House of Cards - Part 3
A tiny, brown creature blinked its huge eyes innocently, chirping cutely as it looked around for some shade to lounge in. It happened to be a Kuriboh, and it was skittering around the front lawn, finally stopping in a nice, welcome shadow out of the glare of the sun. It sat down, leaning back gratefully against the scaly hide behind it, which, coincidentally, was providing the shade it sat in.
Blue-Eyes cracked one, huge blue eye open sleepily, frowning as something tickled it. With a fangy yawn, it rolled over, ignoring the sharply cut off squeak that issued forth from somewhere beneath it as yet another unfortunate Kuriboh bought the farm. Blue-Eyes rumbled contentedly as the itching stopped, and went back to sleep.
* * *
"Oh, yes!" Celtic Guardian cried, throwing his head back and moaning loudly as Dark Magician did some very unwholesome but enjoyable things to him down in the basement.
"Well, this is nice." Magician of Faith muttered flatly, watching the S and M action going on a few feet away.
"Isn't it?" Enchanting Mermaid giggled, enjoying herself.
Suddenly a noise from upstairs, heard clearly through the huge hole in the floor, made Magician of Faith smirk wickedly.
"Hoooooney, where are you? I came all the way over, just especially to see you! Aren't you glad?" A very, very annoying voice screeched.
"She's baaaaa-ack."
Dark Magician and Celtic Guardian looked up, freezing at the voice.
"And it was just getting good, too." Celtic Guardian sighed, as Dark Magician looked frantically around for some place to hide.
* * *
"Oh, bloody hell." Dark Elf muttered, dragging a hand down her face as the last person she wanted to deal with on her birthday came wandering around the corner, looking for her 'beloved'.
"Oh, hello! How have you been? Are you well? I *do* hope so. Have you seen my Dark Magician? I just popped over to see him, I know how much he misses me when I'm not here," Dark Magician Girl giggled, bouncing up and down in anticipation at seeing Dark Magician.
Dark Elf sighed, gritting her teeth as Succubus Knight coughed something that sounded a little like 'stalker' and wandered off to finish helping Gyakutenno Megami with the cooking. Mystical Sand blinked at Dark Elf, seeing the 'about to snap' look in her eyes, and turned to Dark Magician Girl.
"Uh, I think he was in the basement..." She offered, conveniently forgetting to add 'with Celtic Guardian' to the end of that sentence.
"Oh, thank you *sooooo* much! I just know he'll be *so* happy to see me!" The stalker gasped dramatically, before turning abruptly and bouncing off in the direction of the stairs.
"Sure." Dark Elf said flatly, then turned to Mystical Sand. "I need coffee. And a shotgun."
Mystical Sand sweatdropped and walked her girlfriend over to sit down next to Gaia on the sofa, where she could watch the action going on in the basement through the big hole in the floor.
"Coffee, coming up. Tell me what happens, huh?"
* * *
Swordstalker watched the new arrival annoy the crap out of everyone, grinning his most wicked grin. Dark Magician Girl. Mwahahahaha. Now what was she afraid of, again?
Giving a rumble of psychotic giggles, he stalked off to torment his next victim.
* * *
"Oh, *there* you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Dark Magician Girl gasped happily, climbing daintily over Relinquished and running up to Dark Magician to glomp him thoroughly. He turned very pale and looked at Celtic Guardian for help.
"Oh, *you're* here." Dark Magician's stalker said, upon noticing the elf sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding a pink feather in his hand and looking at it thoughtfully.
"Hello." He nodded to her, trying to be polite. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see my Dark Magician, of course!" She sneered.
"*Your* Dark Magician?" Celtic Guardian raised an eyebrow, looking to Dark Magician, who stood behind his stalker and twirled his finger next to his ear in a 'she's not all there' way.
"Uh-oh, catfight." Magician of Faith snickered, kicking back to watch the fun.
"Yes, mine!" Dark Magician Girl snapped possessively, grabbing the man she loved by the sleeve and dragging him off upstairs. Celtic Guardian blinked, wondering if perhaps he should just stay well out of her way, which was the sensible thing to do. Then again, Dark Magician was *his*, dammit!
That decided, the irate elf growled and strapped his armour back on, picking up his sword and stomping off after them.
"Anyone for Scrabble?" Enchanting Mermaid asked, pulling a Scrabble board out of nowhere now that the fun was over. Spirit of the Harp nodded, and Magician of Faith shrugged, deciding that she'd rather not know what Celtic Guardian and Dark Magician Girl were going to do to each other.
* * *
Gaia, Succubus Knight, Dark Elf and Mystical Sand were sat on the sofa, sipping their drinks. Dark Elf and Gaia had coffee, even though Gaia was barely choking the stuff down. He would rather have had a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows like Mystical Sand, but he was trying to impress Succubus Knight, who was drinking tea. In the next room Celtic Guardian could be heard trying to chop Dark Magician Girl into tiny pieces while she cast all measure of nasty spells and curses at him, which he was dodging. After a while, Dark Magician, looking a little singed, walked in and sat down on the floor next to Mystical Sand, leaving his lover to fend off his stalker.
So the five of them sat there, ignoring the hole in the floor and the oozing remains of the huge spider pinned to the wall, and had a nice conversation about the 'humans'.
"I think Yuugi and Yami are a couple." Succubus Knight said, and everyone agreed.
"Yeah, they have to be, they hold hands and stuff. Can you imagine going out with someone who looked just like you, though? That'd freak me out." Mystical Sand remarked.
"Well, they don't look *exactly* the same. I mean, Yami is taller. And he has scary eyes." Succubus Knight nodded.
"I guess. What about Bakura? He has the scary eyes too. And he's a psycho." Mystical Sand asked.
"I like him." Dark Elf grinned, "And Marik. And Malik."
"You would. Do you think Ryou and Bakura are a couple?" Gaia asked.
"I think Honda and Ryou make a cute couple." Dark Magician announced.
"Really? Weird. Well... I suppose they are kinda cute together... But then who does Bakura get?" Dark Elf wondered, thinking.
"Malik. Definitely Malik. They were practically made for each other." Succubus Knight insisted.
"But what about Marik?" Mystical Sand pointed out.
"Who cares? He's a headcase. I think Joey and Kaiba are a couple. They're always arguing, so they must be together. And Kaiba calls Joey a dog, that could be some kind of kinky thing." Dark Magician smirked.
"Oh, 'cause you'd know all about that, wouldn't you." Gaia snickered, and Dark Magician ignored him.
"Yeah, and Joey had a dream about Kaiba." Dark Elf mentioned.
"He did? When?" Mystical Sand asked.
"On that air ship thing of Kaiba's. He was sleeping, muttering something about Kaiba. Really, it's true!"
"Aww, that's romantic. So who do you think is on top, Joey or Kaiba?" Succubus Knight wondered, thinking it over herself. "I think Kaiba. But can you imagine Joey on top? Uke-Seto is a nice image."
"Yeah." Dark Magician smirked, and everyone took a moment to appreciate the image. Except Gaia, who happened to be straight, and a guy. He didn't really care.
"What about Kaiba and Ryou?" Mystical Sand asked, grinning.
"Hmm... Could be, I guess..." Dark Elf muttered, "Or maybe Joey and Ryou."
"Yeah, that's a good one. I like Serenity and Mai. I think they'd be cute together. Plus Joey likes Mai, so he wouldn't be upset about her going out with his beloved sister." Mystical Sand suggested.
"But I thought Joey had a thing for Mai?" Gaia asked, confused.
"Oh sure, but she's always going on about how they're 'friends'. I think that means she's not interested." Mystical Sand nodded.
"Hey, did anyone notice that Dark Magician Girl and Celtic Guardian are being quiet now? I haven't heard anything from upstairs in a while, either, so Change of Heart must have gotten her way with Flame Swordsman." Dark Elf mentioned, staring up at the ceiling.
"We should check on them." Mystical Sand said.
"Yep." Succubus Knight agreed.
"Right." Dark Magician nodded.
Nobody could be bothered moving.
TBC