"UF: "This Play's A Turkey!"
By: Susan Ellen Field
Dedicated to Shelley :)
Disclaimer: This story is as usual 100% non-beta read.
All UFfers appear or not with out permission as always!
Well UFfer buds, I know what your thinking, that you could actually get through a few holidays without having to endure one of Susan's UFfer tales.. but Nay I say! (g)
And so for your reading pleasure (g) here goes another......
UFsgiving 2002...
Opening Scene:
A group of friends rejoiced in thier yearly get-together.(Of course it was way too early in the story for them to beg for a way out of this story so they continued with the celebration. The excitement was filling the air.. Another UFfer holiday was here.. and this year the gang decided to put on a UFsgiving pagent to show the first UFsgiving meal before they par-took of thier own...
(Warning) this might be a good time for you all to have the pepto on standby) you never know what might be ahead, or in any UFfers case.. *behind*!
::::::::The room was dark, a cadre of knights sat around the table munching down on a bucket of kentucky fried..:::::::::
"CUT!!"
Susan Stepped out of her directors chair,bullhorn in her hand."You interrupted a important scene!"
Julia stepped up to her. "For your information, there were no knights at the first UFsgiving and I doubt they were eating fried chicken either!"
"Are you sure?" Susan said, squinting her eyes.
""Yeah I'm sure!"
"Script woman!" Susan yelled out.
April came forward.
"I need a re-write of this scene immediatly!"
"But you know I'm working on re-writing our other stuff Susan!" she whispered.
"Never-mind about that,we need authenticity!" Get me some pilgrims!"
...... A short time later......
::::::: A cadre of Pilgrims sat at the table :O .:::::::::::::
"Okay, now in this scene, we have the Pilgrims finishing thier meal of thanks and waiting for dessert".Said Susan,motioning Jarvinia to zoom in with the camera.
Susan yelled into the bullhorn."Deserts needed on the set!"
With that,a conga line of Pilgrims led by Lorelei danced thier way into the scene carrying a wide variety of goodies to eat. Rae at the end of the line, lowered the tray to the long wooden table.
"CUT,CUT,CUT!" yelled Julia.
"Well? what is it now?" Susan said.
"For one thing, Pilgrims didn't conga in with dessert."
Okay, we can change that to Disco Dancing".
"April, make the changes"!
April pulled the pencil out from behind her ear and set about erasing the entire last scene.
Julia simply stared at Susan.
"Just what exactly are you having them dance in with anyhow?"
"The usual. Apple and blueberry pies with whipped topping,some pudding in graham cracker cups and (forgetting the last things), Susan called for her continuety expert.
"Jules, whats the third dessert listed on the last script revision?"
Jules quickly looked over her printed out pages.
"Hmmmm, says here its suppose to be Instant Jello squares.Lime,cherry and orange"
"Now wait a minute Susan! " said Julia strongly.
"Pilgrims never had those kinds of things for dessert!!
"And how would you know anyway? Asked Susan.
"I mean, they could have, just how do you think we got those traditions going anyway? If Pilgrims didn't have those things for after dinner, how come we all do now?"
Julia had to admit that Susans logic was, if just this side of wacky, was making sense! (Julia thought to herself that it might be a good time for a vacation if Susan was making sense!)
"Well, okay,maybe".
Susan, feeling smug (g) sat down and yelled out "Okay,Who has the dessert mints?"
Julia groaned loudly as Sandra stepped into the scene with the tray.
"And so the first UFsgiving meal was eaten and enjoyed. After that, the pilgrims went about thier business cleaning up the mess(except for a few dented beer cans which were saved (g) and building houses and a few Walmarts."
Laurie finished reading the last lines of the play and closed the script.She handed it to Gail who came in and out with autographed copies for everyone.
"Well, I think thats going to go over big with the audience!" Said Susan.
"Er, what audience Susan?" Asked Kelly. "Aren't *we all* that are in this play the audience?"
"Hmmm, good point!! Well, see? its already a hit and it hasen't even reached broadway yet!"
The group of UFfers rolled thier eyes.
And so it was that after the play, the merry troup of players retired to the *Feeding The Beast Hall :) and sat down to begin the eating for real.
(Okay UFfers, if you got the pepto ready, nows the time to use it!)
"I dont know about that play, whispered Desiree to Shelley."I mean,dont you think the dialog was a little rough?".
"Not any more so than this turkey!" replied Shelley, trying to keep her teeth from remaining in the food she bit down on.
The hostess of the evening presented herself."Good evening fellow UFfers!" It is my pleasure to announce that our plays reviews are in the "Daily UFfer"
The group of friends one by one lifted thier heads out from under the table where they had been removing the remnants of Susan's meal from thier mouths.
Susan began reading the review.
"The most insipid play I ever saw"..
Can you belive that guys? they actually thought it was insipid!! how kewl is that?"
"Ah, Susan?" Whispered April into Susan's ear.
"Oh, really? no shit? hmmm,"...Well what do THEY know! :).
" Well anyhow, getting past the insipid part, the rest of the review goes on to say that it was technically, historically inacurate,filled with drivel for dialog and over-acted!".
"In other words guys, job well done!!" We have once again proved that we are unique!! Bravo buds!"
The Uffers stood up and applauded.Well actually it wasen't really applause.. they were just smacking thier hands together trying to ease the pain in thier mouths after eating Susan's Pumpkin surprise pie...
And so another season is passed, along with a few other things from the UFfers insides.. we go truimphantly onward and upward,leading towards... (you guessed it!!) another UFmas tale coming soon!!
Happy UFsgiving to all my friends in the UF.
May your holiday be filled with love and good food!!
Xoxoxoxoxo
Susan