Disclaimer: Not mine, as per usual.
Warnings: Yaoi, Humour, Yami doing bad things to a vegetable, sort-of Kaiba torture...
Author: Koneko Shido
A/N: More, 'cause I'm enjoying letting these two torment poor Kaiba. Yeah, I know Yami isn't this evil really, but what the hell. Yugi is away, so he can do what he wants, right? Mwahah. And Bakura *is* this evil.
Twist - Chapter 3
"Ssssetttto, can we sleep in your room?" Bakura hissed, licking the back of the CEO's neck and chuckling in that husky, evil way of his. Seto shivered.
"Can we sleep in your bed?" Yami added, his fingers lightly tickling the brunette's taut stomach.
"There's not a chance in hell I'm letting either of you near me tonight. My room has four locks on the door, so don't even try it." Kaiba growled, trying not to twitch as he led the two yamis along the halls of his huge mansion towards the kitchen.
"I'm a thief. I'm very good at picking locks," Bakura mentioned casually. "Not that I'd ever dream of breaking into your room and molesting you in the middle of the night while you're asleep."
Yami snorted at that.
"Like hell you wouldn't." He said. Bakura took a moment to think about this then shrugged, smirking.
"Yeah, you're right, I probably will." He admitted evilly. Seto twitched again. As the day had worn on he'd been doing that more and more. Together these two were pure evil. Sexy, sexy evil. He was thinking bad thoughts again, but he quickly crushed them with his iron will. No bad thoughts for him. No. Bad influence for Mokuba. He was going to be his usual ice queen self and completely ignore their blatant flirting and inhuman sexiness. Yes. Good plan. He liked having a plan. It made him feel more secure about the whole situation. Still, he thought back to the four heavy locks on his bedroom door and decided that he would probably need more protection than that.
"I'm sleeping with a gun under my pillow." He muttered.
"We're already dead, you know." Yami mentioned, looking at his nails and wondering vaguely if red or black nail varnish would suit him better. It was nice to have a break from dueling for a while.
"Come near me tonight and I will find a way to make you both *more* dead." Seto growled, leading them into the large, well-lit kitchen.
"Ooo, scary." Bakura leered, then noticed the shiny silver tops of the counters and wandered over to stare fixedly at them for a while. Seto watched him, slightly puzzled.
"What," he asked Yami, "is he doing?"
Yami smirked and sauntered over to the fridge, opening it and rummaging around inside as though he'd lived in the mansion all his life.
"He likes shiny things. That's actually the real reason he was after the sennen items all along. They're very shiny. I gave him some shiny coins and he stopped trying to kill me and take my puzzle." The pharaoh explained, carefully examining a cucumber, running his fingers over it in the most perverted way possible.
"Are you going to eat that or just fondle it?" Bakura rasped out in amusement, having sated his lust for shiny-ness for the moment.
"That depends. How much would you pay to watch me eat it?" Yami asked, running his tongue up the side of the lucky vegetable.
"You're a whore now?" Bakura raised an eyebrow mockingly.
"It's better than being a bitch." The pharaoh replied easily, nibbling on the cucumber.
"Are you calling me a bitch?!" Bakura growled.
"LANGUAGE!" Seto cut in, fully aware that Mokuba was home and could walk in at any moment. To his surprise both Bakura and Yami stopped their little argument and turned their most perverted versions of puppy dog eyes on him, smiling eerily.
"Yes, daddy." They both said in perfect unison, like something from 'village of the damned'. Seto practiced his 'deer in headlights' look and backed away slowly towards the door.
"I have to... be elsewhere. There are video games in the room at the end of the hall and a pool out back. Don't break anything or kill my brother." With that, Seto hastily vacated the room and left Bakura, Yami and the cucumber alone in the kitchen.
"Heheheheh." Bakura cackled darkly.
"Is something amusing? I think we scared Kaiba off." Yami frowned at the door Seto had exited through.
"Kaiba has a pool. Heheh. Oh, the possibilities." The tomb robber rubbed his hands together in evil glee.
"Indeed," Yami stopped frowning at the door.
"Ok, first one to drown is a woman." Bakura grinned psychotically, fingers twitching manically again.
"Moron..." Yami muttered, rolling his eyes.
"What?!" Bakura tried to look innocent but failed, as usual.
"I was thinking of something more along the lines of us using our sexy, wet, naked, dripping selves to seduce Kaiba." The pharaoh said slowly, as though he were talking to a child. Bakura gave him a 'don't patronize me or I'll rip out your tongue' look, but the idea caught on quickly.
"Ooooh." He drawled, a smirk spreading creepily across his face as the possibilities dawned on him. "That works too."
* * *
TBC
Chapters are short, huh? Sorry, I work better with shorter chapters. I have the attention span of a dead goldfish. Hope you're enjoying it, please leave a review in the guestbook if I managed to make you smile!
- Koneko