague, a wonderfully attractive redhead named Miss Jan Bond was waiting for him. She had no love for his tuba, nor snakes either so borrowing Cello's wasn't necessary, but she did like to play games. Usually it was the routine where she was the secret agent, trapped in the clutches of the evil mad scientist, who was bent on the domination of the world after dealing with her. He made his excuses so he could head for his private office in the largely deserted section of the White House, getting knowing smiles and exasperated looks at his retreating back as he passed by.

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Zelda stood at the top of the ski run, her face impossible to recognize at a distance in her ski clothes, but the tight fitting garments giving more than a suggestion of the still excellent figure she had. She raised her goggles onto her forehead and could see far away to the smaller slopes off to one side, where Cello was still learning to ski, but everyone looked far too small to pick Cello out of the group. She smiled, turned to see the 2 secret service agents nearby her, knowing that 2 would also be with Cello at all times. She lowered her goggles, adjusted her hood, checked her skis and poles, then pushed off.

Swishing down the slope, then going in a zig-zag fashion, catching sight of the agents out of the corner of her eye as they skied with her, she was thoroughly enjoying herself. Zelda hadn't felt this relaxed for months, this whole hearing nonsense had been just so ridiculous. Her husband hadn't done anything wrong of importance, and neither had she. The public had moved on, and why couldn't those last few people who just couldn't seem to let go.

Curving around a tree at a sharp angle, then between a pair of boulders with red flags around them, she heard one of the agents yelling, but pretended not to hear him. She took another turn towards another pair of flags, then went off a 20 foot drop, landing gracefully but now with both agents yelling at her. This just made her feel more devilish, but she didn't want to head for the trees, she felt devilish not stupid. Speeding like a small rocket, and now totally off the standard trails, she turned away from the trees, pleased to see 2 others far down the slope.

She zig-zagged around, losing speed as she did so, and knowing that was prudent around all these hills and moguls. She became aware that the calls of the 2 secret service agents had become more frantic, and she wasn't sure why, as one dangerously sped in close, causing her to come to a stop, "Ma'am,,it's an avalanche, run!" he said sharply. She turned to peak up the slope, and she saw a huge mountain of snow and ice heading her way. The rumble was not easily noticed right now, but it was traveling fast, and she saw a large tree snapped in half by the wave of white snow. "Ma'am!" the agent cried again, and she realized she had been just standing there. Zelda straightened her feet and used her poles to begin the run down the hill. She saw the female agent speeding well ahead of her, the other close but still ahead, , she didn't blame either of them, there was no way they could protect her from this. Still, they hung back somewhat as if encouraging her on, and she realize moguls or not she had to put on her best speed.

She crouched low, went around large moguls and jumped small ones, hoping that she wouldn't lose her balance. The sound of the avalanche grew from a rumble to a roar, and she could now hear trees cracking behind her. The male agent fell, and rising to his feet she saw one of his skis were broken. He waved her on, and she nodded at him. The other agent was now going her fastest, and Zelda realized she had better push harder also, just as she thought she heard the scream of the other agent. She chanced a look over her shoulder, the wave of snow was too close. She thought the agent remaining might escape, certainly the 2 people they had seen were safe, but she began mumbling a prayer for herself.

The next thing she was aware of, she jumped a large mogul, using it to launch herself into the air a few feet, landing a short distance away, and suddenly being hit from all sides. Her world went black as the wave engulfed her, snow violently pushing tightly around Zelda as it carried her along. The snow got into her clothes, broke her skis, wrenched her poles out of her hands, but finally she came to rest. The noise had been muffled around her, but she hadn't been able to pay attention to that, and now she was vaguely aware as the noise receded, as her part of the avalanche came to a stop and the wave moved on.

Zelda's breathing slowed almost immediately, mainly due to the restriction of the snow around her, and after a few moments she tentatively tried to move. She couldn't, the weight on her kept her down, and snow in all directions kept her from moving sideways. Everything was black because no light reached her, and she realized that her goggles were still in place so her eyes could open, but could see only the blackness in front of her. She knew that she could last for hours buried in the snow like this, enough air should reach her, but the cold and immobility would slowly sap her strength. She didn't even know which way was up, but made a pretty good guess that she was lying on her stomach, her legs behind her and slightly higher than her head, and perhaps she was slightly tilted to one side. Zelda made one mighty effort to stand, and decided she would have better luck if an elephant were on her back. Zelda began calling for help, she doubted anyone would hear her muffled cries, and difficulty breathing would limit how often and how strongly she called for help, but she had to try something.

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Paul Clayton was in his underpants, and stood over the nearly naked woman tied into the desk chair, "Now Miss Bond, you have fallen into my evil clutches. Time and again you have foiled my plans to conquer the world, but no more!" She writhed and twisted, "You fiend, your going to release the spores into the world's water supply unless I stop you!" He laughed dramatically, "You can't stop me now! However, I will see to it that you are destroyed completely first." "Villain!" she cried. "Just what will you do to me? I warn you, I will escape and defeat your evil schemes!" He laughed again and pulled out a can, "This is the whipped cream of death my dear Miss Bond. It will slowly and painfully dissolve your body, and it taste good too." He began spreading cream around her exposed breasts and body, as she hurled expletives at him, until he paused to put a gag in her mouth.

His cell phone rang, "Damn it, I told them not to call me here unless it was an emergency." He yelled into the phone, then his face dropped, "I'll be right their. He turned to Jan, "I have to go right away, sorry for the interruption, but Zelda has been in an accident," He explained what he knew of the avalanche as he dressed, then turned to leave, "You can clean up this mess, sorry we were just getting to the good part." He was just going out the door when her muffled cry brought him back. "Oops, almost forgot." he said as he came back. He grabbed his cell phone from off the desk, kissed Jan Bond, then ran out the door, licking a finger full of whipped cream. She called again but he was gone this time, so she sat there for a moment. She wildly struggled at her bonds, then slowly subsided. Part of her hoped someone would find her soon, and part of her didn't want anyone to find her at all.

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They searched for hours through the snow. Two others had escaped the avalanche, and had been a great help in finding the female agent quickly. Having outrun the avalanche further, she had been buried under only 3 feet of snow, and suffered no other damage. While she warmed up in a ski lodge, wearing a blanket plus some dry clothes donated to her by vacationers, she drank hot chocolate and monitored the search effort through a window using a radio and binoculars. Plenty of people had volunteered to search, and the president flying in Air Force One had told them to take all the help they could. The security man agreed, the need for help outweighed any security risk since the First Lady was in a life threatening situation where every minute counted.

Next they found the male agent, his body buried upside down and bent backwards. He was clearly dead, with no signs of life, his back having snapped when the wave of snow had hit him. They didn't waste time digging him completely out, but marked the spot for later. As time passed they were all getting discouraged. Two agents went to check out a suspicious mound, and pushing a long hollow metal tube down through the snow, he was surprised when he struck something, and it didn't feel like a rock or other hard obstacle. The second agent put his head to the snow while the first prodded again, "It's her!" the second said. The others came running and the digging began. "Was she okay, and are you sure it's her?!" the ranking secret service agent asked. "Oh yes." the one who had heard replied. "All the others are accounted for, but even if I doubted... Well sir, she's very weak, I almost can't hear her, but she's cursing like a sailor." The ranking agent relaxed, "Yes, I see..., it's definitely her then."

Five secret service agents dug her out, the dozen or so volunteers standing in a loose ring around them. Several left to finish recovering the dead agent, and a large snowmobile arrived with a doctor on board. Later Mrs. Clayton sat in the living room of the ski lodge, wrapped in a blanket and drinking her hot chocolate, while a fire raged in the fireplace. The female secret service agent that had also been buried in the snow brought her a comb and brush, "Your husband's plane has landed, he'll be here within the hour." Zelda put the items down and took a drink, "Thank you. I wish he hadn't bothered, he couldn't do anything." The woman sat down, "I'm sure he's been worried sick about you, and wants to be with you while you recover." Zelda took another sip of her hot chocolate, "Oh absolutely dear." she said, patting the woman's knee, "Of course, he loves the job but naturally wants to be with me right now, and I'm sure he had to drag himself from his responsibilities, but he did because that's the wonderful sort of husband he is."

Zelda put her cup down again, "So what's your name dear?" "Agent Paine Ma'am." she replied. Zelda smiled, "No no no, forget this Agent and Ma'am crap while your on sick leave, I'm Zelda while your off duty. Now what's your name?!" The woman hesitated, "Melody Paine, Ma'... Zelda." "Lovely name." the first lady said. "I know I've heard that last name before, do I know you from somewhere?" Melody smiled, "No, but you certainly must have heard of my Uncle, he was involved with that big scandal over Central America. The Iraq/Counter business during the Raisin Administration. My Uncle Oyster Wimple Paine, I just called him Uncle Oyster, but to his men he was Major Paine. He testified in front of congress, they even thought he ought to run for President, but that wasn't for him. Anyway, he didn't do any of the things they accused him of, and he encourage me to join the secret service if that's what I wanted. I'm sure he would have liked me to join his branch of the service, but he told me straight out, 'Melody, be all that you can be,, pick a service, pick a challenge, set yourself apart.', and when I decided to join the FBI, and then move to the Secret Service, he gave me all the support and help he could. I'm blathering on, sorry Ma'am." "Zelda dear, your off duty." Mrs. Clayton said. "Yes, I remember that whole scandal bit." Zelda snapped her fingers, "Now I remember where I know you from, your the brunette female agent that worked with the crate back..." Melody became frantic, "Ma'am we're not supposed to talk about that." Zelda smiled, "Of course, your right dear."

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The next day they were all on Air Force One as it flew back to Washington DC. Cello had been naturally upset at the early end to the ski vacation, but didn't consider it much since her mother had almost died, and she was just glad that she hadn't. The President had his private office aboard the plane, and no one entered it without permission, treating it as they would the oval office, except Zelda and Cello did sometimes after knocking first. Zelda entered, finding Paul working away on a computer screen. "It's me Paul." she said while she pressed a button, returning him to his currently paused game of Tomb Hunter. He pressed another key which saved the game, "Always time for you dear." Zelda looked at the frozen screen, sizing up the somewhat lifelike tall and busty heroine of the game, "Now you know those have got to be implants, and how can she possibly fire a machine gun straight with those getting in the way?!" "It's a game Zel, anything's possible, and you picked a hell of a time to be jealous, she'll blow you away with a bazooka if you piss her off." he answered. "Now, how about you come sit in my lap." She sat in his lap, "Let her try, I'll pull her plug!"

He sighed as the 'Aliens invade the Earth' screensaver came up, "You've been quiet since the accident, what's wrong." Nothing dear." she replied. "But I had a lot of time to think while buried, and then all night because I couldn't sleep for a long time, even with the sedative the doctor gave me." She sighed then stood after kissing him on the forehead, "I talked with that agent who also got buried, Melody Paine. She made me think a lot. She's done so much, her Uncle, her father, some brothers and sisters, and I haven't done much at all, and here I almost died. I want to do something important, and I don't mean have another baby, even if I were younger. I want to do something myself, and congress keeps shooting down my ideas that you put forth." Paul's smile wavered slightly, "What do you want, I'll see what I can do?" Zelda stands straight, "I want to be Governor of Utah, just like you were. Oh I know people have to elect me, but I want to try, and who knows I could be President someday, and then you'd be the First Man or something."

Paul Clayton tilted his head a bit and gave a slight smile, "Your only 35, another baby isn't out of the question." he suggested. She frowned slightly, "Yes, but when it was 20 I'd be 55, and so on. No, Cello is going to be my only contribution to the gene pool I'm afraid. Besides I want to do more myself, not just let a child of mine do it for me!" He hesitated, "You might not get elected, and that can be a bitch. All that work, all the tension, and nothing concrete to show for it." She began moving and waving her arms, "Yes yes, I'm used to all that political reality shit, I can handle it. Besides, if you retire after your second term like the other X-Presidents, then you and I won't have much else to do." He thought a while, "You could open a new law firm. The Hose Law Firm is long gone but you could start another." She crossed her arms, "Been there, done that, I want a new challenge." Only the roar of the engines could be heard for a while, then he smiled widely, "Okay dear, if you want it and are willing to try your hardest, put up with all the long hours, low pay, and red tape, you've got my full support. I can find out what you need to do, go through the red tape with you, and help you start organizing a campaign. You've timed it right, we can do a lot in the next few months before you have to announce." She ran over and hugged him, "Oh thanks, and I've still got connections. I know some people who will help, they owe me some favors, weather they like it or not."

After making love on the carpeted floor, Zelda leaves the office. The president sits in his chair and picks up the secure phone. Dialing the White House, he talks to Mr. Vague after putting a scrambler on the conversation. He tells Vague about his wife's plans, and that he should start looking into ways that he can unofficially help her campaign without getting into trouble. Vague says he already knows a few rules to bend, and he'd investigate others right away.

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When they land at Dulls airport just outside of DC, more than the usual crowd is there, drawn mainly by the story of the near demise of the First Lady. "Vultures." Zelda says through a smiling face. The president is also smiling and waving, "Get used to it, you'll see far more of this when you run for office." As usual the smiles of Cello take a lot of the attention of the media away, so no one quite caught the momentary droop in the President's expression as they approached the 2 black limousines, and he recognized the woman standing outside one. "Oh shit!" he softly said through clenched teeth. "Watch your language in front of Cello and the press." Zelda mutters. "What's wrong?" "Tell you later." he replied.

As usual, Zelda and Cello got into the back of the first limo, a secret service agent in the front passenger seat next to the driver. As they sped off the woman who had attracted his attention held the back seat door of the second limo, and he entered without a word from her. She climbed in after him though, and the limo started off. Without asking the woman hit a switch which raised the privacy screen, a thick sheet of metal between them and the driver and agent in the front seat. They were totally isolated, no one could see or hear them, and she put her clipboard down, "That wasn't a lot of fun y'know." "I'm sorry Jan." he softly said. She quickly twisted her head to look at him, sending her long red hair flying, "Sorry, sorry, is that all?! I was stuck in that miserable chair for nearly 7 hours. I only got out then because Mr. Vague missed me. He figured it might have something to do with you since he knew about us, and I had disappeared over one of our breaks." He straightened his tie, "I'm really very sorry, I..." She ignored him, and began raising her voice, "They waited till most everyone had gone home, then your most trusted people formed a small search party. Mr. Greensleeves found me, naked except for my panties, and tied into that chair,... with whipped cream all over me! My god I was so utterly embarrassed!" Paul grinned nervously, and Jan Bond continued, "To make it worse, he wouldn't untie me at first! He said if he touched me to untie me then it would be grounds for a sexual harassment suit, so he called the others for help! It seems that all the men got there in record time, while Janis Rhino took forever to get there! The ass holes wouldn't even throw a jacket over me, said it would cost too much to clean all the whipped cream off!" She folded her arms and looked ahead, "Well at least once I got loose they didn't follow me as I rushed into the bathroom, and Mrs. Rhino did pass me my clothes." Silence passed for a few seconds, and Paul began, "So, all's well that ends well." Jan sat back and spat out a curse. Later as they approached the gates to the White House he tried again, "So, is tonight off? I thought we might try the woman captured by headhunters bit again, you like that last time." She narrowed her eyebrows, but didn't bother to answer.

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Several days later the President walked out of the residential area of the White House, and a short time later into the reception area of the Oval Office. 3 desks were there, one for his secretary Trish, another for Mr. Vague's secretary, and the 3rd for the Vice-President's secretary, each positioned near a handsome wood door. Currently his secretary, a great looking blonde with long silky hair, long legs, blue eyes, and very large breasts, worked on her computer. While Mr. Vague's secretary, Jan Bond, sat scowling at him, her red hair seemingly on fire, and her green eyes blazing with barely disguised anger. He blew her a kiss and she made a gagging motion, which he ignored. He also noted that Mr. Snores secretary, the short and attractive Japanese woman named Rose Tokyo was not at her desk.

"Where's Rose?" he said with a smile at Trish? She looked at him coyly and in her thick Southern accent replied, "Why she's on an errand for Mr. Snore. She might not be back for a while, will poor little me do?" Trish batted her eyelashes and out of the corner of his eye, Paul saw Jan holding her throat as if choking. He smiled, "Your fine Trish, I just was curious." She reached out to pick his hand up off her desk, "Oh that's good, you know I'm always willing to do whatever I can for you, run wherever you ask, handle anything you want." He blushed slightly, and saw Jan again, this time disappearing behind the desk, a waste basket held in front of her face, "Perhaps after lunch you could bring the pentagon budget report to my private office?" She beamed, "Oh sir, it would be my pleasure to do so!" As he disappeared into the Oval office, Jan rose and the 2 women shot daggers at each other with their eyes.

In the Oval Office Paul Clayton skimmed through the bills in the 'Should Sign' box where Zelda had left them after checking them out for him. Finding no obvious faults in her decisions he signed them one by one. Then he repeated the procedure with the 'Should Veto' box. He called Trish in, "Give these bills over to a messenger, and have them delivered to congress, the usual procedure." "Yes sir." she purred as she took the papers, and he watched her sway out the door. Paul sighed when she was gone. He was looking forward to dating Trish, she certainly knew the score. He figured that Jan probably wouldn't get over her anger for some time if at all, so he had some free time to fill. He had a twinge of concern and assured himself that Trish wasn't replacing Jan, because if Jan ever got over her anger he'd see her again also, he felt he could juggle 4 women at a time plus his wife, instead of his usual 3.

He turned his computer on. Tradition kept him from keeping it on his desk, but it was on a little extension, a small table to the side. All he needed to do was turn his chair sideways and the computer was right there. He fumbled through his schedule, found the memo file, and flipped to 'Tomb Hunter'. The current stats of his game were easily shifted from Air Force One's computer, and since then he had advanced in the game. At his command, the heroine Lori Crass, was deep in the jungles, having spent all her machine gun ammunition shooting camouflaged gorilla villains, hostile native villains, opposing archeologist villains, and assorted animals. Now out of bullets she swung through the trees, swam the river, wrestled a croc then killed it with her knife, and crawled out of the river soaking wet. After falling into quicksand Clayton fortunately was able to direct the heroine to a vine, but wasn't able to get her out until after the quicksand had climbed over her huge breasts, getting her neck length brunette hair dirty, and losing her knife in the process. Once he had her out she continued on heroically, jumping a swarm of army ants, and crossing a suspension bridge which of course gave under her weight. Dangling from a vine she reached the top, then continued on to the lost temple. He found the door and directed Lori inside, she found a convenient flashlight on the floor, left by some poor unfortunate person no doubt.

Through the winding tunnels, stomping on scorpions and spiders, he directed Lori Crass to the treasure room. She read some ancient writing on the wall that said something about death to all who read this, and promptly she fell through a trap door which landed her in a pit of snakes. She avoided the small poisonous ones, but the giant constrictor dropped on her from above. After a brief battle she was wrapped in coils from ankles to neck. Clayton tried hard to get Lori free, but to no avail. He could make out the contours of her body as the serpent slowly squeezed the breath out of her, and felt panic an irritation at the screams as he tried whatever he could think of to get her loose. Then she stopped fighting as her body grew so weak it wouldn't obey commands, and she passed out as the words 'Game Over' appeared on the screen. Clayton sighed, and planned to later return to the game just after Lori jumped the ants, and next time he wouldn't have Lori stop to read the sign on the wall.

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It had been several months since her mother's ski accident, and Cello hadn't seen much of her lately. The teenage girl wasn't too upset since she was on her own most of the time anyway, with her mother too often doing such things as discussing finances with Greensleeves, organizing travel plans, reading bills, and so on, including the occasional tea party or charity event. So she often snuck off, found something to do to avoid getting dragged along to those events where her mother might invite her. Her father was worse as far as being busy was concerned. He was always shut up in the oval office or his private one, or else running around to this official meeting, or to talk with that world leader. Between the 2 she felt almost like an adult on her own, although she was still only 15. She had her friends, and got to go to school with others her own age, although she was too aware that the secret service agents were always nearby. Cello ditched them a few times, but it always panicked them and got her into trouble, so she had learned to grin and bear it.

Cello loved having Springs around also. She had often taken the 12 foot black and green boa outside to visit friends. The secret service agents had different reactions to Springs, ranging from mild curiosity to open distaste. They all treated Springs well though, and had told Cello outright that if springs decided to attack her they would be forced to kill him. Cello thought this was reasonable, and always made sure Springs was fed on time and that she didn't let him feel threatened. She knew Springs was on the big side, not extremely but far too big for her to be lugging around town, but he wasn't that heavy, and she never had to walk with him far before putting him down on a limo seat or something. She loved the look on people's faces to, especially the drivers who's expressions were a mixture of apprehension and resignation about having to possibly clean snake shit out of the limo again.

Cello loved it all, especially the looks from her mother who still thought of snakes as slimy even after finally holding Springs. Her mother had been understandably concerned for Cello's safety after seeing the size of the reptile. Cello had explained to her that although Springs could kill a person, he was far too small to swallow a full size human, and so he wouldn't even try to kill one unless he felt threatened, and somebody would always be around to help in that unlikely event. She had assured her mother that Springs wasn't poisonous, and had explained how constrictors killed by squeezing the breath out of their prey. She had also demonstrated how Springs could only get a couple of coils around her, and would find holding her and squeezing her difficult at best. She had told her mother that Springs couldn't kill her easily or quickly unless he got her around the throat, covered her mouth and nose in a smother hold, or just got a lucky grip on her chest and body, and either the bodyguards would help her, or if necessary, Springs was light enough for her to carry his weight while running for help herself. Her mother had remained unconvinced, but accepting of her daughters choice.

Cello had been relieved, having not told her mother the entire truth, such as how Springs's weight would make getting up difficult if she fell with him coiled around her, and that he would grow fast right now. Since then, Springs had grown nearly 2 feet longer to his current 12 foot length, and had gotten quite a bit heavier. With the center of Springs behind her head she had to loop him around her waist to carry him, and sometimes either she or a bodyguard would hold the end of the tail up to keep it from dragging. Springs really was getting too heavy for her to carry around. She wasn't in terrific shape, but she knew Springs now weighed a bit over 30 pounds, which made supporting his entire weight possible but annoying after a while.

Now Cello had a big glass tank that sat on the floor to the side of her bed. It was a huge tank which was longer than she was when she laid next to it, and stood about 2 feet tall. In it Springs had some rocks and a short stump of a tree, with soft dirt and grass in the bottom. He had a small source of water in there, but nothing he could swim in, so she often let him out and into a well regulated bath in her private bathroom. Cello preferred to let springs out of the tank as much as possible, but always put him in during feeding, sleep times, or whenever she was going out. Today was feeding day, and she had very mixed feelings about it. Cello didn't want to feed Springs food that had been frozen, having decided in the beginning that a large chunk of thawed meat wasn't good for a cold blooded animal, even if it were fully thawed and the pet store had said it was okay. So she had to have live food for Springs, which meant that secret service agents in disguise went to remote places to get it. Her father had said this was best since it was bad enough that the pet store owner knew about springs and his dietary requirements. That man had been threatened with jail time for national security reasons if he talked. Her father had also said that if they themselves bought the food animals it would almost immediately be noticed, and raising them would be too big an operation for the prying eyes of the media, so this was the only way. Now whenever the feeding schedule dictated, which usually meant every 2 to 4 weeks depending on the size of the last meal, an agent would go out an find something a few days before feeding time.

Cello decided that springs was ready, and she unlocked the tanks top. Opening a cardboard box she pulled out a small white bunny. More torn emotions, she couldn't bare the thought of what was going to happen, and only hoped that it would be fast, and the rabbit wouldn't take a bite out of Springs either. She dropped the rabbit in, watched as it hopped around oblivious to Springs, then as it froze. Springs struck, quickly wrapping coils around the rabbit, and when Cello saw the crushing begin with springs head apparently out of danger, she closed and locked the tank. She shivered, thoughts of living in the jungle and suddenly being attacked that way by some giant jungle serpent filled her mind for a few moments. It made her feel disturbed, partly in fear and disgust, partly in some other way.

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About a week later Cello burst into her father's private office, finding her father half naked on the futon with both Trish Dish and Rose Tokyo, both women also in barely more than they had been born with. Paul Clayton sat up and scowled, but before he could express his anger Cello spoke, "Mother's been hurt!" She quickly filled him in on the details while he dressed, telling him that after a final appearance in a Utah campaign series of stops, she was heading to DC for a break. Air Force Two took off, and while climbing it exploded at about 1000 feet up. The rescue workers hadn't expected to find anyone alive, but had found the pilot and Zelda Clayton, both now unconscious and in critical condition. Paul Clayton told the women to clean up things then lock the door behind them, and Cello ignored them completely, except to remind Trish to look after Springs until they got back.

On the flight to Utah in Air Force One, Cello had to reassure her father that she had known about his other women all along, "After all dad, I'm 15 now, and not the dumb kid I used to be!" He tried to smile at that, but found he could only sigh. His mind shifting between concern for his wife, concern for Cello, and concern for what the ultimate reaction of the media would be to all this.

In a hospital room Zelda Clayton lay unconscious. She had tubes all around her, stuck in her arms, down her throat, and in areas she would never have dreamed of mentioning to the press. Most of her face was bandaged along with large parts of her body, some for burns and others for other wounds. Her remaining visible skin was bruised in several places, and her hair had been so badly damaged it had been cut to within an inch of her scalp in a rushed and sloppy manner. A machine on the wall read out various vital signs, and the sound of a heartbeat monitor pinged away. A large pole sat next to the bed, 2 bags on it hung upside down, dripping fluid that slid down 2 tubes which eventually met and became 1, which further connected to a syringe that fed the liquids directly into her bloodstream. The syringe was held in place by tape which went around her arm and a slightly larger board underneath her arm. The television was on in her private room, the news story of the plane crash showing, and the newscaster reporting Zelda's condition. On the screen many people with flowers were standing outside the hospital, even Zelda's chief opponent for governor was seen to be visibly upset by the news.

The doctor checked the monitor setting and the intravenous drip and various vital signs, then decided that things were going as best as could be expected. He left the room, closing the heavy door behind him, cutting off all sound from the hallway. He reported the bare facts of Mrs. Clayton's condition to the 2 secret service agents standing at the door, then went on his way. Melody Paine looked at her superior Jack Daniels, "Who would have expected this?" "Be prepared, that's our motto." he replied. "I thought that was the boy scouts." she said with a slightly exasperated sigh. "Them too." he said casually. "It's a good motto."

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Several days passed, with Paul Clayton using Air Force 1 as an office, and keeping in constant contact with DC at the same time, much to the dismay of the airport officials who had to tie up a hanger for him, and allow the secret service to close off an entire section of the airport for security reasons. When they weren't visiting Zelda in the hospital, Cello went around town, usually to shop, her secret service bodyguards tagging along. On the 4th day, Zelda woke and the 2 of them visited her, learning that she miraculously seemed to have no major damage, accept for the massive burns and bruises to the skin. The doctor said it would be a while before the burns were healed enough for her to be released, and he thought she should be fine now that she had regained consciousness, but he did want to run more tests. He wouldn't say when she might be able to leave pending the test results, always being very cautious on the subject, and proclaiming she would need some minor physical therapy for a week or so once she could stand up. Everyone was all smiles with the news, and when the press learned they were eager to spread the word. Zelda's chief opponent wasn't entirely pleased with the idea that Zelda would be on her feet in time for the election, but he put on a good show.

That evening, a figure stood in Zelda's room, reading the chart at the base of Zelda's bed, then examining the monitors. He looked at the sleeping form of the First Lady, railings pulled up around her, and the sheets outlining her attractive figure. The man reached into the pocket of his doctor's smock, and pulled out a syringe. Stepping to the intravenous pole, he began preparing to inject the contents of the syringe into the tube. Zelda began to stir at the slight noise, and woke just as the fluid was entering her tube. In a dreamy state she began "What? Who...!" then a hand covered her mouth. She attempted to scream, and tried to lift her body, but the stranger easily held her down with one hand and stifled her screams with the other. Slowly her struggles slowed, and the stranger gave a low curse of pain, but eventually her body relaxed. Gingerly he removed his hand from her mouth, shaking it because Zelda had bitten into his flesh, but he was pleased to see she hadn't drawn blood. He didn't want any evidence at all of this, and certainly not something so obvious. He waited, nothing changing for some time, but was satisfied that all had worked. He turned and left the room, nodding to the 2 secret service agents outside the door. About a half hour later, the First Ladies heart monitor went wild, then she flat lined. Emergency crews rushed in as a code blue cardiac emergency announcement blasted over the PA system. Despite the best efforts of the doctors, Zelda Clayton was pronounced dead a short time afterwards.

A week later, a funeral was held in a cemetery in the Clayton's hometown in Utah. Lot's of people, friends of the Clayton's, celebrities, the media, and people trying to earn a buck were there. After the burial Cello road back to Air Force 1 with her father. When they were airborne he sat with her, 'Cello, things have to change now, someone has to supervise you when I'm not around, you know, making sure you do your homework, etc.. Who has been doing it when Zelda's been away?" "Mostly I do it father." she said. "Although the secret service people try their best, but they change all the time." He nodded, "Choose one you like, and if they'll take the responsibility we'll add those duties to those of bodyguard. Is there anyone you might like in that position." Cello thought, "Not particularly, but Mom liked this woman Melody Paine ever since they were in the avalanche together." He thought, "I remember her. Yes, if she'll take the posting we'll try her out, but if you two don't get along let me know and we'll try someone else." He scowled, "I want you both to get along, but I won't let you get away with anything. I'll want her to push you around a little." Cello sat back and sighed, "Yes dad, I just hope she can deal with me and Springs." "Springs and I." he corrected. "Springs and I." she said in a somewhat disgusted tone.

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Melody Paine had been working this special assignment for a few weeks, and had really gotten to enjoy it. It was almost like being a practice Mom, with bodyguard work on the side. Melody was only 27, and had lately found her mind wandering to thoughts of children, but couldn't imagine giving up her career. She also cringed at the idea of possibly leaving a baby motherless if she died, never mind the year off work at a minimum, plus having to raise a child alone and the career problems that created. Still, at almost 30 her biological clock had pushed the idea into her mind, and she couldn't stop thinking about it. She supposed it all started, or grew worse, with that conversation in the ski lodge with the First Lady. Zelda Clayton had managed it all, but obviously a lawyer with a rich husband in the governor's seat was a far cry from a single woman working for the Secret Service, receiving a nice but hardly rich salary. Not to mention, lawyers, governors, and real estate people don't often get shot at.

She knocked on the door to Cello's room then entered after a few moments with no answer. She was just about to begin questioning Cello on the status of her homework when she saw her lying across the bed, her body unmoving, and Springs wound around her chest and throat. Melody screamed, and ran forward to the bed. She quickly grabbed the snake coil around Cello's neck, intending to try and rip it loose, and then to smash the head of the 12 foot snake with her gun butt a few moments later even if she failed to free the throat. Cello's eyes opened, her mouth closed and curled into a smile, "Hi Melody." Melody backed up and stood there dumbfounded as Cello sat up, easily removed The coil from her throat, and carried Springs to his tank, where he slid inside.

As Cello turned to face her Melody grew angry, "You little bitch!" Cello frowned, "I'm sorry." "Why did you do a stupid thing like that!?" Melody snapped. "Cello bowed her head, "It was just a joke, I'm sorry." The door flew open as several men in suits and waving guns ran in. Melody calmed herself, "It's okay, Cello was just playing a joke on me, It wasn't a very good one." The men smiled and put their guns away, all but one leaving and talking to each other in a relieved way as they left. Jack Daniels looked at Cello, "I'll mark it on the report as Unknown Noise, but considered unlikely to repeat." He looked directly at Melody, "Quite a handful, you've got a really tough assignment here." "Screw you Jack!" Melody spat out. Jack's smile widened, "Maybe later, but not in front of the kid." Melody pointed, "Get out!", and Jack left with a slight chuckle.

Cello waited a few moments then began, "I'm really sorry. It was a stupid joke. I was just sitting on the bed writing in my diary when you knocked. Springs was right here on the bed next to me and,... well,... it was a joke." Melody stood with her hands on hips, her lips moving as she silently counted to 10, then in a stern but patient tone she began, "Alright, I'll let it go this time, you're a good kid, but don't ever pull a stunt like that again. My god, I'd be grey in a year if you did, or worse yet I'd start taking your jokes for granted and ignore true danger, that would make me a lousy bodyguard." Cello walked to her and they hugged, "Okay, I won't do that sort of thing again." Melody smiled then frowned, "Uh, Cello, about the fowl language I used..." "What fowl language." Cello said mischievously. After finally remembering to check on Cello's homework, Melody left the room. Closing the door behind her she leaned back against it and muttered, "God, give me strength. I think I'd quit but Uncle would never let me live it down. Besides Melody, you wanted to find out what being a mother is like!"

The President and Alexander Vague were in the oval office as they were preparing for a cabinet meeting. Paul Clayton was obviously not feeling quite himself, "I don't know Alex. It's so much harder to do these bill things now without Zelda's advice. Sure, you help, and the barber, even Cello gives advice, but it's still tougher." Vague stood before the President's desk, "Sir, she's gone, and nothing can bring her back." Clayton sighed, "Yes, but that doesn't help me right now. I can handle the cabinet meetings, but congress will roll over me if I don't handle these bills and negotiations over bills right. Zelda even knew how to handle the press." Vague sighed, "We can't go back sir, but we could assign you an assistant, someone who thinks like Zelda, although I don't know who we could trust as much as her right now."

Clayton waved a hand, "Nope, I'll manage. I've done okay so far with less advice by just winging it. I just wish there had been some other way to handle things." Vague stood straight and spoke more softly, "Sir, she was blackmailing you. She said that either you pull more strings, get so much more involved in her election, or she would start spilling things, beginning with something she promised would be very embarrassing, and continuing on after that if you didn't give in to her demands. We couldn't allow her to blackmail the President of the United States, especially considering that your influencing a state election on that level would be a guaranteed impeachment. On the other hand you couldn't just refuse her, you yourself said she would go through with telling the press everything, from your help with bills, to affairs with office help, to what really happened to Miss Stravinsky." Vague shook his head, "I was surprised as hell to find out she had a tape of the incident, she was more devious than any of us ever thought. We found the camera since then, and don't know what gave her the idea to plant it, or if in a worse case some 3rd party sold it to her. But we both know that release of the tape showing you just watching as Gwenavere the anaconda squeezed the life out of Miss Stravinsky, then swallowed her body, would definitely land you in jail."

Vague held up his palms, "So, it was either spend your life in jail, get impeached, or help her and hope she never gets angry at you again, or eliminate the problem." Vague let his hands fall, "We had no choice Mr. President." Paul Clayton stood, "Of course your right, I'd give the order again if I had to. I must know though, did she suffer?" Vague shook his head again, "No sir, I disguised myself as a doctor, wore a full beard and mustache, plus wore glasses and dyed my hair to avoid detection by my own people. The poison was slow so as to let me escape, but made her unconscious quickly. It was painless, undetectable, and would cause her no discomfort except possibly at the very end when she was far too deeply unconscious to notice." Paul Clayton smiled, "Thanks for doing it yourself." Vague smiled back, "Not at all sir, we needed to keep this operation low key, and I really enjoyed getting back into the field, even if I can't tell anyone. And I believe I did a good job, it's been officially declared death from complications of her accident, and nobody can trace it to me, even if the 2 agents remember a doctor entering at that late hour."

They began walking to the door and Paul Clayton broke the momentary silence, "You know what's the worst Alex, leaving Cello without a mother." "But she's got a father with a clean reputation and a healthy bank account, plus her mother isn't known as a tramp, criminal, or backstabber." Vague pointed out. "She's got one good parent at least, and never needs to know about her mother's dirty games." Paul Clayton slapped him on the back, "Absolutely Alex, now let's get this meeting over with, I have a date planned after with the new girl in the secretarial pool." "Which one, there are 2." Vague asked. "The blonde." Clayton said. "Miss Muffins."

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Over a month passed with little of major importance occurring, except SoDamn Insane of Iraz invaded a neighboring country Muchweight. The brief war was short and to the point, with the US leading an alliance of countries against the Irazie forces. Within 24 hours Muchweight was liberated, and the world supply of linseed oil was restored. "This was not a fight for oil, but for justice, freedom, and democracy." Clayton had pronounced at a press conference. After the armies had been able to fortify positions to keep Iraz from trying anything else,, Clayton himself went to Europe, where a meeting took place with the leaders and representatives of the allied nations, and those of Iraz and Muchweight. Papers were signed, new stronger borders and agreements regarding them made or old ones affirmed. The allies insisted on maintaining surveillance over Iraz indefinitely, something that the Irazie government strongly opposed, pointing out that having destroyed 90% of their armed forces there was no point to it, and it was an overly aggressive and untrusting thing to do. The allies refused to listen though, answering that Iraz had abused any right to trust, and it would take time to earn it again.

After all was done, Paul Clayton wasted no time in heading for the airport to return to the US. He hadn't been home for a week, and he missed Cello. She had stayed behind because of some big test, and Paul had only managed to find time to call her once. He sat in his Air Force 1 office, Mr. Vague reporting to him that there would be a slight delay because the rain was causing some difficulties. Clayton looked out of one of the airplane windows, "It's really bad, and it's nighttime, any problems with taking off?" "No sir." he answered. "The rain just slows things up a bit, their's going to be about a 20 minute delay, unless you wish me to ask the airport to move us ahead of everyone else. They will if we ask, for diplomatic reasons of course." Clayton didn't hesitate, "yes do that! I want to get home."

Air Force one taxied to the runway, then began it's takeoff, quickly increasing speed as it traveled. It's nose left the ground, and shortly after the rear wheels left the runway, pressing it's passengers back into their seats as it climbed. The plane leveled off at 30,000 feet, and turned to head West. Paul Clayton and most of the plane's passengers were asleep when the sun began to rise over the horizon, the other people going about their business as quietly as possible. Nobody was aware as the plane exploded, the massive detonation sending shards of the plane in every direction.

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Cello climbed into the backseat of the limo, Springs wrapped loosely around her neck, body, and one arm. A man in a suit made sure she and Springs were both fully inside then closed the door, and he watched as the car left. They drove off, when the drivers gravelly voice called from the front, "Now you are my hostage, and that creature will make a fine pair of shoes and a belt. Cello gasped, then saw the smiling face of Melody Paine in the rear view mirror. "Melody!!" she cried in protest. Melody chuckled, "It wasn't nearly as bad as your joke on me, and you should have seen your face! I thought you might pee your pants!" Cello slouched in her seat, "Yeah well, we're even now right?!" "Right." Melody agreed.

Cello looked out the window, "hey, how come your driving? I mean usually it's the regular guy whether a bodyguard comes or not. "I needed to speak with you alone dear." Melody began. "Oh shit, what's wrong now." Cello said in a trembling voice as she started putting Springs down onto the seat beside her. "Watch that language!" Melody snapped. "Now, I have the unfortunate duty to inform you of the confirmed explosion of Air Force 1, it was flying at approximately 30,000 feet and was near the middle of the Atlantic ocean at the time." Cello said nothing and Melody continued after a while, "They're blaming it on Iraz, saying it's a terrorist plot for revenge, or some have suggested SoDamn ordered it himself." She paused, "Everybody on your father's team was with him on the plane. At that altitude and so far out to sea, I can't imagine their being any survivors."

Cello smiled slightly, "Then we did it." "Yes dear." Melody answered. "Your bomb got him." Cello's smile widened, "That's for killing my Mom you bastard!" Sitting forward she cheerily said, "I couldn't have done it without your help. I mean, not just obtaining the supplies, building and planting the thing, but all those little tricks. Like having it blow up on the return trip, near the fuel tank where normal inspection wouldn't find it. Then exploding so high as to guarantee that unlikely survivors would die in the fall, and wreckage would spread out so far and so deep underwater as to make any wreckage analysis meaningless. It was 10 times the operation I could've done alone, if I could've done it alone at all!" Melody sighed, "You would have figured something out, you travel on that plane enough." "But it wouldn't have been as easy to do, or as well timed, or built as well, and so on. Where did you hide it?" Melody paused to take a corner, "In a small spot on top of the fuel tank, so it wouldn't be seen by ground inspections, unless of course they suspected a bomb and did a more thorough check. Also putting it there meant that when it went off the fuel would explode as well, making the explosion much bigger than the small bomb could create alone. It took me a lot of work to plant it, but I managed in 10 minutes without being missed or suspected. I had to secure it with magnets and lots of tape, but I figured it would easily hold even through turbulence.

Cello sat back, "Hey, isn't this some sort of dereliction of duty thing. I mean, your supposed to protect the president, take a bullet for him, etc., not blow him into a million pieces." Melody scowled and Cello continued with a mischievous grin, "So, maybe I should worry about who you might blowup next." Melody grumbled, "Your mother and I grew closer after the avalanche, sharing such an intense nearly fatal experience can do that to people. She was my friend on top of being one of the people I was sworn to protect. When your father had her killed, it negated any loyalty I had to him, which left me loyal to you only." She pitched her voice menacingly, "However, I've still got enough explosives left to deal with you and your reptilian friend." Cello laughed, "Okay, I won't mess with you."

Cello absently stroked Springs, "So, what happens now?" Melody stopped at a light, then proceeded through, "First, when we get back from our ride, you must act all sad. Remember, I broke the news that your dear father just died, and it wasn't long ago that you lost your mother. You have to play the part, but people are very accepting. Just be sad, but don't overact, and it'll be fine, and don't worry if you do overact, they can't trace the bomb to us even if they find part of it, I was very careful about all that. They'll decide terrorists did it, or some fluke malfunction, and that'll be the end of any questions." "Okay." Cello replied, "But I was also wondering what would happen to me now? Where do I live, I'm not quite old enough to live alone according to the law, and I'm not sure exactly how I'd go about that either." Melody parked the car and turned to face Cello, "I'm sure Mr. Snore and his wife won't kick you out of the White House right away, they'll probably let you stay as long as you want, or at least until you get the school situation dealt with. At minimum they'll probably let you stay to finish the school year. As for Social services, well you've got influential friends, and your father did arrange for me to take over sort of as your mother. He gave me limited legal powers to handle such details that came up, and he gave me full guardianship should anything ever happen to him." "You never told me that!" Cello said in amused surprise. "You never asked." Melody replied in the same tone.

Melody clapped her hands, "So, You stay here for the rest of the school year, or as long or short as Mr. Snore is willing to allow. Eventually we move in to your family estate in Utah, or you sell it and we go elsewhere. I stay with you and perform my mother/bodyguard role until your 18, after which I'm free to leave or your free to throw me out." Melody hesitated, "I should say you could throw me out today if you want, but until your 18th birthday someone else would just take my place as your guardian and bodyguard, after 18 if you get rid of me your on your own." She smiled, "Your not a former president so the government won't provide you with perpetual bodyguards the rest of your life, and I won't be able to watch you all the time either." "I think we'll move." Cello pronounced. "perhaps Florida, or California. The weather will be better in the winter for Springs, what do you think of those places?" "Wonderful choices, I like either of them." Melody replied.

Melody began to turn when Cello gasped, "What's wrong Cello?!" Cello hit her forehead, "Oh my god, I... you... we..." "Spit it out!" Melody commanded. Cello took a deep breath, "We made Snore the President!" Melody slumped, "My god, your right! I guess we have no choice, I'll cut your throat, then Springs's, then I'll commit hari-kari. We've doomed the country, it's the only honorable way out!" Cello chuckled, "It can't be all that bad Mel!" Melody put a finger to her chin, "Well, I could put all the explosives I have left under his chair, that might wake him up." Cello laughed, "Okay, but right now, you just told me about father, and I'm grief stricken. Take me for a ride, and while we're out take me to the Benedict Arnold Zoo, I want to see that big snake Gwenavere. Recording her on video wasn't quite the same as seeing her in person. I just wish I had never shown the tapes to mother, they might both be alive." Melody handed her a tissue, "None of that now, what's done is done, and your not responsible for your mother's blackmail or your father's killing her." After a while of silent driving Cello sighed, "Yeah, your right."

A short time later Cello let Springs crawl across her shoulders, "Mel, do you think I could be president someday?" "I don't see why not." Melody answered. "But you've got to wait about 20 years to reach the age requirement I think. You could try other seats first while your younger, Mayor, City Council, State Governor or Representative, or whatever elective office you like. Work your way up, and you might consider losing the snake." Cello mocked horror at the half hearted suggestion, "Never! Springs will stay with me, can you imagine, first a Mayor's Snake, then a Governor's snake, and eventually the first female President and her Presidential Snake. I'd have the life again, and the women in the secretarial pool wouldn't be harassed anymore." "What about the men?!" Melody asked with a grin. Cello smiled, "Only the cute ones."

The End

By Py

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