"He has a point, you know." Bakura said after a moment, folding his arms. "Where the hell are we, anyway?" He took a moment to actually look around the room, taking in the large window, blue furnishings and huge desk Yami was sitting on. Plus the potted plant by the door which he took an instant disliking to. He decided he'd torture it to death later, when nobody was looking.
"We're in Kaiba's office." Yami stated, pointing to Seto, who glared at him.
"We are? Oh." Bakura muttered, not particularly seeming to care.
"*Why* are you freaks here?" Seto demanded, pinching the bridge of his nose as a headache began to set in.
"Yugi is at camp. That's what this note says, anyway. I don't remember, I was sleeping off... something." Yami seemed puzzled for a moment.
"Was it clear?" Bakura asked, taking a seat in the middle of the floor and fiddling with the pointy bits on his sennen ring, which he'd swiped off Kaiba's desk.
"I think so." Yami nodded.
"Ah. Vodka." Bakura said knowingly.
"And just why the hell would Yugi ask *me* of all people to babysit you?" Seto growled, clutching his coffee cup with a death grip.
"Because I was drunk and happened to say something along the lines of 'Kaiba looks sexy in that trench coat.' Now Yugi thinks he's matchmaking." Yami admitted offhandedly, as though it didn't really matter to him. Seto killed his blush mechanism and glared.
"What makes Yugi think he can trust me?"
To Seto's annoyance, both Bakura and Yami burst out laughing at that.
"Is something amusing?" He snarled.
"Yugi trusts *everyone*, Kaiba. He trusts Marik, all of the Ghouls, Malik, even *me*. Heheh." The white haired grave robber smirked. Seto had to admit, he did have a point there. Yugi had once freely given his puzzle over to one of the Ghouls, after all. The kid had problems.
"Grr. Fine, then what's *your* excuse?" He glared pointedly at Bakura, who was eyeing his pot plant evilly.
"Me? No idea. Call my hikari and find out, how the hell should I know? I was asleep too. I mixed all this crap I found under the kitchen sink together and drank it. Then I think I killed someone... can't really remember. It might have been the mail guy." The thief said lazily, now eyeing Yami up, because the pharaoh was wearing more leather than a hell's angel.
"Fine, I will." Seto muttered, picking up the phone and looking expectantly at Bakura for the number. Yami rattled it off after a moment of Bakura looking blank, as if *he* ever used the telephone for anything other than bludgeoning Ryou's pets to death.
"Hello?" Came a soft voice from the other end after a few rings, and Seto noticed it sounded slightly breathless.
"Ryou Bakura?" He growled.
"Kaiba?" Ryou asked in surprise, then gave a muffled yelp. "Just a moment!" The hikari cried, then covered the phone. Seto could still hear the muffled sounds, though. It mostly consisted of Ryou saying something along the lines of 'Otogi, I'm on the phone! You can't do that! Ahh! Stoppit! Mhhh... Yessss.... Wait... No, phone! Bad Otogi! Down! Bad!'
"Ahh... Sorry about that..." Ryou laughed nervously as he uncovered the phone again. "Just... uh... a bee or something flying around...OWW!! He *pinched* me! Uh, I mean... it stung me! Yes!" Ryou squeaked. Seto wondered if he was the only normal person left on the planet. He also seemed to be the only person not being molested, since Bakura now had Yami pinned to the desk and was nipping as his throat, right in front of Seto. He was trying not to look. Yami was making some very... interesting noises.
"Look, your insane alter ego is here, do you want him back?" Seto frowned, attempting not to notice that Bakura's pale fingers were sliding down Yami's leather-clad thigh.
"What? Bakura? No! Keep him!! That bastard!! I want some alone time until Yugi and everyone else get back from camp, so until then he's all yours. Thanks Kaiba! Bye now! Don't give him sugar!" And Ryou put the phone down.
"Grrrrrrrrr." Seto said through clenched teeth.
"Mmmmhhh...." Yami moaned, arching his back up from the desk as Bakura ground against him.
"Ryou apparently doesn't want you back." Seto informed the tomb robber, who just shrugged and continued nipping at Yami's collarbone for a moment, until he paused and got a thoughtful look on his face.
"Wait... something's coming back to me... Oh yeah, now I know why he's so pissed off at me. Probably that kid I stuffed in the washing machine. Or it could've been all the old people I locked in the basement. Hmm." The thief mused.
"Well you can't stay here." Seto said firmly.
"Yes we can." Yami smirked, looking at Seto upside down with his sultry purple eyes, because Bakura was undoing the buckles on the front of his leather shirt slowly, taking his time and running his cool fingers over every exposed inch of the pharaoh's smooth skin. Seto could feel a trickle of sweat rolling down his back as he tried not to be affected by what the two spirits were doing. Oh no, they were *not* spending two weeks with him.
"No you can't. And get off my desk." He glared. To his surprise, Bakura and Yami obeyed and stood back, the pharaoh doing up his belts and the thief smiling creepily, as if something were about to happen. What, were they going to use those glowy powers on him or something? Mind control? Or maybe-
"Big brother!!" Mokuba cried happily as he burst through the double doors to the office, rushing over to Seto but stopping short as he noticed Yami and Bakura standing there, smirking at his big brother.
"Yami! Bakura! What are you guys doing here?" He asked, smiling at them.
"They were just leav-"
"Hello Mokuba. Your big brother agreed to let us both stay with him while Yugi is at camp, because we don't have anywhere else to go. Wasn't that kind of him? Your big brother is so wonderful, isn't he Mokuba?" Yami smiled. Seto almost screeched. Bakura just edged closer to the pot plant, fingers twitching with the urge to shred.
"Really, big brother? You're so awesome!" Mokuba gushed, bouncing around the desk to throw his arms around Seto while Yami looked smug and Kaiba looked murderous.
"Mokuba, I-" Seto began, gritting his teeth.
"You're the best big brother ever!" Mokuba announced, then gave a big, ecstatic smile and hopped off Seto's lap, turning and running for the door. "I'll get the maid to get two extra rooms ready, and we'll have to cook for two extra, and I'll get all my video games out!" With that, Mokuba ran out of the room and pulled the doors shut behind him.
"It looks like we're staying. You wouldn't want to disappoint your little brother now, would you?" Bakura chuckled wickedly, walking away from the now stripped pot plant and stalking up behind Yami, wrapping his arms around the pharaoh's waist and nipping at the side of his neck.
"You manipulative little-"
"You should be nice to your guests." Yami cut Seto off, tilting his head to the side to let Bakura's lips move down his throat.
This, Seto decided, was going to be a very, very long two weeks.
TBC
Why aren't Bakura and Yami trying to kill each other? No idea. I just figured they'd have a lot more fun groping each other instead. Meh, who needs story continuity? Screw it. Heheh. Tell me if you like it/hate it/whatever. ^_^
- Koneko