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Date: 3/16/00 4:52:00 PM Central Standard Time
From: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
"So You Want To Be A Vampire?"
By: Susan Ellen Field
Nick and company are the sole property of James d Parriott and such. I am
only using them for this.
Permission to post anyplace :)
Nick sat down on the leather couch.lifting the remote off the coffee table,
he layed back against the soft cushion and switched the big screen tv on.
Switching around through a few channels, he finally found something that
looked interesting,watching as he slowly sipped from the goblet containing
his bovine beverage, he found himself getting a bit
sleepy...........................
Lora, Julia, Susan, April, Gail,Janet and a few UFfers possibly making guest
appearences sat in the studio audience.Jules was in seat #11,seat,her printer
sat next to her in seat # 12!
they all watched as the show got underway.................
Nick awoke to find himself on a huge soundstage!!! lights buzzing, cameramen
everywhere, and then he saw him!!!
"Welcome everyone to "So you want to be a vampire?"Nick blinked!! the host
looked suspiciously like Lacroix!he was wearing his usual black suit, but
instead of the dapper sword pin at his neck, he was had on a shiny tie!!!.
"Okay folks! get ready for the fast finger question"!!!
The Uffers in the audience thought for sure they could do anything that
required fast fingers! or then again, slow ones also!
It was then that Nick realised he was surrounded by mortals and he, along
with them were all seated in front of computer screens........
Here it is!! "Put in the right order,all the foods Nick consumed in "The
Fix"!!!
fingers typed quickly, suddenly Nick knew he should know that and punched in
the answers!!
"Alright everyone! The answers in the correct order are:
A.pasta off of jimmy venetties plate,B.a roll,C. a glass of already half
sipped at chianti and D. two hot dogs!"
And the winner is: Nicholas Knight!!!"
Nick, smiling but confused as to where the heck he was, stepped over to the
host.
sitting in the extreamly uncomfortable chair ,Nick looked at the host.
"Well, Mr.Knight?Nicholas, tell us a little something about yourself........
"Well, I was brought across in 1228, preyed on humans for thier blood".
"Married?
"Er, well, used to be, I took too much and well, she".............
"I see, and what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a homicide detective"
"How interesting,well, lets get started shall we? you know all the rules, and
you have your three lifelines in place, 50/50/ phone a friend/ and poll the
audience.
Okay and And the question is:
"What IS a father?"and the choices are:
A.A father is someone who will do anything to make sure you have a better
life than he does. b.A father is someone that keeps following you all over
the place, cause you looked damn fine in that see through knightie
c.A father will give you an engraved pocketwatch and than keep handing it
back to you everytime you use it for escape purposes or
c:Altruistic
Nick grabbed the glass of blood provided by the show and sipped.This one
needed a bit of thought......
"Er, i would like to use one of my lifelines?"
"of course" said the host, rolling his eyes around.
"I would like to phone a friend"
"sure, what friend would you like us to call?"
"Don Schanke"
"And what does Don do?"
"He is my partner"
"well, okay then, lets get Don on the line'...
RRRRRRRING......
" Hello?"
"Hello Don? This is The host of "So you want to be a vampire"
"Er, could you call back in a half hour? my favorite show is on and
I".........
"I am afraid NOT!! now, I am here with your partner, Nick Knight, and he
needs your help, you have a few seconds to ask the question and for your
partner to tell you anything!!"
Nick repeated the question and its possible answers.
"Well, geez Nick, I dont know, i mean,the paper got lost off my desk,
remember? and you walked away before'....suddenly the buzzer sounded.....
"No, wait! shouted Nick, "I am sure that he was just about to tell me!"
"Sorry, you will just have to think for your self, unless you want to use
another lifeline'......
"No, i'll save those.... my first impulse is to go with B,but I will say C:
Altrusitic'
"Final answer?"
"yes, final answer,C"
"And its a good one!!
Nick feeling elated over the win,got the next question.....
okay, we are halfway to winning the big prize"
"Er, you never quite said what that was", said Nick.
The host, with a sardonic smile replied"no, i didn't, did i?
"Next to the last question'
"What is the official food of the UF?"
A.Beer......
B.Honey Sticks
C.Green eggs and Ham
D.More Beer
This was a tough one and Nick started to sweat blood.
"I would like to poll the audience please"
"okay audience, please lock in your votes...NOW!"
"I say Beer!" said Jules,printing out everything as she pondered her vote.
"Nah, gotta be the green eggs and Ham'......... said Julia.
"Come-on guys! We all know its honey sticks!!" said Lora.
Susan was pondering, cause milk wasen't on the list anyplace!!!!!
"Okay, time is up, lets see what the audience had to say.
"Well!1 seems the vote is a close one.99% say Beer, 98% say Honey Sticks, and
there seems to be a voter that is coming in and out with both answers"....
the Uffers turned to each other and said in unison"GAIL!!!"........
Nick took another sip of the glass of blood, and slowly thought it over.....
"B.honey Sticks"
"Final answer?"
"yes"
"Your right, thier right!!
And now, time for the last question.....
"Do you want to be a Vampire?"
A.well, kinda, sorta, well maybe
B.I do look good in see through knighties, leather and i get a kewl car so
why not?
C.if you refuse, you will be drained
D.okay, as long as i get the kewl clothes and car and lots of sex.......
"Well, you have used up all your lifelines,(at least for the moment, thanks
to USA Networks!) so this is one question you have to answer on your own
keeping in mind that this program has a time limit, sponsers to answer to and
people that will read this ridiculous story".................
Nick was full of angst and conflicted as to the answer he should give......
(in other words, he was being himself)
a special audience memember shouted"How badly do you want me?"
The Uffers, shouted similar questions, but due to the graphic nature of them,
it cannot be shown here! 0 :)
"I answer.... D!!!!"
Suddenly, the host stood up, "You have made the correct choice we are going
to be friends for a long,long time!"...... suddenly the host stepped close,
fangs bit hard into Nicks neck. he screamed........
..............................................................................
...............
Nick awoke to the sounds of a gameshow. A contestant had just won a million
dollars......
"No more of this, i'm switching over to watch something else. er, whats that
show called? "Forever?..............
The end...........
:)
HUGS! susan
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