always


In the End There Was Always You

.

The battle had been fierce. Without Willow's magical healing Angel would have lost Gunn. The boost of manpower from the slayers had most definitely saved him from becoming a pile of ashes. When he and Spike had been pulled out of the rubble by Illyria they were taken to Hyperion where surprisingly Connor was helping Xander and Giles. At first he'd been angry with Connor for disobeying him and getting involved in his fight but he'd learned that Connor didn't intentionally enter the fray. He'd been attacked on his way home and was saved by a couple of slayers who'd brought him to Hyperion to heal. Once he had regained his strength, or at least enough of his strength so he didn't need help to move he'd began to help Xander and Giles with the others, needing to do something if he couldn't be in the battle.

It was from Giles that he learned while having his shoulder set how Buffy had dreamed of the battle and insisted that they'd sent slayers to help. She'd ask for Willow and Giles to go and help Faith in the best way they could. And where Willow went Xander followed as they were now a couple, which was strange. The last he'd seen of Willow she'd been gay.

Although, the old watcher never actually said so, it was implied that.Buffy was upset with him. She and Dawn were in London where Dawn was undergoing training to be a watcher. He knew that he should have at least called her to let her know that he'd survived but he didn't. He couldn't. He didn't know what to say to her. How he could tell her all of the things he wanted her to know. He stayed at Hyperion helping Giles and Xander where he could, looking after those who had risked their lives in final battle ... and Spike. So in essence, he'd hid losing himself in others lives so he wouldn't have to look too closely at his own to see what he was missing. Then Gwen arrived.

Gwen had showed up, non-electro girl, with a five-month old baby girl that had eyes like Gunn's. It shocked him but Gunn didn't seem as surprised and he'd left with her. Then Spike and Illyria left, Spike said it was because he had a few buddies he wanted to look up. But, Angel figured it was because Illyria decided she wanted to learn more of this world and had demanded that her pet show it to her. He didn't dwell too much on the intricacies of their relationship as it tended to freak him out a little. And when Connor had gotten well enough to travel he returned to his "family" but promised to keep in touch with his father.

Four months had passed since the battle and everything was starting to return to normal, well as normal as things had been before. With everyone gone from AI, he had no excuses and nothing to hide behind. Xander of all people had been the one who finally convinced him to go ... to see Buffy.

He'd been cleaning his weapons when Xander walked in unannounced.

"Dead boy, you haven't seen Willow have you?"

"I could have sworn I had a door." Angel replied eyes not straining from the weapon in his lap.

"Yeah, it's still there. So Willow... seen her?"

He paused his cleaning the sword to glare at the one-eyed man. "She went to get some supplies from the magic shop I think." Thinking that Xander would leave he went back to cleaning the sword. Minutes later he looked back up to see the man rocking on his heels, hands in his pockets. Sighing, he put the sword on the desk, "Yes?"

"So ... are going to see her?"

"Willow? I'll see her when she gets back."

"Yeah, so I'm talking Buffy. You know blonde hair green eyes, really strong ... do I need to paint the picture for you?"

"Green-her eyes are green?" Angel paused thinking about his fight with Spike in Italy. "Are you sure they aren't blue?"

"Blue? They're not-just go see her!"

"She's moved on with her life. I don't want to interfere."

"You're kidding right? This is Buffy we're talking about. You think she just sent a couple hundred slayers, Giles, Willow... me because she's moved on? Let me let you in on a little secret, the only reason she didn't come here herself is because she was afraid we'd be too late, afraid that she'd lose you and end up with nothing but a pile of ash."

"I don't ... nothing's changed. I still don't have anything to offer her."

"How about yourself? You could offer her that. Look, Dead Boy ... if you love her as much I think you do ... don't let another day go by without letting her know it. You have a whole eternity of brooding you can do but Buffy, she doesn't." Xander left then mumbling something about Giles and eye color.

Angel sat in the same spot after Xander had left doing what he'd did best ... brooding. After several hours of brooding and soul-searching he'd come to the realization that as much he hated to believe it, Xander was right. In all his years both human and as vampire, he'd only ever loved one woman. It didn't matter how much time passed, he'd never loved another woman the way he loved her, not Darla and not Cordelia. Maybe he would never be human but he could love and if Buffy still loved him maybe that was enough.

So he'd taken Xander's advice and come to London to see Buffy. When he'd finally arrived in town she'd refused to see him. He wanted to believe it was because he hadn't returned her call when he'd been in LA. But, he knew that wasn't the real reason was it was because he didn't call her for the big apocalypse. Although, given that he'd barely survived and that she had sent Faith, Willow, and a couple of hundred slayers in her stead he wasn't sure that it really mattered.

She still refused to see him as he'd learned via Dawn. For the better part of two weeks he'd tried everything he could think of to get her to see him. Then, as he was strolling through the streets one night it hit him and he knew exactly what to do. So he'd stopped at the store bought a small parcel and wrote a letter to Buffy.

Fidgeting slightly Angel ran his hand through his hair as he waited for her. Here he sat at a small table waiting to see if she would answer his letter. Suddenly, feeling a small tingling at the back of his neck and he looked up to see Buffy standing not five feet away from him looking as beautiful as ever.

~~~

When she'd dreamed demons, a dragon and the fires of hell raining down on an alley she'd known that he was in danger. Without any explanation she'd left The Immortal in Italy to return to London to see Giles.

Giles told her about Angel and his people taking over Wolfram and Hart, an evil law firm in LA. He'd told her everything from Spike still being alive to Cordelia dying to Angel, Mr. I-Can't-Have-Children having a son. And now, it seemed that he was slipping that he was turning into Angelus without losing his soul. To put it bluntly, Angel was not to be trusted.

It was a lot to take at first. So okay Spike was alive and he hadn't bothered to tell her. And Angel had a son, a child who by all rights should just be a toddler but was older than Dawn. While it was true that she and Cordy hadn't always got along when it mattered, she would be there at your side. She'd been as much of a Scoobie that Anya had been and learning of her death was a shock especially when she had never even knew the other girl was ill

But, all those things aside Angel was in danger now and he needed help. Regardless of all the things that had happened in the last year and the years before, she'd had a prophetic dream. Giles didn't ask her any questions about the dream, only how many girls she wanted to take and when did she want to leave. He'd been surprised to learned that she'd already contacted Faith and that the dark-haired slayer would be heading to LA from her post in Ohio with her army of slayers and Willow and Xander would meet her there. He had been equally surprised to learn that she wanted him to go while she stayed took over the training of the younger slayers. Buffy wondered if Giles knew that she couldn't face going to LA and arriving a second too late. If he did he didn't say so. All he'd done was packed some supplies and headed down with the slayers promising to call with news first chance he'd got.

But, it had been Willow who'd called to tell her the news. Angel, Spike, Illyria (who apparently was ancient god embodied in Fred), and Gunn had entered the battle with hundreds of demons. When Willow and Faith had arrived Angel and Spike were nowhere to be found but the redheaded witch had managed to save Gunn and teleport him to Angel's hotel where Xander and Giles took care of him. Several days had passed before she'd had any news of Angel. He and Spike had been found and were alive, well as alive as the dead could be anyway. She'd waited for his call but it never came. He wouldn't even talk to her, even when she'd asked to speak to him he was always busy or not in the room. Call her slow on the up take, but it had taken her few weeks to finally get the hint that he didn't want to speak to her before she stopped calling to check on him altogether.

Fast forward four months later when she was training a couple of new slayers she'd learn from Dawn that he'd showed up at their doorstep to see her. The day after that he'd attempted to see her at the training quarters and she'd told the slayer at the door that she didn't want to see him and had him sent away. When he called, Dawn answered and informed him that Buffy didn't want to speak to him. For the next week, the routine was the same, he'd stopped by or called to talk to her and she would be unavailable. Until one day there was no call, no visit, there was only a small box and letter waiting for her when she'd arrived home. She'd known without opening the letter that it was from him. After staring at it for several hours she finally settled down in her bedroom and read.

.

	You're the first woman that I've ever loved. I will never be human and you will never get those walks in the sunlight or children with me. I can't promise you the future but I can promise you that I will always love you until my dying day. I don't know what the future could hold but, I'd like to see what the present will have for us. We can never be the same people who fell in love in Sunnydale; we've changed and grown apart. And I don't know if I want us to be who we were, so maybe we can start a new beginning and get to know each other as we are now. If you think we have a chance and I hope you do I'll waiting for you at the caf� down the street until sunrise.

	Always,

	A.

	.

	.

	.

She couldn't do this she didn't know what to say to him. So many things had happened in the last year, six years really. It was all too much, too soon. She should go home, call the caf� and leave a message for Angel that something suddenly came up. That way it wouldn't seem like she was too scared to see him. She wasn't scared. She could do this, she reasoned, after all it was just Angel.

"I can do this," she whispered just as Angel looked up and made eye contact with her.

~~~

"You came?" Angel said surprised when Buffy came to sit down across from him

"I-you didn't expect me to?"

"It's not that-I just thought you,"

"Wouldn't show up." She finished brow arched. "I thought about it, not coming but I," she paused at lost for words looking down at the table. "I didn't expect this to be so-,"

"Hard." Angel finished as Buffy returned her green-eyed gaze to his. He waited for her to say something anything. "So you got my letter?"

	"Yeah."

	"Did you open the box?"

	Causally shrugging her shoulders she answered, "No." Tucking her hair behind her ears as she looked everywhere but at him.

	He reached across the table and grabbed her hand, she looked down at their hands for second her before her gaze to his. He smiled. "How about we start there."

The End!

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