----------

------------

--------------

 

All: They…kicked…us…OFF!

 

Arianna: Yes, as most people know by now the F.A.R.T.s got me.

 

Erk: The what?

 

Eliwood: Fanfiction.net’s Authority Rules Teachers.

 

Erk: How did you know something I didn’t?

 

Arianna: I didn’t even get a chance to save the reviews. ;_; I wasn’t sure if I was gonna update this ever again but I went ahead and moved it to my site/station. Then I started receiving threatening messages from some people and I decided it would be a good idea to continue the show. But I’m still very sad because this was my first real ficcy and it can’t be on FF.net anymore which means no reviews. So, rioters who want to send angry emails to FF.net about how the wonderful FEI can no longer be on their website would be very much appreciated. :D Here’s the long awaited new episode of ‘Fire Emblem Idol’. ^_^ And one more thing: Since this is now on my site, I can do whatever the hell I want and FF.net can’t stop me! MUHAHAHAHAHA! ^O^ <fear the faces!

 

-------------

 

DISCLAIMER: All this time and I still don’t own FE. ;_; Also, some words in songs may be changed.

 

-----------------------

 

::: Semi-Finals Stage :::

 

Serra: The moment is near! The two finalists will soon be announced!

 

Marcus: HURRY UP! I’m gettin’ old here!

 

Rebecca: Uhhh…Sir Marcus?

 

Marcus: What?

 

Rebecca: =thinks better of it= Never mind.

 

Marcus: =wheezes then falls asleep=

 

-= A paper airplane flies into the arena=-

 

Serra: Here comes the announcement now!

 

Pent: IT’S A SPY! =Elfires the paper airplane=

 

Audience: !!!

 

Serra: PENT! That had the finalists in it!

 

Pent: Really? But how did you get them to fit inside such a tiny airplane?

 

Erk: =pretends to have never met him=

 

Lucius: Their NAMES, you fool! Now what will we do!?

 

Canas: We could always discuss the philosophical effects of-

 

All: NO!

 

Erk: How about we just ask for another copy?

 

=silence=

 

Serra: That’s why I love you, Erky-poo! You’re sooooo smart! ^_^

 

Erk: O_o;

 

Serra: ANOTHER COPY PURTY PLEASE!!!

 

Audience: =covers ears in fright of the loud and screechy voice=

 

-=a wad of paper hits Serra in the face=-

 

Serra: OW! Hey!

 

Lucius: =wanders onstage and unfolds the wad= The finalists are….

 

Audience: =hold breath=

 

Lucius: Ouin…and…Ucabd?

 

All: ???

 

Audience Member 1: Who’s Ouin!?

 

AM2: I didn’t vote for him!

 

AM3: =jumps up= YEAH! WAY TO GO, UCABD!

 

Lucius: Oh, sorry! I was holding it upside down!

 

AM3: =slowly sits back down while face turns into a tomato=

 

Lucius: =clears throat= The real finalists arrrreeee

 

Audience: !!!

 

Lucius: ….eeeeeeeeeee…..

 

Audience: ….

 

Lucius: ….eeeeee……

 

Audience: >_<

 

Serra: =snatches paper= NINO AND KING RAVEN!!!!

 

-= whole room goes bonkers=-

 

Raven Fans: YEAAAAHH! BOW TO THE KING!!!

 

Jaffar Fans: Noooo…. =run out crying=

 

Karel Fans: KILL! MUST KILL THOSE WHO DID NOT VOTE FOR OUR MASTER!!!

 

Raven Fans: =scoot far away from Karel fans=

 

Jaffar: …. =suddenly appears behind Sain=

 

Sain: Wha-

 

Jaffar: You’re no longer in the competition. Now you die.

 

Sain; AHHHH!!!

 

Arianna: WAIT! All the semi-finalists are going to be appearing at the Finals! You can’t kill him yet!!!

 

Jaffar: …..

 

Nino: I-I-I-I I MADE IT! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!

 

Raven: BOW DOWN TO YOUR ALMIGHTY KING! You will not beat me!

 

Jaffar: =evil assassin GLARE of DOOM=

 

Raven: =evil royal highness Raven glare of DOOM=

 

-= whole audience runs out crying in fright except Marcus, who’s still asleep in his seat=-

 

Marcus: =mumbling= Yes...I’d like…some…tuna…

 

Lucius: We’d better start setting things up for the Finals.

 

Lyn: The Finals…wow…we’ve come a long way…

 

-= Happy, inspirational music comes on =-

 

Arianna: I can’t believe it has already come this far…

 

-= flashback image begins to appear=-

 

Fiora: Remember when-

 

Karel: NO! No flashbacks! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooO! =stabs person playing music=

 

PPM: =dies=

 

Heath: Uhhh...how about we get to work on the stage?

 

Karla: How will we entertain the viewers while we’re working?

 

-= Lucius and Matthew (who at some point crept back out of hiding) look at each other =-

 

Matthew: =grin= Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

 

Lucius: =returns grin= Oh am I ever.

 

Erk: Do I even wanna know?

 

Matt&Luce: COMMERCIAL!!!

 

-;’;’;: COMMERCIAL :;’;’;-

 

Matthew: Ever wondered about what goes on in the elite that you don’t see?

 

Lucius: Well now you can find out! The newest fic and show by demonesszen: ‘Documentaries Of An Elite!’ Learn what goes on in camp and find out some secrets about your favorite characters! Here’s a preview!

 

-"Welcome, Guy. We are glad you've finally arrived." The alien tells the myrmidon in a helium-sucking voice.-

 

Matthew: That’s a bit of a strange preview don’t you think? That one might actually scare viewers away.

 

Lucius: Hmm….let’s try this one…

 

-"And she's BUYING the STAIRWAY to HEAVEN!" Wil is screaming while drumming on the table with his fork.-

 

Lucius: O_o;

 

Matthew: Seriously, who picked these clips!?

Lucius: Um….here’s the last one….

 

-"Chicken fighting is illegal, Karel." Nils reminds the homicidal maniac.-

 

Lucius: Okay, I give up.

 

Matthew: Well, if those clips actually appealed to you, you can find this wonderful show on FF.net. Only on the Riri Network.

 

------------------------------

------------------------------

 

-= backstage of the finals =-

 

Jaffar: =writing=

 

Legault: =reads over his shoulder= Sain…Raven…Teletubbies

 

Nino: What’s that for, Jaffar?

 

Legault: I think it’s a hit list…

 

Nino: Why do you think that?

 

Legault: Because at the top it says ‘MUST KILLLL’.

 

Jaffar: …. =snatches paper up and hides it in cloak=

 

Nino: -_-;

 

Serra: =walks onstage= Hello!

 

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 

-= Erk, Eliwood, and Arianna are sitting at the judge’s desk =-

 

Serra: Welcome to the finals! Soon our two finalists will perform and then you viewers will vote to see who will become the ‘Fire Emblem Idol’!

 

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Serra: But first, we’re gonna have a load of extras. ^_^ Starting with…the national anthem! It will be performed by Lady Lyn!

 

-= Lyn walks onstage and the orchestra starts =-

 

Lyn: Please stand and honor our

 

Arianna: I don’t feel like standing.

 

Lyn: Ohhh say can you flee! From the Aura attack’s light! Which so proooouuudly we fired, at the dawn’s dewy greeting.  Who’s bright light and painful UV rays, scorched the dragon’s and killed them!

 

Ninian: HEY! What kind of anthem is that!?

 

Lyn: =high pitched= AND THE ELFIRE’S RED GLARE! THE MINES BURST AND THEY FLARE! AND GAVE PROOOOF THROUGH THE DAAAWN, THAT LOWEN’S HAIR WAS STILL THERE!!!

 

Lowen: What about my hair!?

 

Eliwood: Alright, now I know she’s singing it wrong!

 

Erk: You mean you just now realized that?

 

Lyn: OH SAY DOES THAT DRUNKEN SOLDIER STILL SWAY!!! FOR THE LAAAAAAAND OF THE CRAZZZZZZZZY AND THE HOOOME OF THEEE DEPRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVED!

 

Legault: Well…that was…

 

Kent: =plugging Giggles’ ears= LOUD!

 

Sain: What does depraved mean?

 

Canas: Depraved is a term that means-

 

Bartre: GAH! NOOO! Not the definiters! They made me fail 2nd grade and flunk out of school!

 

Karla: =tight voice= Definitions, sweetie.

 

Bartre: NOOO! Don’t say that word! =curls up in fetal position on floor=

 

Karla: -_-;

 

Serra: =runs onstage= Thank you, Lyn!

 

Audience: Ow… =rub their ears=

 

Serra: And now, something that has been requested since the beginning of the show….the judges singing!

 

Erk: Say WHHHAAAT!?

 

Arianna: =jaw drops= Aw, heck no…

 

Eliwood: ….

 

Arianna: Eliwood?

 

Eliwood: MY DREAM IS GOING TO BE FULFILLED!!!! PRAISE ELIMINE!

 

Erk: -_-

 

Serra: Get up here, judges, and sing us a song!

 

Erk: =tapes himself to his chair=

 

Arianna: =nails herself to the table=

 

Eliwood: =skips all the way to the stage=

 

Serra: Please welcome our first judge to perform…Eliwood!

 

Eliwood Fans: WHHEEEEEEEE!

 

Zero84: =sticks headphones on=

 

Serra: Well, Lord Eliwood, what will you be singing today?

 

Eliwood: Well, as most of you know, recently I was put through the cruel torture of looking after my future son, Roy, for a day in ‘Dads and Darlings’.

 

Dart: GAH! This whole dang thing is one big advertisement for ‘er other stories!

 

Wil: SHHHH! Some people might not realize that yet!

 

Eliwood: In honor of that I shall be singing the song ‘Mr. Mom’ by Lonestar.

 

Zero84: =turns up volume on cd player=

 

-= Music Starts =-

 

Eliwood: Lost my job, came home mad got a hug and a kiss and a that’s too bad. She said ‘I can go and dance until you find another job’. I thought I like the sound of that, watch tournaments and take long naps. Go from a hardworking lord to being Mr. Mom. WELL…

 

Erk: =tries to cover ears but can’t move hands because of tape=

 

Eliwood: Toys melt in the fish fryer, spears go up one shelf higher, played horsie for the 15th time, breakfast six, naps at nine. There’s cookie dough in Roy’s hair, gray goo in my throne chair. It’s been crazy all day long and it’s only Monday Mr. Mom!

 

Audience: =cheers=

 

Serra: Thank you, Lord Eliwood!

 

Eliwood: =bows and runs back to his seat=

 

Serra: Erk?

 

Erk: =jerks head at tape=

 

Serra: ERK!

 

Erk: =shakes head ‘no’=

 

Serra: ERK!

 

Erk: =gives in and takes off tape=

 

Serra: ^_^

 

Erk: =walks onstage slowly=

 

Erk Fans: FINALLY! W000000000000T!

 

Serra: So, Erky, what will you be singing?

 

Erk: ….

 

Serra: ‘Brass Monkey’? By Beastie Boys? Good choice!

 

Erk: What!?

 

Serra: Take it away, Erky! =runs offstage=

 

-= Music Starts =-

 

Erk Fans: GO ERKY!!!

 

Erk: Uhh… =unenthusiastically= Brass Monkey, that funky monkey….

 

Geitz: Dart, it’s our song!

 

Dart: ARG!

 

-= Geitz and Dart run onstage and start to boogie =-

 

Geitz&Dart: Brass monkey, junkie. That funky monkey!

 

Erk: Um…got this dance that’s more than real.

 

Dart: DRINK BRASS MONKEY ‘ERE’S HOW YOU FEEL!!!

 

Hector: Drunk?

 

Geitz: Put your left leg down! =stomps left leg and stage shakes=

 

Erk: AH! =falls over=

 

Dart: Your right leg up!

 

Geitz: Tilt your head back let’s finish the cup!

 

Erk: =gets back on feet and dusts off clothing=

 

Dart: M.C.A with the bottle!

 

Geitz: D. rocks the can!

 

Erk: Adrock gets nice with Charlie Chan….

 

Geitz: We’re offered Moet, we don’t mind Chivas!

 

Erk: Wherever we go we bring the monkey with us…

 

Canas: This is a terrible promotion of alcohol!

 

Kent: What’s wrong withhh alkahall? =hic=

 

Sain: Kentare you…drunk!?

 

Kent: =hic= HEHEHEHE! =starts dancing with Giggles=

 

Sain: O_O

 

Lyn: -_-;

 

Kent: =throws up=

 

Sain: He never could hold his booze…

 

Dart: Adrock drinks thre- =sniff =sniff=

 

Erk&Geitz: ?

 

Dart: I smell… =sniff= PUKE! MUST CLEAN!

 

Geitz: We’re in the middle of a song!

 

Dart: =grabs mop and runs offstage= MUUUUST CLEEEAAN!

 

Kent: =lifts head= Eh?

 

Dart: =running at Kent with mop= CLEAN!!!

 

Kent: AH! =runs behind Lyn=

 

Dart: =starts mopping up vomit=

 

Arianna: Ew

 

Erk: =quietly walks back to his seat=

 

Audience: =almost asleep from boredom=

 

Lucius: WE’RE LOSING THEM! Somebody do something!

 

Serra: =tries to run onstage but slides on wet spot= AHHHHHH!!! =slides off the other side of the stage=

Lucius: =slaps forehead=

 

Guy: I think I’m starting to see how we got cancelled on FF.net…

 

Lucius: SOMEBODY GET OUT THERE!

 

Merlinus: I’ll go!

 

Lucius: Okay- WAIT, NOT YOU!

 

Merlinus: =goes onstage= Hiya, folks!

 

Audience: ….

 

Merlinus: Uh…how’re ya feeling?

 

Audience: =SNORE=

 

Merlinus: Um…well…the last judge has to sing, right? Miss Arianna!

 

Arianna: NO!

 

Erk: =takes the nails out=

 

Arianna: NO! =holds onto table=

 

Eliwood: =drags table and Arianna onstage=

 

Arianna: WAAAAH!

 

Erk: If I survived having to sing you’ll survive.

 

Merlinus: So, what will you be singing, Miss Arianna?

 

Arianna: ‘Coin-Operated Boy’ by The Dresden Dolls!

 

Canas: What’s a coin operated boy?

 

Sain: A boy operated by coins. DUH!

 

Bartre: Even me knew that. =grunt&belch=

 

Karla: =disgusted look=

 

-= Music Starts =-

 

Arianna: Coin operated boy….

 

Audience: AHHHH! =cover their ears=

 

Erk: Her singing is worse than Serra’s!

 

Serra: WHAT WAS THAT, ERKY!?

 

Nils: MAKE HER STOP! =falls on ground crying=

 

Arianna: Sitting on the shelf, he is just a toy, but I turn him on…

 

Eliwood: What!?

 

Sain: Yeah, baby! (^_-)

 

Arianna: And he comes to life…

 

Lucius: Okay, that makes it a little better.

 

Arianna: Automatic joy…

 

Lucius: Or not.

 

Arianna: That is why I want a coin operated boy. Made of plastic and elastic he is rugged and long lastin’. Who could ever ever ask for more?

 

Louise: I’ll stay with a real man, thanks. =huggles Pent=

 

Lyn: I wonder if I could get one…

 

Kent: =playing with Giggles= Hm?

 

Arianna:  =drags Raven, Karel, Lucius, and Oswin onstage= Many shapes and weights to choose from!

 

Raven Fans: WE CHOOSE KING RAVEN!!!

 

Karel Fans: =GLARE=

 

Arianna: =hugs Raven= I will never leave my bedroom!

 

Lucius: =glaring= That’s it! Cut the music!

 

-= Music Stops =-

 

Arianna: Aw! But I was just starting to have fun!

 

Raven: =runs backstage to take a shower=

 

Serra: =climbs back onstage=

 

Lucius: Well…what now?

 

Hector: We might as well start the finals…

 

Serra: But Raven is in the shower.

 

Arianna: We could film him singing from his shower….

 

Fan Girls: HEEHEEHEEHEE!!!

 

Erk: Ugh…I didn’t need that image.

 

Lucius: Well we need to do something! The audience is getting fed up!

 

Audience: WE’RE GETTING FED UP!

 

Lucius: And bored!

 

Audience: AND BORED!

 

Lucius: And-

 

Harken: Luce, you’re not helping.

 

Serra: Well, how about we have a little audience participation to wake them up?

 

Audience: ?

 

Lucius: What does this look like, a magic show!?

 

Arianna: OOOOH! We could all do a dance!

 

Wil: The hokey pokey!

 

Dorcas: No, that’s too dangerous in large crowds.

 

Rath: THE MACARENA!

 

All: =stare=

 

Rath: …?

 

Farina: I got it! The electric slide!

 

Serra: WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Farina: Everyone who knows it line up on stage and then we’ll teach the audience!

 

-= Serra, Arianna, Eliwood, Ninian, Lucius, Nino, Pent, Heath, Guy, Matthew, and Jaffar line up onstage with Farina in the middle =-

 

Nino: Where did you learn the ‘Electric Slide’, Jaffar?

 

Jaffar: …..at a party.

 

Nino: A….party?

 

Jaffar: …… =nod=

 

Nino: ^_^;

 

Farina: Ready, everyone? Okay, stand up audience!

 

Audience: =look at each other=

 

Farina: I said STAND UP!!!

 

Audience: =slowly stand up=

 

Farina: Okay, we’ll show it to you all one time and then you will do it, okay?

 

Audience: ….

 

Farina: Okay, here it goes!

 

-= Music Starts =-

 

All On Stage: It’s electric! =start dancing=

 

Farina: You can’t see it!

 

AOS: It’s electric!

 

Farina: You gotta feel it!

 

AOS: It’s electric!

 

Farina: Ooh…it’s shakin’!

 

AOS: It’s electric!

 

Rath: =from backstage= Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she’s a pumpin’ like a matic she’s a movin’ like electric….

 

Pent: SHE SURE GOT THE BOOGIE!

 

Farina: Alright, audience, join in!

 

Audience: =try to dance but go the wrong way and run into each other=

 

Lord Slasher: One, two, three, four, one, two-GAH! =crashes into Snicks=

 

Snicks: Watch where you’re dancing!

 

Lord Slasher: You’re the one who was going the wrong way!

 

May: EEK! =crashes into Lord Slasher=

 

Lord Slasher: AH!

 

May: Oh…sorry…

 

Lord Slasher: -_-

 

Farina: But you know it’s there! Here, there, and everywhere!

 

Ari: =tries to do the bend forward move and falls down=

 

potter29vo: =steps to the side and on Ari’s back=

 

Ari: OW!

 

potter29vo: Oh, I’m so sorry!

 

Rea: HEY! Get off of Ari! =yanks her off=

 

potter29vo: HEY! I said I was sorry!

 

Tofuboygtr: =runs into Zero84=

 

Zero84: =falls down=

 

Tofuboygtr: Whoops, sorry. ^_^;

 

Zero84: Grrr…=grabs his leg and pulls him down=

 

Tofuboygtr: OW!

 

FlyBoy: =sidesteps and trips over them= Wh-HEY! =THUNK=

 

Devil Angel M: Let’s see...you go to the right and-AH! =falls on top the pile=

 

Ari: =on her feet again= Ow…my back…

 

Farina: I’ve got to move! I’m going on a party ride.

 

Hitnwey: Step..clapstep..clapGAH! =runs into Ari=

 

Ari: =falls back down= This is just not my day!

 

RBMIfan: Okay...left foot… =clap=

 

savvykate: =gave up on electric slide and is now freestyling=

 

RBMIfan: Right foot… =clap=

 

savvykate: =does a spin and then kicks out her leg=

 

=SMACK=

 

RBMIfan: OUCH! #@!$!

 

savvykate: Awww…you said a bad word!

 

RBMIfan: BECAUSE YOU KICKED ME IN THE SIDE!

 

savvykate: =gasps= I did? Oh, I’m sorry!

 

RBMIfan: -_-;

 

Illusi0n,DotDotDot,&SamMas666: =have also given up on electric slide and are starting a Congo line=

 

FIREmblemFAN: Step forward….bring feet together…

 

I,D,&S: Ba ba ba ba BA! Ba ba ba ba ba BA!

FIREmblemFAN: Step…step…um…OH, I GIVE UP! =runs and joins Congo line=

 

I,D,S,&F: Ba ba ba ba ba BA! =all kick out left leg=

 

Sword of Seals: What the-AH! =jumps out of way of their legs=

 

SweetMisery430: Clap…and...oh, why couldn’t we have just done the Macarena!?

 

Congo Line: =kicks right leg=

 

Adri: =gets kicked and falls down= OW! What in the world!?

 

Crystal, wandering thief: Are you okay?

 

Adri: DO I LOOK LIKE I’M OKAY!?

 

Crystal: Well! You don’t have to be so grumpy…

 

Adri: >_<;

 

Ed, Master Tactician: =spots Congo line coming towards him= AHHHHH! =runs=

 

enangl27: Stupid dance… =sees Ed= Hey, where are you going?

 

Illusi0n: Let’s do the train now instead!

 

Train: CHOO CHOO!

 

enangl27: ….O_O;…eh, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. =joins the train=

 

boowazz: Wait for meeee! =joins train=

 

Farina: I’ll teach you, teach you, teach you: I’ll teach you the Electric Slide!

 

FireEdge: =trying to imitate Farina with little success= Well, you’re not teaching it very well!

 

Nino: =clap= Isn’t this fun, Jaffar?

 

=silence=

 

Nino: Jaffar? =looks to her side to see Jaffar is gone=

 

Jaffar: =in the train= LET’S DO THE BUNNY HOP!

 

Picup: =bends forward and back cracks= AH!

 

Squall: HANG ON! I’ll help you! =tries to pull Picup back up straight=

 

Picup: OW! I think I’ll just stay this way, thanks!

 

Squall: Oh, c’mon, I can get it!

 

Congo/Train/Bunny Hop Line: =wander onstage=

 

Nino: =spots Jaffar in the line= ....JAFFAR!?

 

Farina: HEY! What are you people doing onstage!? Get back to your seats RIGHT NOW!

 

Line: =plow on obliviously=

 

Guy&Heath: AHHH! =dive out of way=

 

Nino: Jaffar, you’re embarrassing me! =bottom lip trembles=

 

Farina: Get off the stage now! And what are you all doing!? That’s not the Electric Slide!

 

SweetMisery430: =runs onstage= Nino! Hey, what are you doing here?

 

Nino: Uh….do I know you, miss?

 

SweetMisery430: Stop playing dumb, muse! C’mon, we have to go work on my fics! =grabs Nino’s arm=

 

Nino: EEEK! Help! I’m being kidnapped! JAFFAR!

 

Jaffar: Sure got the boogie! =shakes his groove thang=

Fan Girls: =swoon=

 

Nino: JAFFAR!!! =gets dragged away by SweetMisery430=

 

Arianna: =staring at the chaos= Well…now what?

 

Farina: Oooo….I don’t know!! This isn’t going how I planned!

 

Erk: Well, duh, we can see that!

 

boowazz: Hey! A camera!

 

Ephidel: NO! No touchie!

 

boowazz: Me want! =grabs camera=

 

Ephidel: MINE! =pulls it back=

 

boowazz: GIMMEE! =pulls on camera and it goes flying=

 

All: NOOOO!

 

-= screen goes fuzzy, then a face suddenly appears with a strange glow on it and a pitch black background behind it =-

 

Face: =in creepy voice= Total slaughter, total slaughter, I won’t leave a single man alive.  La de da de die, Genocide. La de da de dum, an ocean of blood. Let’s begin the killing time.

 

Voice: Karel, stop ripping off of Trigun and give the camera back to Ephidel!

 

Karel: =hands it over=

 

Ephidel: =focuses camera in on the stage=

 

Serra: =onstage= Well…that didn’t exactly go as well as we could’ve hoped…

 

Ari: =nursing injuries= BIG understatement.

 

RBMIfan: %$#@ right it is!

 

savvykate: Awww…you said another bad word!

 

RBMIfan: -_-;

 

Hitnwey: Next time, how about we try something a little less dangerous? Like, fighting a dragon without Durandal, for instance…

 

Lord Slasher: Or telling Raven is pants make him look fat.

 

boowazz: =pouting= I wanted the camera…

 

Illusi0n: Oh, cheer up! =offers food= Bread?

 

boowazz: AHHHH! =jumps behind seat=

 

Illusi0n: =blinks= What did I say?

 

Serra: =ahem= To make up for this rather unfortunate disaster, we have put together a special presentation! I present to you: the Best of the Worst!

 

-= Serra runs offstage as a screen drops =-

 

:=: Bartre’s tryout :=:

 

Bartre: =starts shaking hips= I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts. And I’m too sexy for Caelin, too sexy for Caelin, Karla, and Japan. =takes off shirt=

 

--

 

Audience: =recoil=

 

Devil Angel M: Well, I didn’t need to ever see that again!

 

Rea: =throws up=

 

:=: Hector’s Tryout  UNEDITED :=:

 

Hector: She chunkin’ hates me! Trust! She chunkin’ hates me!

 

--

 

Erk: Why did we bleep out the word chunkin originally?

 

Arianna: Because I don’t like the word chunk.

 

Erk: -_-

 

Eliwood: Really? Chunk, chunk, chunk-

 

Arianna: =WHAM=

 

Eliwood: Ouchers… X_X

 

Erk: -_-;

 

:=: Wil’s Tryout :=:

 

Wil: WE ALL LIVE IN OUR YELLOW SUBMARINE!!!

 

--

 

Audience: =covers ears=

 

Serra: And now, the absolute worst of the bet of the worst…wait, did that make any sense? Anyways, this one was so horrible we didn’t even show it on TV!

 

:=: Nergal’s Tryout :=:

 

Nergal: =in BAAAAD singing voice= I feel pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and gay! And I pity the person who isn’t me today!

 

Erk: I pity myself! Your singing sucks!

 

Nergal: How DARE you insult me!? =lots of lightning and such=

 

Erk: Like this: You suck! You suck! You suck!

 

Nergal: Grrrr

 

Arianna: Uh…Erk

 

Erk: You couldn’t sing your way in or out of a paper bag!

 

Nergal: SILENCE! Or I’ll- I’ll-

 

Erk: You’ll what? Curse me? Hit me with some dark voodoo magic?

 

Eliwood: Erk, shush!

 

Nergal: I’ll- I’ll-

 

Erk: You’ll?

 

Nergal: I’LL GO CRY TO MY MOMMY! =runs out of audition room bawling his head off=

Arianna: Oh…my…

 

Erk: Hmph. What a sissy.

 

Eliwood: I want a cookie.

 

-= film ends and screen goes back up =-

 

Ed: HA! Now that one was funny!

 

Adri: I thought it was rather harsh. Poor Nergie wergie.

 

Sword Of Seals: O_o

 

Serra: =runs onstage= Well, that was entertaining! Now, are you ready for the finalists to perform?

 

Audience: YES!

 

Serra: Okay! Our first finalists to perform is…..Nino!

 

=cricket cricket=

 

Serra: Uhhh…Nino?

 

Lucius: WHERE’S NINO!?

 

Legault: We haven’t been able to find her since the ‘Electric Slide’ catastrophe.

 

Lucius: Do you know where she is, Jaffar?

 

Jaffar: …..

 

Lucius: =grabs him by the shirt and starts shaking him= THIS IS SERIOUS, JAFFAR!

 

Jaffar: =GLARE=

 

Lucius: =quickly lets go and backs up= Sorry…

 

Jaffar: …..

 

Rebecca: Well, I guess Raven will just have to go first, then.

 

Lucius: King Raven.

 

Rebecca: =eyeroll= Whatever.

 

Lucius: Alright, and in the mean time, the rest of you find Nino!

 

-= everyone scatters off =-

 

Lucius: Why do these sort of things always have to happen to me? I feel a migraine coming on….

 

Kishuna: …….

 

Lucius: No, you cannot be manager instead of me!!!

 

Kishuna: >_<

 

Serra: Uh…slight change of plans! His royal highness Raven will now be first to perform in the finals! HERE HE IS!

 

-= Raven walks onstage to much applause and screaming and Serra hurries off =-

 

Raven: =grabs mic= Thank you! My first song tonight is…

 

Nino: WAIT! =runs through audience and climbs onstage=

 

SweetMisery40: NINO! Get your butt back here!!!

 

Lucius: OSWIN!!!

 

Oswin: =grabs SweetMisery40= Miss, return to your seat quietly or I will be forced to…

 

SweetMisery40: Forced to what? You wouldn’t harm a girl now, would you?

 

Oswin: Uhh…um…well….

 

SweetMisery40: I didn’t think so. BUT I’LL HARM YOU! =punches him in the nose and then sits back down in her seat=

 

Oswin: Argh…the things I put up with… =goes to find a tissue=

 

Nino: Huff….huff… =wipes sweat off forehead=

 

Serra: Oh, Nino! Good to have you back! Does this mean you’ll be performing first?

 

Jaffar: …..

 

Nino: =spots him= JAFFAR! Why didn’t you save me!?

 

Jaffar: !!!

 

Nino: =chases Jaffar backstage=

 

Serra: Um…okay…well, I guess you can get started now, Raven! =walks offstage=

 

Raven: Hmph. MUSIC: “If I Ruled the World” by Nas, with a few changes made by me.

 

Arianna: He’s gonna sing a rap song?

 

Erk: Oh, dear Elimine.

 

Eliwood: You can wrap a song?

 

-= music starts =-

 

Rebecca&Lucius: =background singers=

 

Raven: Imagine stabbing people in the streets without guards harassing. Imagine going to the Dread Isle. Cruising in the purple, toxic waters. No marquess’ afraid I’m gonna kill their daughters. Days are shorter, nights are colder. Feeling like life is over, get bit by a cobra. I am hot, Karel’s not-

 

Karel: Grrrr…. =strokes Wo Dao=

 

Raven: It’s elementary, he wants us all gone eventually. Trooping out of Lycia for a fake knowledge. If Ilia wasn’t cold we’d all have the gold. Imagine Serra flashin’, fashion, designer clothes, diamonds and a rose, Farina’s rolling in the dough even though she’s on parole.

 

Farina: How did he know!?

 

Raven: No flubber, imagine Matthew’s job if he wasn’t undercover.

 

Matthew: Is he suggesting that I’m weak? =sharpens sword=

 

Raven: Just some thoughts for the time, a small glimpse in my mind, listen as I say ‘THIS WORLD IS MINE’.

 

Rebecca&Lucius: If he ruled the world….

Raven: Imagine that.

 

Lucius: He’d blow up tons.

 

Rebecca: I love him even though he’s craze-zay!

 

Lucius&Rebecca: Blue gems and pearls.

 

Raven: Could it be, if you could be mine, we’d both shine.

 

Lucius&Rebecca: If he ruled the world….

 

Raven: Still living for me in these crazy days and times.

 

-= music stops =-

 

Raven: ….

 

Audience: WHOOOOOOO!

 

Raven Fans: GO RAVEN!!!

 

Lucius: Take a bow, Lord Raymond!

 

Raven: The King bows to no one… =walks offstage regally=

 

Arianna: The King? You mean Raven is really Elvis in disguise!?

 

Eliwood: Shouldn’t he have to actually sing a song?

 

Erk: Like we do anything by the rules.

 

Lucius&Rebecca: =bow and walk offstage=

 

Serra: =walks back onstage= Well, that was an…erm….inspiring performance! I’ve been told that Nino has composed herself a bit, so here she is to sing her first song of the finals!

 

Nino: =skips onstage= Hiya!

 

Nino Fans: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

 

Serra: Take it away, green-haired girl! =walks offstage for the billionth time=

 

Nino: I will be singing….’ Hannah Got Ran Over By a Reindeer’!

 

Erk: What. The. Flux.

 

Eliwood: Aww…poor Hannah!

 

Arianna: O_o;

 

Erk: =sarcasm= Our contestants just sing all the high quality songs…

 

-= Uncle Jan starts playing a banjo =-

 

Nino: =redneck voice= Hannah got ran over by a reindeer, walking home from our tent Christmas Eve. You might not believe in miracles, but now our whole team does believe.

 

Eliwood: I didn’t know Nino could be mean…

 

Erk: Must be ‘Pent’ up rage from her argument with Jaffar.

 

Arianna: Was that a pun? OME, did Erk make a pun?

 

Erk: ….

 

Marcus: HAHAHAHA! Serves that old woman right!

 

Nino: Marcus got ran over by a John Deere, walking home from our tent Christmas Eve….

 

Marcus: =jaw drops=

 

Hannah: HEHEHEHE- =cough, sputter, wheeze, DIES=

 

Nino: You might not believe in tractors, but now our whole team does believe. SING IT, UNCLE JAN!

 

Nino&Jan: NOW WE DO BELIEEEEEEEVE!

 

-= Jan jumps offstage and attempts crowd surf =-

 

potter29vo: AHHHHH! =dives to the side=

 

Jan: =lands on ground= Ugh….

 

Nino: Thank you! =bows=

 

Serra: =runs onstage with Raven behind her= Hello! How ya feelin’?

 

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Jan: Ow….

 

Serra: One more song before the voting lines open! Just one, you say? Well, that’s because Raven and Nino are going to do a duet!

 

Raven: =fuming mad= I’M CALLING MY LAWYER! I’m not picking a song to do with her! =jabs finger at Nino=

 

Jaffar: =appears from nowhere= …..And what is wrong with Nino?

 

Raven: YOU CAN’T INTIMIDATE ME, ANGEL MAN!

 

Serra: Actually, your kingness, you don’t get to pick the song to sing with Nino!

 

Raven: =attention back to Serra= WHAAAT!?

 

Serra: The song you two will be singing has already been selected by a group of panelists!

 

Raven: And they are…?

 

Serra: Panelist 1: Cleric Cynthia!

 

Cynthia: Hey Raymie, remember me?

 

Raven: =jaw drop= That’s my ex-girlfriend/sex slave from 10th grade! I dumped her for that Inn lady!

 

Serra: Panelist 2: Dancer Deb!

 

Raven: That’s the girl I met at that party in Badon!

 

Deb: YOU NEVER CALLED ME!!!

 

Raven: THAT’S BECAUSE PHONES DON’T EXIST YET!!!

 

Serra: And Panelist 3: Mage Maggie!

 

Maggie: Remember me?

 

Raven: Uhhh…actually…no I don’t…

 

Maggie: THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER MET ME!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!

 

Raven: O_o;

Jaffar: =cackling evilly=

 

Serra: And these wonderful panelist have decided that you and Nino will be singing the song ‘Love Will Find A Way’ from Lion King 2!

 

Jaffar: KEKEKE- Wait, WHAT!? =GLARE=

 

Serra: Well, get to it, you two! =drags Jaffar offstage with her=

 

-= music starts =-

 

Nino: =timidly= Umm…in a perfect world…

 

Nino Fans: WOOOHOOO!

 

Nino: One we’ve never known…we would never need, to face the world alone…they can have the world…we’ll create our own….I may not be brave, nor strong, nor smart…..

 

Eliwood: She really shouldn’t put herself down like that!

 

Arianna: O_o;

 

Erk: -_-x

 

Nino: But somewhere in my secret heart I know, love will find a way…anywhere I go, I’m home, if you are there beside me like dark, turning into day, somehow we’ll come through, now that I’ve found you…love will find a way…

 

Raven: I am SO not doing this!

 

Panelists: =GLARE=

 

Raven: =in an unenthusiastic tone= I was so afraid…now I realize…love is never wrong, and so love never dies…

 

Karel: Until I stab it to death! KEKEKEKEKE!

 

Karla: =gags him= Can it, brother dearest!

 

Raven: =turns to face Nino and his voice becomes loving= There’s a perfect world…shining in your eyes…

 

Jaffar: !!!!!! =assassin GLARE of DOOM and DEATH=

 

Both: And if only they could feel it too, the happiness when I’m with you, they’d know…love will find a way…anywhere we go, we’re home, if we are there together, like dark…turning into to day…somehow we’ll come through..now that I’ve found you…love will find a way….

 

-= music stops =-

 

Lucius: =sniffle= That was so beautiful….

 

Erk: =falls out of chair laughing= HAHAHAHA! THE EXPRESSION ON RAVEN’S FACE!!!

 

Jaffar: …….

 

Legault: Angel of Death…your face is the same color as you hair…

 

Jaffar: =smoke blows out ears=

 

Raven: =waving to fans= Thank you! Thank you!

 

Nino: =bowing and smiling=

 

Karel: =rips of gag= KEKEKEKEKE!

 

Jaffar: … =whispers something in Karel’s ear=

 

Karel: !!!! =runs onstage=

 

Lucius: Karel!? Where are you going!?

 

Karel: MINE! I SHALL BE KING! =grabs Raven’s Burger King Crown, sticks it on his own head, and runs=

 

Raven: GIVE THAT BACK! I’M THE KING!

 

Karel: Not anymore! KEKEKEKEKE! =disappears through ceiling=

 

Raven: GUARDS, SEIZE HIM! UPSURPER! UPSURPER!

 

Nino: =looks around confused=

 

Jaffar: =grabs Nino and drags her backstage somewhere=

 

Serra: =runs onstage= Well…that wraps up the finals! Now, VOTING LINES ARE OPENED! Here’s Arianna with the voting rules!

 

VOTING RULES

 

Arianna: To vote either email me your vote or leave it in the guestbook. You can only vote for Raven or Nino. You can only vote once.

 

-  -  -  -

 

Serra: Well, that sums up this! Tune in next time to see the FINAL EPISODE of ‘Fire Emblem Idol’! And also, to finally find out who wins! See ya!

 

Raven: =trying to bash his way through ceiling= MY crown! MINE!

 

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Arianna: Only one chapter left….I’m feeling nostalgic…=sniff=

 

Latisha: Oh, get over it.

 

Arianna: For all who are reading this: THANKS FOR STICKING IN THERE!!! Since I don’t have reviews to answer I’ll answer guestbook comments!

 

--

 

:Kyray: This site was kinda a scrapped together thing so I don’t really have time to worry about the host. Thank you for the compliment!

 

:savvykate: Yes, I got your FF advice! Thank you! If you ever make that game I’ll buy it! ^_^ And really!? You like it better than DOE? Thank you!! ^__^

 

:Lord Slasher: Greetings, how’s lording and slashing? Tell me if you find Karel…he disappeared through the ceiling and we haven’t seen him since…

 

:boowazz: FEAR THE STALE BREAD!

 

:Hitnwey: I’m sorry! I know it’s taken me a long time but between school and my sister always stealing my computer….

 

:Illusi0n: Good idea! I will!

 

:FireEdge: Sorry to keep you looking for so long! Thanks for hanging in there!

 

:Zero84: Thank you for the compliments!

 

:potter29vo: Sorry about you almost getting hit by Jan! ^_^; But you were in the front row…

 

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Arianna: It all ends next time! See ya!

 

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