Question Time 20
[Setting: At Ryou's house, with Bakura and Ryou in the living room.]
Ryou: Bakura! You're in trouble!
Bakura: What did I do now?
Ryou: *glare*
Bakura: What? Is this about the bath?
Ryou: No. And I'm not even going to speculate over what you meant by that. If I find *anything* living or dead in the bath by tonight, I will castrate you in your sleep.
Bakura: Ooookay... Erm... I have to go clean the... er... *things* out of the bath.
Ryou: Not yet. I want a word with you.
Bakura: You're doing your angry voice, should I be worried?
Ryou: Very.
Bakura: Can do!
Ryou: I just got your report from school.
Bakura: I go to school?
Ryou: Yes, you do. How can you not remember something like that?!
Bakura: Well, it said on the back of the windowcleaner that drinking it would cause memory loss.
Ryou: Oh. I assume it worked, then.
Bakura: I don't know, I can't remember.
Ryou: ... Shut up. Back to the point, your grades are worse than Jounouchi's.
Bakura: Is that possible?
Ryou: Apparently so.
Bakura: I thought I was doing ok, I did all the stupid assignments they set.
Ryou: It's what you did for them that's the problem, dear.
Bakura: Oh. What did I do for them, again?
Ryou: ...
Bakura: The whole memory loss thing is true, you know. I really did drink windowcleaner.
Ryou: It had warnings on it, why didn't you read them??
Bakura: It said 'keep out of reach of children.' I'm not a child.
Ryou: That's debatable.
Bakura: I was never a child, I'm sure I would have remembered. ...Oh, wait, yes I was.
Ryou: Do I know any people who aren't insane, evil or incredibly stupid?
Bakura: Erm... nope?
Ryou: *sigh...* Ok, back to the point of this conversation.
Bakura: You were about to tell me what I did wrong in all my classes.
Ryou: Exactly. Firstly, in Japanese class you were supposed to write about something you enjoy doing.
Bakura: I did!
Ryou: You wrote about me, Bakura.
Bakura: And? I enjoy doing you.
Ryou: I don't think the teacher found that amusing, dear.
Bakura: I was just being honest, for once.
Ryou: There are times when you can be *too* honest, you know.
Bakura: I'll keep that in mind, then.
Ryou: Ok, for English class you swore at the teacher.
Bakura: In English.
Ryou: For a full five minutes, without repeating yourself.
Bakura: Because he told me I hadn't learnt anything. I proved *him* wrong.
Ryou: He didn't teach you that, though.
Bakura: No, you did.
Ryou: Which is why he failed me, too.
Bakura: And the moral of this story is that you need to get your swearing problem sorted out. Next?
Ryou: *growl*
Bakura: What about Woodwork? I finished my project and everything! I even painted it!
Ryou: You made a jack-in-the-box.
Bakura: Yep!
Ryou: Filled with razorblades.
Bakura: It took a lot of work.
Ryou; You're just lucky no one was killed.
Bakura: Yeah, I'll admit it needs a little more fine-tuning.
Ryou: You're not *supposed* to try and kill your entire class, you know.
Bakura: You ruin all my fun.
Ryou: And Metalwork?
Bakura: ...was fun?
Ryou: What the hell *was* that thing you made, anyway?
Bakura: Mwahah. I call it the bladed egg-whisk of pain and death.
Ryou: Everyone else made keyrings.
Bakura: Uninspired peasants.
Ryou: Science?
Bakura: Is that the one with all the chemicals??
Ryou: Yes.
Bakura: I like that one.
Ryou: You put half the class in hospital and made the teacher's hair fall out.
Bakura: Don't forget the hampster.
Ryou: And you killed the school hampster with a brick, then during biology class you sewed the head of a snake onto it and tried to bring it back to life using lightening.
Bakura: I'm still waiting for a storm.
Ryou: We're not even going to go into how wrong that is.
Bakura: Fine by me! I'm going to call it 'Frankensnakie'.
Ryou: You're also failing maths.
Bakura: They made up a number!
Ryou: Because you have no concept of zero.
Bakura: Meh. Well the baka pharaoh is failing too.
Ryou: If you're not careful I'll invite him over here and make you two study together.
Bakura: But he's evil!
Ryou: No he's not, you're the evil one, moron.
Bakura: Really?
Ryou: Look in the mirror.
Bakura: ...Hey, I do look kinda evil. So am I a bad guy?
Ryou: Yes. Remind me to hide the rest of the cleaning products. Why on earth did you drink the windowcleaner in the first place?!
Bakura: I was thirsty?
Ryou: You'd think I'd've learnt by now, after the time you ate an entire brick of firelighters because you were hungry.
Bakura: Did I do that?
Ryou: Yes.
Bakura: Oh.
Ryou: Indeed.
Bakura: Who are you again?
Ryou: Your better half.
Bakura: Oh.
Ryou: You are such an idiot...
Bakura: And who am I again?
Ryou: *smirk* My personal slave.
Bakura: Really? I don't seem like the slave type.
Ryou: I assure you, it's true.
Bakura: Wow, I never would have guessed.
Ryou: No. Ok, it's time for you to clean the house now, slave.
Bakura: I have to *clean* things?
Ryou: That's your job, yes.
Bakura: Can I quit?!
Ryou: No.
Bakura: Hmph.
Ryou: Here's your apron. Now I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom, just in case your memory comes back while you're still wearing that.
Bakura: Ooh, pink. And *frilly*. Are you *sure* I'm supposed to wear this?
Ryou: Absolutely.
TBC