Hello, my name is Lucifer.  I don't stand on formalities so you can call me Lucy. I really enjoyed her original series; you could say I had a Ball watching it.  The scene where she tried to create wine by stomping on grapes and got in a fight with the other grape stumper really broke me up. The Mega Vitamin sketch was another of my favorites. The series was full of scenes that filled me with laughter.  I tried to give her a break for all the enjoyment she gave me.

Most people see me as this horrible monster with horns and a tail.  Personally I fancy myself more the James Bond type.  In my opinion Sean Connery was the only real James Bond.  After he left the series it became a farce.  When I go to a bar, I like to say  “I’ll have martini, shaken not stirred”

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Like 007 I got my share of chicks.  You'd be surprised how many women are turned by the thought of spending the night with  The Prince of Darkness.  It has a nice ring to it don't you think.  I showed them a hell of a good time.  Some of the better ones really brought out the devil in me.

Mr. Big, the creator of all things, gave me the job of making people miserable.  In order to make my job more a challenge The Great One .as he likes to be called put some limitations on me.  I couldn’t directly cause anyone physical harm,  I had to make them cause their own misery.

At first I wondered how was I going to do that.  Then it came to like a bolt of lightening.  I would give them the power of thought and I would also give them an ego.  I don't like to boast but the ego part was a work of genius. I considered giving them telepathy as well, but at heart, I'm really a good guy trying doing his job. I couldn't disobey Mr. Big, (he insists that when I write about him I put his name in bold letters). Talk about ego, his ego is bigger then the sun your planet revolves around.

With their ego, people felt separated from each other. They felt the need to compare themselves with others of their kind. Usually they felt that they came up lacking.  People genuinely believe that money, power etc would make them happy.  Just look at the pathetic way Howard Hughes died and you can see what a load of shit that is.

They also had a need to feel superior to certain groups of people. Hitler felt this way about the Jews as well as others that he didn’t care for.  Mr. Big was very proud of me for creating the conditions that allowed Hitler to come to power.

 He had a party in my honor and allowed the privilege of private audience. He broke out some his best champagne and we got really mellow.  When the big guy gets mellow you can talk to him just like a regular person.

I asked Hey man what’s with this misery kick your on. First your create humans then you have me make sure they’re hardly ever really happy.   Normally he is very touchy about anyone questioning him, but he was really feeling good, and, we were  tight, so he didn’t mind. He responded: I was around before the big bang,; humans can be very descriptive can’t they. It sure was one hell of a big bang all right.  Those were the days.  Believe me it will all work out for the best. Despite their ego and the power to think they can still be happy, however only a few people will be able to do this now. These are the special ones and they will be rewarded both during and after their brief life. The others will get it right eventually. Trust me, in the long term every thing will be cool.

I then asked about all the misery that people don’t bring on themselves such as cancer crippling accidents and so on,  his answer war rather cryptic: This is my way of seasoning them.  In the long run they’ll thank me for it. I asked him to go into more detail but he refused  he just laughed and said don’t worry I know what I am doing.  When I pressed him he said enough of this serious talk. For the rest. of time we amused ourselves telling dirty jokes,

The Rolling Stones wrote a song called Sympathy of the Devil which I will enclose.  I felt touched.  I made sure that their popularity remained high long after they should have faded away.

So few feel anything but anger and hatred towards me, it was nice to feel a little sympathy

I guess that’s about all I have to say.  Perhaps we will talk more later..

Your friend

Lucy