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Arianna: Howdy! Welcome to Fire Emblem Singalongs!

 

Latisha: I think they could figure that out from the title, moron.

 

Arianna: I’ve been typing so many parodies of songs that I decided to just make a fic dedicated to them! ^_^ Exciting, huh?

 

Erk: No.

 

Eliwood: Not for us, atleast.

 

Arianna: Oh, and incase anyone’s been waiting “Amuck in America” will be updated sometime between tonight and early morning tomorrow. ^_^

 

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Disclaimer: I don’t own Fire Emblem or any of the songs.

 

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*~WARNING~*: Singing changed lyrics in public places may cause confusion and severe embarrassment.

 

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Limstella: First Song: My Mercenary Band! Parody of “My Band” by D12 and Eminem. And yes, it has been changed so it is PG.

 

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*scene is a stage with lots of screaming people in the audience*

 

Eliwood: I don’t know, dude. I think everyone’s all jealous and stuff because I’m like the lead fighter of the mercenary band. And I think everyone’s got a fluxing problem with me, dude. And they need to take it up with me after the show because…..

 

*music starts*

 

Eliwood: These ladies don’t even know the name of my band. But they’re all on me like they wanna hold hands. ‘Cuz once I kick Nergal’s butt they know that I’ll be the man. All because I’m the lead fighter in my band.

 

*lots of flashy lights and girls screaming*

 

Eliwood: *transfixed by lights for a second but then snaps back to reality*

 

 So I get off the battlefield right, I won the fight, I walk up to these hot chicks and I’m all like “Hello miladies, talk to me a moment, if you could? My name is Lord Eliwood.”  They’re all like:

 

“Oh my, it’s the guy with the sword! Becky, oh my fluxinElimine, he’s a lord! I swear to Elimine, I’m the prettiest girl you’ll see! Please, oh please, won’t you marry me?”

 

And by now, all the rest of the group’s jaws are slack. Especially when I grab my rapier and do my critical attack.  All the ladies start yelling when I show them my shield, throw their bras and their dresses and their panties on the battlefield.

 

So like every single night the guys pick a fight with me. But when we fight it’s kinda like starting rivalry. ‘Cuz they’re back on the field the next day with me. Dude, I just think you’re trying to steal the spotlight from me.

 

*Wil, who was trying to move the spotlight off of Eliwood, realizes the camera is on him and stands with his hands behind his back, whistling*

 

Eliwood: Yesterday Kent tried to kill me, because I told him Lady Lyndis is my wife to be. This leader stuff is the life for me. And all the others just despise me because….

 

*camera switches to Kent who is sharpening a sword then switches back to stage*

 

Eliwood: These ladies don’t even know the name of my band. But they’re all on me like they wanna hold hands. ‘Cuz once I kick Nergal’s butt they know that I’ll be the man. All because I’m the lead fighter in my band. My band, my band, my band, my band, my band.

 

*Raven runs in, punches Eliwood, and grabs his mic*

 

Eliwood: Hey, wha-

 

Raven: GIMMEE THE MIC!

 

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*spotlight switches to Raven*

 

Raven: You just wanna see a Hero do flips, don’t you. Hey, how come we don’t get in the chapter scenes, too?

 

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*spotlight switches to Erk*

 

 

Erk: Smash the enemies and fry them like Pent, but Eliwood’s in a trailer and we’re in a tent.

 

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*scene switches to Sain’s tent*

 

 

Sain: You want my autograph? Come into my tent. ^_~.  I’m Sain.

 

Random Village Girl: Oh, I thought you were Kent. *leaves*

 

Sain: -_-

 

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*scene switches to an Inn*

 

Matthew: What the heck is wrong with my room? If it gets any smaller I’ll have to sleep in a closet with a broom.

 

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*scene switches to library*

 

Canas: See, I know how to do Dark Magic, it’s difficult, but, all I did was read an ancient black book.

 

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*scene switches to a track where Wil is running laps*

 

Wil: Trying to run a lap, so Arianna will put me on the map.

 

*stops and starts doing jumping jacks*

 

Wil: Doing jumping jacks.

 

*gets plowed over by Wallace*

 

Wil: While getting knocked on my back.

 

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*scene switches to Raven and Lucius who are glaring at Eliwood*

 

Raven: Look at that little punk, thinking he’s da bomb.

 

Lucius: Yeah, I know man, he thinks he can take on anyone.

 

Raven: Hey, I thought we had an interview with “Ephidel News”?

 

Eliwood: No, I have an interview, not you two.

 

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*scene switches to a Medieval McDonalds*

 

Lucius: You’re gonna be late for target practice.

 

Erk: Man, I ain’t going to practice.

 

Raven: Our swords are screwed up.

 

Guy: And Eli-boy always looks best!

 

Hector: You know what, I’m gonna say something. Hey, Eliwood!

 

Eliwood: *points Durandal at him* You got something to say?

 

Hector: Uh, no.

 

*Eliwood leaves*

 

Matthew: I thought you were about to tell him off! What’s up?

 

Hector: &%$#, I’ll tell him when I feel like it, so SHUT UP! And you all didn’t even back me up and we’re supposed to be crew!

 

Matthew: I was about to talk right after you!

 

Hector: Heh, yeah right.

 

Matthew: I swear! I swear!

 

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*back to stage*

 

Eliwood: These ladies don’t even know the name of my band. But they’re all on me like they wanna hold hands. ‘Cuz once I kick Nergal’s butt they know that I’ll be the man. All because I’m the lead fighter in my band.

 

Matthew: They say the leader rocks, but the group does not. Once we fought in an arena in an amusement park. I’m gonna let Elibe know that proof is hot. I should steal his sword when the fighting starts.

 

Raven: Ready to snap on a stupid fan, everytime I hear-

 

Random Villager: Hey dude, I love your band!

 

Raven: We ain’t a band, dawg. We don’t play instruments.

 

Farina: So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent?

 

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*walking to arena*

 

Raven: And these guys, they can find every area code.

 

Eliwood: Raven, carry my bag.

 

Raven: Pansy, carry your own.

 

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*outside arena*

 

Matthew: Can’t make it to the stage, security won’t let me in.

 

Oswin: Who the flux are you? Where’s Lord Hector and Lady Lyn?

 

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*back at McDonalds*

 

 

 

Arianna: Dangit, I’m sick of this group. Time for me to go solo and make some soup. I told you I made all the plans and wrote all the strategies and crap.

 

Karel: ‘Till Raven slipped you some crack. *snicker*

 

Arianna: *slap*

 

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*Erk is talking with a reporter*

 

Erk: Castle Caelin battle, I was in the back. Shrine of Seals battle, I was in the back.  Flux the media, I got some suggestions. Flux Eliwood, ask me the questions. Like who’s Lord Pent, and how I got started.

 

Limstella: What about Eliwood?

 

Erk: Morph, are you retarded? Anyway, I’m the most popular guy in the group. Pretty purple hair, girls think I’m cute.

 

Serra: Hey sexy!

 

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*at a gym*

 

Wil: *laying on ground* General Wallace told me to do situps to get buff. Did two and a half and couldn’t get up. Flux Eliwood’s Elite, I’m out of this mess. I’m gonna start a group with Lucius.

 

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*back at stage*

 

(A/N: Don’t ask me how, but Wil got up and made it to the stage.)

 

Wil&Lucius: *in high, Boy Band voices* Girl, why can’t you see, you’re the only one for me, and it just tears my heart apart to know that you don’t know my baaaand.

 

Erk: FLUX THIS.

 

Raven: These chicks don’t even know the name of my band.

 

Erk: Ha ha.

 

Raven: Yet they’re all on me like they wanna hold hands.

 

Erk: Flux Eliwood.

 

Raven: ‘Cuz once I kick Nergal’s butt they know that I’ll be the man. All because I’m the lead fighter in my band.

 

Wil: *giggling insanely*

 

Erk: My band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band.

 

Bartre: *really deep voice* My baaaaaaaand!

 

Eliwood: The hottest band in the world, Eliwood’s Elite!

 

*Lowen runs onstage with salsa and chips*

 

Lowen: I’m the lead cook in my band, I get all the girl’s to take off their underpants. And the lead chef of my band, my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance. My salsa. Look out for my new dish, it’s called “My Salsa”. My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa makes all the pretty girls dance, and take off their underpants. My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance. My salsa.

 

Eliwood: *looks at now empty audience seats* Where’d everybody go?

 

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*~~~*~~~*

 

Heath: HAHA! You guys stunk so bad you scared everyone away!

 

Eliwood: Shutup, candy bar boy!

 

Erk: Nice comeback, Eliwood. -_-;

 

Eliwood: Thanks. ^_^

 

Erk: I was being sarcastic. -_-;;;

 

Arianna: That concludes the first song! ^_^;

 

Latisha: It was stupid.

 

Raven: HOW DARE YOU CALL YOUR FUTURE KING STUPID!

 

Latisha: -_-x

 

Arianna: Alright, I got things to do. But before I go, if anyone has any ideas for songs they want me to write parodies of feel free to suggest them and I will see if I can do it. ^_^ Ta ta!

 

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