Question Time 4
Bakura: Talk to meeee!
Ryou: No.
Bakura: But I'm bored!!
Ryou: And? How is that my problem?
Bakura: Well you're supposed to be the sweet considerate one here! Think of my pain! I can't even
get out of bed!
Ryou: Poor baby.
Bakura: Your sarcasm wounds me.
Ryou: Well, it's your own fault you're stuck there, you know.
Bakura: No, it's your fault for letting me play with the lighter.
Ryou: And I suppose it's my fault you set yourself on fire, too?
Bakura: Correct, for ten points.
Ryou: You've been watching too many daytime quiz shows.
Bakura: Only because you won't talk to me.
Ryou: Because you're an idiot, and talking to you makes my brain hurt.
Bakura: Fine, then I'll just play with this little bell you put on my bedside table. Wow, that's really loud! Hey, this is almost fun.
Ryou: Please stop.
Bakura: Huh? What was that? I can't hear you over all this ringing.
Ryou: I said please stop that it's extremely annoying!
Bakura: La la la, I can't hear you...
Ryou: STOP IT, GODDAMNIT!!!!
Bakura: Yea, dear. So will you talk to me now?
Ryou: When my ears stop bleeding, yes.
Bakura: Mwahah. I win, again. I always get my own way. I'm so evil.
Ryou: That's true. So what do you want to talk about? More of your idiotic questions, I suppose.
Bakura: Damn right.
Ryou: Oh.
Bakura: Why does cheese give people nightmares?
Ryou: I have no idea.
Bakura: Fine, why do spiders have eight legs when four would do?
Ryou: I have no idea.
Bakura: What's a Tazer?
Ryou: Something I am never, ever letting you get your hands on.
Bakura: Where can I get a hedgehog?
Ryou: ...what?
Bakura: You know, those spiky little rats.
Ryou: I know what a hedgehog is. I'm sure I'm not going to like the answer but I feel I have to ask anyway. Why on earth do you want a hedgehog?
Bakura: Well, Malik told me that hedgehogs can scream. I wanted to see if it was true. And I want to know what it sounds like.
Ryou: ...
Bakura: I wonder how I could make it scream? If I hit it with a crowbar it'd probably just die. Maybe I could put it in the microwave? No, it might explode before it got a chance to scream. Maybe I could put it in the oven and heat it up slowly. Oh, that reminds me, can you get me a frog, too?
Ryou: I'm almost scared to ask why you want a frog.
Bakura: Malik told me that if you drop a frog into boiling water it jumps right out, but if you put a frog in cold water and heat it up slowly, it just sits there and gets boiled alive. I wanted to see if that was true, too. Does our oven have a glass door? I want to watch the hedgehog cook.
Ryou: I am never letting you get near any animal ever again.
Bakura: Does that count dead ones? Because I found some roadkill before you made me set myself on fire, and I wanted to play with it.
Ryou: Play with it? This is sounding less and less wholesome.
Bakura: Could you get me some firecrackers for the roadkill while you're out?
Ryou: I'm not even going to ask.
Bakura: I was going to tell that baka Pharaoh that there was some poor, injured animal at the end of our garden, then when he gets near it I was going to blow it up. Fun, huh?
Ryou: You scare me.
Bakura: I practice.
Ryou: Ok, talking to you is giving me both a headache, and a worrying insight into what you do with your spare time, so I'm going out.
Bakura: Remember to get my hedgehog, dammit!
Ryou: I love you too. No more TV while I'm gone, and no more talking to Malik.
Bakura: Yes, mom.
Ryou: Good, now go to sleep!
TBC
That was slightly... weirder... than usual. The hedgehog and frog things are true, sadly. No, I haven't actually done either of them. I *like* animals. And blowing up roadkill with fireworks is also wrong. So don't do it.