|| October 9th 2002
You know the saying how birthdays are supposed to be something to celebrate? Or how you're supposed to celebrate them in the best possible way? Have you ever thought about how you can celebrate them in the total opposite? You're worst nightmare coming true on your birthday? You probably haven't, but it's ok because I can admit that I never did neither. I mean I had it all, still do have some of it now. I was in the most famous boyband in the world, absolutely loaded, had a massive mansion as my home in Ireland, but most importantly I had what some people spend their whole life searching for. I had my one true love and soul mate. She was the most beautiful, loving girl I'd grown to know and instantly love throughout my teenage years through to adult hood. She had been my whole life every day for the past eight years of my life since we finally got together a friends party.
I longingly reached out and touched the gold photo frame sitting neatly on my bedside cabinet. Her gorgeous brunette hair fell elegantly down her smooth neck, framing all her delicate features on her gorgeous face. The most amazing pair of chocolate and honey coloured eyes gazed back at me, sparkling with love as I slowly felt my finger slip down the cold, thin sheet of glass that was separating us. The photo had only been taken one week ago today. Unbelievable. I let my index finger trail over the gold italic inscription at the top of the frame. October 9th 2002. That was the day our last ever photograph, as a couple would ever be taken. Little did I know it back then.
My throat developed a large lump in it, and my broad chest began to tighten as I felt my dark blue eyes begin to fill up with tears. I inhaled deeply and flopped down onto the double bed, my fists clenched into small balls of anger at myself. My position changed and I lay on my back with my hands folded beneath my head as I gazed mindlessly up at the cream ceiling of mine and Georgina's bedroom.
She used to love this room. It was her favourite one out of the whole house, I remembered as I felt a slight smile tug on the corners of my dry lips. My mixed up thoughts and memories travelled back to the last day we had spent together, October 9th 2002. My 24th birthday.
~*Flashback*~
A soft pair of lips were gently caressing everywhere all over my tired face. My chest rose and fell heavily as I woke up, but I still kept my sleep filled eyes closed.
"Happy Birthday sexy."
Georgina's soft voice murmured against my ear as she moved her naked body up closer to mine. I grinned as I finally lifted my eyelids to let in the light.
"Morning beautiful," I replied as I slid my right arm under her slim waist and ran my other hand through my already messy hair.
"Don't even think about snuggling up to me and going back to sleep Nicky!"
Georgina's sweet voice laughed.
"I won't," I replied as I snuggled my head down into the smooth curve of her neck and closed my eyes again as I inhaled her gorgeous scent. I felt myself grinning as I waited for her reaction.
"Twenty four today!" She whispered, as her other hand began to softly stroke my forehead. "So I'll let you off on that one!"
I opened my eyes grinning as she stared back at me with that sexy mischievous twinkle in her gorgeous eyes, one that I never grew tired of seeing.
"I love you!" I told her as my hand began to run itself through her fine dark hair.
"I love you too Nicky, always have done and always will."
Softly I blew a strand of hair away from her face as I tilted her chin towards mine and brushed her lips teasingly with mine. The lovely scent of her filled me as we continued to kiss.
"A great start to a great day," I thought happily to myself as I pulled away and smiled happily.
~*End Flashback*~
I sighed deeply to myself as again I realised I was never going to feel the irresistible caress of her full lips on mine ever again.
"It's just too surreal," I realised to myself as my eye wandered around our what was once, tidy bedroom.
After we had awoke that day and 'celebrated' my birthday, I remember Georgina telling me to skip breakfast as she had a surprise planned! When she had passed me the blindfold I recall saying to her,
"What do you want me to do with this?"
She had rolled her massive brown eyes in mock annoyance.
"Put it on blondie!"
I grinned as my body filed up with soft warmth as I imagined the sound of her sexy voice and also at the remembrance of her little nickname for me. No one knew about that one. Not even the rest of the lads, our families, the media or the fans. It was one of the little things that remained totally private and personal to us both in our mad lifestyles. I began to frown like usual as reality sunk in yet again and I realised that she wouldn't ever call me that again in her sweet laughing voice, or sigh and put her hands on her shapely hips whenever I had my blondie moments as she liked to call them. I felt my stomach begin to turn. The whole day had been perfect, the best. Neither of us, especially me ever considered the idea of how it could end up going the total opposite.
*~Flasback~*
"Where are we going again?" I questioned Georgina in my Irish accent as she pushed her foot down on the accelerator to her silver BMW that I had bought her previously for her birthday.
"Nicky! It's a surprise, you know, the thing where your not meant to know what happens!" She replied with a teasing tone to her laughing voice.
I rolled my eyes despite the fact I had a black blindfold tied around my head.
"The Garda will think your kidnapping me or something!" I told her, very pleased with myself as I tried not to smirk in her direction.
I could tell from the tone of her gentle voice that she wasn't falling for any of it.
"Besides," she continued, "No one will even find us here, speaking of which!"
"Finally!" I muttered but then grinned innocently in what I hoped was the direction of Georgina's face.
"Nix stop grinning away to yourself in the mirror like an idiot and undo your seatbelt!"
Feeling a huge red blush working its way around my face, I busied myself with the thick strap of my seatbelt as I heard Georgina pulling things out of the boot.
"Is that a seagull?" I suddenly asked as I felt the car door being pulled open.
"Might be!"
Came her teasing reply. "Now wait here ten minutes darling, and don't try to move because you will probably kill yourself!"
The sound of her mocking laughter rang in the still air as she bent down and kissed me soundly on my lips.
Her sweet breath tickled my ear as she moved her head up closer to it and began to whisper.
"Now be a good boy or you'll be punished!" v
I instantly grinned and felt her soft skin against mine.
"Is that just a threat or a promise!?" I teased back, my voice turning huskier as I thought about what she had just said.
"Wait and see!" she replied cheekily and suddenly bolted leaving me sitting with a big smirk on my face as I waited for her return.
I jumped about a mile off the leather car seat as I suddenly felt a slim arm wrap itself around my waist and begin to pull me out of the car carefully.
"Christ G, you nearly gave me a heart attack," I exclaimed as I breathed in her familiar perfume.
I placed my arms over her narrow shoulders and allowed her to lead me to our awaited destination.
"Sit!"
She instructed as she finally bought us both to a standstill. The floor beneath my Nike trainers was soft and I my best bet was that we were on grass.
"Now," she whispered seductively. "Promise your going to be a good boy and keep your eyes closed if I take this off?"
The touch of her fingers drifting against the velvet fabric of the blindfold was spreading goosebumps along my forehead. Jolts of electricity were racing through my body and my thoughts travelled back to earlier this morning. With a broad smile on my face I instantly nodded my blond head up and down as the sound of waves crashed against what I was guessing as a rocky cliff.
"Good because if you don't they'll be trouble!" she threatened playfully, pausing to kiss my softly on my lips.
~*End Flashback*~
I opened my eyes lazily rolled off the creased bed and moved slowly over to her dressing table. Gritting my teeth in the process, I gingerly picked up a half-used bottle of her perfume, Eternity ~ Calvin Klein. I pushed the nozzle down, filling my surroundings with its enchanting aroma. I'd bought Georgina this for her seventeenth birthday, it was the first present I'd ever bought her and as tradition always bought it for her along with something else. She'd continued to wear it ever since. Everything about this aroma reminded me of her.
I gazed into the mirror and observed my reflection. My hair was a total mess and stubble was beginning to show due to the lack of shaving. It was only one week ago, one week ago today exactly.
The sunlight streamed in through the metallic blinds to our window and it caught the sparkle from my new solid, silver Dolce and Gabanna watch, that Georgina had actually bought for me last week, my birthday present. Exactly this time I realised to myself as I studied the thin hands on it, I was with her. I was probably opening the black velvet box that had revealed the watch, either that or feeding her some strawberries. I smiled in sweet remembrance.
I picked up my packet of fags and instantly lit up. I breathed in the strong nicotine. My small chuckles as I watched myself taking a drag of the fag in the mirror before me, finally slowly faded out.
"Why are you even doing this Nicky?" I said out loud to myself breaking the silence of the cold room.
If there was one thing in the whole world I absolutely despised, it was smoking. I used to literally feel like heaving if I let alone smelt it on anyone, even fans. However, during the last week, my whole world has crashed down around me so I think it qualifies better as an excuse, compared to others who just say they do it because they want to fit in.
My stare drifted round to the corner of the room where my baby blue Adidas hoodie lay that I was wearing exactly this time last week, along with the white designer shirt I'd worn that night. It seemed so long ago that I had wore both those items of clothing, almost as if my twenty fourth birthday never occurred. But reality claims it did despite how much I wish it hadn't. Romantic memories from the picnic that Gina had planned on the deserted cliff top overtook my mind, and I inhaled more of my much-needed nicotine.
*~Flashback~*
"Gina!"
I gasped as she finally let me open my eyes, but not before planting twenty four soft butterfly kisses all over my smiling face.
"One for each of your birthday years!"
She announced her own lips smiling against my freshly shaved cheek.
"You smell gorgeous, what are you wearing?" Her voice asked as she affectionately rubbed her small nose lovingly against mine.
"Aftershave believe it or not!" I replied cheekily.
"And another thing, my kisses not good enough for ya now, you have to go Eskimo style like?"
I watched her face break into that heart warming smile that made my whole body melt every time.
"You didn't have to do all of this you know," I added as I turned to face her, my eyes adjusting themselves to the strong light directly streaming downwards in our direction.
All around us was delicious looking food, all of both our favourites. A massive chocolate dessert along with a bowl of strawberries and whipped cream stood proudly in the middle. Smirking, I cheekily raised my eyebrows and eyed the strawberries and cream longingly.
"Got something planned babe?" I smirked as I nodded my head in their direction.
Instantly Georgina's face lit up teasingly, the powerful October sunlight shining off her bouncy hair. She grinned at me that perfect little grin and I felt my navy Adidas trackers begin to tighten in the lower area.
"Nicky, we're eating first!" she laughed as I watched her eyes travel down my body pausing at my growing bulge. "Well as long as I get to eat you for dessert then!" I replied, my voice slightly rusted with lust and an increasing want.
Her chocolate eyes sparkled excitedly and I began to watch her with a small smile on my face as she giggled softly to herself and began to set out the food onto plastic plates.
~*End Flashback*~
I watched as I put my fag out in the blue ashtray that was normally just for show. The last of the grey smoke died out and with one last lingering look around the bedroom, I walked out and down the long hall to the flight of stairs situated at the end of it. I jogged down the steps at an increasing speed and entered the kitchen where silver and black appliances stood out proudly, clean and sparkling.
I looked onto the work surface and saw the still unwashed plates from last week. Again it reminded me of the picnic, we had spent most of the day on that cliff finally being able to talk in peace and spend lots of time alone, well until early evening anyway. We'd talked about everything, how we first met, how she first turned me down, our first date, our first kiss, the first time we made love�the firsts of everything in the past eight years. "No more firsts to come though," I thought sadly to myself as I flipped on the switch of my clear plastic kettle.
I glanced at the large clock that occupied a small space of the kitchen wall. "6pm," I muttered to myself as I poured in the water and stirred in the last of my sugar to the yellow smiling mug that happened to be there. Smiling was the last thing I felt like doing. What happened after the day at the picnic was too unreal to even imagine. No way in the world did I think it would ever occur.
I made my way carefully into our living room and sat on the couch that I remember Georgina and me spent hours arguing over. It was silly things like that, that I was missing the most. I remember the last few hours we spent together. My heart began to pang as I closed my eyes and took a slow sip. An image of her filled my mind and I struggled to breathe, quite like I had done last week when she finally revealed herself to me.
~*FlashBack*~
"Gina babe, we're gonna be late," I shouted up as I wearily paced the bottom of the stairs.
Observing the time on my mobile phone as I looked at it expectantly, waiting for it to ring and have Kian yell down at the phone at me asking us where the hell we were!
"I'm nearly ready," she wailed as her voice became panicked.
I rolled my eyes and laughed, I should know by now that Georgina always had a tradition of being late.
"Just one of her many talents!" I thought as I smiled, slightly laughing to myself, as I opened the front door to the mansion.
Turning around, I felt my heart stop beating. At the top of the stairs was the image of a goddess. Dressed in a long, white, elegant dress, the tanned colour of her skin glowed and the layers of her dark hair lay freely around her face. Her brown eyes sparkled whilest surrounded in smoky eye shadow, giving her an expression of smouldering sexiness.
"Georgina," I breathed as I watched her walk down the steps, shyly smiling as if we were going out on a first date. "Will I do?" She asked shyly, smiling sheepishly.
"You'll more than do, you look absolutely stunning," I told her as I grabbed her hand and grinned at her.
"You're not to bad yourself!" she replied whilest giving me the eye over.
"I've changed my mind, lets just forget tonight and have an early night," I suggested as I began to head for the stairs.
"Nicky!"
Her addictive voice laughed.
"You know the boys will go mad if we don't show up, it is for you after all!"
I pretended to pout and put on a puppy face.
"Please?" I begged as she pulled me back down the stairs.
"Later sexy!" She whispered softly as she teasingly kissed my lips.
I felt a tingling sensation explode all over my body and sighing I pulled away.
"We've gotta stop or you won't have a choice in the matter of going to bed early!" I said, only half joking as we headed towards the door.
"I love you Nicky, happy birthday baby!" She said, her smile illuminating her face.
"I love you too." I replied as we walked over the stone gravel to both our parked cars.
~*End Flashback*~
I gazed blankly at the television screen. First of all we had gone to a posh restaurant for a meal with Kian and Jessica, Bryan and Kerry, Shane and Gillian and Mark with his date for that night. After that we had all decided to go clubbing. I however hadn't been up for it and wanted to go back home to bed with Georgina but I'd let the boys and her persuade me just to stay out a but longer even if it was only for an hour. How I don't half wish I'd stuck to my guns, none of this would have happened if I had.
~*Flashback*~
"I'm so hot," Gina said as we walked out of the doors from the over packed nightclub.
"Tell me about it," I sighed, whilest wiping away sweat from my forehead.
"This has got to have been one of your best birthday's ever though?" Georgina asked as she linked her hand in mine and walked in time with me.
A small cheeky smile formed on my face as we continued walking towards a main road, previously having decided to walk back.
"Ask me that this time in one hour and we'll see my answer!" I replied huskily as I leant and kissed her temptingly on her lips.
"I really shouldn't have drank so much," Georgina began to laugh as she clumsily slipped over her own foot.
I began to laugh aswell.
"Me neither!" I answered as I felt the effects of the shots of vodka I had downed begin to return.
"Wow look at the stars Nicky, reckon we are rich enough to buy one!?" She asked with a stupid grin on her flushed face.
"We're rich enough to buy the whole sky!" I had joked as we got only a few yards away from the main road. "Hold my hand Gina cos it's well busy and I don't want any accidents." I told her as I tried to secure my grip on her sweaty hand.
"Nicky, I am a big girl now!"
She laughed her brown eyes slightly bloodshot from all the alcohol she had absorbed.
"I know babes, I'm a big boy to!" I added whilest winking and looking down towards the crotch of my trousers.
Georgina tutted and turned round to face me, her hands instantly beginning to tickle me in all my sensitive spots.
"G, stop," I gasped as I began to laugh and move suddenly as I tried to get away from her, totally forgetting we were by a very busy main road. I glanced up from the corner of my eye and saw no approaching cars.
"Ginaaaaaaaa!"
I yelled as I began to fall backwards into the road, her tickling antics having pushed me to far.
"Nicky," she screamed reaching out for me.
Instantly I burst out into a fit of giggles as I saw the look of terror shoot across her face. I regained my balance and tried to stop smiling as Georgina began to lecture me on my 'childish' behaviour.
"I mean how would you like it if I suddenly threw myself backwards into the road like this, for a joke?" She asked me as she suddenly jumped backwards.
My heart flew into my mouth and everything turned into slow motion. I tried to open my mouth and warn her that a car was coming straight for her, but no words would come out. My heart literally tore as I watched her head suddenly turn and see the approaching car. All in slow motion as if to torture me more, her body bounced off the black car like a loose rag doll and landed on the floor with a sickening thud. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; her white dress was covered in huge streaks of red, looking like stained lipstick.
"Gina," I cried as I tried to move my legs in her direction.
The car had tried to screech to a stop and wasn't moving.
"Baby, stop it this isn't funny now," I said as I dived onto the floor and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"N, Nicky," she whispered, her face screwed up in scrutinising pain.
I tried to blink back the tears and swallow the huge lump that had lodged itself in my throat.
"I'm so sorry," she said, her brown eyes releasing the last tears it ever would.
"No Gina, it's my birthday you can't do this to me, you can't, birthday's are supposed to be good"
I sobbed as I held her body to mine.
I gazed straight into her eyes and saw the sparkle and life draining from them, much like water down a sink.
"Thank you Nicky, for so much."
Her voice cracked and she shuddered all over as I bent forward and kissed her warm lips.
"Georgina, NO, we've got to many firsts planned, our first baby, our first pet, our first holiday as a married couple."
My voice was all squeaky and hardly understandable.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't see it coming, the, the car I mean," she cried.
"Nicky," her chest rose and fell heavily. "I'll wait for you, always."
My face was soaking wet with tears and also with the rain that had suddenly began to pour. I looked down at my shirt that was bright red with my girlfriend's blood. My heart just died with her and I held her lifeless body close to mine sobbing for my life until help had arrived.
~*End Flashback*~
I suddenly shook my head back to reality. I began to take in all my old familiar surroundings, except they were old, because Georgina wasn't here. If only I hadn't started fooling around it would never of happened, I had continuously told myself over the past week. Everyone else had told me it wasn't my fault, but I shut them all out because Georgina was the only one who ever truly understood me and knew me. I sat up and stared at the lifeless room in front of me.
So now do you understand how I said it IS possible to celebrate your birthday in the worst way possible? I mean it's not like I wouldn't know, is it?
Back to Fictions