[script]

[The scene opens with a Cher doll
sitting on a chair. At the table Jack,
Will and Grace.
A waiter stares at the doll.]
Jack: Please, stop staring!
Yes, it's Cher!
Will: Ok, that's it! (To the waiter)
Nothing for us. (To Jack) This Cher
thing is out of control! We're going!
Jack: What's the problem?
Will: You made us wait for an hour
for a table for four!
Grace: In the back, so she wouldn't
be gawked at...
Will: Ok, goodbye!
Grace: Freak!
[Will and Grace exit]
Jack: You're the freaks!
[From behind, Cher approaches]
Cher: You know, dude, it is a little
weird that you're talking to my doll.
Jack: [Thinking she's a drag queen]
Ummm... I don't think I need a drag
queen to define homo behaviour... But
I will say this: the look? Flawless!
Cher: Whatever... [She walks away]

Nome: WGcher
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Durata: 2 min. 36 sec.

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[karen]
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Jack: Uuuh... Working the attitude...
Ok, you're good!
Cher: I've had a lot of practice!
Jack: [Standing up] Hey, hey, hey!
You're not that great, Mister Sister!
Alright?
I do a better Cher than you!
Cher: You think so?
Jack: Actually it is: [Doing Cher]
"You think soooo!"
Cher: Are you kiddin' me with this?
Jack: Ok, the hand is perfect... But
it's more: [Doing Cher] " Are you
kiddin' me with thisooo!"
Cher: Get a life... [She walks away,
and then turns back, and starts singing]
If I could turn back time!
Jack: [Doing Cher] If I could turn
back tiooooooome!
Tiooooooome, tiooooooome!
Tiooooooome!
[Cher slaps Jack]
Cher: Snap out of this!
[Jack realizes he was talking to the
real Cher and faints]

[traduzione]

[script]

Jack: Are you Karen?
Karen: Yes, honey.
Jack: Well, Peter, Paul and Mary,
you are fabulous!
Karen: Well, thank you. Who are you?
Jack: I'm Jack.
Karen: Jack...? Ohh, Will's Jack?
Well, hello, honey. We've talked on
the phone a million times. I can't
believe we've never met.
Jack: Look at you, you little
hottie. Stand up!
Karen: Ohh! No! Come on!
[Stands up, bending over to pick her
purse, with her butt in the air]
Jack: Look at you. You are a
rocketship!

Nome: WGjackmeetskaren
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Karen: Ohh, get outta here, you
strange person.
[Removes sweater vest to show
off her tight top] This is...
What is this?
Jack: P.S., loving the boobs!
Perky, with all kinds of attitude.
Store-bought?
Karen: Uh-uh.
Jack: Right on! God, I had no
idea you would be so... kitten
with a whip! Come on, let's
touch stomachs!
[Jack pulls up his shirt]
Karen: Oh, my lord, you are a
complete freak!
[Karen lifts up her skirt and
her and Jack touch stomachs]

[traduzione]

[script]

Jack: Ok. I'm starting with this.
[Jack begins playing a syrupy
melody on the keyboard]
Karen: No, honey, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop.
Ehhh! Coma. Ehhh!
Jack: I want to sing a ballad.
I cry really good. I can do
the single tear.
Karen: Honey, listen to me.
You're in a gay club with a
nice ass. Start shakin' that
moneymaker!
Jack: You're nasty, Miss Jackson.
Karen: Oh, honey, you have no
idea. All right, come on. Push
that red button. My kid has one
of these. Red is samba. You just
push it. Push it, push it.
[A samba beat plays on the
keyboard]
Jack: Now what?
Karen: Now let it in, honey.
Come on, honey. Up, up, up.

Nome: WGsamba
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Durata: 2 min. 12 sec.

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[will]
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Come on, trust me. I'll show you
a little something here. It's
very simple. Keep your eye on the
birdie. And shoulder, and shoulder.
Easy does it. And then add the
hips. Yeah. And swing it, and
swing it. Saucy! Around the
world, around the world, we
like to travel.
Jack: I feel kinda dirty...
In the good way.
Karen: Yeah, that's taking
shape, honey. Can I just...
here. Stick with me. And...
here we go. Ohh! Oh, yeah.
There you go. Around the world,
around the world. One-way ticket.
Paris, Brazil... Bangkok! Uh-huh!
Yeah! You feel the difference?
Jack: Yeah.
Karen: Yeah. What's going on,
honey? What is this?
Jack: My tummy feels funny.
Karen: Turn it off, honey.
Turn it off. You were right,
honey. Start with a ballad.

[traduzione]

[script]

Will: "Manhattan interior
designer Grace Adler, 26..."
[Stops and looks at Grace]
Grace: It must've been a typo.
Will: Mmm.
Jack: More like a lie-o.
Will: Grace, this is great!
Grace: There's a picture and
everything.
Will: Look at that gorgeous face!
Grace: Look at the leather pants.
Jack: Look at those massive jugs.
Will: Yeah. What's going on there?
[All three look closely at the
picture in the paper]
Grace: What are you talking about?
My... "jugs"... look exactly like
they do in the picture.
Will: They definitely don't. No.
These are, like, 5 times the size.
I mean, maybe it was the angle
the photograph was taken. You know,
the King Kong was only 8 inches
tall. Look. Let me show you. And
I'm a gay man, so this means
nothing.
[Will cups Grace's breasts]
This is how big yours are, see,
whereas the picture gives the
illusion of, like, thisness.
[Moves his hands down]

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[grace]
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Grace: Oh! You're crazy!
Jack: Grace, let me see now.
I am also a gay man, so this
means nothing. [Cups Grace's
breasts] Yeah, Will's right.
These are definitely smaller.
Oh, my god. I just got to
second with Grace!
Grace: I guess they do look a
little hugesque.
Jack: Do me. See how big mine are.
Grace: Jack, no.
Jack: Come on! You got felt up.
Grace: Ok, but I'm a straight
woman, so this means nothing.
Jack: Ok.
Grace: [Grace cups Jack's Pecs]
Someone's been working out?
Jack: Guilty.
Will: Hey, hey, Gracie, you know,
while you're giving it away over
there... Huh?
Grace: Now, these are some knockers!
[Grace puts the other hand on Jack's
pec; Will puts a hand on Jack's pec;
Jack puts a hand on Will's pec;
Jack and Will both put their other
hands on Grace's breasts]
Will: Ok. This just got weird.
[They remove their hands and
move apart]

[traduzione]

[script]

Jack: 3 words.
Karen: Yeah.
Jack: (Off Karen's miming)
First word...
Karen: Mm-hmm.
Jack: Sounds like... Head,
uh, eyes, nose, face. Face!
Sounds like face. Bace,
case, dase, jase,
wase, nase...
Karen: Honey, those aren't
even words. No, come on.
(Points to Grace's desk)
Jack: Uh, place... space...
Karen: No... Oh, lord. Oh,
hold up. Wait.
(Karen exits to the swatch
room and grabs a red string
mop. She runs to Grace's
desk and bounces the mop
around, picks up a stack of
swatches, and makes squeaking
sounds:)
Karen: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi...

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Eeh...
Jack: Grace!
Karen: Uh-huh. (Holds up three
fingers.)
Jack: Second word.
Karen: Uh...oh, um... Ok,
wait. Oh, oh, oh.
(Thrusting hips) Uhh.
Jack: Ok, I got that one.
Karen: Yeah! Uh-huh.
Jack: Ok, so, um, who did Grace
(Thrusting hips) uhh?
(Karen holds up three fingers.)
Ok. Third word.
Karen: Ok, Oh, it's tough.
Uh, uh... Ok, Sam.
Jack: Sam?! Oh my god! Grace
had sex with Sam?!
I'm young again!
I'm young again!
(Jack and Karen jump up and
down in delight and touch
tummies.)
Jack: Oh! Yes!

[traduzione]

[script]

Karen: Will, this is Rosario.
Will: It's nice to meet you.
Karen: Come on, honey...
Sit-o down-o. Try not
to talk-o.
Rosario: You hear how she
talks to me?
I speak English, ok?
Karen: Oh, yeah. Except
when it's time to work.
Then it's all,
"No hablo inglés."

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[traduzione]

Karen: Will, questa è Rosario.
Will: Piacere di consocerla..
Karen: Coraggio, tesoro...
Siedite. No cercar de
hablar.
Rosario: Sente con che
tono mi parla?
Parlo inglese, ok?
Karen: Oh, certo. Tranne
quando c'è da lavorare.
In quel caso è un continuo:
"No hablo inglés."