Sweet Psychosis 4 - Live Entertainment (Episode two, at last!)
At the very same moment, in the middle of a dark and possibly stormy night, two interesting things were happening. The first was fairly unusual and unnecessarily gory; an actress named Yukia Tsukimura, who happened to be not only rich, famous and talented, but was also possessed by a rather flaky nightbreed, was eating her manager's heart in the middle of the stage. She was being watched by a young understudy who happened to be a little short in the brains department and was about to try and make a deal with said flaky nightbreed to become a better actress, go on a horrific killing spree and then be killed. The nightbreed, being the flake it was, decided that this sounded like a *wonderful* idea, darling.
Meanwhile, somewhere on the outskirts of the city in a large mansion, two equally eccentric vampires were currently engaging in... other activities. No, not sex. Yet. It's far, far worse.
* * *
Shido sat on Cain's unnecessarily huge bed, wearing a tight black tee shirt and an indecently short and revealing pair of faded denim cut-offs. The shirt had a picture of a yellow smiley face on the front and he had his hair down, cascading over his barely-clad shoulders in violet waves. All in all, he looked like a very sexy version of a hippy.
He was only wearing the clothes because Cain was going through his closet for lack of anything better to do, and they'd caught his eye.
So now he was perched on the bed, watching Cain look through all the strange and unusual clothes they'd managed to collect over centuries of travelling around the world.
He smirked as Cain pulled out a wide black velvet hat with a plume of brightly coloured feathers adorning one side, looking like something one of the three musketeers might have worn. Shido put it on.
He was also, by this time, wearing a pair of fingerless leather biker's gloves, a black feather boa draped around his neck, a pair of soft deerskin boots and about twenty orange sparkly bangles up one arm. Yes, he was bored again. Cain just looked at him for a long moment with a raised eyebrow, then went back to what he was doing, seemingly thinking better of asking Shido why on earth he was playing dress up.
"Fine, ignore me." Shido said in his best 'see if I care' voice, picking up a pair of clogs from the end of the bed and glaring at them to see if he could make them burst into flames.
"I am not ignoring you, my Shido. If you want something to do, why don't you put this on?" Cain smirked, passing Shido a bundle of black and white cloth. Shido narrowed his eyes and unfolded it, raising an eyebrow at the lacy French maid's outfit he found himself holding. He stared at it for a while, then looked up at Cain.
"I'm not even going to ask why you have this, where you got it or why you kept it." He said, knowing that Cain would more than likely tell him anyway.
"I got it from France, unsurprisingly. And I kept it because I thought it would look good on you." Cain said, "But as for why I acquired it in the first place..." He looked vaguely puzzled for a moment then shrugged elegantly. "I have no idea. I'm sure it was for something suitably wicked, though."
"Riiiight. Ok, fine, I'll wear it. But don't expect me to start cooking for you or anything." Shido grinned evilly, stripping off his collection of feather boas and bangles.
"Don't worry, that wasn't quite what I had in mind." Cain smirked, picking a kimono out from his huge closet then putting it back, deciding to save *that* one for later.
* * *
Shido sat in his office the next day, with Riho and Guni, pretending to pay attention to the news on the television. Riho was saying something about some actress... or something. Shido didn't really care. He was listening to Cain's slightly worrying ramblings in his mind. Apparently the golden-haired vampire had gotten his hands on a magazine, god only knew how, and was doing some of the tests in it. He'd already completed 'find your perfect partner', 'which soap star are you?' and 'is your pet psychic?' He was now doing a sanity test. Ahh, the power of boredom.
//Hmm...// Cain was murmuring, and Shido could just picture him sitting on his favourite chair with Loki on his lap, filling in the stupid quiz thing. Loki. That demented hairball was spending *far* too much time with his beloved Cain. Damned cat.
As if able to sense what Shido was thinking somewhere across town, Loki gave a kitten smirk and stretched on Cain's lap, purring contentedly. Now all he had to do was get rid of Shido and everything would be perfect. Hmm... plotting...
Back across the city in his office, Shido sneezed. Riho blinked at him then went back to looking terribly upset over the news about her favourite actress' gory nasty suicide. Good for her. Shido listened to Cain reading out one of the questions.
// If someone insults you, do you:
a. Ignore them, you have better things to do than argue.
b. Insult them back and start a fight.
c. Kill them. Hmm...// Cain sounded thoughtful.
//B or C.// Shido offered. //Probably C.//
Cain marked off 'C' and carried on to the next question.
// You believe in:
a. Angels and fairies.
b. Santa and the Loch Ness monster.
b. Demons and vampires.// Cain read that over again and frowned. There was no option for all three.
//Everything except Santa.// Shido put in. //I'm not really sure about the Loch Ness Monster, but I've never seen any proof that it *doesn't* exist, so I'll go for it.//
//Quite.// Cain agreed, and ticked all the options, crossing out Santa, which he assumed had been invented by Disney, or something of the like. The joys of manipulating children.
The next question on the list was:
Is your ideal partner:
a. Intelligent and financially secure.
b. Handsome/beautiful, with a good sense of humour.
c. A psychopath/nymphomaniac/pyromaniac.
Cain thought about this for about a tenth of a second and ticked the last option. Psychopath was pretty obvious... Nymphomaniac, well, this was Shido. And Pyromaniac? Cain thought back to the time after Shido had fought his witch woman after she'd killed and eaten her entire village. Well, he had burned down the whole town after fighting her, which hadn't been entirely necessary. So yes, pyromaniac seemed valid.
//You like to drink:
a. White wine.
b. Beer/lager
c. Human blood.// Cain read out, smirking. Shido blinked. //I think that one is fairly obvious.//
//Just a tad.// Shido agreed, and Cain ticked option C.
After filling in the entire test, Cain read out the results.
//If your answers were mostly:
a. You are sophisticated and slightly eccentric, but not insane.
b. You are a normal person and you have nothing to worry about.
c. You should see your psychiatrist ASAP.//
//So which one did you get?// Shido asked.
//A.// Cain replied, smirking to himself.
//And which one did I get?// Shido wanted to know.
//Do you have a psychiatrist?// Cain wondered out loud, and Shido scowled.
//Charming. I want a second opinion.// Shido muttered, then noticed that Riho was looking at him expectantly as though she'd just spoken and was waiting for a reply.
"Uh... that's terrible." Shido said, guessing at what she'd been on about. Probably something along the lines of 'my favourite actress just died horribly, isn't that just the *worst* thing in the *world*? Oh, pity me! I'm traumatized!'
Shido snickered, covering it with his hand and trying to look upset and sympathetic.
At that moment Yayoi burst in dramatically, obviously having some vital piece of information which would result in Shido having to beat something up, as per usual. Shido went back to thinking about sex, which was what he had been doing before Cain's whole 'sanity test' episode. Ah yes, sex. Number one on his list of favourite recreational activities.
Sighing, Shido pretended to pay attention to whatever Yayoi was ranting on about, Riho's dramatic gasps of shock making him twitch with annoyance. Finally he decided he needed something else to do.
//Play a game with me?// Shido asked Cain, who was reading an article on the dangers of sticking one's hand into a blender. Some humans could be such idiots.
//A game? Why?// Cain asked, confused.
//Because I'm bored, and I'm trapped in my office with Riho and Yayoi, and I'm trying very hard not to think about sex.// Shido replied, on the verge of bashing his head against his poor, abused desk. That desk had seen many things a desk should never, ever have to see. It had been used as a convenient surface for many extra-curricular activities between Cain and Shido, had coffee spilled on it, Riho's chewing gum stuck underneath it... it had even been given several disfiguring dents from the time Shido had spontaneously learnt how to make bullets out of his own blood after accidentally giving himself a paper cut. After so much thoughtless abuse, the poor desk could only stay very still and whimper like a kicked puppy. Not that anyone could hear it, but still...
//Alright, what game?// Cain relented, not having a huge amount to do himself at that moment.
//Uh... I spy?// Shido suggested, it being the only game he could think of.
//Explain this 'I spy' to me.// Cain demanded, never having been unfortunate enough to be dragged into a game with Shido before.
//Well... I find something in my office, and I tell you the first letter of its name. Then you have to guess what I'm looking at.// Shido smirked, leaning back in his chair, which, too, had seen its fair share of abuse.
//...Alright.// Cain wasn't quite sure what was going on, but it was better than putting up with Shido's random, babbling thoughts about sex until his beloved mate escaped from the office.
//Ok, I spy... something beginning with...// Shido thought for a moment, looking around his office and getting strange looks from Yayoi, Guni and Riho, who were talking about the Tsukimura case, trying to look like they were doing some work, unlike Shido. //M.// He nodded to himself. Yayoi shrugged at Riho in an: 'I have no idea. It's probably better not to ask' way.
//Mortals.// Cain answered, and Shido scowled.
//Dammit. Ok, your turn.//
Cain looked around his library and shrugged at Loki, who rolled his blue eyes and went back to sleep.
//B.//
Shido thought about this. Since Cain was in his library, the answer seemed to be fairly obvious.
//Books.//
//Hmm.// Cain agreed.
Shido twitched and glared at nothing in particular, absently kicking the leg of his desk, which whimpered again silently.
//P.// Shido said flatly.
Cain thought for about a tenth of a second.
//Plant.// He guessed.
//Ok, I'm bored with this game now.// Shido announced, giving the plant sitting on his desk a murderous look of pure hatred. It wilted slightly.
//Fair enough.// Cain consented, amusing himself with Loki. He'd found, much to his enjoyment, that if he tickled the long fur just below the kitten's ear it caused Loki to twitch violently, rather like a mad person. He was a fairly easy person to entertain, really.
//I worry about you. Remind me not to leave you on your own so much.// Shido commented, completely ignoring the fact that he'd just talked his all-powerful mate into a game of I-Spy to pass the time, and had scored 'utterly mad' on a sanity test.
//Why?// Cain asked innocently, watching Loki twitch and try to stick his paw in his ear.
//Never mind.// Shido sighed, deciding it was about time he actually paid attention and listened to what Yayoi, Riho and Guni were saying to him.
Yay, work.
TBC