…………………….

……………

……..

…..

..

.

 

 

 

Arianna: This is going to be very bizarre. But I was listening to Weird Al cds and this idea just came to me. And I didn’t want to wait till Christmas so here is a parody of Weird Al’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy”! ^_^; It’s a TEENY bit angsty because of all the deaths.

 

 

 

~~~***~~~***~~~

 

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own this song or Fire Emblem. And the idea of Athos as Santa Claus is Ivanfanatic’s. (Hope you don’t mind! ^_^”)

 

~~~***~~~***~~~

 

-----------------------

 

^It was Christmas. Well, actually, it wasn’t. It was Easter. But it was still snowing for some reason by the Black Fang’s hideout. So Eliwood’s Elite was feeling Christmassy^

 

Lucius: Hey! Anybody wanna sing Christmas carols?

 

Erk: No.

 

Lyn: It’s not Christmas.

 

Rebecca: Well, it’s cold enough to be.

 

Hector: Your own fault for wearing shorts.

 

Rebecca: =*THWACK*=

 

Hector: @_@

 

Legault: I have a Christmas carol I could sing.

 

Lyn: And that would be?

 

Legault: “The Night Athos Went Crazy”

 

Pent: HEY! Athos is _not crazy_! He might have had a few strange ideas, like the one that vomiting is a sign from Elimine that we’re not supposed to eat, but he’s a good teacher!

 

Louise: *sigh* I never could get him to eat dinner.

 

Matthew: O_o Go ahead and sing it, Legault.

 

Ninian: *on harp* Da na na na!

 

----------------------------------

 

 

Legault: Down on the battlefield, all the Elite were in a debate. Over whether Lucius is gay, or whether he is straight.

 

 

---------------------------------

 

Lucius: I’m not gay! I just like pretty clothes!

 

Eliwood: Riight….

 

Lucius: Grrrrr…..*raises Lightning spellbook*

 

-----------------------------

 

Legault: When Athos teleported in, nearly scared ‘em half to death. He had an Aureola in his hand, and spiked grape juice on his breath.

 

----------------------------

 

Athos: This ‘ere Jape Gruice suuure is gud.

 

Pent: Ummm…Lord Athos?

 

Eliwood: *looks at can* It’s expiration date was 2 years ago!

 

Canas: Must be fermented.

 

--------------------------

 

Legault: From his beard to his sandals, he was covered in mines. Like one of those maniacs you see in the “Elibe Times”.

 

----------------------

 

Kent: *reading newspaper* Look! Hannah’s on the cover of the “Elibe Times”!

 

---------------------

 

 

Legault: And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye-

 

-------------------------

 

Athos: *raises Aureola* Merry Christmas to all! Now you’re all gonna _DIE_!

 

Arianna: It’s not Christmas!

 

Athos: Oh. Ummm…then…Happy Easter! *attacks*

 

~*KABOOM*~

 

 

---------------

 

Legault: The night, Athos went crazy. The night Graybeard went insane. All those years, in hiding. Something finally must’ve snapped in his brain.

 

--------------

 

Eliwood’s Elite: AHHHH!!! *runs for cover*

 

Athos: Ehehehe! *throws mines by the Shrine of Seals*

 

--------------

 

Legault: Well, the Shrine of Seals is gone now, he decided to bomb it. Everywhere you’ll find pieces, of Brammimond the living puppet.

 

---------------

 

Brammimond: I thought we were friends!

 

Athos: *cackles*

 

Brammimond: See if I help _you_ find legendary weapons ever again.

 

--------------

 

Legault: And he tied up Fiora and Farina, and he held Florina hostage. And he ground up poor Huey into pegasus sausage.

 

--------------

 

Florina: HUUUUEEEEEEY!

 

Huey: Neigh?

 

Florina: Huey! You’re alive! *glomp*

 

 

Athos: *looks at sausage biscuit* Then what am I eating?

 

Fiora: Where’d Farina go? Wasn’t I supposed to be tied to her?

 

Athos:  “O_O”

 

-----------------

 

Legault: He got Isadora and Hawkeye, with an old Dell.

 

-----------------

 

Athos: Stupid thing WON’T WORK! *throws computer*

 

Isadora,Hawkeye&Bartre: *get hit in head*

 

Hawkeye&Isadora: X_X

 

Bartre: Huh?

 

----------------

 

Legault: And he slashed up Bartre just like Karel.

 

-----------------

 

Athos: *splits into several people, disappears, then reappears and chops up Bartre*

 

Lowen: Fillet of Bartre.

 

Karla: NOOOOOOOO!!! Eh. Oh well. Atleast now I get his money.

 

-----------------

 

Legault: And he picked up a Forblaze, and he barbecued Oswin. And he took a big bite and said it tastes just like chicken.

 

-----------------

 

Serra: EEEEEWWWW!!!!

 

 

Lucius: That is wrong on  _so_  many levels.

 

Erk: Oswin; The OTHER white meat.

 

----------------

 

Legault: The night, Athos went crazy. The night Lord Oldy went nuts. Now you can hardly walk around Nabata Desert, without stepping in myrmidon guts.

 

---------------

 

Myrmidon#34: Hey, the guardian of the desert is gone! So….

 

Myrmidons#3-67: PARTAY!

 

Athos: Muhahaha!

 

*KABOOM*

 

---------------

 

Legault: There’s the forces from Bern, and the pegasi. There’s a wagon from the “Ephidel News” , and wyverns circling around in the sky. And the spells are a flyin’, the body counts risin’, and everyone’s dyin’ to know, oh Athos, why? My my my my my my. You used to be one of the good guys.

 

---------------

 

Vaida: Attack!

 

Athos: *grabs Gespent*

 

Vaida: Don’t attack!

 

Ephidel: This is Ephidel, reporting live from the Nabata Desert. It appears the old fart Athos has finally gone mad. Score one for Lord Nergal.

 

Sain: *watching body counter* 41, 42, 43……78? Hey, even I know that’s not in order! It should be 54!

 

Rath: O_o;

 

---------------

 

 

Legault: Etruria, now Athos’ doing time. In Reglay Castle dungeon, for his horrible crime. Hey little Nils, don’t you cry no more tears. He’ll be out with good behaviour, in 1,900 more years!

 

-------------------

 

Pent: You are sentenced to life in prison!

 

Athos: You can’t keep me in here forever!

 

Pent: Yes we can. You’ll live forever.

 

------------------

 

Legault: But now Wil’s in therapy, and Serra’s still nervous, and Wallace got a job working for the postal service.

 

-----------------

 

Rebecca: Wil needed the therapy anyways.

 

Wil: And then, and then, and then the goats tried to eat my bow! *sniff*

 

Renault: *drawing pictures of Little Bunny Foo Foo* Uh-huh. And how does that make you _feel_?

 

***

 

Serra: *biting nails*

 

Guy: Boo.

 

Serra: EEEEEEEEEK! *beats him unconscious with healing staff*

 

Erk: There’s something ironic about the fact she used a   _healing_ staff to attack someone.

 

***

 

Wallace: *stamp*

 

Lyn: Umm…excuse me?

 

Wallace: *stamp*

 

Lyn: I need to mail a letter……..

 

Wallace: *stamp*

 

Lyn: EXCUSE ME?

 

Wallace: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!????!!??? CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY STAMPING???!!!???

 

Lyn: Nevermind. -_-;

 

Wallace: *stamp*

 

----------------

 

Legault: And they say Igrene, she’s on the phone every night. With a lawyer, negotiating the, land rights. They’re talking about, the night Athos went crazy, the night the Old Archsage flipped.  Died and still didn’t manage to save the world. Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped.

 

---------------

 

Athos: As I lay dying…….I think my life  _sucks_!

 

Raven: *guarding his cell* Shut up in there, you old coot.

 

-----------------

 

Legault: The night, Athos went crazy.  The night Graybeard went insane. All those years, in hiding. Something finally must’ve snapped in his brain. Something finally must’ve snapped, in his brain!

 

-----------------

 

Ninian: *finishes playing last note on harp, then glares at Legault*

 

Legault: What?

 

Ninian: That was HORRIFYING!

 

Isadora: I was attacked by a computer!

 

Oswin: You think THAT’S bad? I was aten!

 

Farina: SO WAS I!!!!

 

 

Canas: The correct term is “eaten”.

 

Bartre: Shut up, magic man. I was cut up!

 

Karla: I was rich…*sigh*  -_-

 

All: GET HIM!!!!

 

^Legault then ran for his life while the rest of the group chased him with various weapons^

 

Legault: Why are you mad at me? Arianna is the one who wrote the lyrics!!!

 

All: *stops and turns to Arianna*

 

Arianna: O_O Eh..hehe… ^_^; *runs*

 

All: GET HER!!!!!

 

^And they chased Arianna until she hid in a trash bin^

 

 

~~~^THE END^~~~

 

 

 

 

~~**------====-------====----**~~

 

Latisha: That was quite sickening.

 

Arianna: Shutup or they’ll hear you!

 

Karel: She’s in the trash bin!

 

All: GET HER!!!

 

Arianna: AHHHHH!!!! *runs*

 

Latisha: Ummm…anyways. Hope you people who actually bothered to read this aren’t too traumatized.

 

Arianna: *cornered* Help….

 

Latisha: I’m gonna go watch Arianna grovel for her life. Bye!

 

 

~~~~~~HAPPY CHRISTMAS IN APRIL~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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