Goodbye

 

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don’t own this wonderful show if I did there never would have been a Zoë.

 

Summary: Sometimes losing someone you care about can open new doors to old relationships.

 

Author’s Note: This is a Jarod/Zoë fic that I hope actually shows how I believe their relationship would end ultimately. I’m letting everyone know upfront that Zoë will die in this fic if you’d rather not read that then I suggest you move on.  Otherwise sit back, relax and enjoy the fic…

 

 

 

He had been on a pretend when he’d heard.  After getting over the initial shock of hearing she relapsed he’d dropped everything to go to her, to see her one last time.  And so here he was standing outside her hospital room watching her through the glass window.  He’d been there for several hours trying to work up the nerve to see her.  The last time they’d spent anytime together had been nearly two months ago.  He should have come back sooner.  Unfortunately, he’d been betting on borrowed time only this time it wasn’t his— it was Zoë’s.

 

Zoë’s cancer had taken a turn for the worse and she didn’t have much time left.  The doctors were surprised that she had lasted as long as she did.  Everyday she grew weaker and the pain became more intense, the doctors were certain that she wouldn’t last through the night.  Zoë was going to die and there was nothing Jarod could do, the cancer had spread too far, too soon.

 

As Jarod watched her from outside her room he wished he’d arrived sooner.  If only he hadn’t been so caught up in the search for his mother.  If only he hadn’t got caught up in this game with the Centre.  If only he’d paid more attention to her when he’d last seen her.  If only he’d gotten the message sooner.  If only … if only ... he could save her.  There were so many things he wanted to share with Zoë so many things that she could share with him and now they have nothing but few precious moments to spend with each other. 

 

“Jarod,” the petite elderly white-haired woman called out as she exited the room.  “She wants to see you now.” She smiled sadly at him, though it didn’t reach her tear-filled eyes.  He nodded taking her frail hand in his and squeezing it gently as he passed her by.  Pausing briefly by the door, he released the elder woman’s hand with a sad smile before he pushed the door open.

 

She turned her head at the sound of his first footfall in the doorway.  “Jarod,” she said her breath shallow and husky as through she had just awoken from a dreamless sleep.

 

He walked to her bed and sat down beside it.  “Hey Zoë,” he said softly to her as he tried keep his tone light not wanting his sadness to overcome him.  “How are you doing?”

 

“I’ve been better.” He took her hand into his own.  “I’m glad you came.  I wasn’t sure if … if you would make it.”

 

“I left as soon as I heard.”  Jarod paused wondering what he should do or say next.  He knew that death was inevitable.  He knew that her cancer was terminal, he’s seen her file, and worked with cancer patients and their families during one of his time as a grief counselor yet he didn’t know what to do or say when it was someone he cared about.  “Why didn’t you tell me Zoë I could have—?”

       

Zoë took her hand out of his and placed it over his mouth.  “Stop it.  There was nothing you could have done.  I’m dying, there’s nothing anyone could to do to change that not even you.”

 

“But, I could have been here for you.” He protested taking her hand in his again.

       

“Jarod you were where you were supposed to be, where you were needed most.  I would never stop you from doing what you do.  And besides, none of that matters, you’re here now, when I need you.” A cough racked her body taking her breath for a few moments.  Jarod rose to pour her glass of water from the tray beside her bed she attempted to stop him holding up a hand.  “No, I’m fine.” She settled back against the bed.

       

Jarod handed her a glass of water. “Drink this anyway.”

 

Taking the glass from his hands she drank from the glass of water almost emptying it before handing it back to him and settled down on the bed.  Taking a shallow breath again her eyes meant his.  “Tell me about your last job.”

 

“Don’t you want talk about—?”

 

“No, I want to know what you’ve been up to so I can live vicariously through you.  Now, tell me what you’ve done in the last month.” She asked again.

       

Staring at her intently, scanning her face for some sign that she was okay.  He realized that she didn’t want to talk about her illness or that she was dying.  She didn’t want to dwell on her fate she wanted to be taken from it. So he did as she asked and began telling her all about his last few pretends.  Answering her questions about the different jobs he held and who he helped they talked for hours but for Jarod, it seemed much, much shorter … she died with him at her side, holding her hand.

 

Jarod stayed for her funeral, which was held five days later and left for pastures unknown. The only thing in his possession was a letter left for him by Zoë.

 

*      *      *      *      *

 

The tall brunette stormed down the hospital corridor in her signature four-inch pumps heading for the nurses station with a distinguished gentleman following her closely to her right and balding man on her left.  She walked as if she owned the world and no one dared to get in her way.  

 

Miss Parker stood at the desk with an arched brow as she waited for the young blonde woman at the desk to get off the phone.

 

“I-I’ll have to call you back Suzy,” The blonde woman swiftly hung up the phone as the tall brunette woman flashed her a cold smile before pulling out a photo.  “C-can I help you?”

 

“I hope so.  I’m looking for this man; I was told that he would be here.” The young woman took the offered photo of Jarod in her hands as she looked down at it.

 

“Oh well he’s gone now but he was here about two weeks ago.”

 

“Was he injured?” The sliver-haired acquaintance of the woman asked.

 

“No, he wasn’t injured.” She handed back the photo. 

 

“If he wasn’t injured then what was he doing here?” Miss Parker questioned.

 

“You, don’t know?  It was so sad. He was here when his girlfriend, Miss Campbell died.  It’s always so hard to see a cancer patient lose their battle.” 

 

Miss Parker opened her mouth to ask another question but nothing she could think to say came out.  Of all the reasons for Jarod to drop everything and take off in the middle of a pretend, this had been last possible reason she would ever think of. 

 

 “Excuse me,” the nurse said before reaching for the phone. “Memorial Hospital this is Nora speaking.”

 

“Jarod’s obviously long gone from here, Syd, let’s go.” Miss Parker said turning to her two companions as she began to head down the hallway.  When she realized that no one was with her turned to back, “Syd?”

 

“You go ahead Parker; I have a few questions I’d like to ask the nurse.”

 

Miss Parker nodded and then continued her trek down the hallway.

 

“Do you think Jarod left any clues, Syd?” Broots asked speaking for the first time that day.

 

“I don’t think so Broots.” The nurse hung up the phone.

 

“Sorry about that.  Anyway, I have something for you a letter.” The nurse took out an envelope from a draw at the desk.  “She said that when a tall brunette woman came here that I should give this to her.”

 

Sydney took the envelope. “She?”

 

“Zoë, Miss Campbell.”

 

“She left the letter?” Sydney asked again surprised that Jarod’s girlfriend would leave Miss Parker a letter.

 

“Yes.” The nurse answered again.

 

Clearing his throat, Sydney slipped the letter into his pocket.  “Thank you for your time.” He turned with Broots and left the main desk heading outside to the black town car where Miss Parker stood waiting for him sunglasses on.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Parker, this was left for you.” Sydney took out the envelope and handed it to the woman.

 

“Jarod?” she asked taking the envelope from his hands.

 

He shook his head. “Zoë, left it for you with the nurse,” he watched as surprise flickered over Miss Parker’s face before she slipped the letter into a pocket of her jacket and proceeded to get in the car.  Knowing that it was probably for the best that she see the contents of the letter by herself, the old psychologist wisely said nothing as he slid into the town car beside her before they took off.

*      *      *      *      *

 

Several hours later Miss Parker arrived home from her trip to Kansas with heaviness in her heart and a letter from Jarod’s girlfriend in her pocket.  In truth, she hadn’t planned on reading it all feeling that there was absolutely nothing that Zoë could have to say to her since she’d never met the woman herself.  She was going to throw it away the first chance she got.  That had been the plan but now as she sat on the couch before a warm fire sipping a welcome cantor of aged brandy her curiosity got the better of her.  Placing the glass on the table before her she opened the envelope pulling out the few pages of the letter and began to read …

 

Dear Miss Parker,

 

We’ve never met but I have had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting your brother Lyle. And although Jason (Jarod’s clone J) assures me that you are nothing like him, you’ll forgive me if I find that somewhat hard to believe.  If you have received this letter via the nurses’ desk then I have died and you’ve missed Jarod, yet again.  It is unfortunate that we never got to meet in person because I’m sure our conversation would have been anything but boring.  But, I digress; as I am sure you are wondering why I would leave you a letter when we have absolutely nothing in common.  We are as different as night and day, I’m a t-shirts and jeans kinda girl where as you’re fashion plate with designer everything down to the shoes you wear.  From the outside there truly is nothing that we neither share nor have in common except for one thing, Jarod.  I’ll just get right to the point.  You need to do something for me because I did something for you not too long ago and I believe now is the time to repay the favor.

 

A year ago, Jarod invited me to spend Christmas with his family at the winter cottage they were staying at.  He told that he was going to check on his mother and that he would be back in time for Christmas but in the meanwhile I should stay with his family.  So I did I went to cottage and got to know his brothers and sister.  It wasn’t until Christmas Eve that Jarod finally arrived home for the holiday.  Immediately, when he returned everyone could sense there was something off with him but he maintained his composure and acted as though nothing was wrong.  It wasn’t until I overheard a conversation between Jarod and Major Charles that I found out what happened. 

 

Jarod had spent had trapped on an island with you while he looked for his mother.  Although, he never said it but I suspect that something had happened between the two of you on that island that’s why he was acting so strange.  I could hear it in his voice as he relayed certain details of what had happened.  But, it was when he talked about you that I knew, his voice soften with a tone of infection that I’d never heard before I knew … he was in love with you.  When someone you love doesn’t love you back it hurts.  Looking back I suppose it wasn’t really a surprise I had always known that there was someone else that held his heart.  Everything inside me told me to run, to leave Jarod and his family and never look back.  I was going to, I was going to leave when I stumbled onto Jarod sitting by himself on the porch, just staring into the sky.

 

I could see, even through my own fears that he was hurting in a way he never had before.  So I did the only thing I could think of I sat down beside him and waited for him to speak.  I don’t know how long we sat there before he spoke, it could have been minutes or hours, I don’t remember.  But, when he started talking instead of breaking things off with me like I thought he was going to, he talked about you.   Who you were, when you first met, the things you did together as children to your chasing him now.   He never said what happened on Carthis merely gazed over it, I suspect more for my benefit than his.  But, I’m not stupid and I can read between the lines, you left him; you broke his heart in the process.  For that alone, I should hate you because anyone who could reject Jarod’s love is either stupid or a real unfeeling bitch.  I don’t know which side you fall on but I have my own ideas about which side you belong on.

 

I listened to Jarod talk about you, not for myself and certainly not because of you but because I love him more than he will ever know.  So now I’m asking you to return the favor, do what I did for Jarod – be his friend.  While he may not love me as much as I do him, I know he cares about me.  And I know that my death will be hard on him, even if you can’t admit how you really how much you really care for him, don’t make him grieve for me alone.  Be the friend, I know that he would be for you.

 

                                                                             Zoë

 

 

Letting the letter fall to her lap, Miss Parker picked up her phone and dialed a number.  The phone rang once before a gruffly accented voice answered.  “Syd, I’m going to be out of town for a couple of days …”

*      *      *      *      *

 

Jarod sat on the edge of the rocky cliff looking out into the bright sunny day.  Zoë had been gone almost three weeks now and since then he’d been lost … hurt, unable to do anything more than mourn for his lost friend.  He had loved her maybe not as deeply as he should, but he’d loved her all the same and, now she was gone.  One would think that in his experience with death and loss that he’d be used to it.  But, it was never easy for him, the last time he’d grieved for someone he’d loved had been for his brother Kyle.  It was hard to understand how someone who’d once been a grief counselor didn’t honestly know or understand how to grieve for a loved one.  All he knew was that he had this void in his life where Zoë had once been and he didn’t know how to go about feeling it.  As Jarod continued his ponderings on the cliffs he heard the telltale sound of rocks being crushed under someone’s shoe as that person was coming up behind him.  Based, on his own intuition – the tingle in his spine and the telltale scent of jasmine he knew who it was, without even looking.

       

“Coming to take me back to Centre?”

       

“The Centre doesn’t know that I’m here.”  Miss Parker answered as she lowered herself down beside him.

       

“How did you find me?”

       

“I just knew you’d be here.” She shrugged and lapsed into silence.  Honestly, she didn’t know how exactly she had known he would be here.  After she’d made arrangements with Sydney to cover for her she’d bought several plane tickets to different places and had taken the steps to ensure that someone who’d fit her description was on each flight before leaving on her flight and allowing her inner sense to lead her to him.

       

Jarod hasten a quick look at the woman beside him.  What he saw surprised him a great deal, gone was the Centre’s Miss Parker – with perfect make-up, black leather designer outfit and the prerequisite acerbic tongue that could cut you into pieces with just one word.  In her place, was a beautiful woman with no make-up, dressed simply in jeans (probably designer), a black sleeveless t-shirt and tennis shoes?  Inwardly, he smirked Parker wearing regular tennis shoes.  Who would have thought it possible?

       

“What?”

       

“Nothing?”

       

“I can dress down occasionally.” Miss Parker replied knowing exactly what he had been thinking.

       

“I didn’t say you couldn’t Parker,” he sighed returning to gaze into the cloudless sky.  “So what are you doing here Parker, if not to take me to the Centre? Because somehow I doubt that you just came here to visit.”

       

“I heard about Zoë … I’m sorry Jarod.  I know you cared a great deal —,”

       

“What do you know about how I feel?”  He demanded rising easily from the cliff to walk back to his car.

       

Parker rose to her feet as well and followed behind Jarod, catching up with him in a couple of strides, she grabbed his arm.  “Don’t walk away from me Jarod.  Do you know what I risked coming to find you?  If anyone in the Centre found out I’d be—,”

       

“Well I didn’t ask you to come Parker.  And I sure as hell don’t need you of all people offering me your sympathy; you don’t know what is to lose someone you care about.”

       

She let go of his arm as if it was on fire.  Her vivid blue eyes smoldering into a stormy grey.  “The hell I don’t.”  She growled menacingly.  “Everyone I’ve ever cared about has died … my mother, Tommy, and even my supposed father.  So don’t you tell me that I don’t know what its like to lose someone you love, I know more than anyone what that feels like.”  The wind picked up blowing dark strands of her hair into her face.  She pushed them out of her face.

       

“I’m sorry.”

       

“You had damn well better be.  I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here today because I thought you might need a friend Jarod.  Someone who can understand what you’re going through when you feel like your world has slipped from under you.  But, maybe you don’t want a friend.”  She turned to leave.

       

“Why?” Parker paused in her trek and turned back to him.

       

“Why what?”

       

Jarod stared at her intently before answering.  “We aren’t friends or even enemies for that matter.  Why do you care?  As I recall you’re the one who said all there is between us is ‘I run and you chase’.”  His eyes flashed with unveiled emotion so much so that Parker averted her gaze so as not to see it.  “So why change the dynamic now?”

       

Crossing her arms over her chest she considered her response before answering him.  “Because you cared about …”

 

‘Tell him the truth,’ a familiar voice whispered inside her.  “Because every time I’ve ever lost someone you were there; even if we weren’t on the same side.  You never let me go through those things alone.  When Kyle died you were alone — you shouldn’t have to mourn, to grieve alone.  I want to be here for you.”

 

He seemed to consider her answer for a moment.  “You can stay—that is I’d like for you to stay.”

 

“I’d like to then.”  She looked around the rocky cliff – it was a beautiful if not scenic spot in the middle of nowhere.  “So what are we doing here?”

 

“It was Zoë’s favorite spot; she said it reminded her of her sister.”

 

“Oh,” she paused.  “Could you tell me about her?”

 

“Yeah, sure …” Jarod said taking Parker’s hand and guiding her to the spot where she had found him.  As he delighted her with tales of Zoë, a friendship made by a boy and girl in the Centre was renewed.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

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