*All similarities to a busty, video game tomb-raider is purely co-incidental. Really. Trust me. Would I lie to you?
Lara pushed her way into the tomb. It had taken hours of sweaty work in the harsh desert to batter down the limestone door that blocked the way. Any archaeologist worth his or her salt would have been horrified at the idea of entering a tomb this way, but Lara did not have time for the weeks of work and careful documentation a real dig would entail. The passageway was barely wide enough for her to slide her slim, hard-muscled form, limestone pressed in on her from all sides as she inched her way forward in the darkness. The air was still and musky with the scents of ancient perfumes and incense. Lara pushed on. At last she came to the end of the passage. Before her lay the burial chamber itself, but Lara ignored the hieroglyphs and treasures strewn about her. Working quickly, Lara lit the torches she carried in her backpack and the lamps, still filled with oil and incense after a thousand years. She strode to the massive sarcophagus that was the object of her search and began to speak the chant she had memorized from the ancient tome she had translated in the Cairo Museum of antiquity.
Lara smiled as she watched the sarcophagus open; mist poured out of it and a supernatural glow filled the chamber. A woman's body emerged from the mist. She was breathtakingly beautiful, thought Lara, smiling at her choice of words. From the waist up, she was a slender, dark-skinned woman with large inviting breasts; her cold beauty was identical to the pictures of dancers and courtesans depicted in Egyptian tomb paintings. Below the waist, however, her body was that of a giant constricting serpent. Lara felt her body grow warm as she watched the glittering coils spill forth from the sarcophagus, imagining them winding around her body, squeezing... The snake woman slid gracefully from the sarcophagus and drew her coils into a nest that her human torso rose from like a cobra. The gorgeous face was now a mask of fury as she regarded Lara.
"Who dares disturb the sleep of Kalit-Ur?" the she hissed.
"Do you see anyone else here?" asked Lara, placing her hands on her hips. God, these supernatural beings were such cornballs, Lara thought, rolling her eyes.
"Foolish mortal," the snake woman hissed, pretending she had not heard the impudent tone in the woman's voice. "Know you, that to disturb my eternal rest means death!?"
"I would hate to have busted in here if that wasn't true." said Lara as she pulled off her cropped T-shirt and shimmied out of her tight cutoff jeans. She sat down and began to unlace her boots and pulled them off.
"If it's all the same to you, I want to be naked when you take me into your coils." Lara continued matter of factly. " I had a boyfriend who owned a big snake and I loved to feel it against my bare skin".
The snake woman stared in utter amazement. Usually at this point, tomb robbers were gibbering in fear, begging for their lives. At last the woman was naked except for a curious frame in front of her eyes that held two round pieces of rose-tinted glass and leather hand coverings that left her fingers bare. Kalit-Ur had to admit that the woman was attractive. Her body was lean and muscular, a bit on the thin side, yet her breasts were nearly as large as her head and stood upright and firm as a young girl's.
"Are you a wizard, come to test your magic against me?" asked the snake woman warily.
"I wish!" Chuckled Lara. "Let's get this show on the road, babe!"
Lara strode over to the snake woman, eyeing the massive coils that glittered in the torchlight. She stepped into the middle of the coils and sat down, then started to pull them around her.
"What are you doing?" cried the snake woman as Lara rolled, winding the lamia's coils around herself.
"You can start squeezing anytime you wish." said Lara. "And make it quick. Hot-Teee, the Hideous is right behind me."
"Hot-Tee, the Hideous?" Asked the lamia, pushing her coils away from the woman who seemed bent on wrapping them around herself. This was too much for Kalit-Ur. She was used to people begging and struggling to get out of those coils. "Hot-Tee...I remember her from my previous life...she was a priestess of the god Set..."
"Yeah, I desecrated her tomb and she intends to lay the Thirteen Curses of Egypt on me." said Lara nonchalantly. She was enveloped in coils now, only her head and shoulders were free. A big grin split Lara's face as she caressed the two-foot-thick coils "Like I said, I've always had a thing for big snakes, so I figured I'd rather go out this way than by some thirteen messy curses."
Kalit-Ur was horrified. The woman was enjoying this entirely too much!
"Now you stop that!" scolded the lamia, smacking Lara's hands away. The more Kalit-Ur struggled to unwind herself, the more the woman pulled her closer.
"Whatcha gonna do, kill me?" Lara chuckled as she cupped one of Kalit-Ur's breasts.
Before the confused lamia could say a word, there was an explosion and the wall crumbled to dust. Out of the cloud of masonry dust and shards strode a regal looking woman naked except for a few shreds of bandages around her breasts and hips. Her body was every bit as magnificent as the lamia's upper half, her huge breasts stretching the ancient linen to the breaking point. She also wore the double crown of an ancient Pharaoh and a jeweled collar. Kalit-Ur did not quite understand why such a beauty was called, "The Hideous".
"What the fuck is going on here!?" cried the living mummy. "Unhand that grave-robbing bitch. She's mine!"
"Wait a minute," said the lamia. "I have just as much right to her as you do!"
"Will you start squeezing!" hissed Lara. Things were not working out very well, she sighed, wondering if she would die before Hot-Tee could cast the Thirteen Curses spell.
"Do it and die, worm-woman!" shouted Hot-Tee.
"Worm-woman!?" Screeched the lamia. "I don't have to take insults from some...evaporated cunt like you!"
"Don't make me bitch-slap you." said Hot-Tee, taking a step towards the lamia and Lara. "That woman is mine!"
"Let's dance, cocksucker!" shouted the lamia as she lashed her serpent half, unwinding Lara and sending her spinning across the tomb like a yo-yo freed from its string. Kalit-Ur then launched herself at Hot-Teee.
"I'm gonna rip those rags off you and stuff them down your throat!" the enraged snake woman hissed.
The two combatants tore into each other like guests on a particularly good Jerry Springer episode. Neither woman was a good fighter, having depended on their supernatural abilities for dealing with their enemies. So the battle immediately degenerated into a catfight with lots of slapping, scratching and hair pulling. Hot-Tee dug her fingernails into Kalit-Ur's breasts and twisted for all she was worth. Remembering her main weapon, Kalit-Ur wrapped a coil around Hot-Tee's waist and began to squeeze as hard as she could. Hot-Tee let go of Kalit-Ur's breasts and tried to push away the foot-thick band of muscle squeezing the breath from her. Kalit-Ur grinned in triumph and slowly wound another coil around Hot-Tee, who desperately pushed against it trying to prevent it from encircling her chest. It was futile. The second coil slid over the first, trapping Hot-Tee's arms.
"Not so tough now are you?" Laughed Kalit-Ur. Hot-Tee gave the lamia a venomous glare as she struggled in vain against the steely coils surrounding her.
"Hey, save some of that for me!" Shouted Lara as she scrambled to her feet and brushed the dust off her bruised fanny. She ran over to the two women -- one and a half women actually, and threw herself onto them just in Time to be encircled by the third coil Kalit-Ur was slowly wrapping around Hot-Tee.
Lara was pinned face-to-face with Hot-Tee.
"This is all your fault!" spat the living mummy.
"Ain't it cool?" Grinned Lara. "Kalit, love, let's have another coil here! And, a bit more squeezing!"
Kalit complied, winding her coils around the two women, enveloping them from shoulders to hips; watching in utter amazement as Lara squirmed against Hot-Tee. The two women's breasts were pressed almost flat against each other and Lara managed to get a hand in position to rub Hot-Tee's sex.
"You are enjoying this?" Kalit said, not comprehending any of it. "But...I am killing you..."
"There are worse ways to go..." murmured Lara as Kalit tightened her coils a bit. "I have nothing to lose."
"I could release you..." said Kalit. She knew that something here was not quite right, but could not quite figure it out.
"You can't," gasped Lara. Hot-Tee was responding to Lara's probing fingers, grinding her hips against the other woman's hand. Lara kissed Hot-Tee deeply, tongue snaking into her mouth. She broke contact long enough to finish her statement. "I woke you from your sleep... you have to kill me..." Hot-Tee returned the kiss with much eagerness.
The sight of the two beautiful women taking pleasure from each other began to have its effect on Kalit-Ur. She felt herself becoming aroused. She had never lain with another woman, but the sight before her made her willing to try it. After all, it had been nearly 2,000 years since she had known the pleasure of lying with a man. She touched one of Hot-Tee's breasts, marveling at the softness and heaviness of it, then she cupped one of Lara's.
"This is not truly flesh, no?" she asked puzzled by the unusual firmness of the woman's bosom.
"Silicone," gasped Lara. "My ex had a big boob fetish...paid for...having them done...not too shabby, no?"
Kalit pushed Hot-Tee aside and kissed Lara. Minutes later, the tomb was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and moans, then the cries of ecstasy of three women -- two and a half actually.
Sated, Kalit-Ur lay spent between the two women, her coils draped loosely about the pair.
"What I'd give for a cigarette right now!" sighed Lara.
"This was most...interesting." Sighed Kalit-Ur. "but shouldn't we be killing Lara now, Hot-Tee?"
"I couldn't bring myself to do it." chuckled Hot-Tee.
"Nor could I." Said Kalit-Ur, drawing the two closer.
"Ready for round two?" Asked Lara as she slipped from the two being's embrace. She went over to her pile of discarded clothing and gear and began to dig into her backpack. She cast Kalit-Ur and Hot-Tee a wicked grin and drew forth a blunt, phallic object from the backpack. The two supernatural beings watched with interest as Lara did something to the thing and it began to buzz. She walked back to the pair, whistling the opening bars of the Beach Boys', "Good Vibrations".
The Junglerot Kid