This is a work of fiction, people and relationships, as well as job descriptions, origins, etc. may vary. I took the general idea from the news, changed names and events somewhat, altered where I needed to, embellished, and the final result only resembles the truth.
Dedicated to my favorite turtle, who convinced me that this half baked idea actually had some potential.
Presidential Squeeze 2
(c) 10/99, By Py,
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"Let me say it one last time, directly and honestly, no evasion or double talk. I did not have an affair with that woman, Veronica Stravinsky!" (Paul Clayton)
"Okay, we had an ongoing affair, but at the time I gave the court that answer, she and I were still having the affair, therefore the answer to the question was technically correct. Back then, we hadn't HAD an affair, we were still HAVING an affair." (Paul Clayton)
"I told Zelda all about it, and she was shocked to learn that this had been going on behind her back all those years. She has forgiven me fully, and stands behind me on this issue, since I am taking full responsibility for my actions." (Paul Clayton)
"It never would have happened if she hadn't thrown herself at me so shamelessly." (Paul Clayton)
"White Winter land deal, what has that got to do with any of this? Sure, my wife made $12,000,000 on a $1,000 investment, she's very good at what she does, and I still don't see why that's relevant here." (Paul Clayton)
"Yes, I'm pleased that Mr. Czar has seen fit to exclude those new witnesses. Those women are taking advantage of the situation to make false accusations against my husband. I don't believe for a second that any of them are telling the truth, my husband Paul is too good a person to have had affairs with all of them! Besides, did you take a good look at some of those lying women?!" (Zelda Bedlam Clayton)
"What?! Women's movement, what did they ever do for me?! Those old maids don't know what their talking about!" (Zelda Bedlam Clayton)
"I don't know why the media is bothering us so much. My parents are wonderful people who obey the letter of the law and care about being respectable. It's not like my father has threatened to press the red button, yet." (Cello Clayton)
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Day 33, 1:35 PM, Congressional hearing room,
Mumbled sounds are heard through the great hall as the various state representatives mull about while taking their seats. The short balding man sitting behind the table on the dais shuffles through his papers while the crowd is seating itself. When they are ready he looks up, and pulling the microphone over and banging his gavel he announces, "I now declare this 33rd day of hearings reopened. I hope everyone enjoyed their lunches." The murmur lessens, but a nervous laughter rolls through the hall before the crowd becomes relatively silent. Ben Czar continues, "Well, it's been a long and tiresome trip to get to this point. Certain people have done just about anything to avoid appearing before this board of inquiry, and it's taken 6 months of investigation, plus 33 days of actual hearings to have them here, and I know that's exactly why some of the faces of the media in back are in attendance. So let's not waste time and get right to things. Unfortunately, the President can't be with us today, it seems that Springs, his daughter's 12 foot boa constrictor, has developed a severe hairball, and the new White House cat is missing, so he naturally was detained." Nervous laughter echoes through the crowd, while reporters scribble in their pads.
Czar bangs his gavel "So, until he can arrive, if he does, I would call Lucinda Chips back to answer a few more questions." A loud voice calls out, the doors to the rear of the room open, and a tall well dressed attractive blonde with glasses enters, followed by a man and a woman in business suits carrying briefcases. They sit down at a table facing Czar, the blonde woman in the middle.
"Good afternoon Miss Chips," Czar begins. "I hope your feeling well today?" Well enough with reporters surrounding me all the time." Lucinda Chips replies. "You seem to be dealing with the situation without too much disruption of your life." he comments. "These are your new lawyers I take it." "Yes," she answers. "I had to fire Mr. Ham and Mr. Eggs because they weren't protecting my interests well enough, not to mention they almost blew the book deal! These are my new attorneys, Mr. Fish on my right, and my sister Miss Dora Chips to my left. Czar scribbles on a paper, "Noted, Ham and Eggs are out, Fish and Chips are in."
After a pause Czar begins, "Okay Miss chips, we can skip all the material we've already covered for the most part. I wish to ask you to clarify some things for me." "I wish to cooperate fully in any way I can." she says with a bright smile. He shuffles his papers some more in a deliberate attempt to intimidate, "We all know about the audio tapes, and the fact you recorded them while on the phone, then being aware of the politics of Washington DC you saved them in case you ever needed to defend yourself. My question is, why so many? I count 137 tapes, totaling over 57 hours of conversations with Miss Stravinsky, on topics you insist you didn't want to talk to her about. Why did you keep talking to her about them?" She whispers with one lawyer then the other, then answers, "I'm a good friend." Czar taps his fingers nervously, "Could it be that you were possibly trying to gain more information to use in extortion against her, while making it clear on the tapes that you were, quote, �a good friend', unquote. She huddles with both lawyers, then sits straight, "Of course not, how dare you suggest..." she says indignantly.
Ben Czar holds up some papers "Come now Miss Chips, these are FBI documents detailing a similar situation recently with the secretary of a lawyer who was nominated to the Supreme court. You were her good friend also, weren't you?!" Lucinda Chips pauses, "Umm, Yes, I was her friend." Czar pushes onward, "Also a good friend of a computer software tycoon's secretary, and that of a secretary of the ambassador from Japan, and lastly a secretary yourself in the Hose Law Firm that Mr. Clayton and his wife owned in Utah!" She huddles with her lawyers again for an extended period. "Miss Chips,... Miss Chips,..." Czar says impatiently. She straightens to face him, "What was the question sir?" In a stern voice he repeats, "Were you in fact friends of all the secretaries I just mentioned, and did they share things with you also? If so, did you tape them as well, and where are the tapes? If not, why did you tape Miss Stravinsky?" Again she briefly talks with her lawyers, "Sir, I believe that goes beyond the scope of your investigation. Whether or not I taped conversations with my other friends who happened to be secretaries of other influential people has no bearing on the outcome of your investigations."
Czar rubs his chin, "Perhaps Miss Chips, but before we got into the content of the tapes, I thought knowing why you made them in the first place might be relevant. I will reserve the right to return to this topic in the future." He shuffles through some other papers, "Now, about the relationship between President Clayton and Miss Veronica Stravinsky, excuse me, alleged relationship, you can put your hand down Mr. Fish. Now Miss Chips, would you kindly explain in general terms, whatever you know about the alleged relationship in question? If I need details I will interrupt you with a question."
Casually she brushes her hair behind one ear with her fingers, "I work at the White House, in the secretarial pool, so I see a lot of daily comings and goings." Nervous laughter breaks out, and Czar bangs his gavel. She continues "Veronica Stravinsky was one of the new interns. It's a low paying job, but worth it for those who get the opportunity, allowing them to add a lot of job skill to their resume. Miss Stravinsky is, or was, a good friend of mine. We talked about everything, and when she started having private time with the President, well it raised a lot of eyebrows." Czar interrupts, "Is it strange for interns to be alone with the President?" "Oh yes!" she replies. "In all my years at the White House no intern ever got to see the President in any way other than passing in the hall, never mind be alone with him!" Czar bangs his gavel to quiet mumbling from onlookers, "Please tell us more about this or any other strange happenings you observed there Miss Chips."
Lucinda Chips took a moment to think then began, "I saw Veronica called to the oval office many times when the President was alone, She always took some papers off her desk for him to sign, and she was always gone a long time. Later she often left for an hour or more, disappearing somewhere in the White House, but never telling me where she had gone to. Whenever her missing time came into question, word came down from the Chief of Staff or even the President himself to say that she had been on official business. Then there was this time when I was leaving for the day, and I saw this truck backed up to the side doors of the White House. I was curious about it, so I went over to look. Six men were trying to move this huge crate from the back of the truck through the doors of the White House, and weren't having much luck, while 2 security men stood around watching everything." Czar interrupts, "How large was this crate, and what
exactly did it look like?" She paused to consider, "Oh, about 5 feet by 10, and about 4 feet tall. It was black, made of material like hard sided luggage so you couldn't see inside, and they were having so much trouble getting it through the door because it had huge warning stickers saying not to turn it on it's side. Oh yes, It had some holes in it, like air holes, and some lettering that I tried to read, but a secret service man stopped me by standing in the way. Anyway, I asked them where it was supposed to go in the building, and the secret service man really got angry with me. But the delivery foreman told him to keep quiet or the box would never be delivered. They wanted it in a room near the oval office, so I drew them a diagram of how to get there using the back door and wider passages, but warned that I thought they'd still have to turn it sideways through the last couple of hallways. They thanked me and I went home."
"I see." Czar said. "We've heard you mention this crate to the media before. Any idea what was inside, or ideas about where the truck was from?" "No sir." she answered. "It was a big black truck though, 4 wheels, enclosed back area you can stand up in, with swinging doors. Y'know, the kind everyone knows the police and secret service use to be inconspicuous. I remember it so well because it drew my attention right away." "And you couldn't read the writing on the side correct?" he asked. "Yes sir." she said. "What of the men?" he added. She scowled as if concentrating, "Well 2 were secret service or something, they were wearing suits so I don't know what else they could've been. One was a tall man with dark hair, the other was a medium sized woman with brunette hair cut shoulder length. The 6 guys working the crate were just your basic workman, none of them really stand out in my memory, except the blonde foreman with the cute butt. I'm afraid I don't remember his face though." The hearing pauses while a chuckle goes through the room.
Czar considers a moment, "Did any of them say anything specific that you can remember?" "No sir." she replies. "Only the secret service guy who kept trying to get me to leave, and of course when I talked with the others about directions." Czar pauses again, consults a paper, then looks up, "Did you ever see any of these 8 people again?" "No sir." she answered before her sister could object, "I did ask the foreman for his home phone number, but the secret service guy got all in my face right away, and that's when I was forced to leave. I never got the number, and never saw him again."
Czar writes on a paper, then sitting straight and adjusting the microphone he smiles, "Thank you Miss Chips, that will be enough for today. I'd like to be able to recall you if new information comes to my attention, so please remain available." Lucinda Chips breaks into a huge smile, "Of course sir, I'm always available to you." He blushes slightly as he clears his throat and adjusts his tie, "Yes well, would you please approach the bench." Her lawyers object, both pointing out that she's been dismissed already, but she goes up to the dais alone. He turns the microphone and they talk in whispers as she leans over the table towards him. When she returns her lawyers are all over her with questions. "Calm down Mr. Fish, Sis," she said. "I didn't let him pull any tricks." "So, what did he want?" Mr. Fish asked. Both women looked at him unbelievingly, "A date." they said in unison. Mr. Fish scowled, looked around to make sure no one could overhear them, then whispered, "That's not exactly ethical." "That's his problem." Lucinda replied. "Got the recorders ready Sis." Dora Chips asked. "I do not want to hear this!" Mr. Fish said in exasperation. "Yes Sis." Lucinda continued ignoring Mr. Fish's remark. Then she turned and waved, "So long Mr. Czar." He gave a small wave back and softly replied, "Goodbye Miss Chips."
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Day 35, 10:22 AM, Congressional hearing room,
Ben Czar enters the large room, slightly late for work due to traffic. He walks to his seat on the dais, then quickly scans the room as he opens his briefcase and begins organizing his papers. He notices that the room is full, and that as promised the Vice-President is already waiting. Czar was having trouble figuring out what to ask Mr. Snore, but since the President had managed to find another excuse not to show up, he would make the best of it. After all, it was only a matter of time, and he knew how to play politics in DC as much as anybody. He couldn't act too eager though, that was part of it, not letting the public know how much he wanted to crush that weasel Clayton. He had to be completely and totally impartial while he destroyed the man, and the best way to do that was calmly, methodically, and by using the facts available, or inventing them if necessary.
He banged his gavel, "I now declare this 35th day of hearings open. Unfortunately President Clayton could not appear here again, it seems he has developed a rather personal problem. "Hemorroids!" a voice in the back yells followed by laughter from the crowd. "Diarrhea!" another cries eliciting more laughter. "Mad Cow Disease!" someone comments as Czar bangs his gavel for silence. Czar pauses, "The Vice-President has agreed to appear today instead, not as a replacement, but in the hopes that he can clear up some questions." Czar faces the table in front of him, "Mr. Snore, Mr. Snore, Please wake up!" The Vice-President wakes up with a start, lifting his head off the table and mumbling something about it not being his fault.
"Mr. Snore, " Czar begins. "It's a pleasure to have you here today, and I apologize for my lateness." "No problem sir." Snore replies. "I don't mind a little waiting, it gives me time for important work." Czar fights to keep from grinning, "Yes, well since this is your first time before this board of inquiry, would you please state for the record your full name, and occupation." Snore yawns, then with a dull look in his eye responds, "I'm Alister Sigmund Snore, Vice-President of the United States, the greatest country in the world I might add. I'm sorry the President himself couldn't be here today, it's those damn Arabs again." "I thought it was a problem of a personal nature." Czar said in mild surprise. Snore looked caught off guard for a moment, then his face became unreadable again, "Yes, he takes the middle East situation very personal." "I see." Czar says as he writes a note.
After some general questioning about staff and specifically Veronica Stravinsky, Czar asks, "Mr. Snore, do you know anything about a relationship between the President and Veronica Stravinsky, or any member of the White House staff." "No." came the simple answer. "You mean in all your time at the White House you never heard any rumors nor saw anything out of the ordinary." "Yes, I mean No, I mean I saw nothing out of the ordinary." Czar leaned back, "Mr. Snore, did you see or have knowledge of a large crate delivered to the White House?" "There are often large packages coming into the White House." he replied. Czar sat forward, "This was very large, about 10 feet long, and brought in through the back doors because it was so big. It took 6 delivery men, and had 2 secret service people watching over it's delivery." Snore thought for a moment, "No, that doesn't sound familiar to me." "But it's possible that you were simply uninformed about it." Czar prodded. "Of course." Snore replied. "The President can't tell me everything he's doing, that wouldn't be prudent nor practical." Czar raises a pencil, "So, although you know nothing of a crate being delivered, it might have been without your knowing about it?!" Snore paused, "Yes, that's correct."
Czar smiled slightly, "Okay, now about the presents that Mr. Clayton gave to Veronica Stravinsky, what do you know about them?" Mr. Snore sat straight, "They were given in friendship by the President to Miss Stravinsky, little things, tokens and knickknacks." Czar pulled out a paper, "I see, here's what I have listed, 1 set of wind chimes, 1 bar of soap, 1 pair of shoes, 1 whoopee cushion, 1 set of chattering teeth, 1 gold ring, 1 giant spider plant, and 1 ten acre plot of land with a 2 story ranch style house on it, plus other small items. Does that sound right to you Mr. Snore, and does all that sound like meaningless gifts to you?!" Al Snore grinned, "May I see the list?" A man took the list from Czar and gave it to Snore, "Hmmm, nope nothing stands out here in my opinion, besides the gifts were all returned." "Only after this investigation began, correct?" Czar added. "And you don't think the house was a gift that stood out?" "No sir." Snore replied. "It wasn't a gift, merely a loan." "A loan of a house?" Czar repeated. "Yes sir." Snore affirmed. "Miss Stravinsky needed a place to stay." Czar paused letting the silence draw out, "So he let her borrow the house?" "Yes." Snore answered. "Then why were the deeds and other paperwork all in her name at that time." Snore cocked his head briefly, "In name only, to fool the press." In back the reporters were scribbling there notes as Czar continued, "In name only, to fool the press. Then I assume Miss Stravinsky was reimburse for taxes and such?" Snore shook his head, "No, she needed a place, she paid all that instead of rent." Czar wrote in his notes, "So President Clayton owned this house and land that she paid the expenses on?" Snore hesitated a long time, "Yes." Mumbled voices and some angry cries were heard as Czar banged his gavel for silence.
Czar steepled his hands, "Would I be correct in saying that the President never used that piece of property himself?" "Only friends." Snore answered. "He often let friends stay there." Czar rubbed his chin, "And just what friends other than Miss Stravinsky ever stayed there?" Snore coughed, "Plenty I'm sure, but I wouldn't know specifically because it's not my responsibility." "So, the President bought a house in a very expensive area just outside of DC, even though he never uses it himself and isn't required to own it, and still owns a home back in his native Utah, and it's your belief that friends of the president use it all the time?" Czar said. Snore paused, "Yes, that's essentially correct."
Czar couldn't restrain a smirk as reporters wrote furiously, and Snore showed signs of being somewhat nervous. "So, if you don't know exactly who used the property in question, can you suggest who would?" Czar asked. Snore paused to think, "The chief of Staff Mr. Alexander Vague., and possibly his personal secretary Miss Bond, Jan Bond." Czar writes a few notes, "Thank you, now one last thing." He pointed behind him to a large curtain, which opened to reveal a huge crate, "This is the crate we were talking about, as you can see its large enough for a half dozen people or so, providing they watch their heads. We found it in a government storehouse, all identification markings erased, and no indication what had been inside, any ideas Mr. Snore?" Snore straightened his tie, "None sir, I've never seen it before nor heard anything about it." The curtain closed and Czar wrote more notes, "Thank you Mr. Snore for being with us today."
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Day 38, 2:12 PM, Congressional hearing room,
"Now sir, as White House Chief of Staff have you ever had cause to assign special duties to Miss Stravinsky that would allow her to spend extended periods of time away from her workplace?" Czar said as he continued his questioning of Alexander Vague. "That's not exactly one of my duties." Vague replied. "I merely manage the supervisors of each department." Czar barely hesitated, "So why is it that testimony given here says that you sometimes called to verify that her disappearances were because she was doing other official work?" "I never did so." he proclaimed flatly. "So, Miss Lucinda chips and several other witnesses lied." Czar said tentatively. "Yes," Mr. Vague restated. "Why would they lie sir?" Czar asked. "I have no idea." Mr. Vague said while he drummed his fingers.
Czar wrote in his notes as reporters did also, "Now Mr. Vague, what can you tell me about the 10 acre property Mr. Clayton owns." "He keeps it for friends." came the answer. "Just how many different friends have stayed their over the years?" Czar immediately asked. Vague didn't hesitate, "Many." "How many?" Czar said with a sigh. "Very many." came the answer. Czar paused, took a deep breath, "Mr. Vague, over the years how many people exactly stayed at Mr. Clayton's 10 acre house and property just outside of town?" Vague paused, consulted his notes, "I... don't know really, but I'm sure it was a lot." Czar steepled his hands again, "Mr. Vague, is it possible to get an exact number from you on this?" "No sir, I never kept track." Vague replied. Czar paused as if thinking, "Would your secretary have kept track?" "Miss Bond? No, she wouldn't have kept track either." came the reply.
Czar leaned back to think, he felt that Vague wasn't telling all he knew but didn't know how to proceed with him on that issue, so he moved on. He waved a hand to someone at one side of the dais, and the curtain behind him parted to reveal the crate, "Mr. Vague, have you ever seen or dealt with this crate before?" "I don't believe so." Vague replied. "You mean you may have?" Czar pushed. "I don't think so, but maybe." Vague said. "But what would it be used for? I suppose some large computer or something, maybe a piece of furniture."
Czar invited Mr. Vague to examine the crate closely. Alexander Vague walked all around the crate, examined the outside, then pulled open the end to examine the inside, "Nice crate, sturdily built, but not much light gets inside." The men returned to their seats, "Now sir, any fresh ideas on where the crate came from." Czar asked "No sir." Vague answered again. Czar shuffled some more papers, "We found the crate had no markings on it, or should I say the few their were had been deliberately removed or otherwise destroyed beyond recognition. However, I had some men go through it with a fine tooth comb, and they found this." Czar held up his hand, a small greenish object pinched between his finger and thumb. "This Mr. Vague is a scale, one of a half dozen found inside the crate. An expert tells me they're from a reptile, probably a snake, a very large snake, does any of that sound familiar?" Czar said with a triumphant look on his face. Vague studied his papers, "Now I remember, that crate was bought from a zoo to be used in moving some large lawn and garden equipment from Camp Davidson to the White House. It wasn't part of the budget, so I had to approve it out of the discretionary fund. I've got the papers right here." Czar's face dropped slightly as he took the paperwork, and scanning it briefly he found all in order. Inwardly he curse Clayton for anticipating this, he had thought wherever the scales led was sure to be the clincher on the case, now it just seemed to be another dead end, and more reason for the public to call for the ending of the investigation. He also cursed Vague, who never seemed to have the answers, unless they went in his favor.
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Day 42, 1:30 PM, Congressional hearing room,
Czar bangs his gavel, "I'm calling this 42nd day of hearings reopened, and we're all on time for a change. I hope everyone had a good lunch?" Mutters go through the hall, but Ben Czar ignores it, not really expecting an answer to his comment anyway. He shuffles through his papers then sits straight, "I had hoped that the President could be here today, but it seems that his wife had a sudden attack of what we think is appendicitis. Needless to say he's staying with his wife and keeping in contact with the oval office, but he's naturally unable to break away to appear here today." Mild chuckling goes through the hall and Czar ignores it.
"Now." Czar continues. "We have a surprise witness today, someone who should be able to clear up everything regarding the crate. We tried to find the 2 secret service people but they seem to have dropped off the face of the Earth. We tracked down the delivery company, but found that 2 of the 6 delivery men have died, while 3 cannot be found. One however has been found, and is hear with us today." Reporters mumble and write notes frantically as Czar continued, "It's the Blonde foreman Miss Lucinda Chips told us of, apparently he's been right here under our noses all this time. My understanding is that Mr. Burger saw some of the coverage of the hearings in the news, realized that he was possibly wanted to give testimony, and so he got in contact with the law offices of Fish, Rod, Bait, and Tackle. Mr. Fish contacted Miss Lucinda Chips, and introduced them." He paused, "Now Miss Chips did not immediately contact me, I can't guess why, but she was under no obligation to do so. Apparently the 2 of them became... close over the next few days, and they did meet with Dora Chips for legal advice."
Czar signaled a man at the door in back, who opened it and ushered a tall blonde man and Miss Dora Chips into the room. They walked down the isle, each taking a seat, and Dora Chips opened her briefcase on the table. Czar smiled, "Good to see you again Miss Chips, and nice to finally get to meet you young man, may I ask how your doing? I half expected a delivery man to come in wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but instead your in a rather nice suit." The blonde man gave a grudging smile, "Delivering stuff is a part time job, it pays well enough to put a roof over my head while I go to school, barely though, but that's changed lately." "Oh, please explain." asked Czar, only half interested but wanting this young man to relax. "I'm living with someone right now, and she and I plan to go into law together after I finish my studies, and we both are able to practice on our own." Czar's attention perked up a bit, "Oh, and who might the lucky lady be?" Dora Chips began blushing, and Czar grinned "Why Miss Chips, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. You 2 will make a fine couple, and I look forward to the opening of the law offices of Burger and Chips."
"So," Czar continued. "Everything's going well so far I hope Mr. Burger." "Joel please." he replied. "And yes, it's going well, although it's a bit cramped with 3 of us in the apartment." Dora hit his arm, "Three?" Czar said in clear curiosity. Dora hid her head behind the top of her open briefcase, "Yes sir, Dora and I are sharing a place with her sister." Burger said casually. The reporters were going wild with their note taking, "Three of you in one small apartment, isn't their a privacy problem?" Czar asked. "Oh no!" Burger said with a smile. "No privacy problems, it's more like the 3 of us have no secrets and we share everything, if y'know what I mean." he said with a wink. Dora Chips seemed about ready to disappear through the table. but Joel seemed oblivious, "Yeah, I even learned Lucinda has a tattoo, and why they gave Dora that nickname of Sili, It's short for Silicon y'know." Czar cleared his throat, "Yes, well lets move on now, and Miss Chips, please remove your hands from Mr. Burgers throat, this is an official government hearing. You can deal with personal problems later." Dora sat straight, brushing her hair with her fingers as she looked forward and took a deep breath, "Sorry sir, that won't happen again." Joel straightened his tie and whispered "PMS." The microphone caught it anyway, and Dora gave him a look that could've burned a hole through him.
Czar pulled out a paper, and signaled a man to open the curtains behind him to reveal the huge crate. "Now Mr. Burger, have you ever seen this crate before?" Czar asked. "Oh yes." Burger answered. "I was on the team that brought it to the White House." "How many of you were their, and were you escorted by anyone?" Czar said as he reached for a glass of water. Burger paused, "There were 6 of us, and we were escorted by 2 guys in suits. Actually 1 guy, the other was a brunette babe with an awesome figure. I'd never forget that one, sexy as hell, and I never could resist a chick in a suit. Ouch!!!" he blurted out as he jerked in his seat and moved his leg.
Czar tried to ignore the under the table communication, but noted the reporters were drinking it all in. Inwardly he was somewhat concerned that this monkey business might distract them from the important task of burying Clayton. Czar decided to go right for the point, "Mr. Burger, do you know what was in the crate?" Burger turned from Dora, "Yes sir, lawn and gardening tools." Somewhat surprised Czar took a few moments before continuing, "Where did you pick up this crate?" "At the airport, not the nearest one, the Benedict Arnold Airport about 50 miles from DC." Burger said. "So you read the papers that came with the crate which said it was full of lawn and gardening tools?" Czar suggested. Burger held up a finger, "Your trying to lead me sir. Actually, we did look inside, we have to so as to be sure we aren't carrying anything dangerous, and of course the airport authorities want to make sure we're not bringing a bomb or something through. It was full of lawn and gardening tools alright, a few big machines and some smaller cardboard boxes with small tools in them."
Czar hesitated several seconds, "Uh, after arriving with the crate at the White House, I understand you had some difficulties getting it inside." "Yes." Burger continued. "That's when Lucinda Chips came along and offered us directions. That man in the suit tried to chase her off, but she didn't scare easily. I was the foreman, so I told him to back off since we needed all the advice we could get, and the package might not get delivered without her help. That shut him up for a while, at least until after we had the directions from her." Czar interrupted, "When did these Secret Service agents begin escorting you?" "As soon as we arrived at the airport." Burger answered. "They were waiting by the crate, and followed our truck all the way to the White House." Czar wrote a note, "So please continue, what happened after Lucinda Chips gave you directions?" Burger waved a hand slightly, "She left, and we went to the rear door she had told us of. Once their we had much less trouble trying to get the crate inside, although we did have some difficulties at the last few hallways, and ended up opening the crate and moving the items inside individually." Czar took another sip of water, "Did anyone see you open the crate inside the White House?" "Only Miss Stravinsky." he replied. "When we had to open it, she had to come by and examine the contents, then sign a paper. I guess they wanted to make sure nothing was missing." Czar began to ask if he had a copy of the paper, just as Dora Chips was pulling it out of her briefcase. Dora walked the paper to him and he studied it for a few moments, "It seems to be in order." Czar rubbed his chin, "Didn't it seem strange to you that all that lawn and gardening equipment was being put deep inside the white house where you placed it?" Burger paused, "A bit, but who am I to say, I just deliver the stuff."
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Day 47, 10:30 AM, White House Library,
Czar was a bit perturbed. The one thing he thought couldn't fail had, Mr. Burger had to be lying about what was in the crate, but he couldn't prove it. Vague had stone walled he knew, and Snore hadn't been much help, he gagged at the thought that Snore might be the next president. Lucinda Chips hadn't been any help, except in regards to the tapes. He knew some tapes were missing though, but again they weren't marked so he couldn't prove that either. Now finally Clayton had agreed to meet with him that day, but it had to be in the library which was close to the oval office, and it had to be just the 2 of them, and a stenographer of course. Their would be no cameras, no reporters, no crowd, just Clayton and himself, and he couldn't wait.
Ben Czar rose as the President entered the room, his slightly curly blonde hair showing some age with it's touch of grey, but not much. They shook hands, exchanged greetings, then moved to opposite sides of a small circle of tables. Czar began with the usual pleasantries, then moved into the topics at hand. Clayton always either didn't know, stuck to one of his many contradictory stories while ignoring the rest, or rambled on in a totally different direction. Czar pushed though, trying to cut the disjointed speeches short without being impolite, and coming at touchy subjects in a roundabout manner. When they got into the question of the tapes, Paul Clayton seemed to get nervous, so Czar attacked the subject. However, Clayton seemed to have explanations for everything. He had admitted to the public months ago about having an ongoing affair with Veronica Stravinsky, but had weaseled out of perjury charges with a lame excuse about his untruth not being technically a lie under oath, and the court had swallowed it. Czar had suspicions that this also had been rigged by Clayton supporters, but again he couldn't prove it.
When Czar was starting to cover the same material for the 3rd time, Clayton's beeper went off. When Clayton got off his cell phone he smiled, "I must apologize Mr. Czar, it seems I'm needed, something about an earthquake in California triggering off mudslides, forest fires, tornadoes, and floods. I must deal with this immediately." They shook hands, and Clayton left Czar to deal with the emergency situation that had arisen.
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Day 51, 9:05 AM, Congressional hearing room,
Czar was early that day, and sitting alone he reviewed the case in his head, only occasionally referring to notes. Clayton had outmaneuvered him at almost every turn of the case, with plenty of people around him to bolster his story, and a majority of the public willing to swallow whatever drivel he sold them, overlooking even the largest inconsistencies. Czar couldn't help admiring how devious the man was, and he didn't seem all that smart. Nothing had panned out, even the dress that had his DNA on it had been ignored, the majority of the public preferring to give the benefit of a small doubt to him, and thus the majority of the congress went along with the public. The issue of the crate had failed , and the snake scales therefore meant nothing, although Czar wasn't sure what they would have meant anyway.
They had found the owner of the scales, a 32 foot Green and Black Anaconda named Gwenavere who lived at the Six Hills Zoo, which up until 10 years ago had been a public high school, that eventually had fallen to the budget ax. The decision had been made that it was too far gone to be safely used as a school anymore, and would cost far too much to fix, therefore it had been bulldozed to become part of a state of the art zoo. Gwenavere had a nice room indoors, where she needed some protection from the winters in DC. The winters in the area weren't too bad, but they were more than a cold blooded anaconda could handle.
Apparently Gwenavere had spent a wonderful 5 years at this zoo, and only 2 teens had been eaten. Gwenavere's tank had become some sort of rite of passage among the teens who dared each other to run through. The reports said that over several months time, more than 2 dozen had made the run in one side, through the tank keeping as far from Gwenavere as possible and going as fast as they could, and out a door at the far side. Then 2 got careless, a boy and a girl, and they were caught, squeezed to death, and swallowed while their friends watched. New security went up, but the teens seemed to have lost their desire to try again anyway. A great cry had gone out for Gwenavere's destruction, but a greater cry for the protection of the world's largest snake in captivity won out. Time passed, Gwenavere was relegated to old news and forgotten, and despite Czar's prodding the keepers swear that Gwenavere had never left the zoo since arriving, except for a trip to San Diego for an attempted mating with a male anaconda of the same subspecies at a zoo out there. The male was smaller, only 22 feet long, but his tank was far bigger. Either tank would due for them to live in during the mating attempt, but Gwenavere's tank offered no real elbow room nor safety for handlers trying to get the male out, while the male's tank offered much more room thus safety for the handlers, plus they could lower a partition between the 2 snakes once they had moved apart.
Czar thought about all the other witnesses, some crackpots who he had never called to testify, and he thought of all the hard evidence that the public was dismissing. He desperately wanted to talk with one of the other delivery men, or Veronica Stravinsky herself, but none of them could be found. Rumors had it that Miss Stravinsky had run off to Europe, paid off in secret by the President, and other rumors said she was dead and buried in secret, or her body dropped into the giant pit where all the radioactive materials were being dumped. Other rumors said the body had been weighted down and sunk in thousands of feet of water, or dropped into a volcano, there seemed to be no end to the gruesome rumors. Czar flipped through his briefcase, noting some of the stories in a local rag paper. Normally it covered all sorts of junk, 2 headed babies, Bigfoot riding a motorcycle, and so on, but this issue had come out just after Burger's testimony, and he had kept it in his briefcase hoping to learn something, then he just forgot to get rid of it. It's supposedly hard news headline said, "Burger has double order of Chips." Czar reached over and dropped the paper into a small trash receptacle.
The reporters and the crowd began to roll in and take their seats. Czar had witnesses today, some women with little credibility who claimed sexual harassment at the hands of then Governor Clayton. He knew the fight was over though, fewer reporters showed up, the TV camera was still here but the ratings for this event were going down since Clayton's appearance. Barring something totally unforeseen, things seemed to have come to a conclusion for the most part. He still had a mandate though, to seek out new life in old reports, and to pursue to the utmost any perjury he detected. He would nit-pick, and find some sniveling little crime by someone to justify everything, and keep himself regularly employed as long as possible. After all, Veronica Stravinsky might be found, then the entire situation would change. He noticed that everyone was ready, and he cleared his throat and thought to himself, "I know I'm missing something!"
The end
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By Py