From: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 2002 16:34:53 EDT
Subject: UF: "The tale of The Great UFkin"
"The Tale of the Great UFkin"
By: Susan Ellen Field
Dedicated to UFkin!!! :)
Just getting a Jump on the holiday and to get you
all in the mood (G)
Disclaimer: all FK characters that might or might
not be in this story are
the property of James P and company...All UFfers are
naturally used without
permission as usual :)
Caution: All spelling and puncuation in this story can get really scary sometimes so dont read this in a dark room alone.....
Gentle Readers,Because its that very special time of the year when once again children and alot of adults that refuse to grow up, dress in costumes and go from door to door begging for candy that they could just go to the supermarket and buy for themselves but figure,what the heck, it cost alot for the costume, might as well use it for something...
And so now that I have your attention I bring to you this very strange story :)
It was UFferween Knight. A Full moon shone as the small group silently made thier way up the rocky cliff that over-looked the sea-coast.The waves crashed against them with natures unleashed fury.
"Hey wait a minute!" said Julia,trying to carry the thirty pound bag of caramel popcorn."Whats with all the waves crashing and rocky sea-coasts?" you live in Florida Susan!"
"Oh come-on Julia" said Nancy. "What good is a Halloween story set in a semi-tropical place with everyone sweating?"
"Okay, good point. Please continue the story Susan" Julia said as she and the rest of the UFfers at long last arrived at thier location.
They sat down.The food and drink were carefully placed and the torches were lit.
They huddled around the campfire in thier assorted costumes to listen to the rest of what was sure to be another one of Susan's strange storys.
Susan placed the flashlight under Aprils chin.It not only served as a way to get everyone in the mood, but gave those who had not previously read the first chapters of "Fears" to catch up, as they were actually Aprils costume.
(Susan was not about to tell her that she accidently used super glue instead of regular body paste for the print-outs having needed the other paste for the tops of crackers.
"Hey wait a minute! April said. "Your the one telling the story, the flashlight is suppose to be under YOUR chin!".
"Oh, yeah, right, I knew that!" and so Susan, lifted the flashlight away from her friend and put it under her own chin, of course being a high beamed light, she couldn't see a thing but the story continued...
As you all know, we get together once a week in a chat room"..
"Well actually, I had someplace else to be last week"! Said Rae.
"You too?" Said Nancy. I was someplace else too!"
"Oh, me too!" said Jules'..
And before the rest could speak up, Susan stood up. "Okay, okay! SOME of us get together Sometimes once a week in the chat!' Satisfied with that correction to the dialog ,Julia gave the go ahead for the story to continue.
"Well once a long time ago, on UFferween Knight, there was another of us in there!"
"Jules squinted her eyes."And who might that have been Susan?"
"Exactly Jules!"
"Huh? Jules said, confused, as were all the others in the story and or reading it to this point!"
"Who might you be" was her name!"
"Do you all remember the times that we would start to chat, only to have someone pop into the chat who everyone would have to guess who they were? or it had been so long we all forgot who they used to be?"
Everyone shook thier heads.
"That was Her!"
"Her?" Her Who?"
"Who might you be!"
Now I know what your thinking!! that this dialog somehow has turned into "Who's on First" BUT no!! that person attends a different chat.. so let's continue shall we?....
But Susan, We would have remembered someone named "Who might you be!" said Lorelei, who was getting into the mood to Dance . :)
"Your making this up!" Said Jarvinia.
"You think?" Susan said, squinting and smiling .
"Well, legend has it that "Who might you be" actually came into a chat and also became part of one of Susan's storys!
"And then what happened Susan?" Asked Laurie who was trying to speak .Her mouth seemed to be getting stuck together. "Hmmm, must be the cheese on those crackers.' she thought reaching for some punch.
It was at this point that Susan not knowing how to fill in this part of the story, decided to actually skip further ahead and not only spare herself the agony of trying to think up something but also spare the readers the extended pain of reading extra....
Susan at long last was finishing her endless Forever UFferween tale.. or was she?
"And so each year she was doomed to return in the form of a UFkin."
"Man Susan! That story really creeped me out! I need a drink! how about the rest of you?"
"You know, Gail hasen't been in and out of the chats in a long time!" Said Sandra who up to this point had no dialog but was now making a special guest star appearence.
They all shook thier heads and reached out thier goblets as they dipped in and out of the large contorted pumpkin punch bowl...
You know Susan,that punch bowl is really weird,where on Earth did you find it?"
Susan's grin grew huge, An evil laugh enveloped everyone.Haven't you guessd?"
"Ah, guessed what?" asked Laurie,afraid of the answer.
"Well, Seems that certain ingrediants most likely left over from the last online WAR got accidently mixed up in with my special receipe for UFerween punch.Well, somehow, "Who might you be" drank some and it had a strange affect on her....
You mean?"
" YUP! Thats UFkin!"
Goblets went flying,screams of terror could be heard for miles or at least within the context of this story,okay maybe as far as the local Walmart too!....
A year passed, along with other things due to the other treats Susan served at her party...
A lone figure made her way up the rocky sea coast.She carefully set out the contents of her UFferween bag.Lighting the torches,she sat down in front of the campfire and held up the flashlight under her chin.
She looked around at the collection of shrunkin,contorted UFerheads.."And so it's time for another story buds.Glad you could all make it, especially you Gail :) said Susan as she patted the top of the UFkin.!
And so ends another creepy tale...
Happy UFferween to one and all, and remember! The moral of the story is dont drink any Uferween punch that Susan might make, cause that really strange pumpkin just might be someone you know!!
Hahahahahahahaha
love and Hugs,
Susan
