Yaara: Aaargh! Today our Marky turns from a 21 years old boy to...um...22 years old boy! *lol* So I caught up with him (and poor Shiri I forced to be in this interview) to a special birthday interview! Hi Marky!
Mark: Hey Yaara! Oh my God I really can't believe it!
Shiri: What? That you are turning 22?
Mark: No, that Yaara actually lets me talk!
Yaara: Yes it's a privilege that's only given to sex Gods
Shiri: Like Ki *dreams away*
Yaara: Yeah, literally a sex God, ain't he? A five/six-times-a-night lad!
Shiri: You think it's true? I mean, with one girl?
Yaara: I dunno...
Shiri: Let's ask him then...Kian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kian: What?
Yaara: About that article in the Daily Record...
Kian: Yep, I'm a five/six-times-a-night lad!
Yaara: Ooooooh!
Shiri: Aaaah!
Yaara: Now, can you actually prove it?
Mark: *Ahem*
Kian: Well, not with you two nincompoops but I can!
Mark: *Double ahem*
Shiri: Mark, is there something you want to say?
Mark: Yeah, um, I...I thought it was supposed to be an interview with me and not with Kian!!
Shiri: Was it?
Mark: Wasn't it??
Yaara: It was!
Kian: What about me?
Shiri: You can leave for now.
Kian: Nooooo I don't wanna!!!
Shiri: Hmmm I think I saw Pamela outside...
Kian: *running outside*
Yaara: Shiri, that's not Pamela! It's the real size poster!
Shiri: I know *grinning*
Mark: Can we go on with that interview now?
Yaara: Yea, here we go... Mark, how does it feel to be one year older?
Mark: It feels like.... like... like I'm one year older!
Shiri: That's a smart answer
Mark: Thanks *smiling proudly*
Shiri: *rolling eyes*... next question. Got any plans for this year's birthday party?
Mark: The lads are gonna surprise me and take me to meet Mariah Carey!
Yaara: How do you know that if it'll be a surprise?
Mark: Cause I wrote Santa a letter asking for that!
Yaara: But Christmas was 5 months ago...
Mark: That's right, Santa owes me!
Shiri: Right...
Yaara: Sad...anyway...the Mark fans 'round the world, that means about 2 and a half people, saved up to buy you a present. But since Kian's birthday was before yours, us Kian fans made them give us all of their 22.7 pounds so we'll buy Ki a present, so we don't have a birthday present for you...
Mark: What?! No...*sob*
Shiri: Ah don't worry, least you have a surprise and you'll see Mariah!
Mark: *cries hysterically* Santa is a liar! He never gives me what I want! Like, on Christmas 2001 -
Yaara: *cuts him off* You asked to be number one yet my six year old sister's idol Bob the Builder, a cartoon, took the number one away from you?
Mark: Um...no
Shiri: What then?
Mark: Well I...I...I mean the Bob the Builder thing too but I...I kinda asked to have sex with Nicky...you know 'cause he's hot and stuff...but Nicky had sex with Georgina that Christmas...of course it totally pissed Shane off but -
Yaara: *cuts him off again* It's enough! Marky...more than we needed to know
Shiri: You should have stop him earlier...
Yaara: I know...
Shiri: Anyway Marky, about your new...interesting...hair...if you can call it like that...
Mark: Isn't it just soooo cool? I got the idea from Nicky, you know, with that thing popping on the front
Shiri: WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT??? *grabbing Mark from his collar and shaking him*
Mark: *choking*
Yaara: Shiri... as much as I'd love to see Mark being choked to death we still have an interview to do here
Shiri: Sorry... *letting Mark down slowly* But Maaaark!!! You look like a chicken!
Mark: I do? *looking in the mirror* OMG I do!!! I can't let Mariah see me like this!
Yaara: Mark, wake up, you're not gonna meet Mariah!
Mark: But...but....ssssoooobbbbbbb
Shiri: Please let's go on with the interview...
Mark: Well, I'm giving you one last question to ask and then I'm leaving!
*Yaara and Shiri cross arms and looks at Mark*
Yaara: Lookie here, ickely Marky thinks he's the boss
Shiri: The poor thing doesn't know what's going to happen to him now...
Mark: Wha...? *Looks scared at us*
Yaara: Grab him!
5 minutes later, Mark finds himself in a dark room tied to a chair.
*Westlife's stylist Kenny is walking into the room with a pair of scissors*
Mark: Aaaah!
Kenny: I'm sorry Marky but it's time for you to look like a human
Yaara: That'd be hard
Shiri: Mission impossible 3
*Mission impossible music starts*
Yaara: Aaaaah *sob* Where's Tom?!
Mark: He was busy so I'm here fighting for the life of my hair now if you don't mind...HELP ME!!!!!
Shiri: Um...no
Mark: Now it's time to be afraid?
Yaara: Oh yeah!
Mark: Mummy!!!!!! *cries*
The next scene is *censored* as we don't think young infants should see Marky screams, twists, curses and cries to his mummy to come and save him.
Mark: *looks shocked at the mirror* I can't believe it...
Shiri: What? You actually like it?
Mark: I can't believe it!
Yaara: He went mad...
Mark: Oh my God! My hair looks just like Mariah's cat!!!!!!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! *Jumps at Shiri and Yaara and starts kissing them*
Yaara: Um...Mark...
Shiri: Mark...
Yaara: Mark!
Shiri: We're a one man girls and that man is either Brad Pitt or Kian! So...stop kissing us...
Yaara: Yeah and go meet Mariah and show her your cat-ish hair...
Shiri: Ok, that's a sad ending, ain't it?
Yaara: Ah well, he's happy, we're happy everyone is happy!
Mariah's cat: I just want to say I protest the way you insulted me and I think Mark's hair does not look like me in any way matter or form!