Date: Sat, 21 Dec 2002 16:03:12 EST
Subject: UF: "UFmas all the way,HEY!"
"UFmas all the way, HEY!"
By: Susan Ellen Field
Dedicated to UFfers near and dear to my heart.You all know who you are (G)
Disclaimer..no UFfer was hurt during the writing of this story..and any resemblance to real people is a coincidence since we know we all can't really be for real, right? all UFfers used without permission as usual.... Permission to post anyplace, and vote for :0 hahahahaha!
Hours had passed since the UFers set about decorating the house.What house you might ask? Well,in Susan's storys as you all might have guessed, things appear or not just cause she can put them in or not G so imagine if you will a large victorian house where many UFfers that show up (or not) at the weekly chats live in together,at least for the sake of this story!
UFmas Eve,early on...... a cold,snowy Knight er...night !
"Geez!! are you still hanging up those lights? We have to get ready.The mall will be jammed with last minute shoppers and then we have to go to the Honey Stick lighting ceremony after that!" Said Julia, through a slit in the window as she sipped her hot chocolate.
"We will be done in a few minutes!" yelled Susan from the top of the ladder "I'm just putting the final lights on my side and April is almost done with the other side of the house".
Gail popped in and out of the door. "Aren't you only suppose to decorate the *Front* of the house with lights and decorations Susan?".
Susan Shrugged. "Wouldn't that make the back of the house awfully jealous?" Gail popped back in.No arguing with that kind of logic.
Now I know what your thinking!! Susan ain't cooking with a full deck, at least not till later on in the story at which time someone might get a joker in the cupcake batter BUT lets carry on.....
"There!! Its finally done!! Susan stepped down from the ladder to admire her handy work. "I'd like to see the neighbors match these lights!".
Thinking it was a good time to give them a test run since it had gotten darker out, Susan went over to the switch and plugged them in...
The lights were dazzzling!! We are talking Aurora Bourealis here!
Now okay, remember early on April was mentioned as being on the other side of the house?"
Well as it happened,April was not quite done plugging all the lights on her side in, so when Susan turned them on, April yelled out ...... " HELPAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Blinded by the intense light, April fell off the ladder and started rolling down the steep snowy hillside.
(You mean I didn't mention the steep snowy hillside? well its there now G)
Her rolling was so fast and intense that she was becoming enveloped in the snow!
Susan shook her head at the screaming.. "Must be some carolers practicing!" she thought,as she went into the house.
"Everyone ready"? lets go!" Said Laurie as the group piled into the dog sled Lorelei had waiting outside.
"Wait!" said Julia taking a head count.(No!! not THAT kind!!)
"Wheres April?" she asked.
"Ah, she must have gone ahead to the mall.Said Jarvinia.
Everyone agreed that was most likely the case..(Of course, everyone had to since Susan was writing everything they did! LOL!
And so a short time later, and several hours after that trying to park the sled team into a crowed parking area, the group went into the mall.
"Oh man look!! Its Santa UFmas!" Shouted Nancy.
"Come-on guys! we have to go ask him for stuff!" Said Laurie.
"Did you remember to print out the list of items we all want jules?" Asked Kelly.
"Yup! have it right here!" As the list only had two important items on it,it was a fast read.
Desiree looked it over. you think Santa UFmas will actually have time to get them for us?"
The group just smiled thinking "Yeah, if we keep at them with alot of letters and emails..
(little KtK humor there)!
Santa UFmas pulled out his list when he saw the UFfers approach.
"Hmmm, seems you are all on the naughty AND nice list I have!"
"Yeah, said Lora."We do have a reputation to uphold" G.
Well, needles to say, a few hours later, The group told Santa UFmas everything they wanted.:).
Finishing up thier shopping,Julia suddenly realised that April still hadn't shown up.
"I wonder where she is?" she said aloud to no one in particular.
"Time to go home guys! The Honey Stick lighting ceremony begins in two hours!" Said Lorelei as she helped the group pack thier stuff.
As they arrived nearly back at the house,Shelley yelled out."Guys!! LOOK!! its a naturally formed snowman!"
The group looked in awe of it. A tall figure.perfectly formed into three balls of snow ! "OH man!! We have got to get this back to the house!.
Carefully loading it onto the sled, they rode up the hill to the front of the victorian mansion where the Lights were illuminating the entire neighborhood!
"Hey guys!! dont you think its kinda funny that all the nighbors are out wearing sunglasses even though its the middle of a dark winters night?" Sandra said...
(And now back to the never-ending UFmas story)......
Carefully unloading the snowperson onto the front driveway, the group set about adding the features it needed and dressing it in The very best UFfish designs.. A purple thong,handcuffs, leather coat...etc....
Finally they stood back to admire thier handiwork...
"Hey! ITS time!!" called out Julia...
"Silently the group gathered around the tall honey stick. Julia, the beloved list cobra took the giant scissors from Jarvinia and climbed up to snip off the top :)
The group lit a campfire around it.A singing dancing ratsie was placed near it. As the warm liquid ran down the sides ,The friends sang Uffish songs. Jules and Susan led the singing with a rousing rendition of "Tainted love" followed by other fave tunes from the 80's...
Well guys, it's right about now that your still wondering "where in the heck is April?"
Okay, sit back,smoke em if you have em.. cause here goes....
As the singing went on for a long time.. (the eighties producing many really kewl songs) The fire around the honey stick grew intense...
The snowman having been placed near it, began to melt.. it started off as a drip..:) and then well, chunks were dropping!!
"Hey!! do you hear a muffled sound coming from the snowman?" said Nancy as she chewed on some gummi butts...
"You know,I think I do!! oh man!! Its Frosty!!" Susan cried out!.
"Yeah, know what you mean, I should have brought an extra sweater" said Libs.
:()
Suddenly the entire group ran over to the snowman..
A hand reached through the melting snow,grabbing Susan by the throat!!
"APRIL!!" the gang yelled as the rest of the snow melted around her feet,gathering in the purple thong...
"We wondered where you went!! oh my gosh! have you been in that snow all this time?" Asked Rae who up to this point had no lines in this story.
Never releasing her grip around Susan's throat she answered with chatterring teeth..
"Yessssss"!.
Well as it happened, The lights on the victorian house blacked out the entire neighborhood and so the only visible glow was coming from the fading embers of the honey stick fire and Susan who was now turning blue.. :).
Hours later and a few thousand hot showers and hot chocolates under her belt,April was fully warmed.
"Merry UFmas april! The group one by one said knighters as they went off to the land of nod cause that was the only place they were gonna find the giuys in THIS story! BG...
"UH, April? said Susan...
"Yeah?"
April replied munching on a UFmas cookie.
"Do you think you could lighten the grip on my throat long enough for me to have a cookie too?"
And so gentle readers, another holiday in UFmas land has come to a close... It is my fervant wish that one and all,near and far, have the best holiday ever!!
Lots and lots of love to all my buds..
Susan
For more outlandish UFfer storys as well as stuff April and I have written together and seperately.. go to: http://www.geocities.com/knightbuds