Computer Class

 

Concept by Hilde Schbeiker   ~~<~~@ * @~~>~~  Written by Tawnya Kisaragi

 

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Ah, the wonders of technology...

 

~Unknown.

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-God this is sooooooo boring,- Hilde sat thinking during her computer class while staring at the clock on the screen in front of her wistfully.  Everyday it was the same.  The same computer, the same typing book, the same stiff chair, the same annoying teacher who had no clue about what she was trying to teach and the same class that refused to sit and pay attention, thus prolonging the lesson even more.  The dark haired girl never claimed to know much about computers in general, hence why she was there in the first place, but even SHE could teach the class more effectively than the bumbling idiot with short, curly gray-brown hair in front was.  And to add insult to injury, it was HOT in the room.  Hilde was pretty sure she was in hell...

Stretching and popping her back, she stole a glance over to where Hiiro sat across the row from her, studiously typing away with a scowl plastered on his face.  She frowned.  Would he really be so stupid as to hack the school system during class?  Not that the teacher would ever notice, mind you, but it was the principal of the thing.  Leaning back a little in her chair, she managed to catch a glimpse of what the Japanese youth was so furiously concentrating on.

IwillnotkillherIwillnotkillherIwillnotkillherIwillnotkillherIwillnotkillher... was continuously scrolling down the page, the text lagging behind the actual keystrokes, his hands were moving so fast.  She leaned back a little farther and almost fell over when she saw it was page 201 of the current document.

A light, off-key whistle in the hall brought her attention back around.  Standing just outside the doorway and in the shadow of the slightly open door so the teacher couldn’t see them, Duo and Wufei peeked into class.  Duo ginned foolishly and waved his hand back and forth while the Chinese youth simply nodded his head in recognition.  She smiled wanly at them. The braided pilot cocked his head to one side in question, concern evident on his face.  Hilde rolled her eyes and stared very pointedly at the teacher who was droning on and on, oblivious.

 “Sorry we can't help ya, Pixie,” Duo mouthed sympathetically.  Hilde glared at him and snorted.

"Yeah, right Duo.  You just don't want to get stuck in here with me and have to listen to the fucking teacher..." she mouthed back..  The American stuck his tongue out in response.

Wufei rolled his eyes at their childish antics and muttered something about longhaired idiots and injustice as Trowa appeared, swinging from the rafters around the room, winging his way over to where Hilde sat.  Reaching his destination in no time, he flipped and landed beside her, kneeling down behind the computers and placing a few soft kisses on her neck.  “Don't worry Hilde-sama,” he whispered softly in her ear while taking one of her clenched hands in his.  “I'll stay by you...”

"Thanks Trowa," she whispered as she leaned into the embrace of a good friend, squeezing his hand in appreciation.

A soft thwack once again drew her attention to the front.  Mere inches from the completely ignorant teacher’s head now stood a knife, deeply embedded in the chalkboard behind her.  From somewhere behind her came the soft shriek of a sharp edge cutting air and a second knife appeared, rooted to the board on the other side of the teacher’s head.  A short search found the surprising source of the projectiles, Quatre!

After about five more knives, one of which would have hit its target precisely if she hadn’t bent over to stare helplessly at her own computer screen, the blond took up the empty seat Hilde and the Heavyarms pilot.

"Gee, Quatre, for a peace lover, you sure  are violent towards her..." Hilde whispered, eyes wide.

“Well, what do you expect Hilde?  She is an idiot and she also happens to be driving you, along with the rest of us, nuts.”

"Oh, okay.  Thanks, Q-man."

“Been piloting ZERO again, haven’t you?” Trowa said quietly.  Quatre blushed and nodded slightly.

Hiiro, unhappy because Quatre had failed to kill the twit running the class, frustrated beyond belief that he was stuck in the class in the first place and hopping mad because the plastic bucket of circuts in front of him that the administration dared to call a computer had crashed when his document size had only reached 16,874 pages, stood and pointed his ever-present gun at the smoking computer screen in front of him.

“Omae o korosu,” he growled out, lips twisted in a snarl.

There is an ominous click as the hammer released--and nothing happened.  Slightly shocked, he pulled the trigger again.  Still nothing.  Confused out of his rage for a second, Hiiro inspected his gun.  He had cleaned it only this morning before leaving for first period.  Everything was in working order.  He ejected the magazine to see if one of the bullets had miss-loaded.  Instead, the Wing ZERO pilot was greeted with the sight of an empty clip.

Someone was going to die...  His Prussian blue eyes focused sharply on Duo, who still stood outside the door chatting lightly with Wufei.  He had been the only one close enough at any point in time to have stolen and emptied his gun without him noticing. Catching the Death Glare™, the violet-eyed boy hastily backed away, shaking his head when he saw the empty clip.

If it wasn’t Duo, then...

Hilde suddenly laughed maniacally and ran from the room, bullets and an irrate Hiiro following closely behind. She dove behind the Shinigami pilot as soon as she cleared the doorway, who protested very loudly that he was NOT a shield and that she deserved what she got for messing with Hiiro’s gun.

"Sorry, Hiiro,” she giggled helplessly from under Duo’s braid, which she held out in front of her as a peace offering.  “I got tired of you blowing things up that didn't do what you wanted them to."

“Baka.  Get back here with my ammo.”  Hilde meeped as Hiiro lunged for her, but received a face-full of braid instead.  Sputtering, he charged after the German girl as she raced down the hallway and through the doors at the end.  The rest of the group stood and laughed at the scene until the two running around the grounds noticed. Two equal Death Glare™s bore into them and they all shrank into themselves.

The teacher, still lost to the world around her, continued to try to figure out how to open the Microsoft Word program.

"Okay, guys.  Let’s get to business," Hilde said, eyes growing serious.

“What should we do, Hilde?” Trowa asked gently.

Quatre rolled his eyes.  “Geez, how obvious do you need it to be Trowa?  We are going to go after the teacher.”  Duo snickered as realization dawned on the tall youth.

“Oh yeah.  I forgot in all the excitement...”

Wufei snorted.  “I have an idea that will help us get justice on the offending onna.  Let’s tie her up to the main computer and have all of the computers blow up in succession.”

“That works!” everyone chorused.

Working their way around the room confidently, they rigged the room so that the computer closest to the door would start the chain reaction, ending, of course, with the teacher’s computer.  They would end up blowing the whole computer server up in the process, but such was the price of peace.  They all thought it was fitting that she was going to be destroyed by what which she so poorly taught.  Hiiro and Duo, smirks on there faces the whole time, explained in great detail the kind of pain and torment that came with electrical shocks and burns, not to mention the flying bits of metal that could pass through a cow.  It was going to be a very satisfying way, at least for them, for her to die.  They waited until she turned to the board, her mind totally skipping the knives still stuck there, before grabbing her and dragging her back to her desk and the booby-trapped computer that sat there.

"That was too easy," Hilde sighed, handing a length of rope to Wufei.

“What a weak adversary...”

“...”  Trowa refused to comment.

“Oh come on guys!  She is going to die.  Be nice,” Quatre pleaded, finally getting down off the high of the ZERO system.

“Ninmu kanryou,” Hiiro intoned, grinning evilly as he finished tying various knots.

“Shinigami lives again!” Duo cackled, cracking his knuckles and finishing the self-destruct sequence on the teacher’s computer.

Quickly, they tied the teacher to the chair and made extra sure that she couldn't get away and that she was gagged, not that the thought that she was going to die soon made her think about calling for help.  When everything was set and double and triple checked, they pulled the fire alarm.  Student began to pour out into the halls, wary and annoyed teachers leading them en-mass out to the fields behind the school.  It took some convincing to get Hiiro to give up thoughts of getting some target practice (“Not that those dumb neon orange bags don’t make great targets!” Duo said, coming to his koi’s defense).  As soon as the students were out of the blast radius, they waved good-bye and let her go up in smoke.

"Thank god!  No more evil teachers and school for at least a month," Hilde sighed as they waited outside with the rest of the student body.  The fire fighters were still checking the building and the police had been called in to investigate what they thought was a decimated body in the computer lab.  School was to be canceled for the rest of the day and an announcement that everything was under control by the administration rang out over the field.  All anyone was really waiting for was the okay to leave.

“Hn,” Hiiro grunted, already making plans to clean up any evidence that might have made it through the fire.  A loud whoop broke up the rest of the conversation as the principal finally released the bored mass.

“No more injustice shall come to you,” Wufei said with a sense of accomplishment as he turned.  “Goodbye.”

“See you later, Hilde.  I have to go practice for my act tonight...” Trowa leaned over and placed a tender kiss on her cheek.  “I hope you can come.”  Hilde nodded.

Quatre come up and gave her a hug.  “Bye, Hilde.  I'll say hi to my sisters for you.”

“That was fun...” Duo laughed, grabbing Hilde around the neck and giving her a noogie.  “We'll have to do that again sometime.”

Breaking free from his grasp, Hilde spun and grabbed a handful of braid before tugging as hard as she could, nearly toppling the Shinigami pilot over.  With a curse, he struggled to his feet and started after her, screaming things that even a sailor would have blushed at.  The rest of the group laughed--those two would never learn...

Later that night, Hilde went to see Trowa's performance and had a ball.  Then the group gathered and watched the news, laughing over their carrying-ons at the school.

“It has been determined that the fire was accidental and started when someone carelessly poured coffee onto on the operating systems.” Duo smiled smugly and began dancing around the room until Hiiro pulled him back to the floor by his braid.  “The school itself will be closed for about a month,” they all cheered, “as repairs and damage control are taken care of.  The school board has said that they will do everything they can to make sure that this doesn’t happen again.  No one was injured in the incident.

“In related news, faculty member and computer department leader Marie Sasser has been reported as missing by friends and family, disappearing after the fire that has closed the school where she use to teach  She is wanted for questioning about the fire..”

“And now, the weather...”

 

~OWARI~ TK’02 / HS2002