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Arianna:
Okay, I swear this is the last one before I start working on the requested
ones! And after that, I have a whoooole list of songs
I wanna do! Sounds like fun, huh, Erky?
:=silence=:
Arianna:
Erky?
_:::At
Train Station:::_
Erk: I
need a ticket!
BoothPerson: To where, sir?
Erk:
ANYWHERE FAR FROM HERE!
_:::Back
At Studio:::_
Arianna:
Eh. =shrug= Start the music!
-------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:
This is a parody of the song “I’m An Asshole” by Dennis Leary. I do not own it
or Fire Emblem. If that word offends you, leave.
-------------------------------------
Limstella:
“I’m An Asshole” sang by……Hawkeye!
Pent:
WHAT?
--------------------------------------
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Hawkeye:
Folks, I’d like to sing you a song about the Elibean
dream. About me, about them- =points at rest of group=
ROG: Huh?
Hawkeye:
About the way our Elibean hearts beat way down in the
bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the valves of our
heart. Or maybe below the heart. Maybe
in the gut area. Maybe lower. Maybe somewhere you don’t wanna even think about.
ROG:
=group shudder=
Hawkeye:
We don’t know.
Arianna:
=points at Eliwood= He don’t know much.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
_:::In
Hawkeye:
I’m just your regular Beserker, with a regular job. I’m
your average desert guardian slob.
Heath:
=picking up stuff= So that’s how all this junk got
buried in the sand.
Hawkeye: I
like mines, and kilts, and fighting in a war. I’ve got an average hut, with a
nice straw floor.
_:::In
Hawkeye’s House:::_
Igrene#:
You call this AVERAGE? I demand my own room!
_:::Back To
Desert:::_
Hawkeye:
My daughter, my job, my desert, no tax. My strange makeup,
and a silver axe.
_:::Back
To House:::_
Igrene:
Oh, so you have money for the axe and makeup but you can’t buy a new house!
Heath:
=thwack= You’re ruining the song!
_:::Desert:::_
Hawkeye:
But sometimes that just, ain’t enough, to keep a man
like me interested!
Pent: Oh
no….
Athos:
No way….
Pent: Uh uhh……..
Hawkeye:
No, I gotta go out and have fun, at someone else’s
expense!
Pent: Oh
yeah!
Athos:
Yeah yeah!
All3:
Yeah, yeah, yeah….
_:::In
Small Alley:::_
Hawkeye: I
walk really slow, in a narrow alleyway, while people,
stuck behind me##, are going insane! I’m an asshole!
Pent: He’s
an asshole!
Athos:
What an asshole!
Hawkeye:
I’m an asshole!
Pent: He’s
an asshole!
Athos:
Such an asshole!
_:::In
Bathroom At
Hawkeye: I
use public toilets, I don’t fit in the seats, I walk
around with it stuck to me saying “Isn’t this neat?” I’m an asshole!
Pent: He’s
an asshole!
Athos:
What an asshole!
Hawkeye: I’m
an asshole!
Pent: He’s
the world’s biggest asshole! Literally. He’s really
big. Every tried to sit by this guy on a bus? Ain’t easy.
_:::On
Battlefield:::_
Hawkeye:
Sometimes I stand, in enemy spaces, while enemy
people, make enemy faces…..I’m an asshole!
Pent: He’s
an asshole!
Athos:
What an asshole!
Hawkeye:
=swings axe= I’m an asshole!
Enemy:
=gets chopped in half= He’s a real FLUXING
asshole!
_:::In
Daisy Field:::_
Hawkeye:
=doing ballerina dance= Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song, ranting and
raving### and carrying on…..
Raven: Did
someone say my name? =looks at Hawkeye dancing= AH! =runs=
Hakweye:
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong!
Ponder.
Ponder.
Ponder.
Hawkeye:
NAH! I’m an asshole!
Pent: He’s
an asshole!
Athos: What
an asshole!
Hawkeye:
I’m an asshole!
Pent&Athos: We’re getting tired of singing this!
_:::On
Box:::_
Hawkeye: Ya know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get myself a 70, 000 gold piece kilt! HOT PINK! With
wyvern skin on the outside and pegasus
fur interior, and a big bagpipe! YEAH! And I’m gonna
walk around playing that baby, for 23 hours, getting one breath per song,
sucking down half pounder cheeseburgers at “Olde Mc Donald’s” at lunchtime! And when I’m done sucking
down those slabs of gray matter, I’m gonna wipe my
mouth with Nergal’s cape, and toss the containers
right at his head, and there ain’t an Elimine dang thing he can do about it! You know why?
Because we have the holy weapons! That’s why! Two words.
Holy FLUXING weapons, okay? Black Fang,
The Barigan’s#### not dead, he’s frozen! And as soon as Wallace
digs through all that ice in Ilia and find him, we’re
gonna thaw him out. And he’s gonna
be pretty ticked off. You know why? Have you ever got hit with a Fimbulvetr#####? Well, multiply that by about 100 times. That’s how ticked off the Barg’s gonna be. I’m gonna get the Barg, and Roland….
Pent: Hey!
Hawkeye: And
Pent: Hey!
Hawkeye: And Athos…
Pent: HEY!
Hawkeye: And my bagpipe…
Pent: Hey, you know you really
are an asshole!
Hawkeye: =holds axe to his neck= Why
don’t you just shutup and sing the song, pal?
_:::On Stage In Desert:::_
Hawkeye: I’m an asshole!
Pent: =rubs neck= He’s an
asshole!
Athos: What an asshole!
All3: A-SS-HO-LE!
Hawkeye: Everybody now!
Everyone: A-SS-HO-LE!
Guys: Arf,
ruff ruff, arf ruff, arf ruff….
Hawkeye: Flux, Ah big bux. Tim tux. De dux….
Girls: Oooooohhh……..
Hawkeye: =fireworks go off in
background= I’m an asshole, and I’m proud of it.
------------------------------------------------------
Arianna: WHEEEEEE! This is my favorite so far!
Eliwood: What’s with all the #### thingies?
Arianna: Those are to mark notes. Here they are!
-.-.-.-.-
#: Igrene
is Hawkeye’s daughter.
##: He’s so big that he would
block the alley if it was really narrow.
###: ‘Raving’ sounds kinda
like ‘Raven’.
####: Barigan
is the guy who discovered Ilia or whatever, and it’s
a frozen land.
#####: An Anima ice attack.
######: The hero guy that was a
Berserker.
Arianna: Okay! See ya next time!
-.-.-.-.-
Heath: =wobbly eyes= Please
review!
…………..
……
…
..
.